Ask HN: How to cancel a job offer finding another offer

You call the person who recruited you personally on the telephone, don't email as a first step because that is cowardly and rude. You say to them "I'm feeling uncomfortable about this but I'm sorry I have been offered and accepted a role which pays more and is at a company that I feel is a better fit to what I am looking for. Apologies for doing this after I have already accepted a role with you. I know it is bad form."

No, you should not expect that company or recruiter to ever do business with you again, why would they? But that's the price you pay for continuing to interview for jobs after you have accepted one. You have behaved unprofessionally and were disrespectful of the time, money and resource that it took to get you recruited into the first job. But that's okay, it's not a huge sin, lots of people do it unfortunately and really you must look after your interests primarily. Sh*t happens and people sometimes find better jobs, probably because they really wanted a job and made the mistake of accepting something that they really were not so enthused about.

It is not a terrible taboo. You are expected, as soon as you accept an offer, to stop pursuing other job opportunities. That being said, the company will be more understanding if you ended up taking an offer that was _SIGNIFICANTLY_ better than your current offer. If they have a shred of decency they will not share this information with anyone [and certain people such as COO and HR staff may be obliged not to discuss the situation as part of their contracts], so they won't hurt your chances at other firms. You can bet your bottom dollar that they won't reconsider you, though.

You should talk directly to the people who interviewed you [no email, letter, etc]. especially if the firm is much more reputable and the pay is significantly higher, they may be sympathetic.

But before doing it, make sure that is what you want to do. It may, in some circumstances, make sense to take on a job that pays less or is less reputable if you think you have a better opportunity to shine (I've turned down job offers from lots of much more reputable places in lieu of an offer that put me in a more senior position).

The hiring game as nothing to do with you, its a game played between companies. Just be sure to call the person tomorrow and tell them you have a better offer. No need to feel bad, feel good people are after you. Its not the first time this happens. If they really want you they may match your other offer. Good Luck and feel good.

That said, this is unlikely to significantly harm you, so don't worry about it too much. It would have done you much worse to miss out on the second opportunity!

I'd recommend a simple phone call. "Hiya Bob, thank you for your time in getting us to this offer of employment. Circumstances have changed and it looks like I will not be able to work for your firm. I apologize for the inconvenience. ... Yes, Bob, I appreciate that this puts you in a bit of a lurch. Please accept my apologies. Would you like me to recap this conversation in a letter? Thank you Bob. Best of luck finding a candidate."

I don't particularly suggest telling them that you're taking employment elsewhere. That's something you tell your friend. They're not your friend. If you worked there, they would still not be your friend. Bob might eventually have become your friend, but right now Bob is a corporate officer of a company which underbid for your services. You don't particularly owe them explanations or excuses.

At-will employment is a two-way street.

anyway, the reason why i knew i was blacklisted was because i was interviewing for a post with that same company in another region several months (~6) later and as soon as the headhunter put me through to hr, they stopped all communications, no details given.

fwiw you should never burn bridges, but in this case, over time i found that this company was the complete anti-thesis of the type of company that i would want to work for and i thank their hr for donning light on that through their utter ineptitude and incompetence, not because they blacklisted me, but because they were so ridiculously disorganized. the facts: hr could not identify the exact title and position that i was interviewing for correctly, several times i would be interviewing for position x (told by hr, job description in hand), only to figure out that the interviewer was looking for position y and was considering me for position y (which was with the same division, but a different role). when doing a phone interview with the vp of the region, he didn't successfully make it until our 3rd attempt (across 3 differently scheduled days) at a conference call, various reasons which i think were ridiculous: laptop was having problems so he couldn't access the conference call number from his calendar, second time was more forgivable that something important had come up, but i was not given advanced notice, only told after waiting in the conference call for 20 minutes and after 3 emails to hr to figure out why the guy was late.

but to come back to your point, you had gone a bit further than i by accepting an offer, i'm assuming signed a contract, and only weeks later you turned them down. while i agree with some of the posts that that's life, that the company had failed to provide you with a fair valuation/compensation package, but at the same time, i doubt the original company was looking to low-ball you, that's quite possibly what they could pay you given their salary ranges. you did the right thing by not trying to re-negotiate with the first company, that would be completely disrespectful.

i highly suggest trying to bridge this relationship with the first company, tell them your intent clearly, that you're retracting your acceptance, but be prepared to answer because they will ask why. personally i usually give the truth, but that's up to you. remember, you want to treat people how you expect to be treated.

and overall, let this be a lesson learned, given that i realize the job market is not in the best shape, but i believe that you were a bit eager to take on the first company's offer. a little restraint and negotiation could let you to stretch that offer while not accepting and looking for something else that's more fitting.

If it isnt truly better for your career, then they will have the opportunity to explain why or sweeten.

The only time I get upset is if someone leaves in the middle of a project without enough notice.