Ask HN: It finally happened to me, how do you deal with burnout?
Hi everyone! As we all know this last year was rather stressful and due to some additional life events and pre-existing health issues it hit me a bit harder than most of my peers. I work as a data engineer and I'm rather green (4 years out of college), but I find myself struggling to focus or find the energy to work most days. I used to be so passionate about what I do and if myself 2 years ago saw the projects and responsibilities I have now, I'd squeal with glee. I know this is common in our field and I feel a bit stupid/guilty for it happening to me so soon in my career. Does anyone have any advice on overcoming this? Thank you guys in advance.
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[ 0.21 ms ] story [ 169 ms ] threadMyself after burning out from software, I spent a while working for Door dash and Uber, as well as a brief stint driving an NYC yellow taxi. Being able earn money without having to use and squeze allthe jucie out of my conscious mind so much all the time really helped.
It was also really interesting (I eventually got to have fun making spreadsheets to computer optimal strategies and stuff-- quite a lot of strategy involved in doing gig driving jobs really, your wage can be very different depending on your choices and insight into the local market)..... and honestly kind of chastening and disturbing, being on the "other side" of an app. When you work a gig app job, the app is your boss, and he's a shitty boss. A bug is just another jira ticket to a Dev but to an Uber driver a bug can mean losing significant revenue with no recourse and no human to persuade of anything. Such as an order just getting stuck and the app won't let you finish it or take another one and there's a long line for support. So now your shift is involuntarily over and, if it's the busiest part of day or week, you won't get that chance again for a few days. Permanently lost revenue.
Anyway, for a burntout software engineer I can't recommend this staretgy more. Just get a random job that does not involve staring at a computer and does not require a lot of education.
Boredom is the mother of inspiration.
That's what I found too. I could think about whatever I wanted while driving a bus. My mind became my own and not rented out to the highest bidder.
The good news it really helped and I am able to balance my job more effectively. The bad news is now am losing all of my money to tiny little plastic action figures and my wife keeps silently judging me because I am a grown man playing with army men. So maybe don't do tabletop gaming.
Other ideas (ymmv): Pets
Is this burnout? Or a transition from play to work?
* Treat sleep like it is your full time job. Aim to be in bed early enough you don’t need an alarm. THIS is the big one that will turn things around
* Eat well and exercise. This sounds trite but it’s very important. Cook meals rather than takeout. If you don’t have time for the gym, a 7 min bodyweight workout each day is easy and effective. Fit in walks
* Time. Burnout is basically breaking yourself. Doing the above and then just waiting will give your brain space to heal. But it takes a certain length of time
* Close loops. If you have stuff worrying you, handle it. Like, if the shower is leaky, get it fixed. Desk messy, clean it up. Don’t give your brain stuff to worry about
* Actively find relaxing stuff to do that actually relaxes you. Like some leisure is junk food and some refreshes you. Figure out which
I forgot to mention a few things:
* I found this app absurdly effective. Only used it like 3 times but it had a big impact: https://wuju.app/
* Square breathing helps. Inhale four seconds, hold four seconds, exhale four seconds, hold four seconds, repeat. Can do it as two second instead of four as well. Especially helpful if you feel stress.
* Pay attention for stress signs and process them. When I had some burnout it was like my stress response was oversensitive. So noticing I felt stress and either processing it (e..g someone cuts you off, you feel tension —> “They merely walked in front of me, relax, that is not a threat”) or using the breathing technique can help retrain your stress response.
Good luck! It does get better, just takes time and good habits.
Also random thing that helped once: consciously blowing off everything non essential and diving deep into Hades for a couple weeks. I think it was being totally focussed on a thing, and having a sense of progress, that helped.
Would not recommend as first step. Take care of small irritants and get good habits first. But then just totally letting go to some fun hobby can be an important part of the cure. For me it was Hades. For others it could be woodworking or pottery, whatever tends to immerse you.
Well said. More time off and/or WFH will not cure what a shitty lifestyle of going to bed late, eating badly and not exercising does to one's life.
Ironically, coming back to the office, has forced me to better choices than the ones I had when WFH. Even though I spend more time commuting and have less time to myself, I am getting more done now by sheer virtue of going to bed early, spending less on junk food cause I plan my lunches, have lost weight and have better stamina from just having to walk my ass off to and from train stations to get to work early.
More discipline will set you free. It sounds paradoxical but it does.
Personally, I use Sleepcycle, which allows you to select a 30 minute period you would like to be woken up. Additionally, it tracks your sleep and does it quite well. I also have 2 Hue lights that gradually turn on in the beginning of this 30 minute cycle. In the winter, I have a heater that begins warming my room up about an hour before I wake up. The combination of the light, heat, and sound slowly wakes me up and it has legit been life changing.
You don't have to do all that, but even just an alarm that gradually turns up the volume on a pleasant sound will do wonders for your mornings. Instead of jolting you awake, you will be gradually woken from your sleep.
I was camping the other week and a friend forgot to turn his phone alarm off and it was the most unpleasant morning experience I've had in years. I did not realize people still use those. Get a gradual alarm, you will thank me.
Sundays can be, er, alarming though! (Hint: at least, for someone not often awake in time to physically attend an early mass.)
For iPhone users this gradual alarm can be setup natively with the Clock/Alarm app. I now use it instead of Sleepcycle.
Unfortunately, after a while doing all the above and more, I realized my feelings towards my coworkers and company had nothing to do with burnout. Sometimes you realize everyone is miserably bad at their jobs and you don't want to keep dealing with an increasingly shitty work environment.
Another valuable thing is putting yourself in the position to be able to leave.
* cut back or cut out recreational drugs
Having a beer or six has a pleasant way of making problems tomorrow problems. But it's a vicious circle.
But as someone with trouble maintaining a steady sleep cycle, I totally support purposefully using an alarm like that as long as you have the bedtime sorted too. And once you know what full sleep feels like.
(Bedtime and a bed routine turned out to be the key for me and now my sleep cycle is regular enough)
Also think about what about your career/work that you enjoy. You could change something up, a change is as good as a holiday as they say - try a new company, an adjacent role, hell if you don’t like your responsibilities could you step down a rung on the ladder? (I’ve done that)
Take a good, hard look at your nutrition. Nutritional deficiencies or imbalances can cause all sorts of severe issues, including mental issues such as loss of focus and energy (and worse).
Regular exercise can help with energy, as can getting enough sleep. Make sure you're doing this.
Take a break and do something actually relaxing for a while.
Fortunately, it doesn't sound like you have really severe burnout (where you're severely depressed and absolutely hate and loathe what you do, and never want to do it again)... in which case I'd recommend switching careers, and the sooner the better. In your case it sounds like more like a mild case, where you have a good chance of getting back to work if you take care of yourself.
Still, I'd ask myself: is this really what I want to do in the long run? If not, you might want to start exploring other options... and the sooner the better. It's much harder to switch careers when you get older.
Seeing a therapist might be a good idea too... a real therapist, not one that reflexively fills your mouth with pills.
Health first, diet and exercise. Cut the sugar. Physical hobbies are a must.
Work after those are being handled.
Consider it an reinvestment, drop in productivity for a few weeks as your body gets used to it. Huge payouts later on.
Don’t feel guilt for paying technical debt. Same for health debt.
Was a bit bored but being able to pause and rest made a world of difference
People in the replies are saying "get a hobby", which isn't a bad idea if you find yourself over-working. Personally, my burnout is more like inability to initiate tasks and focus during the workday. I can go cycling or play video games no problem, any time, but work specifically is a huge barrier.
The only solution I've seen work is to take an extended break, and identify what about your work is burning you out. Do you need more autonomy? Do you need more guidance? Purpose? Connection with your coworkers? Personally, I realized I wouldn't ever use our product (it's very complicated for little benefit compared to the competition) and it has mountains of tech debt nobody cares about cleaning up, which has really killed my motivation. So I'm going to quit soon and take a few months to deliberately search for a company doing something that seems valuable/important.
Re: compensation, I think it's important to realize whether or not more money will make you happy. If you feel undervalued it might, but you might be chasing two rabbits trying to switch projects and get a raise simultaneously.
Personally I've made way above-market for the past 5 years, bought a house, and the only benefit is now I have a safety cushion so I can take time off to recover. I would have traded comp for a more fulfilling job, in retrospect.
Everything.
I'm certain that even astronauts are "over it" by the 3rd or 4th time they go to space. The key is seeking out orthogonal fields. Luckily with programming, there are so many of those that you're only limited by the human lifespan. Tired of crunching ML data? Try game programming. It's almost a completely different discipline, while still building on the things you know.
Are they though? I really can't imagine "burning out" on something I didn't find boring. And vice versa.
The rest of the advice seems to boil down to "take a break, then go back to the thing you were bored with". Not a great plan in my opinion. If you don't switch things up, you'll inevitably end up in the same place. Growth is the only option.
First, maybe it's not really burnout. Try taking a bit of vacation, hanging with friends, clocking a little less than 40 hours a week, sleeping eating and exercising better, or learning some new hobby. If that all does nothing, then you may have real burnout, which needs a more extreme solution.
1. Step back and unplug from the professional world for 6+ months. Do something totally new and orthogonal. Wait until you get thrilled at the prospect of joining a new team and only then get back into it.
2. Take a motivational inventory and see if there's anything with the power to continue to drive you in your current situation. You may want to talk to a therapist to work on some of this life goal stuff. I'd personally recommend someone who practices positive psychology or Logotherapy. If you find something in your current situation that has the spark, lean into it for all it's worth.
I've been there and back again a few times. It gets better if you work on it.
Turn of all computers, go outside, force yourself to "exist" without any stimulation like your cell phone, caffeine, alcohol etc. All of these things prevent us from experiencing boredom which means recovering from burnout takes longer.
Burnout is a normal part of the creative process and expect it to happen again.
If you don't have the savings, just start doing a worse job. Prioritize starting on time and leaving on time over everything else. Lean into using personal days whenever you feel like it. Push hard to get out of meetings that aren't valuable to you or add to your stress. Start putting money away so you can quit when you're ready. Start looking for a "life raft" job - something that isn't offensive and low stakes, just to get you out of your current gig. Doesn't have to pay well or really be interesting. Just get you out to a fresh start.
All the self-help in the world won't work if either you are not well-suited to the role you are in, and are therefore becoming stressed or otherwise the work environment/management is toxic and doesn't suit your personality or expectations.
Even when I am tired, I can get into my work because it inspires and challenges me and is within my ability level (but isn't too easy as to be boring).
In hindsight, for me burning out wasn't really about being tired or having carpal tunnel, it was an emotional exhaustion that was due to a complete misalignment between expectation and reality. Specifically, I was very disillusionment with what I was working on. If you're 4 years out of college, this is right around the time where many people become disillusioned. Your friends may be in the same boat, you can tell if you're seeing IG photos of your friends backpacking in Asia, launching some social impact startup, or taking a sudden interest in "authentic" activities such as baking bread. The point is, many people are experiencing the same thing.
What helped me was taking some time off from coding completely, and finding a more interest project to work on. Eventually you have to realize all stories about what tech or life could be are just that: fairy tales. You have to define your own whys and work from that. On a daily basis, what helped was to have another goal that I pursued with just as much focus, for me it is running. But the balance really helps. Meeting friends from different industry also helps, they make you see that your struggles are common, and what you're worried about is probably not worth it. Also, this might be the last time in your life where you can meet and form "real relationships" before the chill of adulthood really sets in, so treasure it.