Ask HN: What is something important I should start doing in my 20s?

71 points by saaspirant ↗ HN
Something I should do in my 20's which will have good impact on my future. Also things I should NOT to do in my 20's. I am looking for all types of stuff - personal, professional, etc.

Thanks

159 comments

[ 4.6 ms ] story [ 254 ms ] thread
Crunches. When you hit your 30s it's like your body just doesn't care anymore and explodes in size unless you take care of yourself.
Crunches builds abdominal muscle but body weight is affected only by cardio.
Body weight is affected mostly by what you eat. Muscle mass from lifting is a great way to stay lean. Cardio helps too.
Hate to be that guy, but that's wrong.

Body weight is determined by calories in vs calories out. Eat less calories than you burn, body weight goes down, eat more, body weight goes up.

Body composition is determined by exercise and diet. Lift weights and get enough protein, muscle mass increases. Run marathons and don't get enough protein, muscle mass decreases.

In general, compound movements like squats, deadlifts, pullups, presses etc should be preferred over isolation movements like crunches. Crunches are kind of a pointless exercise, even for working out your abs.

You cannot change the latter without having some effect in the former because of basic mathematics of ratios.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news but what you are saying here is for the most part only correct for a very small subset of the population.

Your current weight is a functional aggregate of the surplus calories which consists of many factors that can't immediately be measured (yet). The "Calories in, Calories out" belief which is based on very sketchy evidence (i.e. try tracking down where that came from some time) breaks down for anyone suffering from chronic obesity.

Body Composition - (i.e. Body Fat percentage), is determined by exercise, diet, and overall health which may include factors like inflammation (allergies), liver function, vitamin levels, thyroid levels, whether they have been poisoned (lead, mercury) etc).

Most people have one or more of these issues and metabolism is dynamic. It can speed up or slow down based on gene expression which is often influenced in part by exercise but mostly food (diet).

The assumptions you make about exercising aren't necessarily true when you have a health factor and that may not be immediately determinable, or even diagnose-able in some cases. I've known quite a few people that were picture perfect health medically (according to tests) except for uncontrollable weight gain, and had to go through multiple strict elimination diets to identify the culprits.

Some people will simply gain weight regardless of the calorie count if they are sensitive to a type food (or additive like canola/soy oil). There are tons of additives in commercial food these day that aren't even necessarily listed.

As an example, commercial pork doesn't brown correctly when cooked compared to meat you spice and grind yourself and its not MSG. Pork you grind and cook yourself looks almost like the light brown of a breaded chicken steak, compare that with the dark browning you get from commercial pork breakfast sausage.

Body conditioning is important, but exercise plays a very small role compared to overall diet. I know people that have gone on 800-1000 calorie/day diets (medically supervised) for half a year and consistently maintained or even gained weight so the whole idea of calories in calories out is just ludicrous.

Do you worry about chemtrails too?
Some sort of investing.. it compounds over time, you only need to put a little bit in each time but do it consistently.
Travel when you’re young.

Get a working holiday visa in Canada, australia, Japan or UK. Go live.

Wonder if they'll raise the age limit past 30 due to Covid locking down borders for almost 2 years
I wouldn’t be surprised if they do. Australia is desperate for foreign skilled labour and I am sure Japan and New Zealand are similar. You will need to wait till early 2022 for easy entry into any of these places.
My biggest regret about college is not studying abroad for a semester (if you can afford it). What an amazing experience. Since then I’ve done some vagabonding abroad but that’s a much tougher sell to most people.
see a doctor about adhd or similar sources if trouble if applicable. try many things. lift barbells. become a quant fund. get married.

don't spend 4 or more years in college unless you need it for immigration reasons. if you do end up doing this sort of thing, use it as a time to cultivate lifelong friendships with worthwhile people.

Start saving for retirement. Every $100 you can put in to your retirement savings per month will come back to you at least 30-40 times over when you retire at 65 or may be even earlier.
it doesn't seem responsible to promise people 9% returns in perpetuity!

a lot of the time this advice is given to people who are paying higher rates on debt, which also seems troubling.

That's a very good point about debt. If you have any debt where the interest rate is above a reasonable investment rate of return, pay off that debt before putting money toward retirement.

Speaking of debt (to more directly answer OP's question), pay off your credit card, in full, every month. If you can't do that, you need to adjust your lifestyle downward until you can.

A 30-fold return is achievable with just over 7 percent average return after 5 decades. No guarantees of course but with diversified investments it's probably not much of a stretch. Stock Market crashes have typically recovered relatively quickly and continued on up.
Get married, have multiple kids.
Finally some real advice. Go out, meet people, fall in love. I had my first child at 30. Would have been a lot easier at 25
>Would have been a lot easier at 25

What do you mean?

Kids are hard and time is cruel. My oldest will remember his grandparents, my youngest will barely remember his grandmother as an old lady who couldn’t talk right. Where my wife bounced back from the first child, it was a lot harder seven years later with the second.

Just having the energy and stamina to keep up with your kids is hard, gets harder as your body slows down, and gets really hard when your parents get older and have their own health problems. My mother-in-law went from being able watch the kids when we needed to, to no longer being able to drive because of a stroke and needing to be taken to therapy three times a week.

Sounds like none of it would've been a problem if you hadn't had kids? Were your 20s, without kids, not better than your 30s with kids but with all these self-imposed problems?
IF you are going to have kids, having them younger is better is my point. Are kids worth the trouble? - that is for you to decide.
True. Having children is the most meaningful thing anyone can do in their life.
Or not! Not everyone can have or will have kids. Your life can be awesome without marriage. Your marriage can be awesome without kids.
Something that greatly helped me was understanding the concept of theory of mind [1]. As soon as I learned about the concept and really understood it and successfully started practicing it I became a much better communicator and listener and it helps in nearly every situation involving humans, be it work, personal, or anything else.

[1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind

Don't be afraid to experiment, but "partying" should be kept to a minimum and only for socializing. Also, avoid debt as much as you realistically can. If you're taking out loans for school, don't be afraid to pick up a flexible part time job doing retail or waiting tables (this helped me keep my student loans much lower than they could have been). Source: personal experience
Totally agree. It is a trap to spend heaps when you earn a lot (compared to the average for your society). Living beyond your means can quickly become a compounding problem.
Warning: focusing on your retail job during school to reduce loans is a local optimization, not a global one. Minimum wage is low and a high salary can make very short work of loans. Study hard and work even harder on your internships. Career relevant experience is king.

Debt is a tool and nothing to fear if you know how to use it. Many fortunes have been made with debt. Many lost as well.

And the drugs, yeah that's pretty spot on. Careful with those.

> Debt is a tool and nothing to fear if you know how to use it.

The key is knowing that you're using a tool. It seems to me that many people just start borrowing, the same way they suddenly start being attracted to the opposite sex. "Oh, it's just a mortgage, and house prices go up." "It's just my second credit card, of course I can pay it off in three weeks."

Good debt is a conscious decision, made when there's a strategy, not as a default path. Overall, it seems prudent to ask people in general to not go into debt, so they are more willing to think it through. Rather than just going with the flow because the store clerk said "you can walk out of here with both the jewelry and a credit card with a $20k limit!"

I partied quite hard and I don't regret that.

It can obviously be a bit hard on the body and you should avoid getting addicted to alcohol or other substances, but I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with it..

Same & Agreed. Be aware of what you're doing, and make sure you can realistically be sober 10 out of every 14 days. Dependence/Addiction needs to be avoided at all costs.
Personally, the amount of substances I need to consume in order to enjoy a party is inversely proportional to the quality of the party. After some time it's easy to tell which ones make you happy and which ones just leave you dehydrated and feeling bad. I believe it's about a right mixture of good friends and unknown individuals that makes it tick.
> you should avoid getting addicted to alcohol or other substances

This is basically what I'm referring to. I had a lot of fun partying and I think it was a great way to network and to mature socially, However, I admit that I did have a couple scary moments in that I almost died from doing too much, or I realized I was addicted and had to go through a period of withdrawals.

In my opinion partying that makes you happy should be kept at maximum in your 20'. That doesn't mean you should overconsume alcohol and substances. Go out, meet new people, have fun. Travel and party at various places around the world. Experience.

I was a hardcore party type in my 20'. Some say that I overdid it but I have no regrets. I am now in my 40' and still party.

Hire a trainer and learn how to weightlift. You may have been a nerd like me that thought weight lifters were wasting time on vanity, but as you age your body will betray you. You need to learn how to stay fit or you will end up with myriad health issues and end up unhappy.

A trainer is essential for a new lifter. It is easy to hurt yourself, and you need to work on good form for years before it becomes second nature. You will look good (you won't look like a meathead), feel good, and your bones and heart will stay strong into middle age as your peers get fat and unhealthy.

How about cardio activities? I think those contribute more to getting rid of unhealthy fat and cholesterol, but I may be wrong.
Both are important. My elderly father's doctor recommended he start lifting weights. My father already gets a reasonable amount of aerobic exercise, but they do different things for the body.
I think both are important. I love running and started it first but ended up injuring myself and couldn't run for a number of years. Lifting fixed the issues I had and allow me to run consistently. The body you build with weight lifting is, in my opinion, a more aesthetically pleasing one as well.
It's a bit of a "how long is a piece of string" question which is why it's helpful to sit down with a professional to get a plan together.

If I did cardio instead of weightlifting I would waste away. I do also ride bikes for fun so I do get some cardio.

For many, cardio is also boring as hell, and weightlifting is a better long term solution as you are more engaged and motivated.

I was given The Barbell Prescription[1] by a friend for my 40th birthday.

It is pretty thorough in suggesting why weightlifting (or rather; resistance training) is more important than endurance/cardio. In summary: they train different muscle types, and the anaerobic types age worse than e.g. the heart, so it's better to focus on that. They do suggest that you complement it with some cardio exercise, but it's a side gig rather than focus.

[1] https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/34823846-the-barbell-...

I've not heard of this, thanks for the recommendation
Thanks for this recommendation. I'll check that out.
Ideal would probably be a mix of resistance training, maximal intensity-metabolic conditioning work (sprints/HIIT/plyometrics), and low intensity steady state cardio (i.e. zone 2, cardio at the pace.you can hold a conversation). Each has unique benefits.
I second this. I started weightlifting this autumn. Attended a course at the local weightlifting gym and now trying to train 3 times a week and at least once a week with a trainer. My back pains are gone, posture is better than ever and it has also improved my mental health and self esteem. It's an addicting sport, but boy it's hard in the beginning :)
I agree with the weightlifting but honestly most trainers are garbage and most reasonably smart people would do equally well just finding good resources on youtube and making an effort not to be a dumbass.
I think you can distinguish between "trainer" and "strength coach", and should prefer the latter.

Going to 24hour Fitness, and getting training sessions from those folks...not worth.

Finding a strength coach at a powerlifting/weightlifting gym...probably worth.

I always avoided exercise and sports...a lot of the reason was I never played sports when I was younger, and by the time I got to HS I was literally a decade behind my peers in basic skills (passing, dribbling, shooting, etc.)

When I finally started strength training seriously, it was eye opening. I wasn't far behind, and it was easy to see progress. Putting 5lbs on the bar, every time you squat, 3x a week, for 10 weeks, is pretty encouraging, and pretty obvious.

Lifting, triathlon, marathon, cycling - any sport, really - with a good trainer. You’ll get fit, you’ll have fun and you’ll gain a sense of accomplishment. Especially the endurance sports also tend to have a strong spiritual impact on people as it really exposes your strengths and weaknesses, can be very similar to meditation etc. The role of the trainer is to keep you moving at a reasonable pace towards whatever your goals might be without hurting yourself.
A trainer can be amazing but I wouldn’t call it necessary, especially for someone young. They can get expensive and the op would get a lot of value from starting weight lifting imperfectly now than potentially waiting years to be in the financial position to hire a coach. There’s so many fantastic resources online. Just stay away from Olympic style lifts and be careful with compound movements.
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Definitely start with a trainer. They can enforce good technique and give you the basics of nutrition and mesocycle planning. I personally regret not starting with a trainer, as I'm now fixing issues that I reinforced because I didn't have the proper external feedback.
As an anecdotal counterpoint of the 10ish people that I knew that started lifting in their teens and early twenties not a single one had a trainer. Preventing injuries through proper form is the main benefit of a trainer and everyone stayed fairly injury free.

You don't need to hire someone to explain good nutrition, sleep, etc. Does it help? Absolutely. But necessary? No. There's so much amazing content on the internet. Especially when you see how little training the average personal trainer is required to undergo. Someone truly competent will run you close a $100 an hour.

Implying people need to start with a trainer is pointlessly exclusionary.

When I started training I couldn't afford a gym membership so primarily did bodyweight training at home, so a trainer was just completely off the radar as an option.

Sure, once I could afford the gym I could train a lot better, and the may have neen true if I could afford a trainer on top, but I couldn't.

'get a trainer' is proxy for 'get a form check', which is fair advice to prevent long term injury.

There are many beginner friendly lifting resources online, and communities who will help you review videos of your lifts without needing a specific trainer.

"Get a form check " is definitely good advice and if that's all the person I responded to said I would have agreed with them.
Therapy - learn how you think, learn where your blind spots, implicit assumptions, and tendencies are. Learn this before you learn you need it.

Exercise - helps you think better, helps you feel better, helps you emotionally. Find something you like doing - I do power lifting and yoga - and get in the habit of doing it daily.

Explore - odds are your career isn’t really going to take off until your late 20s at the earliest, because frankly until then you’re just not going to be very good. Spend the time to learn everything you can from everyone you can and try anything you can - experience now pays dividends later. Accept that you’re young and inexperienced, be humble, don’t pretend you know what you’re doing when you don’t, and you’ll come out of this decade miles ahead of where you start.

Oh, and - you’ve got 60 years ahead of you, statistically speaking. Probably no more, probably no less. Plan accordingly.

I've seen a lot of extremely smart people in their early 20's. Young people can easily be as good as older people. The big difference is that respect, pay and responsibilities are hoarded at the top and not offered to juniors.
> I do power lifting and yoga

This is probably the last two kinds of sports I would combine. Especially if you are serious about any of them. You could really hurt your back down the line.

Generally powerlifters shouldn't do yoga [1]. Because in powerlifting you really want to stiffen your back so it can handle heavy weights. In yoga you are trying to "unstiffen" your spine so you can get into those flexible positions.

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFoYpaHJXMo&t=740s

As someone who can only deadlift moderate weight (405lbs) I can tell this advice is almost completely wrong for anyone except maybe a record level lifter. This sounds like someone from the 1950s saying muscular people are "muscle-bound" and can't be flexible.
Start writing things down. If you have a terrible memory like me you might regret not documenting more of your life, especially because so many things happen in your 20s. I've started a weekly journal in my 30s and I'm so happy that I did.

It's also worth doing the same for things at work. Having a few stories written down about features you've implemented or bugs you've fixed may help you get through a few interviews.

This is so important. I recently went through old computers and made a web archive of every website I’ve ever worked on [1]. There’s still so much missing, though, especially from high school and college. I wish so much that I had had the foresight to save these things in advance, rather than trying to recover them years later.

[1] https://jake.museum

Think for yourself, don't take for granted what others are saying. Prevalent opinions in society can be wrong. Herds aren't always right.

Learn as much as you can.

Be curious.

Start investing early.

Read. This will get you an edge against most people today.

Enjoy life.

Be kind.

Keep in mind that you can die any day, always be ready to meet Our Lord
> Keep in mind that you can die any day, always be ready to meet Our Lord

cringe

My advise would be to stop believing in imaginary things. Accept life for what it is. One day you will no longer exist. The same way you didn’t exist until you were born. Celebrate how lucky you are to be alive. And realise that you will never experience not being alive. So death is nothing to fear.
Read biographies of great people across all walks of life. Personally I got a great deal from reading about Thomas Edison, Richard Feynman, Winston Churchill, Nikola Tesla, etc. Also basic psychology, e.g. cognitive biases, Maslow's Pyramid, physiology. Watch documentaries about various industries, manufacturing, construction, etc. Understand basic accounting and finance principles.

The reason I suggest the foregoing is that technology changes at a rapid pace, but in my experience the majority of real problems stem from people factors, communications issues, biases, lack of critical thinking, perverse incentives, factors such as ego, greed, hubris.

Keep yourself fit. Get a workout program and stick with it. Eat well. Educate yourself financially. Understand how to save, invest etc. Build a good network of mentors, friends etc. who you can talk to in the long term. Build a closer tribe of close friends who you interact with more frequently. Reject fear (since piece of advice I'd give my 23 year old self). Stay aggressive.

And don't forget to enjoy the results of the above. :)

Music and/or drawing. These are both long curve activities where the more you put in, the more you get out. For example, fooling around with a ukulele for a year or two really improved my guitar later (especially fingerpicking!) when I wanted to get more serious about it. Even though I'm still not very good, I'm not trying to be a rockstar or a professional musician, and I can do a lot of nice things with it. Now I'm re-learning music theory I was told about in high school, and it's feeling interesting and useful.

It's very much an enriching experience that constantly feels worthwhile, but it's been years in unfolding for me. These things build over time just as much as interest does on bank accounts.

...and I haven't actually done that much drawing, so maybe this is bubkus, but I feel very strongly that it's the same. A decade of doing it with some regularity, at any age, is worth infinitely more than a year of showing promise when you're 15.

I just restarted drawing at the age of 40 (used to do a lot when I was a kid). I'm using it to cope with anxiety.

I agree with what you are saying, it's essential to do non-screen stuff to remind ourselves we are still human.

Hah, for me drawing often _creates_ anxiety. Usually that happens when what I drew is not good as I'd expect, or not as good as things I've already drawn in the past. I also don't enjoy the early stages of doing the drawing (measurements, getting major proportions right). Maybe I just shouldn't draw :)
Go chase the things you want and experiences you wish to try as quickly as possible. These things have a habit of getting stuck in the perpetual future for years at a time. Often you reach them and realize they were a mirage, but sometimes they were gold. The only way to know the difference is to go for it. Don't get stuck.

Chase your passions at the moment you have them. One day you will wake up and your heart has moved on.

There are many important things you could do, but they have as much value as a helpful book in a library that you never visit...unless you practice them regularly.

Here are some things that may help your quality of life several decades from now.

Financial health:

* Start saving a large chunk of your income and invest it wisely in assets that will provide value over the long term. Avoid get rich quick schemes.

Physical health:

* Exercise everyday, preferably for a minimum of 30 minutes (it doesn't have to be a single session).

* Eat well, meaning, you can eat in tasty and highly indulgent foods, but develop the habit to eat more of whole and unprocessed/minimally processed foods.

* Related to the previous point, cooking is a life skill that will help manage your budget and health better. Learn to cook and try to cook at least one meal a day, if not all meals for the day.

* Sleep well and rest well during your waking hours.

Mental health:

* Related to the point about sleep and rest, try to regularly review your interactions online and offline, and cut off those that are not productive or those that make you feel worse, increase stress, etc. Good relationships can uplift you a lot, and bad relationships can make every other achievement pointless.

* Try out meditation, and if you're sure about your mental health, try a meditation retreat (even once is enough for a different perspective).

* It's natural to get extremely angry and upset about many things in this world. Practice some detachment if possible (this depends on your background and situation).

Odds and ends:

* Measure and track what you value. Without measurement, you won't realize how far you've reached or how far you've deviated from your desired states.

* Enjoy life through whatever provides you joy. Don't get guilt tripped by others on this front.

* Though related to health, I'm keeping this for the last since it may be very controversial. Avoid or drastically minimize the consumption of alcohol, smoking, and also caffeine if you can. The accumulated damage from these over decades cannot be reversed (well, if you have good genes, then it's a different matter).

Just curios, what's the accumulated damage over decades of caffeine?
Stay hungry, stay foolish.

-- SJ

Buy bitcoin and open a Roth IRA ASAP
- Start saving, even for very small amounts. Compound interest can work wonders.

- Start seeing a dentist every ~6 months. You won't have any issues for many years, so you may think that it's wasted time/money, but one day things will start going downhill and you will be prepared. Note that many tooth or gum issues cannot be reversed.

- As someone else mentioned, don't be afraid to experiment. You will mostly regret the things you haven't done, not the other way around.

- Take care of yourself, try to stay fit, but don't worry about the things you do wrong too much.

> Compound interest can work wonders.

This used to be great advice.

It still is, but even if it is not it may be in the future. The OP has many years ahead.
As the gap between the inflation and interest rates on saving increases, you lose more and more money in the long run. I'd go for a more general advice, that is trying to diversify your savings maximizing them while avoiding unnecessary expenses.
Please note that for many when they say compounding interest they mean compounded rate of return. This return can be on any asset class not just bonds.

I 1000% agree with you on avoiding unnecessary expenses. Until you get a few million in the bank your greatest wealth building tool is your income so be wise in how you deploy it.

Best advise I have is have a budget, try and save 20% of your GROSS, 10% to retirement the rest non retirement accounts.

> many tooth or gum issues cannot be reversed

Beware of what you put into your mouth. Too much chocolate/sugar? To much acid/citrus? Take care. Take things in moderation.