Ask HN: How do I stop hating my job?
I hate my job. It's a combination of the usual complaints from people working in businesses with IT as a cost center and the company repeatedly ignoring/breaking it's own policies.
I'm looking to switch but not finding anything better. I'm also looking to change teams internally.
How can I can I stop hating my current job/role?
64 comments
[ 3.0 ms ] story [ 127 ms ] threadThere is no objective criteria for whats too high. It's something you have to feel out on a case by case basis for everything in your life. What are your expectations for your spouse? Your career goals? Your children?
What you are going through is the same as what a lot of others too have gone through. It is nothing new but since everybody's circumstances are different, you have to find your own unique solution.
Here is my suggested strategy;
* Don't quit your job but take some time off to work through your issues and clear your head. Make it a week at the minimum even if you lose some pay.
* Sit down, calm your mind and write out the following;
* Work on projecting confidence and strength when interacting with others even if you don't feel like it. We are Animals at the fundamental level and can pick up on the slightest of weaknesses in the other. The problem is that we act on this unconsciously to our perceived advantage even if we don't mean to. For example, somebody else mentioned about self-esteem issues based on a single line in your profile. If you don't value and respect yourself, why should others?. You have to demand respect, status etc. i.e. you must stamp your individuality in all interactions. Straighten your posture, look people in the eye and speak confidently.* There will always be people better than you. So if you evaluate your worth based on comparisons with them only, you will always look the loser. Stop comparing yourself to others and only compare to your previous and earlier self. For example, Have you evolved for the better from "yesterday's you" w.r.t. knowledge of something? That is enough.
* Finally, read The Enchiridion (aka The Handbook) of Epictetus and try to apply it to your life as much as possible - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enchiridion_of_Epictetus Here is the first para broken down;
- Of things, some are in our power, and others are not.
- In our power are opinion, desire (movement towards a thing), aversion (turning from a thing); and in a word, whatever are our own acts:
- Not in our power are the body, property, reputation, offices (magisterial power), and in a word, whatever are not our own acts.
- And the things in our power are by nature free, not subject to restraint nor hindrance: but the things not in our power are weak, slavish, subject to restraint, in the power of others.
- Remember then that if you think the things which are by nature slavish to be free, and the things which are in the power of others to be your own, you will be hindered, you will lament, you will be disturbed, you will blame both gods and men:
- But if you think that only which is your own to be your own, and if you think that what is another’s, as it really is, belongs to another, no man will ever compel you, no man will hinder you, you will never blame any man, you will accuse no man, you will do nothing involuntarily (against your will), no man will harm you, you will have no enemy, for you will not suffer any harm.
"Every unhappy software developer is unhappy in the same way, every happy software developer is happy in a different way."
That is, it is a lot of work to find a situation you are happy in or (conversely) figure out how to be happy in the situation you are in.
Take a look at this classic book
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3650010-have-fun-at-work
I've filled the role of tech lead and senior dev on past teams, but without a raise or promotion. I'm also the security champion for my team. On my prior team I was the security champion for an application spanning 6+ teams over 2 departments. I'm still a midlevel dev. I dont see why I should continue to work above my level with no reward.
Also, I can't put in a ton of extra hours do to home life constraints.
You're doing a lot more work, but never got paid for it. Doesn't hurt to ask, or go get an offer from another company and use it as leverage if you want to stay at your current company.
The key for me in that situation is to identify what it is that I am most unhappy about. Is it a particular individual who makes your life hell? Is it that they enforce their own policies unfairly? Or do you feel like you are wasting your life at tasks you do not enjoy?
The answers will inform your decision about a course of action.
Thanks! It's definitely these two. They don't just enforce the policies unfairly, they actually do the complete opposite of the policies. I'm tired of being on a treadmill going nowhere.
My problem is that none of my colleagues can do anything and I can do everything. With my qualification it would be easy to find outside. And that's year for year with changing colleagues - and I don't get a raise, not in these crazy times right now. Nor before. Stupit.
But, I have some benefits, like stand up in the morning and write a Whatsapp message if everyone is ok with me taking day off, or, the hierarchy is very flat with every one working on their own .
So I try to see the good side of the job. Don't you have good times, too? Some days are really productive, some sucks. In the end of the day, I think about what have I done and what needs to be done "tomorrow.." (procrastinated). On the next day, I'm happy with finishing all that, and, again..what need to be done tomorrow..
So it's stress. But a "good" one. Do you sometimes have that moment of feeling good after some difficult situation, too?
I think the weights are towards the negative with you. Not the usual hokus pokus esotericus - but, buy that Lapislazuli and put it 3 times a day near your stomach!
No, joke. Try to see the positive aspects in what you do. Don't care about the others. You have to assume that the others are lazy and stupid, but also you do have to realize that in the eyes of other's you're lazy and stupid, too. By that it's easier to understand the fault's, errors, decisions - after all it's human. Some are really crazy.. and a friend of mine once told me he thinks I'm strange. I don't see that in my self observations :)
That will the beginning..
don't be toxic. See no toxic. Don't become toxic. (Chuck Norris)
might start with self-esteem... if you think you're not worthy you'll end up in the same place/job/situation again
Try setting artificial goals, just to make your tasks interesting. Like, doing it super fast. Or automating as much as possible.
If you’re working from home, try learning something new on company time. Before you downvote me for suggesting something unethical, remember a lot of people browse Facebook at work. Even browsing HN at work can be considered unethical too!
Unless your company is working on something noble (like a cancer vaccine or something like that), it is probably just another commercial place to make a handful of people rich at the expense of many. So don’t get attached to your job, it is just a way to put food on the table.
You've already tried to improve your current position, and it seems like that hasn't gone well and is leading to you losing interest and focus.
Get a new job.
In particular, I'd suggest getting a job at a software company rather than as a company where IT is a cost center. While this isn't a magic bullet, I think you're more likely to have a better experience at a company where software dev (and associated roles like QA, build engineering, Devops, etc.) are at the core of what the company does.
Learn to ignore "policies", and only pay attention to what people actually do, what works, and what gets rewarded.
I'm assuming you have things in mind for the job you want. Do the bare minimum for what you're assigned, then volunteer to do the parts you actually want to do. Even if they're going to get thrown out or not implemented, at least you get to work on something you like and get a new resume bullet.
By feeling like you're getting some form of professional advancement, you might hate every day a little less.
I've done this and they punished me for it. They want you to be doing a lot of regular stuff and they don't care about the extra.
As well, it’s worth checking how their feedback mechanisms work for how they know what you’re doing, and then making adjustments to your working style to give the right signals while doing better work.
While applying for new jobs, because it’s clearly a bad situation.
Jobs are like anything else, if you start hating it, it's best to leave, because it won't change. Yes I've been in this situation. Yes I should have left.
Also I would ask do you have an 3-6 month emergency fund? If so then I would simply say leave now, like right now. Take the holidays off to brush up your resume and start your new job hunt. If this job is crushing your professional self esteem there is zero chance it isn't negatively impacting your family. Children pick up on everything and will pay more attention to what you do than say. You are showing them that you are unworthy of being treated well, thereby they will start to internalize that they too are unworthy.
I don't want to leave until I have something better lined up. Supposedly this place is one of the best companies to work for, so I don't want to be pressured to take a worse job if I don't have income.
Part of the problem is that software dev just absolutely sucks, a lot of the time.
Yep, this is what I've been seeing a lot of...even for the internal job postings that require a code screen.
I have been in your position before. Burnt to a crisp, bitter and angry every morning I logged onto that God forsaken Slack workspace. My biggest regret is not knowing I could have jumped ship as soon as they asked me to work Saturday and Sunday ... again. Do me a favor and do the best for yourself!
Find another job and get fired. Get paid on both ends.
If your day to day is bad or the pay is not enough, change job. If you hate something else about your job which is not about yourself (people don't value engineers, unfair things happen), you may benefit from stop worrying about things that don't concern you. You can even joke about how bad things are. Some of the funniest times in my career were in failing startups I had no shares in.
Once you mastered that and you're nice and calm, you can even try to manage upwards, point out the problems and solve them - but you should be detached from the problem, as if it were an algorithm you're writing to solve a gnarly problem. No need to get upset.
Consider getting a job with s country with better engineering salaries so you can earn more money and be treated better. I'd go with States, UK or Switzerland. In the past you would have likely needed to relocate, nowadays it may just work.
Just apply to some companies abroad.
What is your skill set? Finding a new job can be hard, with a bit more information we might be able to provide some advice on this front.
1. Figure out how other companies are solving the problem FileNet or Neoxam solves for your company. Make some forum posts, ask in chat channels, or find people IRL who might know this.
2. Apply to those jobs at those companies. You may need to show some proficiency in the software they're using or get some certifications. This can be tricky, but again rely on the people at those companies to figure that out.
Or you could learn something different. I'm a software developer so I could answer any questions with regards to getting a coding job. Find what you want to do, talk to the people that do it, then follow their footsteps.
It's not easy though. Being stuck with experience that isn't very marketable is a tough spot to be in. Good luck.