Ask HN: I'm burnout but I cannot afford to stop working. What next?

I have been in a similar position, where I felt like standing with my back to a wall and no longer having the energy to deal with the stress of changing anything about my condition.

Now looking back, I think I could have faired better if I would have had a different attiture towards my job. I have come to realize that my hardest struggles are not with the environment but with myself: How I think about myself with respect to the situation I am in.

I hope that this meager reply can be of some help to you.

can you try transitioning with your current employer?

If you aren't already doing it, you should start a cardio and weight lifting routine. If you really whip yourself into shape, then you'll feel like superman, and then you'll be able to handle almost anything. I'd spend the time and effort to right your ship before you go looking for a different job. Taking any new role is typically a big challenge, and you're not up to the task at the moment.

* Have a back up plan. For example I have a second part time career in an unrelated industry. That second job can always become full time employment if the primary employment falls apart. It doesn’t pay quite as much but it pays enough to cover my bills and is a viable option.

* Know how to pivot. Identify what about your career feels negative and redirect those concerns. Talk to your management and express potential solutions. For example I believe many coding products at work are low quality. My boss has asked me to put together training opportunities and I am also working on test automation solutions.

* Write. Take superior notes that benefit not just you. My experience as a corporate developer has shown me developers can always actively improve their writing skills. Better writing skills allow for solutions that aren’t possible through code alone.

* Take a break. There are many blessings to working from home. I can play computer games for 20 minutes every couple of hours to clear my head and refocus on work. If I am tired I spent time in my garden or with my cats/dogs. It really doesn’t take much of a purposeful distraction to make you feel better.

* Don’t get bored. The corporate job doing the same beginner stuff over and over gets old, especially when that means repeating past failures. I try to bring superior solutions into work to prevent the same kinds of problems from repeating. Those solutions can be training, automation, documentation. For me, I like working on side projects that solve problems other people are less interested in solving.

* Take care of your health and get out of the house/office. I try to run 3-4 miles several times a week. Staying healthy helps you focus and lowers depression.

Find what backup job you are willing to do, then get that part time job.

Prob retail. Not sure what else exists.

Ask for a transfer of jobs or departments or duties.

They'll say no or just can't help.

Then try to power thru or get fired or quit or have a heart attack or worse.

Its a shit situation.

New tech job could help too.

But lower end jobs tend to be much more stressful for even less money.

This is going to sound crazy. But it works. Go for a long walk (1 hour) and talk to yourself out loud. Ask yourself how you feel, why you feel the way you feel, explain to yourself what you truly think about your work, relationships etc. Be totally honest with yourself. Make sure you do this away from people so they don’t think you are crazy :-) The trick is to be two people. Yourself asking the questions and yourself answering them as honestly as possible.

Don’t know your situation in details but i would say that the main problem is that you feel like you’re in a bind.

As in: you feel you can’t afford to not work financially, but mentally you feel you can’t afford to continue working.

These are contradictory so one of these two needs to give. So there are two ways out of this:

1. You mentally can’t afford to work, so you should make it possible to quit/take sabbatical. Ask Parents/friends for help. They may host you for a bit, and not paying for housing will cut your expenses by a lot. Or maybe you have some savings you may tap into. This is what savings are for. Don’t bargain your mental health for cash. Moving to cheaper areas / countries is also a way. Like a sabbatical in thailand will cost you much less than living in the bay. You may also work in a farm abroad or something, they pay for your housing / food and you work for them while traveling. I think there are plenty of options there.

2. You financially can’t afford to not work, so you need to make it possible to work without deteriorating your mental health. Stick to the bare minimum. Tell your boss you moved 1.5 hours from work, so you need to leave at 5pm to feed the cats or whatever. It will feel you betray your coworkers, but when they start to also leave at 5pm (including your boss) they’ll be more grateful than angry at you. I have seen this pattern several times. If they fire you, you’ll get unemployment benefits.

My personal opinion, but again I don’t know your situation, is that it is very rare to be in a financial situation so dire that you absolutely can’t stay off work. I know some people who have jobs paying more than 50k/y, some savings, and still actually fear ending up in the street if they lose their jobs. It’s the way the job market works. Get people to fear/despise joblessness and exploit the shit out of them. In facts people are pretty resilient to hardship. Don’t fall for that trap. You’ll be more happy in a worse neighborhood not doing anything than in a shitty job.

Anyways, not sure all of these apply to you, but, yes I guess the important is to realize where the knot is...

Good luck!

How long have you worked in this position?

How many hours a week do you work there?

What do you hate about it?

I am/was in a similar situation. A few tips to get through your day:

* Identify one key item you want to accomplish. Once you finish it you are off the hook for the day. Limit it to one item per day only. * Have a hard-stop per day e.g. No work after 6pm. * Have a recharge routine. Everyday I pick from meditation, a walk or workout. * Plan something fun after work like a movie, show etc. Mindlessly binging on the internet as I attempted to forget about my day left me more exhausted and defeated. In covid-times, it is hard to plan a meaningful fun activity but a little intentionality goes along way.