Ask HN: Looking for hard-working, ambitious co-founder

I'm looking for a beautiful blonde attractive wife. She has to be ready to live with me in a deep relationship, starting immediately. I have a good idea of where I want the relationship to go, as I have some experience-- I previously had a successful marriage with 2 kids and a minivan.

Contact me if interested.

(Seriously, I think this reads too much like a stereotypical job ad, and less like a search for a cofounder. Cofounders need to have much better relationships than employees, and I'm hesitant to think that four paragraphs of generic superlatives is the right way to find partners for a business venture.)

Seriously?

OK. I'm in. But I need 55% ownership and a 75k/yr Salary + benefits. Also, I prefer to do the business side, so I'll go ahead and file all the papers and then hire you as an employee (dont worry, you can still be silent, minority investor too, but I'm afraid I cant give you any real voting rights). :)

With that out of the way -- there is a lot of discussion about whether hacker news is a great place to find co-founders. To be honest, this place is probably chock full of awesome co-founders, both technical or business. But the method of your request is all wrong.

Great partnerships are sort of like relationships. Its about give and take, its about strengths and weaknesses. I hate to say it, but you arent going to have any idea about that from a post on here, and its a horrible way to start an enterprise. $10 says you get 6 months in, realize you have different visions for the company, and one of you walks, leaving the other with a pile of shit and a lot of bills. Nevermind, you can keep the $10. You're going to need it.

To be frank -- You would be better off using this place to ask for advice on a more specific topic -- perhaps something you are weak at. Then look through the responses, find the ones that strike you as the smart, intuitive responses, and ask those people if they mind having lunch with you. Rinse, repeat 20 times. Then you will start to build a network. Have a beer with those people occasionally. Talk about similar interests (I guess for you, your idea in enterprise software...). A natural choice for someone who COULD be a partner will filter itself out. And you'll be better off, because you will actually be at least ACQUAINTANCES with that person, so you'll have an idea if they are shitting you or the real thing.

[Sidebar -- If you are equally as capable in business and technical side, wtf do you want a partner for? You need employees and investors.]

Sorry to be a downer on your idea -- but your methodology stinks as either someone who is lazy or a liar, and neither of those make good partners.

I am a charismatic figure, often seen leaping tall buildings in a single bound or moving faster than a speeding bullet. I have been known to build houses for the homeless in the slums of Harlem on my lunch breaks. I walk old ladies across the street, I write motivational speeches, and I double down on twenty and win - all in half an hour. I sleep in a Yoga position on a bed of nails while drinking water. Occasionally, I run the New York Marathon and win. I take women’s breaths away with my divine artwork.

I move so quickly I make Jet Li look like a chump and my deft-defying footwork leaves Michael Jordan in awe. I am wanted in 2,359 countries as a political outlaw and am worshipped by a small Pigmy tribe in Africa. Using a pair of chopsticks and soy sauce I once saved a small Chinese restaurant in Brooklyn from the Asian Mafia. I build mainframe telecommunication networks for fun and single handedly defeated twenty 5 yr. olds in a game of Dodge Ball. I’ve been banned from playing the lottery because I win so much. In a Hyundai Excel I ran the quarter mile in the high 9’s. My incredible good looks are such that I make lesbians go straight.

Scientists have preserved my DNA for the cloning of a future biogenetically engineered army to take over the world. I coined the phrase “Bootie Call” and your sister once had a crush on me not so long ago. I write articles for GQ, The Wall Street Journal, and the New York Times just to amuse myself. I scored a 1600 on the SAT.

You guys are giving me a hard time. I'm just tired of trying to convince my friends to start a business. I wanted to outline my "forces" in this post; just hint about what I'm capable of. As for Craigslist: it's too local, not technical enough to find anyone. I just want to meet someone who share the same interests and values. Obviously some of you don't, and I'd suggest just stop whining about it. BTW, your assumptions are sometime telling a little bit too much about you...