Ask HN: How do you avoid video game addiction?

Just don’t. Fill the gap. Meditate. Build something.

I know my tendency to get addicted so I just don't play games anymore.

> Gambling disorder is the only behavioral addiction (as opposed to substance use) identified in DSM-5.

There is no such thing as video game addition. Video games do not directly hijack the substrates your brain uses for calculating motivation and interest. It's just another stimuli coming in through your normal senses. There is nothing magical, good or bad, about stimuli on screens.

I avoid immersive games entirely because I can lose days to them.

Avoiding at source is not the only way to manage a willpower problem but it is the most decisive.

I have a similar thing, if I install a particular game I tend to play a bit too much, then uninstall and won't play for awhile; and reinstalling it takes several hours on my lousy internet connection.

I do play a healthy amount of another game, but tend to play with my siblings and it is more about the social aspect rather than the game itself.

I agree that filling the time with something better is important, and to stick to a particular amount of time with a game. The "just one more match" syndrome is real, and can create issues.

If you really need to stop, use cheats.

That will break the dopamine cycle and you’ll be free.

Maybe it also works to limit play time to healthy levels.

For example, I was once playing quite a bit of WoW, and after I trying it out on an unofficial server where I could teleport anywhere made the game lose all its appeal.

Did something similar here years ago with original Unreal Tournament. Spent up to 8 hours a day playing it on week days, 15-18 hours at weekends for two entire years. Just woke up one day, walked into the bathroom, stared at the mirror for about 5 minutes and asked myself what the hell I was doing. Waltzed into the bedroom where my PC was, uninstalled it and never played a game again. I think I was just "done" at that point.

Within 18 months I got a new job, moved out of home, was married and had a child so go figure at what you're missing out on and go and do that instead.

You can totally have a healthy amount of playing. But it sounds like you're treating the whole endeavor of video gaming as if it is an addiction just from the start which in turn makes it an addicting activity to you. Just the way you phrase the beginning of your story where you would stop when your wife wasn't home but then you didn't care anymore and then you kept doing it when she was home. That's shame or something. It's just an activity it's just a game. Why not just play the game when you want to have fun? Spend time with your wife have fun with your wife make love with your wife if your wife is so important do things with your wife. You have a whole life. Video games are for fun and entertainment.

AFAIK, video game systems often have parental controls. You could get your wife to set it up. For my kids, we use a combination of parental controls and reminding them to setup and respect their own timers to get them into the habit of being mindful of screen time limits.

My oldest still thinks about and wants to talk about games a lot while not playing, but he's gotten used to video game time limits and can spend his time in other activities without fuss.

It is possible. Civ 5 had an option to display game-play time. This was all I needed to avoid really long sessions. It would be great if all games had this option, as most games go full-screen obscuring the system clock.

The alternative is to put a physical clock where you can see it by only shifting your eyes.

That said, I don't play games anymore. If I did try them again, I would want a visible clock.

I feel like if you put 2000 hours into anything you'll be able to get into flow states with it. Seems like a "right brain" feeling-reaction loop than a "left brain" thinking-evaluating loop.

Find a skill you want to build and track the hours you spend doing it. If you don't think you'll get there after 500, try something else.

I would say you can't play that game anymore. You were obviously getting something out of that game, so you need to find a replacement for that, that is less addicting. You said you like the flow state it gives you so you could focus that energy on something else, a side project, wood working, chess,read a book, or even another video game.

I wouldn't call relaxing a "waste of time", but too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. The amount of physiological warfare waged against our attention span in this age is not something humans are built for, so cut yourself some slack.

Which game, by the way?

A friend of mine managed to quit by selling his PC computer. He found that being unable to play was the only way to be sure, and that it's easier to sell a PC than it is to not install the game or not play.

Not sure if this is good advice or not.

The cliche responses, but.. Sports offer similar flow states,. but do require some effort to get to that point. Additional bonus is you get fit and meet people as well . Personally I surf, run, bike, but other good ones are rock climbing, martial arts, cross fit .. it's never too late to start (but injuries do start accumulating on some of the more intensive ones after 40)

What's the game?

I can't handle those sorts of skill/ladder games. They demand too much time to keep up your skill and are clearly addicting. Personally I've found music to play a similar role in bringing that "flow state". Find a practical hobby where your time and effort result in something material rather than digital AND has the added benefit of being sharable with others.

I still enjoy videogames but I essentially only play:

  - In person co-op games with friends (smash, mario kart, etc.)
  - Challenging single player games (souls-like) where I set a timer somewhere between 30-60 minutes and force myself to stop at the end.

Game addiction is a multi-year struggle for me that comes and goes. At one point I even set limits for myself using Blizzard's excellent parental controls, but even then I found myself disabling them when I was convinced that I just deserved 'a little bit more' gaming to offset a hard day, and then would forget to re-enable them again. I recently deliberately locked myself out of my Steam account, by changing the password to a random string and giving that to my partner to keep safe. So far that's worked: I haven't just gone and found another non-Steam game to play. But we'll see how long it lasts.

I totally identify with what you say about being able to focus on the game to the exclusion of everything else. The world is difficult to cope with, and games are beautifully, seductively, easy.

Congratulations on your four months clean. I hope that you find something else in life that provides the same flow state, but without the addiction.

>According to Steam I played over 2.000 hours during 2020 and 2021.

Less than three hours a day for passive recreation is hardly out of line with modern western lifestyles. The average American spends more than that watching television.

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/articles/2021-07-22/...

I obviously wouldn't want to deter anybody from productive work in favor of entertainment, but physical and mental rest is a biological necessity. Don't feel bad for kicking back if it's just a couple of hours a day.

Have you ever been evaluated for ADHD? I'm not a specialist, nor does your post have anywhere near enough info for me to judge, but your second to last paragraph especially sent up some flags for me so I thought I'd mention it

You need something to kill time. You may not like my answer. But how about having kids?

You won’t have time to play video games (or your wife will beat you up) for decades if they keep coming. Then you will be too old to play/care about games.

Its totally possible to avoid video game addition, I casually play videogames, and have been in places in my life where I played in excess, but usually that came with avoiding parts of my life. So I say "Ask yourself why you might be playing to the exclusion of your life outside of the videogame and see if you can find other ways to enrich your time."

It reads like you are looking for something more exciting in your life, not that you are looking to zone out into a "flow state" for hours of gaming. Maybe start there.

Video games affect different people differently. The pattern of behavior you describe, that can be summarized as 'all or nothing gaming' approach is something I recognize through own experience.

The key is to have healthy dose of other activities that will prevent you from going 'all in' on games. Sports or travel come to mind.

And having children... Once you have kids, the days of your glorious gaming past will become a hazy, distant memory.

It's weird, I was very addicted to gaming as a teen. World of Warcraft for 14 hours a day was very normal (and some how I still wasn't incredible at the game). After turning 18, I landed my first job pumping gas and it straightened me out. It fixed most of my social anxiety and stopped spending all day inside.

Now 10~ years later, I've swapped addictions. Cars. Spending an entire weekend dismantling and tinkering in the garage, while spending all my money on car related stuff.

I yearn for the days of gaming. It was a very cheap hobby in comparison.

I don't have much advice, but some people have much more addictive personalities or a lack of discipline. I've avoided all drugs/drinking for this exact reason.

I've been attempting to ease away from car stuff, and go back to a more productive "addiction" by learning EE and programming more.

First of all, the average adult in the US watches ~1300 hours TV per year. Playing games instead is not worse. But arguably it's a waste of your life. So I would ask myself what I want to do with my life and do that. If then there is some down time available for gaming, why not?

I can't answer your question directly but I can share my experience. I put ~3k hours into a fast paced fast twitch competitive multiplayer in around 3 or 4 years, significantly increased in 2020 of course. I had some thought that maybe it was addiction, for sure part of the problem was covid, but I also made a number of friends and so it was social too.

Eventually the social scene kind of fell over for me, covid loosened up, and I realized my time spent had not decreased. Putting some thought into what made the game enjoyable for me personally and I realized it was the process of improving that made it rewarding. Then I took a look at well what have I really been improving lately? Again social scene is done so I'm not improving team play, what about solo play? Not really there either. I had reached a peak that wasn't surmountable with the state of the game (matchmaking and network reliability at my skill level was not conducive to the experiences that would allow me to improve) and so realizing that all of the thrill and promise of improvement kind of fell off and I mostly stopped playing for a few months.

Lately I've been trying to rekindle some social scene and have defined some new development goals that aren't as grindy as my previous solo play. More casual play.

Maybe some introspection on what you are getting out of it I guess. I hadn't thought that hard about about how improvement was the main feature for me, of course I noticed myself getting better but once I identified that as the ultimate source of enjoyment and a lacking feature I organically lost interest.