Ask HN: What do you do on the weekends?
I realized that I've been working too hard on my startup, so I decided to force myself to take weekends off.
I've found it to be a lot harder than I expected. Since I've lost touch with most of my friends and I am single, sometimes I'm at a loss what to do when I'm not working.
I'm 28, and not too excited these days about drinking or partying throughout the weekend. I have a side-hobby (jiu jitsu) but I usually do it on the weekdays just before I get started on my work.
I find myself wanting to read a book on compilers, or think about marketing or something startup-related, but I force myself not to do those things, since it seems too work/tech related.
So I'm wondering, what do you guys do on your time off? How do you achieve that work-life balance?
74 comments
[ 3.2 ms ] story [ 145 ms ] threadI realize this isn't directly relevant since you're currently single, but... I spend time with my wife and son. In your case, try to reconnect with close friends you've lost touch with, call your dad/mom/brother/sister etc...
Another idea is to get outside, do some walking/hiking/cycling/swimming... This can be a bit of a beast during the hot summer months depending on your location; it's usually cool in the mornings pretty much anywhere though.
It's hard to re-learn relaxation but it's a worthwhile endeavor!
Keep training jiu jitsu, maintain social relationships, chase girls (or boys or whatever) and make sure you allocate time to keeping yourself healthy - physically, mentally and emotionally. For most people that means a social network (not the facebook kind) to keep you grounded.
Otherwise, pick a hobby, preferably one that is social but where you won't be tempted to spend escalating time on it. Sports league, dance, improv, whatever.
Seriously. I sleep.
Physical activities are good, they keep you busy and your mind sharp. I have personally tried to establish a resolve to work myself to pieces on weekends in some form of activity or another, and it's been paying off.
I have tried a month ago dating, but that didn't work out and I gave up too quickly. I'd be interested to know if anyone has a solution for that.
Very few people have the kind of personality that allows them to naturally develop friendships with the type of people they prefer to be around. Given that, it's basically up to you to find activities/work/etc that puts you in "social proximity" with the kind of people you want to have in your life.
Lots of playing on the floor, going to the park, cooking, and that sort of thing.
It's a reasonably good life though I sometimes envy you single, childless guys for the enormous number of hours you get for yourselves. You think you know. But you really have no idea just how much time you have right now. Enjoy it
So from that perspective here's my advice. Do all the stuff you can't do when you have kids. Have lots of sex. Go on spur-of-the-moment day trips. Stay up late and sleep all day. Take flying lessons, or dancing lessons,or whatever. Seriously work towards ticking off items on your bucket list. Don't just sit around though because as soon as you have kids your combined disposable income, free time, and social flexibility shrink to a thousandth of a percent of what you have now (that's only a small exaggeration
Boy, there's a self-defeating setup if I ever saw one. <g>
If you're reading the compiler book because you love to do that, I don't see the problem. Free time is for doing anything you want to, as opposed to things you need to because of obligations. If you love thinking about startups, do that. Work-life balance only needs to be considered when you feel like all you do is work.
I always joke that I'd do 80% of my job for free (as long as the people I'm joking with don't work for the company that employs me).
I liken it to architecture/building: The day job is designing and overseeing a great McMansion. In the end, it's pretty nice, but a lot of the time is tied up in passing inspections. On the weekend, my kids (...and me) have the most amazing tree-house ever imagined.
There's nothing wrong with reading a book on compilers or thinking about your startup's marketing campaign, but I think it starts to become wrong when that's all you do. Being single isn't necessarily a bad thing either. I mean, it isn't the greatest thing all the time, but that all depends on how you're looking at it.
Anyway, if you think it's fun to just sit around and read then by all means do that. Don't think you have to do something else. By the looks of it though, you don't think it's fun. It seems like you're forcing yourself to think it's fun because everything else seems scary or too difficult to do. Don't just work all day everyday. You'll just burnout and be worse off then you are now.
This isn't your standard answer, but I figure I'd give you a perspective from someone on the outside wanting to get on.
I recommend finding a group for something unrelated to your work but that you are still passionate about or at least find interesting. For me it's geeking out about movies and eating morning Dim Sum.
It's also nice that it "pops the bubble" a bit and reminds you that other people may not interact quite like you do at work. People still poke fun at me when I say I'll "ping" them about next sunday.