Submitted here because I can't email from my work computer

This thing where people say "Please don't speak to me again except through Renee" is hampering our ability to do business. As elected councilmembers, it is our responsibility to be available to communication from both residents, owners, and other councilmembers. If we're not, it becomes impossible to do our jobs.

Cooling off periods are necessary sometimes. Having a third party witness for a conversation that might get heated is also a good idea. Having emotionally loaded conversations via email or text is nearly always a bad idea. Acknowledging all these realities, I suggest the following, which is of course open to amendments.

First, the private emails chiding someone for their conduct in a meeting should not happen, ever. Such complaints should be added to the agenda and aired in front of everyone. The emails that I saw last night, reprimanding Alexa and Sarah, were inappropriate.

There was a strong implication that the author was speaking on behalf of council, or at least on behalf of Karin, when that was definitely not the case.

Second, the emails where someone publicly asks another councilmember not to speak to them again except through a third party are very confrontational. I understand the shock of finding an angry email in your inbox and the desire to prevent that from happening. But these "don't talk to me again" broadcast emails seem to be weaponized. I don't think we should do that anymore. We don't have a higher authority to appeal to. Renee is not our mom, she is our employee.

Instead, I suggest this phrasing.

"The current conversation is becoming too heated for email. Can we meet in person with another councilmember present?"

I suggest ending the email at the point, and resisting the temptation to add more personal attacks or digs.

If each party cannot, in good faith, meet face to face and have a genuine conversation to work through their problems, then I respectfully suggest that they are not temperamentally suited to this role, and should withdraw from council. I don't say this lightly - council is a lot of work and it's hard to get volunteers, and we all worry that no one else will step up if one of us steps down.

Even so, it's not worth it to anyone's mental health to stay in a relationship or role where they can't function and communicate with their team.