Ask HN: How not to end like Terry Davies

I want to have fullfiling life, but I have a psychiatric illness. I'm good programmer and faith helps me with my illness. However I don't want to devote my life to the God.

How to make my life ok with knowledge that God exists, world is cruel and I can change it?

Should I convince Bill Gates to talk to the Pope? Should I write an app to convince people how to live happy life? Should I get as much money as possible and help the world? Should I just write a blog in a spare time?