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Unfortunately, firefighting is kind of fun :(

At a previous job that had very stable infra, we'd joke that we should cause some production outages for fun because it was so boring when everything worked.

I see you've met a CMM 3+ process. They are great things to behold, not so much to be the bloke playing the part of a cog to execute on them though. Most OPS people I've met like the 3+ range of capability maturity.

Most software developers seem to operate best in a CMM1-3 range before getting bored. 1-2 is where there is always something new to learn from.

What’s the CMM process?
Speaking of "needing firefighters", my CPU needed one after visiting the author's current employer - something about that giant pile of JS-scroll-jank made my (outdated) Safari 11 try to allocate 25GB+ of RAM and consume every available CPU.

All to make a fake scrollbar that doesn't accelerate right, and some "cute" animations.

I’m super sorry to hear this. I am going to personally ensure we make a performance pass on the website. Thank you for reporting this.