Ask HN: What do you wish you did/ didn't do in your 20s?

Answering this question to me is like asking “if you could have different parents, who would you choose?”

I recently turned 40. I realized I was not the same person I was at 20. But because of who I was at 20, and the decisions I made, I created who I am now. Just like you might wish your parents were different people, not abusive, or didn’t have certain behaviors. Or maybe wish your mom had met another person. But then you wouldn’t be you?

So there is not a current “me” that I feel can really answer these kind of questions IMO

Beware survivor bias here. No-one regrets what they did well, but misses what they gave up to do well.

A very viable route is to spend the next 5 years maximizing your money and career. At 28 it is unlikely you'll regret options. (On that note, if you come from money, taking risks is the way to maximize your options).

I don't know if you have people (to talk to, rely upon, etc.). Most humans need to have people, if you don't have them then you should find some. In my experience this requires low level engagement over a long period of time, so there's no reason not to start early.

For reference, I'm 37 now.

First, I wish I didn't take my health for granted.

When I was 24 I gained about 40lbs. I had previously been very active, and I quit participating in some physical hobbies that kept me thin & fit.

Without paying it much attention, I gained those 40lbs and on and off have struggled with weight throughout my 30s.

Second, I wish I had also put a lot of thought into assets vs liabilities and focused on owning assets. It's a much better use of your money, and the time you spent earning that money. I "accidentally" purchased an asset (a bar) when I was 26, so I got lucky here, but I could have done much better.

Third, I wish I had been a better partner to some people I dated. I'm good in a lot of ways: I don't lie, cheat, call names, etc. But I'm stingy with my time. I've always been a loner, and it takes a lot of effort for me to act differently. But I believe it could have been worth it.

Fourth, and this isn't for everyone: I wish I had enlisted. I was fresh out of high school when 9/11 happened, and I've always regretted not enlisting. But the military and the activities they're involved with are very interesting to me.

Overall, it's hard to screw it up too badly, especially if you're asking questions like this one. Optimize for health and financial health and you will potentially save yourself much of the drama and suffering life can bring. Good luck!

I regret nothing, even bad things that happened were lessons. And without those lessons, good and bad I would not be where I am now. Of course if I was in a bad place now perhaps I would have regrets.

There are things I wish I did, but if I had done them my life may have been very different. I think once you have children it is hard to regret anything because that would have changed who they were entirely, either by having a different partner or a different egg/sperm.

The one thing I am glad I did was travel and work around the world for 3 years. I learnt more about life during that time than any other education or work could have given me.

Almost 50 now.

I wish I would’ve developed a more consistent exercise routine. It is easier to stay in shape than it is to get into shape.

I wish I would’ve invested much more than I did in index funds.

I wish I would’ve gotten over my materialism earlier in life. I never needed the latest phone or computer. Or the nicest monitor.

I wish I would’ve taken more risks.

That said, I ended up with a great life anyway.

A lot of people saying maximize wealth early. I did not do that. After university I worked a lot of low(ish) paid jobs and lived cheaply to save money to travel.I traveled and worked around the world for 3 years with my girlfriend (now wife). When we came home we were very much behind many of our friends who had started careers right out of university, but 20 years later there is very little difference in where we are. And in some respects we are better off. Once you start on your career there is little opportunity to take a long break and once you are married and having kids there is no opportunity. My brother took a break and travelled without working, but that was for only 4 months. A very different experience and was more of an extended holiday than anything else. The next time the opportunity to travel arises is post kids and probably in retirement if you are lucky. So you might start your career earlier but you Will never have the freedom and opportunities that you have as a young man/woman. You can sell your time for money but you can't buy it back.

One thing I agree with about others is exercise, just do it, make it routine. It will pay you back tenfold in years to come

Move to a high salary area and bank as much as you can, before moving on. It will set you up for life

Really glad I found a few all-ages communities and deep interests outside of my university friends and tech job.

Really glad I stayed in good shape. Maffetone, heart rate monitor, nutrition.

Really glad I kept eating omelettes when I could afford champagne.

Fitting in isn't cool anymore, now boundaries and niches are cool. Everything I regret is related to not getting that sooner.

The HN community mindset seems to be job, sideline, own company. I think what I have understood as I got older is that being an employee can have it's advantages. So ask yourself tough questions if you decide to do your own thing.

You will also find yourself feeling a little less ambitious in another 23 years time. Relationships will become more important. Don't lose friends in your 20/30s you will need later in life.

Finally, as well as the who you often look back at the wheres of your life. Travel, go on holidays, and visit other parts of the world.

Life's too short for bullshit. You know when you see it. Bad jobs that won't go anywhere. A relationship or commitment that your heart isn't into. Once you identify it, get out ASAP.

Find something that is exhausting but you'd rather not do anything else. For me, my sweet spot is in business growth, startups, user flow, modeling the real world into data, training (which melded well with working with NLP/AI).

It involves software a lot, especially being able to build things, but there's a lot of jobs that pay well but would be ultimately unfulfilling for me. Yours is probably different.

Some people call it passion, but the misconception is you won't be entirely passionate or dispassionate about a whole field. Rather there will be patches of interest that you hook on, like a mountain climber and handholds.