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You haven't listed any of your needs or wants that you wish to satisfy. Why isn't that just a short bullet point list somewhere? Why isn't all of this a collection of short bullet point lists:

* Skill set

* Achievements at last company

* Education

Considering the whole point of this page is to generate leads to request your resume why is it so long? why not keep it vague?

Some of your opening sentences need a lot of work. In fact, just remove words. Keep removing words:

"My experience with ArcObjects is extensive. I have been using ArcObjects for well over 3 years and have been using the framework almost on a daily basis"

= * 3+ years developing on ArcObjects

And this? why?

Python is one of the worlds best interpreted languages. Even though it is more than 20 years old, it is just now coming to the world stage. I use it in most of my crone jobs that need to be completed on a set schedule.

or this

Silverlight and me are like a pea in a pod.

(thats actually quite hilarious - do you mean two peas in a pod?)

Hobbies = irrelevant.

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Never publish your salary; you've just lost your negotiating power with anyone who's read this post.

EDIT: Looks like the comment containing salary info was deleted.

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I don't find your site to do a very good job at articulating what you're looking for, and what your skill set is.

The first thing you read is that your attributes are "Big Data" "Strong" and "Commenter" why don't you put actionable things? big data is debatably valuable, but the others are just noise

I action on the things I've built. Maybe I should have pointed down to the links where "I do love data" etc... Utopiapimp.com, my job, and one of my current hobby projects are big data. I can't really talk about my job that much and my hobby project is in development. The only thing I have to show for "data" is utopiapimp.com.
If you're a developer, and that isn't entirely clear, "stuff I have built" is #1 thing to show off.
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In fact, just remove words. Keep removing words:

This is great advice for all resumes because of the TL;DR problem. Professional resume builders, recruiters, and HR people have all told me the same thing - every single word should be there for a reason. Remember that the person reading your resume is likely reading 10s or 100s of them. If they see a wall of text they will just move on.

You also hit on another point, be specific. For example, I would like to see your shortened version of ArcObjects in a quick points at the top of the resume and then very specific support in following descriptions.

To the OP, so what if you used ArcObjects daily for 3 years, explain exactly what you did with that tech. If you can, use specific numbers (users and dollars tend to jump out).

Keep it vague and remove words?

I used to do that with all my resumes actually. Concise and to the point. Though as I went further along, I started hearing what HR reps looks for and what Recruiters want. They want people to explain more about what they have accomplished. I figured to separate things by knowledge of a certain subject then push it out to what I have built, instead of saying what I built then and what Tech Ive used. Sadly, Im in a bit of a classified environment. So its harder for me to explain my actual work and much easier to explain the tech used.

Keep this site, the lead generator for your resume, vague.
Hey all, Its the poster.

Over the past few weeks, I have learned that my job is moving to a location I would very much not like to travel to. So I decided to do what I can to stand out. Its pretty tough finding full time remote jobs for developers, or at least it has been where I looked. So I decided to try and be a cut above the rest and create something that might be an extra push for a job.

So I am looking and could only hope someone who looks at this is interested in hiring a Full Time Remote Worker.

btw, I wouldn't mind traveling/flying once a month for a few days at a time to the office. I know there would be some requirements that involve face to face. I am definitely willing to talk it over.

"I can write especially well."

and

"I love high tense situations which move my mind and body quickly."

Consider rephrasing :)

I don't think that page will get you any jobs, it's all about you you you and not about the potential employer.

it's all about you you you and not about the potential employer.

This is great advice. Every piece of software I've written for my current employers carries some dollar value either in cost savings, revenue growth, or employee productivity gains. While some are not always easy to quantify, I do my best to come up with numbers and make sure they are on my resume.

Not sure if you know, but it's pretty easy to get your name by using a whois...
Well, its also pretty easy if they go to my blog. My name is scattered all over. I just figured HR type folks wouldn't be that inclined...
Some will, some won't. HR types are getting very good at the Google as a way of pre-screening applicants (trust me, my startup is focused on the HR space and I chat with lots of recruiters every day).
I think they would. They are getting pretty savvy these days...
"Learning and growth is extremely important to me. Any position I fill will need to provide room for me to grow, and the company will need to fulfill my need for continuing education, specifically regarding my chosen paths. "

Cool idea, but if you're going to include the above line I would probably mention what your "chosen paths" are, and what the company would need to do to "fulfill your need" for it. It sounds like your asking for financial assistance, but it's really not clear.

Isn't it moot to withhold your name but still list that you work at Northrop Grumman and are the webmaster for the International Women's Flag Football Association? There can't be too many people who fit that description.
hah. You're right. Thats why I said I wouldn't mind pushing my resume to anyone really interested.
Not too mention you say that you are coordinating the HackerNewsDC group. A quick Google search narrows you down to one of three people.
And a whois on the domain narrows it down to one :)
I think the point wasn't total secrecy. He just doesn't want someone Googling his name to find him begging for a job on Hacker News.
Your page boils down to "I'm great. Someone please give me X, Y, and Z"

Someone amongst the people you know (and the ones they know) has a problem that you can solve with your skillset. Demonstrating a solution (or a compelling plan for a solution) to that person is an excellent way to show how you will add value... and becomes a very compelling argument for hiring you.

Go talk to those people, find out what problems they face, and show how you will help them solve those problems.

Also... "Spoiled"? Presumably you mean that in a dryly amusing way. Unfortunately, it has a fairly strong negative connotation to me. That connotation, coupled with the kind-of begging for a job "It's all about what I want" webpage makes me seriously wonder why I would hire you.

That's just me though, maybe other people would just find it funny.

If I made it all about what I want, wouldn't I be putting more of my needs and wants rather than what I can offer?

Spoiled is just one of those nice "catch phrases" I found while developing so I ran with it. Nothing bad.

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You may want to consider adding code samples. If you still wish to remain anonymous(-ish), sanitize the code and link to it on the page; otherwise, link to Git.
Why not put a more easily-readable resume? This is a site I made (free) so you can create it here and leave it as it is (while sending it out to companies you want to join), without fear of retribution from your current employer since you can always say that you are just storing/maintaining your resume online. Also shameless plug.

http://www.cvstash.com

Please note that IT career is a Bell Curve.
What do you mean by that?
"I am looking for a Full Time Remote Job to satisfy my needs and wants."

Why remote? You do not address that anywhere else on your page. Why would you be more effective working remotely? My first impression when people say they want to work remotely is that they don't work well with others. Also, that statement also makes you seem selfish - the job to you is all about satisfying YOUR needs and wants, and says nothing about your potential employer, which further supports my impression.

I have a few reasons, but I am tired of the 9-5 driving to work for 30 minutes each way, getting ready in the morning while putting really nice and expensive clothes on, then getting home at night and only have 4 hours to do my thing. If I didn't commute or take the time to dress up, I would save a minimal of 2 hours a day. Most people have to do this and sadly, shouldn't have to.

There are other reasons as well, but just wanted to give an example. I am trying to compact my entire life and this is one of them. With my job moving farther away, it would be more than an hour commute each way now as well.

On a flip side, remote work may shift and fragment your schedule. If your employer is in a different time zone, your work time may shift and your free time now suddenly has less overlap with a free time of your family and friends. Part of the success at remote position is making yourself readily available and it can be easily abused.

I am not trying to talk you out of it, but it may happen that you will miss your 9-to-5 even with the commute.

I would tend to agree with you. I took up remote work about 18 months ago, after relocating to another country where no local work was available. While saving commuting time is certainly a big plus, there are a lot of downsides, including: - not having colleagues to socialize with, and the stimulus of a professional environment - not spending enough time out of the house - having to deploy a substantial amount of willpower simply to follow a regular work schedule - having no clear separation between work and home, which means I find it much harder to relax or "call it a day" than before.
Yes, you and everybody else in the world. You are not a snowflake unique among snowflakes in this regard. As an employer, this is not a good enough reason for me to just hand you a remote job.

But what's important is that as someone hiring, I would have just thrown your resume away (or in this case closed the window) because you seem selfish. You would never have the chance to explain.

My extra curricular activities in the first place shows that I am not the selfish type. Working for others instead of my self. Creating a website with over 20k users which is rather a handful and getting nothing but thanks and gratitudes in return. I find that far from selfish.
If you're looking to do remote work because you're sick of your current 9-5, you shouldn't look to remote work to fix anything.

I worked anywhere from 30%-50% a week remote at my last gig and it still requires maintaining somewhat regular hours (you still have colleagues) and a routine. I now work remotely save for trips to the Head Office every once in awhile. You still need a routine because you have other colleagues you need to interface with, at least sometimes in real-time.

If you want to set your own hours and do your own thing, start freelancing or start your own business. My ability to work remotely was an asset when I started at my new job, but if I phrased it like you did ("I don't wanna wear nice closes and drive") it would make me sound more like a sloth than a good remote worker.

And if you work remote, you best be getting out and dressed up at least a day a week anyway. Interaction is REALLY important and you'll go crazy if you don't get out and see people.

Have you ever worked remotely?

The typography is hard on the eyes.

  - Large blocks of italicized text are hard to read in any font 
  - Low contrast between font color and background color
  - The single, narrow paragraph (i.e. "Android" section in particular) is hard to read unless you increase the line spacing
For me, personally, it's hard to take a candidate seriously when their resume is so reader-hostile.

I would consider either (a) enlisting a designer friend to tidy up the typography, or (b) switching to plain, unformatted text.

I understand your points. While I am not a graphic artist, I do understand the typography etc...

Thanks for your points. I will get right to it.

if you dont want to give out your name, atleast make the whois for your site private?
The whole intro talks about you, and what you want, but not what value you offer to employers.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/06...

I offer my skill set and knowledge there of. My points I have made via the skills I have attained. I am trying to build my self up in front of employers. So they realize my confidence. Then I go into the details about my self...
I think what georgie is saying is that employers don't care about your skill set and knowledge, per se. They only care about what your skill set and knowledge can do for them.

Also, I second georgie's recommendation of How to Win Friends and Influence People. You can see a relevant section of the book here: http://books.google.com/books?id=yxfJDVXClucC&lpg=PP1...

Click through to the next page too...

I don't buy the skill set -- It is way too broad. Some of those skills must be stronger than others. I have no way of knowing if you are a CSS wizard who also does some C#, or if you spend 90% of your time doing GIS apps for iOS. And I therefore would not even bother to call you because the resume says nothing to me other than, "I think I can code."
I stopped reading when I got to your "Comments" section:

> I don't comment every line of code, but I comment in large quantities.

Ok, I can relate to this.

> I am of the mind set that code [...]

You mean "mindset."

> [...] should speak for it self when you write proper names for what the variable or method actually does.

You mean "itself." Also, that's a really awkward way of saying "self-documenting code."

> But comments are still needed outside of what I like to call Codese.

What?

> The language of coders.

This is a sentence fragment, and I know nothing more about what "Codese" is, or why you call it that.

Proofread. Spellcheck. Read it aloud to yourself multiple times. Seriously.

First, I recommend cleaning up your writing. It is long-winded. There are several grammatical mistakes. I interview job candidates a lot and reading a super-long resume that doesn't tell me anything about what you have done wastes my time. I want to see that you can clearly, and concisely tell me what you should be hired. Think about it this way: would you want to read code that could have been written using 1/8 the number of lines?

If it doesn't fit on 1 printed page (or in this case my 13 inch screen without scrolling), then it's too long.