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I wonder how long you can survive on coffee alone.

Well with the more milk and sugar than coffee drinks likely quite long, but scurvy might be a long term problem too.

Not more than a few months. Seems about the same as if you fasted but drank all the water you needed.
I was intrigued by this question ever since I read Angela's ashes by Frank McCourt.

Seems like his father survived on porter alone (although obviously this is told though a child's eyes).

Beer seems to contain around 1% protein which isn't much. Carbs should be plenty though.

I recall a story from the late 1980's about a couple of young German men that stowed away in a shipping container for the weeks-long duration of the journey to America surviving on beer alone.
There’s a persistent myth that in medieval Europe, most people drank wine or ale instead of water because the latter was so polluted that it was rendered non potable.

Turns out this isn’t really true. I also wonder what the effects are of drinking alcohol all the time; surely it must be damaging to the kidneys.

The way you phrased the myth isn't true for the entire population of England, for example. But it is somewhat true - depending on how one interprets what you wrote, and depending on geographical location and time period.

For example, it is true that everyone drank beer almost every day regardless of whether or not they had access to clean water - but not beer as we think of it today; it was probably less than 3% ABV, and had lots of varied additives that are now extremely rare in commercial beers (counting all breweries small and large.)

In places where clean water was easily available, beer was consumed for its calories (people worked all day) as well as quenching your thirst, and for its taste - but also because it wasn't cold. Your body spends lots of energy warming up cold water. Safe drinking water was often cold, because it came from underground wells or moving sources like what we'd call aqueducts.

Even infants were fed beer. You can look up the poem "Beer" by Charles Calverley, which contains the famous line "Guinness, Allsop, Bass! Names that should be on every infants tongue." He lived between 1800-1900.