HN Explorer

Stop mind from thinking on other things while listening or learning

34 points by Tim25659 ↗ HN
Anybody experience this while learning something or talking, listening, mind wanders suddenly to irrelevant things is this behavior normal to everybody basically I will not be in the present moment is this a symptom of ADHD I'm suffering a lot because of this I used to get bad reputation in the corporate companies because whenever getting the requirement I was suppose to listen properly and implement the thing as I'm a developer but I used to end up with understanding different things and this happened many times and also I'm an introvert and shy because of this trait I will not open up with my team members so that many things were unclear when they asked me "Are you clear with this?" out of fear I used to tell them that "Yes I understood" instantly and when I come back to my chair I used to assume things and implement which was leading to conflict and escalations. My fear was that when they asked me did I understand the requirement what if I tell them that I didn't understand and what they might think about me will they think I'm stupid to understand anything, dumb, useless. Did Anybody faced this kind of difficulty and how you overcame it..

19 comments

[ 2.6 ms ] story [ 49.8 ms ] thread
emsy
I‘m going out on a limb and say almost everyone experiences this to some degree. If you find it impacts your life negatively you should definitely see a doctor. Other than that, mindfulness meditation is actually useful because you learn to control your thoughts instead of being controlled by them.
tailspin2019
Completely agree. And this is the most important bit:

> If you find it impacts your life negatively you should definitely see a doctor.

To OP: Don't suffer in silence. Have a chat with your doctor as they may be able to give you some advice.

I agree with @emsy that meditation can be helpful. Although it's expensive, Headspace is a good app for getting started. There's a free trial but there are probably other cheaper alternatives. You definitely don't need an app though. There are free podcasts out there that are very good.

There are other practical things you can try too. Do you take notes? Writing things down can actually help you understand things more clearly, as well as remember them. It's a good habit to get into if you don't do this already. Even if you have to take loads of notes, and other people don't. It doesn't matter. That's just the way you roll!

But yes, also, everyone has these sorts of issues occasionally. What's always worth remembering is most people go through life covering up their own internal worries and perceived flaws. It's not just you. So try not to worry too much if you need to ask for more clarification, or worry about being judged. People are generally more wrapped up in their own internal dialogue rather than spending their time judging you!

But most importantly... Talk to your doctor!

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thghtihadanacct
Ever read an entire page in a book and then realize it went in one eye and out the other and completely skipped comprehension because you were thinking about (enter mundane thing)?
throwaway81523
The way to fix that is have a pad of paper next to the book, and as you read, write a short summary of each paragraph.
mdp2021
Or just discipline yourself to examine the concepts mentally after every paragraph.
b00f897c431ec2d
The magic words to use when discussing this with your doctor are: "I have symptoms that indicate I may have ADHD; how do I go about being assessed for a diagnosis?". Your doctor will discuss the symptoms you are experiencing, and describe what you did in your post to them, along with any other examples (ie. interrupting people so you don't forget what you were going to add/say, things of those nature).
ranqet
Anybody experience writing a sentence and never use a period so that the sentence just goes on and on for an entire paragraph and its difficult for others to read and understand?
Rendello
I read a Quebecois book called Contre Dieu (Against God; there's an English translation as well) that's told in second person as a single, massive run-on sentence. It was bizarre but fit the theme perfectly, and it ended up being one of my favourite fiction books.
ffhhj
I do the following:

* Do an effort to be aware of being distracted, and wake myself up.

* Record meetings, easier now that I'm remote. Write down key words. Play back the conversation and make sense of notes.

* Ask questions early of what I didn't get, but take a while to think about them or research, so I won't throw a lot of stupid questions.

Optional: Get a girlfriend, they'll push you into the real world.

throw123213213
> ADHD

I was experiencing this symptom before I started ADHD farmacotheraphy + CBT

Jensson
Added/changed punctuation:

> Anybody experience this while learning something or talking, listening, mind wanders suddenly to irrelevant things? Is this behavior normal to everybody? Basically I will not be in the present moment, is this a symptom of ADHD? I'm suffering a lot because of this. I used to get bad reputation in the corporate companies because whenever getting the requirement I was suppose to listen properly and implement the thing as I'm a developer, but I used to end up with understanding different things and this happened many times.

Also I'm an introvert and shy because of this trait, I will not open up with my team members so that many things were unclear when they asked me "Are you clear with this?" out of fear I used to tell them that "Yes I understood" instantly, but when I come back to my chair I used to assume things and implement which was leading to conflict and escalations. My fear was that when they asked me did I understand the requirement what if I tell them that I didn't understand and what they might think about me will they think I'm stupid to understand anything, dumb, useless.

Did Anybody faced this kind of difficulty and how you overcame it?

Jensson
This could just be insecurity and stress. Not understanding things and forgetting things after a conversation is absolutely normal. Also saying you understand when you don't is also normal, it is bad behavior but it is normal bad behavior.

The big question for ADHD is if you can focus, so if you understand something can you do the work? If you can then you should look at the insecurity issues first. But if you have issues with focus even when not talking to people go get checked for ADHD.

afarrell
I've faced this difficulty. One way I overcome it is by co-writing a document with someone over Google Docs or Dropbox Paper.
clueless123
Our minds are wired to wonder, recall previous similar situations , associate and predict what is coming.. some minds are more active at this than others.

If you want to get some control over this, try practicing meditation. It will strengthen your ability to focus.

My 10c advise.

X6S1x6Okd1st
If there are frequently miscommunications you should at least try to rephrase or summarize what you heard in the meeting, especially the tasks that you'll be taking on.
f0e4c2f7
Attention is a muscle you can build up with effort.

Two forms of practice I enjoy are reading books and mindfulness meditation.

anon2020dot00
Write down stuff in a paper or in something like Google Keep.

Something like this:

1. Main Topic

  - Sub-Topic 1

     - Details

  - Sub-Topic 2
2. Main Topic 2

Outlining is pretty powerful and check-out Workflowy and Roam Research as well

customerinfo
Yes, since high school it's been always like that for me. I get lost after first few words and have been asking other listeners to clarify for me. I found reading much more useful than listening. But even reading can be challenging when I read thru 3-4 pages absolutely not registering one idea because my mind was somewhere else.