Ask HN: Where to Find Interesting People?
Where do you go to meet interesting people to talk to? I find it's difficult to find the right mixture of:
a) A setting where it's acceptable to strike up a conversation with a stranger
b) A place not already geared towards a different purpose (i.e. a bar for hookups)
c) Filled with -- for lack of a better phrase -- people who are uninteresting to talk to. By that I mean people who aren't looking to chat, all conform to a very rote / traditional lifestyle, or generally aren't great conversationalists.
28 comments
[ 5.3 ms ] story [ 68.7 ms ] threadIf by interesting you mean people who enjoy the same topics of conversation as you do then pick a topic.
Figure out what people interested in that topic do, where do they go.
Go there.
I personally think it's fascinating to talk to people who are unlike myself, but your approach is definitely valid (if a bit "draw the rest of the f**ing owl") for a given interest.
Volunteering in the community you live brings a wide array of people and there’s usually downtime for talking.
take a class in some subject that is somewhat outside your comfort zone, so if you're a programmer don't take a programming class. I would recommend an art, music, or literature class. Downside, lots of uninteresting people really into those subjects can also be pretentiously annoying.
Other classes one can take that will also be healthy for you: Dance, cooking (maybe of some type that is not that well known or trendy will improve chances), Capoeira - has a generally gregarious culture and tends to have people who are not as much into the general martial arts stuff as others - especially Capoeira Angola.
However all these things probably betray my particular interests and where I might expect to find people I consider 'interesting', it's a pretty subjective quality.
I think it'd will be more excited to meet random people and find out that they're interesting than you try to find them at a specific place.
Common politeness generally means avoiding personal or possibly controversial topics with strangers, so you might have to invest the time to get to know someone.
I like to think I don't come across as aloof, self-centered, and dismissive, but -- like I mentioned in another comment -- who really knows what another thinks of them? Perhaps that's a good area to validate my assumptions so that I'm not shooting myself in the foot.
And on your last point, I definitely agree. Sometimes however you can find yourself in a situation where those barriers don't really apply and you can have a deep, interesting conversation with little prompting. I guess the heart of my question is about where people find those interesting conversations with greater regularity.
Many years ago I suffered from painful shyness. A friend who did not have that problem told me to try acting “not shy.” He suggested I go out of my way to talk to at least one stranger every day, even if just to ask a question that might start a conversation. “What’s the best coffee (food, drink, etc.) here?” At a bar I will ask the bartender to give me a shot of her favorite whiskey or tequila, then ask why that’s her favorite. That kind of thing. I have started some good conversations and met some great people that way. And over time the shyness receded as well.
In general people love to talk, and many people feel lonely and want to connect, so they welcome someone who makes the first move as long as it’s not creepy or intrusive. You have to read the situation of course, but a smile and sincere question or comment can work most of the time.
-Hobby clubs. (We all have the hobby in common)
-Work conferences. (I work in tech so tech is always interesting.)
-Friend groups/activities.
And don't forget to make yourself comfortable to banter and have small talks, sometimes people complain about how hard it is to make new friends, meanwhile they are super shy, not sure how they can find one tbh :(
Kind of an “If you're the most interesting person in the room, you're in the wrong room.” vibe.
Do you think at this point people might be sensing that you're bracing for boredom as you're talking to them? I don't mean to blame you but vibes are powerful and real and it takes a lot of effort to truly conceal our emotions and assumptions
For the latter, I like to think not (but who really knows someone else's experience of themselves?). I enjoy talking to strangers for it's own sake and I'm not generally bracing for boredom, my question was primarily about good places to explore that have a higher ratio of interesting interactions to non-interesting interactions.
I understand the classification is very subjective, so I left the question somewhat subjective to hear not only answers to the core question, but also answers to the implicit question of "what do you find to be interesting".