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I don't really understand what stops Tesla from putting 1 tiny dealership right next to the factory. Or even just a phone and a mailbox.
My understanding is Texas law prohibits them from running their own dealership
Yup. The purpose of these laws was to make sure that local dealerships remain open, providing local jobs. They don't want all the jobs going to Detroit (these laws were passed in the 1950s, when there was fear that the automakers would use their own dealerships to drive the local dealers out of business). So they made it illegal for automakers to sell cars retail.

It's similar to the laws making it illegal for you to pump your own gas (hello, Oregon!). Someone had a bright idea that by requiring that some service be performed, it will create more local jobs, even if you don't need or want to pay for that service. You may be able to do buy a car all on your own, but there is a web of state laws that says you are required to use a middleman.

Thought experiment: Could one incorporate a business, buy Tesla vehicles from Tesla, and then immediately hand them over to Texas residents with at cost markup? The only physical infra would be transport vehicles for hauling Teslas from Gigafactory Austin to buyer homes in Texas. One could even lease trailers and electric Class 8 Semis from Tesla if they were so inclined.
Why would you pump gas in a Tesla?
it’s an example of a similarly absurd law
As if there isn't ample ability to obfuscate things through a nonprofit, foreign corps, or other techniques.

This is the land of Enron after all.

Remember, Tesla isn't reluctant to start dealership franchises because of reducing consumer costs. It is 100% due to their aggressive any right to repair stance.

Most places have the laws that require any tools/diagnostics available to dealerships be made available to all. No dealerships, No tools. Tesla do not want you or 3rd party mechanics to fix your Tesla.

I remember a pushback conversation with someone in the auto industry about my belief that electric cars should have a service life twice as long as gasoline cars.

I think the difference of opinion boiled down to they believed manufacturers would be able to eliminate right to repair and thus enforce a 6 year service life on owners.

Another new car company tried the dealership route only to still get the same pushback. Its really not worth doing just to get into another legal battle about if they are doing dealerships correctly.

And Tesla is no longer alone in trying to change these laws, Rivian, Polestar, Lucid are all joining this battle and others are comming. The change is inevitable now. It make no strategic sense to totally switch your strategy for those few stats that are still holding out.