What should I do with my life?

Dude, you're 20. Go back to school and get a freaking diploma. Take those 4 years to figure out what the hell you want with your life. After that you will be.. what... 24?

Life haven't even started yet kid.

I was like that when I was 20, except for the art stuff. I write code, that's what I'm good at, everything else is uninteresting, therefore I fail at it horribly.

Nevertheless, ten years later, I have a good job, which I absolutely love, and even when I leave home, I can barely wait the next morning so I can come back in and work. (Ok, it's not THAT bad, but you get the idea!)

And whenever I ask myself "what the hell am I going to do when I'm 40?", I know the answer: I'll still be working here, still be loving it. Perhaps I'll have a mid-length tie by then, perhaps not - I'm not worried.

Life, and jobs aswell, has its ups and downs. Starting a career is usually a bit of a downhill ride at first, but don't worry, once you find that one thing you were meant to do, these questions about the future will vanish.

Don't feel bad about not having a destination it's not an indicator of anything but you being 20.

Spend the next 10 years learning stuff. Do what you feel like even if it means you will change area of interest every 6 months, even if it means you want to learn knitting.

What will happen is that you will learn how to learn. And that is going to be more beneficial than having a degree.

Enjoy the ride but for frogs sake.... quit the weed.

If you've got some coding skills and some art skills then I'd suggest you think about working in the computer games industry where these things tend to collide. You'll probably need some maths but you could probably study that.

I don't think it's just you. When I was 20 I had a really hard time knowing what I was going to do next (in fact, when I was about 22 I had a real crisis about how I was going to get through the next year because I felt so lost).

I would suggest that you do a couple of things: feeling lost can be a real drain on your ability to see clearly, so you might want to find a counsellor of some sort to talk things through. I'm not suggesting that there's something wrong with you, but my experience is that in life it can be hard to explain to someone you know all the thoughts you are having and it's easier to explain to someone neutral. I've been through that and it does help. It's not a magic bullet but it helps.

Secondly, have you thought about producing something yourself? For example, perhaps you have an idea for a mobile phone app (or game) that you could produce to show off your skills (and perhaps make some money).

> "what the fuck am I going to be when I'm 30"

don't worry that you don't know that, it won't be whatever you think when you are 20 anyway.

earn a few bucks and go on a trip some place you find interesting or liked on pictures, you can never go wrong with that.

Here's the most likely problem: You aren't mature enough yet. Not really in the ego/experience sense, but in the physical mind/body sense. If my anecdotal experience(just a few years out at 25) is any indication, youth makes it harder to stay grounded and take your immediate reality seriously.

For now, stay healthy, keep learning, try lots of things and do good work. You'll be prepared for whatever comes next.

First things first, you need to chill the f*ck out. You're 20 years old. You've only accomplished a small fraction of your life's mistakes, you have plenty more to look forward to.

Next, get a job. It sounds like your life needs some structure and distraction from your own thoughts. I'm not suggesting this job should be your life's purpose, just enough to give you something to focus on besides yourself.

As you are also artistic, start hanging around with the 'maker' community, they welcome people with coding skills. You'll probably get burned by hangers-on a few times but gravitate to the folks who are dedicated and can deliver.

The most interesting person I know couldn't give you a job description. He teaches kids, builds giant robot sculptures and creates science museums.

Just hang out with interesting, creative, passionate people and you will discover what you like to do.

You coded in C++/Javascript for clients that don't pay. Go to college and learn Computer Science. This will allow you to code for clients that pay. Some of these companies will suck, but some of them will be very good places with great coworkers and a lot of creativity.

The art diploma will be useless. If you have a CS degree, you can have a day job that pays well and maintains your art hobby. Later in life, if you art hobby "takes off", you can drop out of computer science and become an artist full time.

The point is: CS will give you a base that you can use for your entire life and keep you going, allow you to have a family or even be single and reasonably well off.

Usually I don't both with people who are feeling sorry for themselves, but I'm feeling nice this morning.

Go get a GED. Go to a community college and do your general studies. After two years, transfer to a state school and declare your major.

Oh, and don't post shit like this here anymore. This isn't a forum for people feeling bad for themselves.

Watch this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Up_Series

Might give you some relief and perspective.

> "what the fuck am I going to be when I'm 30".

I'm 30 now and I'm asking myself the same thing :) First of all, I think you need to take each step at a time, that's what I do, at least. Also, try having a not-job-related activity if you have the time, it can give you that extra feeling that a month-to-month paycheck or whatever cannot provide.

If it matters, I'm a CS college-dropout, I've been employed and able to support myself since 21, while all my friends only did that in their late 20s. So, on account of that, you're really way above the average in not relying on parents' supports, do not despair :)

Set some goals: 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, 3 years, 5, 10, lifetime.

Sometimes goals don't go as expected, but they will guide you and give you direction.

I was a lot like you at your age, I started my own computer games company without knowing how to program, learned it on the job. The company collapsed after a few years and I went to work for Apple... and so on... I now hold a computer science research position... and still don't have any degree other than a high school equivalence exam. It's all a matter of luck, enthusiasm and willingness to work hard.

Stop smoking weed. It might sound "uptight," but that is the first step you should take. I have done it myself, and I have seen it suck the ambition out of many of my friends. It is more harmful than you might initially think. I just was in bed in the hospital after surgery, and next to me was a chronic (weed) smoker (and occasionally cigarettes). He had to have his ribs pried apart and an operation done on his lungs because of the tar buildup. He had a 1.5 foot long scar on his back and was in immense pain -- not worth it. He was only 40 years old.

Exercise. It will reduce stress and increase your motivation to do well in other things.

Drink some caffeine - it will pump up your adrenaline, motivation, and wake you up -- and is not too harmful as far as drugs go.

Don't worry about school - you can get by without it. But you need to teach yourself - and the best way is to do that is...

Get passionate about something. If you are bored or without aim, you have too much free time on your hands. Build something. Build a game, an app, a website -- anything. Do whatever you have to do to pay your bills, but try to devote your free time to making something you are interested in.

No one is going to provide you the answer, as no one, except you, is able to know what you really want. I think it makes no sense to give you detailed recommendations, as there are few rather good ones already, so let me try to give you a slightly broader perspective.

Obviously, take all responses with a grain of salt, especially mine. No one, except you, is going to experience the wrong decision, and people tend to extrapolate their own experience too much. Let me reassure you, though, that things change. You are going reinvent yourself at least few times in the next decade, or so.

It's very easy to get trapped into thinking that you have to come up with the right decision about your future now. You do not have. You are very lucky you face it now, not ten years later, waking up one day with a mortgage, a well paid job you hate and no time for yourself.

What is really important, though, is to avoid any actions hard or impossible to revert. Specifically, I mean things like becoming seriously addicted to hard drugs, a marriage, a mortgage or a child (and, if you care, everyone will be better off because of a thorougful decision ;-)).

It's impossible to make an informed decision without, well, having some information. Feel free to experiment, as long as you keep in mind the previous point. Your really concious life counts only few years, and it is entirely possible that you have not experienced what you truly love, yet.

It's a cliche but try to follow your instincts, not social pressure or guilt imposed onto you. Everyone knows what is best for everyone, but, at the end of the day, no one will suffer, except potentially your family, from your depression if you decide to go against yourself. A healthly dose of egoism is healthly. You are a free man, and you can do whatever you fucking want, as long as you do not break the law.

When it comes to the drive, try to not confuse your temporary emotions and the long-term ones. Be especially warned about compensating what looks like an eternal unhappiness with other people or any substances. It ends up with junk food, drugs, and staying too long in an eventually destructive relationship.

On the other hand, do not underestimate what I call the instincts, the drive or the things you love. They sound naively, but are pretty powerful. After all, your days are already counted so it makes no sense to waste them because of being afraid not to.

Don't use the inevitable as an excuse. The future is going to surprise you. No one knows what is going to happen in next three, five or ten years. I mean, a decade ago the Internet was nearly non-existent, and journalism was considered a reasonable career. It gets even more puzzling on a microscale, like hurting other people with not meeting their expectations might be exacerbated.

And, with all that praise of listening only to yourself, be a good human being.

Well, I'm 22 and I'm worse off than you. BTW, great advice in the comments.

I hope steve blank's commencement speech gives you direction, like you he never finished high school.

at least your only 20 - i've lost EVERYTHING at 52 and have NO chance of every again living any semblance of a "normal" life. Non-degreed IT engr. with 20 yrs experience means dick these days - for some frickin reason everyone expects that if your into it you have a piece of sheepskin. wtf. i too am worried as to what will happen - but I'm not at home, and mere steps away from living on the streets. i can't catch a break, and all the gee-wiz kids (no offense, there are a lot of bright ones out there) are all up on the latest & greatest, whereas, I know 60-80% as much but being an old fart - I always get the cold shoulder. I hate my life, stay away from coding or move overseas since that's the only place you'll find a job in 3 years. fck america, fu* bush. now where's my fifth...time to get wasted and forget the misery.

Be where you are. Get a job, save money, do fun stuff with friends. Get outside. Draw. Paint. Travel, Learn guitar. Learn Spanish. Try a new sport. Join a group of some sort. Meet girls! Get outside your comfort zone, and get used to that feeling.

You'll have lots of chances to learn life's tougher lessons along the way - trust me.

At 20 I was a surf bum that had done very little post secondary. Have now completed a two year diploma from a technical school, a university degree, instructor certifications plus one season each of teaching windsurfing and snowboarding professionally, and I am now a self-taught designer/developer - Rails/Ruby/HTML/CSS. It took 11 years between age 20-31 to figure this all out, so be where you are.

Have fun right now, don't worry about anything.

I'm almost 40, married with 3 kids. I can't remember many of my mistakes at 20, but I can sure remember all the good, wild times.

Be (reasonably) reckless, and have fun discovering who you are, as an adult. Don't get tied down with any debt. Be frugal. Travel a lot.

Stability? Pfft. Stop worrying. I'm laughing at you worrying.

I had a friend in community college that was 26. He was a roadie until 24 or so and then got his life on track - so in my head you are relatively way, way ahead. Maybe it's not what you want, but you might consider going to community college with the intent to transfer to a four-year.