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The headline seems misleading, and tilted towards iphone.

"cheap" and "pessimist" both have negative connotation.

And "cheap" is actually worded "prefer saving their money", which doesn't seem as bad.

What about

Android: "18% more likely to have equally strong mathematical and verbal aptitude" "36% more likely to not remember their last vacation"

iPhone: "11% more likely to have a stronger verbal aptitude" "15% more likely to have vacationed in the last six months"

How about: "Androids are for hard-working math-savvy people, iPhones are for innumerate lazy people"

I do not own a smart phone.

(comment deleted)
I'm genuinely disappointed that this link actually made it past TechMeme and HN. It kind of exemplifies everything that made me quit reading the TechCrunch feed -- the smug bias, the obvious link-bait troll title, and the sloppy conclusions from dubious data.