Ask HN: Mobile phone addiction help?

257 points by swen-rekcah ↗ HN
Hey HN

I’m looking for advice and/or suggestions on how to “lockdown/brick” my mobile (iPhone 8) phone to only be able to do a select number of things.

I currently suffer with OCD and anxiety, and my addictions to my phone is making me lethargic and causing regular migraines and eye strain issues.

I do have a second “dumb phone” (Nokia flip 2720) but due to having a “mobile only” bank account I have to have access to my iPhone.

I only really want to be able to text (not WhatsApp) call, and have access to 3 banking apps. I have tried everything, but when I’m feeling “good” or sometimes when I’m feeling rubbish - I will always end up downloading “scroller” apps - Twitter, Instagram, Shopping apps etc - and I quickly waste days and days hooked to it, before prying myself away from it again.

Any advice would be hugely beneficial.

Thank you

267 comments

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How essential the banking apps are in your everyday life? If you don't need them to be available all the time, maybe you could store your iPhone somewhere behind a time lock and schedule specific times when you deal with your banking needs?
1. Settings —> Screen Time —> App Limits 2. Make your App Store/Apple ID password something needlessly complex and give someone else the paper with it on so they need to read it to you over the phone when you need it. 3. Send a screenshot of your app usage to a third party every week and if you exceed limits get them to donate some money you give them to a cause you hate in your name 4. Put your phone on grayscale
Thanks for the suggestion I have turned on the grayscale filter, and I think it may dull my interest in the device re:screen time - I have attempted this multiple times, and even got my partner to set the passcode. However I just bypass it and reset it via forgot passcode and my Apple ID password
If you trust your partner, encourage them to be stricter with you and to further restrict access to your device.

Create a new Apple ID that only they have access to and reset your phone to that ID, then lock it down again. You can also go further with other settings then like using a DNS server that allows you to block the domains of problem sites, stopping you from bypassing the lack of apps with websites.

Also, maybe consider an iPad and throwing away the iPhone. It's bigger and harder to compulsively check and you can't carry it in your pocket. Do your banking on that, bin the iPhone, carry a dumbphone all day instead. If you can break the habit of pulling out your phone to check it you'll gain a bit of breathing space for your compulsions.

I know multiple people with OCD and anxiety. For some, professional treatment and medication works well. For others, the only thing that really works is cognitive behavioural therapy, and finding a system that works for you is going to be trial and error.

Different people might need different medication. While anxiety is usually treated with tranquilizers, there is also a possibility there is an undiagnosed adhd, so stimulants might work better.
Get a new bank. If the bank is a part of a significant problem for your life you should just swap it out for a bank that will let you access your accounts through a browser as needed. Toss your smart phone and only use the dumb phone.
Can you advise a bank account? I have three, currently, and they all require a smartphone to use them. My GitHub account now also requires a smartphone to log in for 2fa, which I was required to setup on my account (they do have SMS functionality, but not in my country). More and more, a smartphone is simply inescapable as a form of identity. It sucks - but the backup form of identity is a phone number, which sucks even more.
What country are you in? In the US I am beyond happy with Charles Schwab. I’ve been using them for ~10 years and I can’t think of a reason why I would switch.
Ireland. There are strict regulations around 2fa for online banking.
I have only ever used one bank (Wells Fargo) my entire life, so I am not a good candidate to suggest banks. I am satisfied with Wells Fargo though, for what it's worth. I can log in through the browser.
I'm from Europe. There's all kinds is new regulations around 2fa for banking apps that came out last year, logging in seems to absolutely require a phone now, and all my accounts use an app to do it.
2fa through SMS? You don't need a smartphone for that.

I don't know about Ireland, but in Portugal most banks have a Web app and not just a mobile app.

Sorry I should have been clearer - the banking app is Monzo and they don’t have a web app for mobile or desktop
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If you're using monzo I'm guessing UK - pretty much all the banks other than monzo, starling, revolut are _fine_
Neither of my British accounts require a smartphone to log in, they send an SMS or make a voice call. My Danish account uses either an app or SMS.

You probably can't use a startup bank, as the app is one way they cut costs. Use a boring bank.

Just curious: Doesn't you Danish account still support the little cardboard card with the one-time codes?

Personally I really hate that they want to kill the card, and go to an app model (with the option of a key fob). It's made even worse by the police (and others) pushing the idea that the app is safer. How is it safer to have your two-factor authentication app on the same devices as the apps that need the second factor? Those things should be separate.

You are correct, I can also use the code card of one-use keys.

I was confused by the recent change where online purchases require an SMS or the app, and no longer work with the code card.

I think the app is probably encouraged since it protects against a phishing site like this: hxxp://tilbagebetaling1060dkk.net/1060DKK/ -- but I'm not quite sure how.

SMS as a 2nd factor is ( for a very good reason ) prohibited by dspp2 European directive. You.might have escaped that with brexit though. Even old school banks ( French dude here ) are forced to use apps as 2fa, but my bank for example can provide an hardware token, or a smartcard.
In case you use macOS and own a M1 mac, check if your bank's 2fa app works on macOS. Your bank can deactivate it but iOS apps default to being runnable under macOS.
UK here:

Barclays don't require the app. You can still use the website or even telephone banking with a real agent. They do give you the chip and pin reader, the same as the one used in branches which works well.

Santander do seem to use a mobile for 2FA but only to send a text message and you can still use the website.

I rarely have to do more than 1 banking transaction / week so I just use the website, from home. Not too bothered about having another app, especially with access to my bank account.

Sorry I should have been clearer - the banking app is Monzo and they don’t have a web app for mobile or desktop
> My GitHub account now also requires a smartphone to log in for 2fa

TOTP isn’t exclusive to mobile apps. You can easily use the authenticator from a desktop. Some password managers (eg 1Password) have this built in as well.

Not intending to offend or be offensive, but how do old people bank in your country?

My parents wouldn't be caught dead with a smartphone, but they still need to do banking.

I can't speak for GP but we have mobile-only* banks in my country too. They usually have better interest rates, let you easily pay your bills from the app and let anyone open an account with just an ID. Many traditional banks have a lot of not so easy to meet requirements for opening an account and not so good customer service. Old people still use traditional banks because they are used to them and don't mind waiting 4 or 5 hours in queue for something that only takes 2 minutes on an app or a website.

* To clarify this, I don't mean banks that require a mobile app for TOTP or some sort of security, I mean banks that only let you operate through their mobile app. Their website is usually just a link to the app stores. and some FAQ, they don't have a physical location you can go.

You can use Screen Time to prevent yourself from installing new apps. First, delete all applications aside from your banking apps. Next, go to Settings - Screen Time - Content and Privacy Restrictions - iTunes & App Store Purchases. From here, you can disable installing apps, which hides the App Store on your phone. You can also disable Safari from Screen Time. If you find yourself turning off Screen Time, have somebody else set a four digit passcode for you. You'll be left with a phone that can only text and bank.
I have locked down one of my phones this way and it's working really nice.
Thanks for the suggestion re:screen time - I have attempted this multiple times, and even got my partner to set the passcode. However I just bypass it and reset it via forgot passcode and my Apple ID password
Perhaps you could have your partner set your Apple ID password? Or you could change it to a very long string that is a pain to enter, write it down, and store it in a place where it is mildly inconvenient to access.
When they set up screen time passcode, have them enter their apple id and password. Then you will not be able to reset it with yours.
Read “digital minimalism” and try a detox using the Screen Time tip mentioned in another comment.

Make it black and white and as uninteresting as possible. Then find something else to do with your time that is actually solid recreation.

I go in cycles on this and tend to flip from the extremes. Recently bought a 12 Pro Max solely for the camera so I would have the best possible iPhone camera to take photos of my family and a bigger screen to access work resources on the go. But it’s leaking into other areas as well. So I’ll just need to do spring cleaning and delete apps soon. I find email and all communications channels get cluttered if you don’t cull them or put guardrails around them.

I’d love to know any other tools people recommend for dealing with this.

Something I have started doing is decoupling functionality from my phone. For example, I bought a cheap 4GB mp3 player a couple months ago. I bought a standalone alarm clock too. Basically I have tried to reduce the number of things I use my phone for. This means I no longer even have my phone with me a lot of the time.

The other change I have made is keeping my phone on silent by default and blocking notifications for almost everything.

I put parental controls on my phone to block all but only the most vital apps. Only my wife knows the password to unlock. Maybe something similar will help you out.
My wife already knows all the passwords to my banking apps and I'm pretty much locked out all the time anyways. All I have to do is just go to work. It's great.
These points should help - 1) Do you have someone near whom you can trust with social passwords? If yes, great. Ask them to change all your passwords and then you get 1 cheat day where the person will enter the password again and delete app(s) at the end of the day.

2) Change color to monochrome in iPhone settings.

3) These things should pretty much sort out. If you are still using browser etc and can’t get rid of the iphone, go buy a basic phone which can run your bare minimum banking apps.

4)For 2FA, use Authy. It does have a desktop app.

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One thing that helps for me is to reduce the supply of information. I disabled as many feeds and suggestions as possible, if necessary with ad blockers. My Facebook and LinkedIn feeds are literally empty. I've been aggressively cutting notifications and incoming emails from all sources. I also interact far less on social media, so I rarely get pulled back in. I have fewer and fewer ways to kill time online.

On the phone itself, all notifications are off except for instant messages. I don't have any social media apps, only utilities. There's nothing to do on my phone anymore.

I found that MacOS' screen time notification is a great incentive to step away from the computer. My average screen time is a few hours less than it was a few weeks ago.

You should also pay attention to what triggers a look at your phone and work on that. Learning to fight the muscle reflex os important too.

Buy a shitty phone. Also, this technique from dealing with cigarette addiction would help: change your brand. If you use iPhone, buy a budget $100 android with the smallest screen possible. If you use Android, buy an old iPhone 5. It'll work for banking apps but should be annoying enough that you won't use it so much.

Next, what is the website/app you most want to quit? Make quitting that your keystone. Fully commit to quitting that one website. For me it was reddit, and I haven't used it once in 4 or 5 months.

Then, uninstall all apps and switch to firefox. Install the leechblock addon, put a delay on all websites you want to stop using.

Bonus: switch to nextdns and block sites at the DNS level.

If any of that sounds like too much work, you need to ask whether you're really serious about tackling your addiction. Are you really serious about this? Yes? Then it's time for serious action. Small actions won't cut it. You need to send your subconscious a clear message that this is important to you.

Also, consider what kind of information you spend time absorbing. You are what you read/watch. Get some books on habit formation, willpower, psychology, read those in your downtime. The Power of Habit and Atomic Habits are great.

Great suggestions here thank you. The anxiety caused by my OCD is so great that I will find my way into my phone, and getting it back to “normal” ASAP - screen time I just reset passcode, or override via ‘forgot passcode’ feature. I’ve used my phone as a crutch for my anxiety for soo long that in times of “need” or even when things are going great and I think I can allow myself a bit of freedom with the device. It always ends up running away from me
In an effort to not repeat some of the great comments already, I think it would be beneficial for you try to find things to do that don't involve your phone.

Try to find something to do that you find more interesting than being on your phone, sports (Running/Cycling), hobbies, walks etc.

I'm as guilty as anyone for looking at my phone too often, its usually only when I have nothing better to do, because of that it makes it worse.

Thank you. I do run and this is another trigger, because I’m “feeling good” I will download apps like Strava, Nike running, Garmin app (linked to running watch) - I also illustrate and not being able to have apps like Instagram to promote work is annoying
I can relate to that feeling, you start a sport so you dive straight into downloading all of the apps to track yourself etc, I get it, I totally get it.
I say this honestly without snark.

Visit a library if you can and "waste days" reading books instead. You don't have to borrow the book, just take it off the shelf, read some, and put it back.

I only reacquainted myself with my local library recently, and it is amazing to find a space that provides you with free utility, without any ads and without any attempts to pry money from you.

I have to consciously lower my "cynic/suspicion" filter whenever I get there.

Great suggestions already given on how to limit your phone use... But I can only imagine that it leaks into other areas of your life.

Have you’ve looked into treating the causes you mentioned? Perhaps behavioral therapy.

Thank you. I am undergoing CBT and Exposure Therapy for my contamination based OCD (this isn’t linked to the phone usage) however in times of anxiety caused by the compulsions I head straight for my phone, and will get into it any way possible
My dumb method: Physical separation.

I live in my parents home, which is at third floor. I work at their garage, which is not a garage for car, but for bikes. It is at first floor.

When I work, I put my phones at home. When I need to sleep, I put my phones at garage.

I'd say, get professional help.

From what I see, you want a cure all dumb and easy method to stop you from using your phone. Forget it, it's not gonna happen, there is no easy way anymore with the behaviour you are showing: reseting your girlfriend's password on your phone without feeling guilt is just beyond healthy right now.

Even if you somehow switch to another bank with a Web app, you'll probably switch from scrolling tweeter on your phone to scrolling on your laptop.

Get a therapist and talk it out.

In my case, disabling almost all the distracting social media notifications has helped me a great deal. I've long given up on using Instagram, Facebook. I saw Twitter and Reddit used to take up a bulk of my time, so I've removed the apps and I use the browser for these sites. Also, there's the screen time notification which I've set and forgotten the password to. I've so far resisted the urge to reset that password.

I believe at the end of day, just like any other forms of addiction, strong will is what helps us.

Disable all notification except a few necessary one. If possible get an android phone and enable "focus mode". Try it sometime and see if it works for you
Disable all notification excep a few necessary one. If possible get an android phone temporarily and enable "focus mode". See if it helps
My solution for "I will always download" ... I have separate sim for my facebook account, and I only use it to register messenger.

I have contemplated switching to e-ink smarphone. Eink screens are getting usable enough for texting/banking, but are still horrible enough not to spend hours on social media.

I've previously changed my phone to black and white mode to make it more boring. That helped me prevent some amount of usage.
Switch banks. Stick to your dumbphone. Problem solved.
You can use the Apple family stuff to setup your iPhone as a child in the family. Then you have parental controls I believe let you restrict apps and domains the phone can access.
You can use parental controls without linking your phone to anyone else's.
My solution to this has been to get a cheap Android phone and keep social media apps on that, leaving my iPhone with only "useful" apps for navigation and work-related stuff. This has worked out well for two reasons: (1) It makes my decision to diddle about on social media a more deliberate one (2) I only get "useful" notifications on my iPhone - no fake DMs for Pinterest, etc. trying to get me to on the app.