Ask HN: A genie appears. What do you wish for?
I posted my wishes in the comments as well.
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141 comments
[ 2.7 ms ] story [ 187 ms ] threadThe boring, but "cut to the chase" wish would be for happiness and the "larger than myself" wish would be peace on earth.
What is currently missing from achieving more happiness for you?
And I also join the wish for peace in the world :)
I am grateful that I found my key to love both with my spouse but also via being increasingly able to connect to all the other lovely persons and creatures (dogs,...) in my life :)
But it was a long path for me. For me, I discovered it more and more after years of dancing Salsa, Bachata etc where the best teachers always focus on connection as well as leading and following. Those experiences together with regularly changing between the lead and the follow - while always being clear who plays which part - was the key for me. And also the book "Hold me Tight" gave me mental clarity which led to mental clarity for organizing the experiences that I had in my life before. It was a life-changing event for me when I learned about this. together with watching the following video (which I did 1 year before and practiced it regularly with my wife): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7TONauJGfc&t=2s
I have to say that I love the general notion of advertising (although I realize that this is not what is currently widespread): someone who created something awesome pays for my discovery costs. Without them paying for it, I might never put in the effort to find them - or I would not stumble across them.
However, when I think about it, I currently have a hard time thinking of something that I only discovered due to ads and not (also) via another path
Advertising is not free money. Just this morning there was an example discussed on NPR. Magazines targeting black communities ignored any and all evidence that smoking is bad because such a large portion of their budget came from tobacco ads. This type of thing happens _all the time_.
If this is the case, there might be other solutions e.g. teaching all people to be careful what they consume and how they consume information.
Another option might of course be policy about regulating advertising e.g. forcing them to always hint the customer to a web page that compares multiple offers that achieve the same, advertised outcome but in a different way or from a different provider. At least reminding people with every ad that there are other options out there. And if, eventually, the provider of the ad has the best offering, the summary page will reinforce that. The challenge that I see is on how to create the page and who authorizes it - especially given the wild variance among preferences of individuals.
I sometimes envy other, more menial jobs because the tools they use day-to-day are still tools designed to help them do their job faster instead of trying to solicit "engagement". Plumbers' wrenches or electricians' screwdrivers don't come with a little screen and buzzer to beep at you every couple hours because you haven't "engaged" with it enough.
In tech and most office jobs we are still forced to use a lot of consumer-grade "tools" (and major operating systems such as Windows, macOS, iOS and Android) which can technically be a lot more efficient (and less annoying) but aren't because of the advertising business model (and the same business model prevents them from offering a paid option).
> I have to say that I love the general notion of advertising: someone who created something awesome pays for my discovery costs.
As a consumer, I don't want to be forced to "discover" your product since in reality this "discovery" deliberately interrupts or slows down whatever other task I'm trying to do. Ironically, when I do want to discover new products, there is no actual "ad search engine" where I can enter a detailed search criteria (against the ads' targeting parameters) to find ads matching it despite it being trivial to build for any of the ad giants.
I don't have any particular problems with old-school print/magazine advertising since those are still within the control of the user - I choose when I have time to look at the magazine and be exposed to its ads and I've already pre-filtered which ads I'll see based on the general topic of the magazine.
So, it seems like you would prefer if many of the businesses that currently choose an advertising business model choose another one. Is this correct?
Having said that. What do you think about a regulation that companies are required to offer a pay-for-no-ads option which gives users an option that is priced at 10% above the expected value of their ad revenues?
Bold claim, I know, but some axioms to back this up:
* My attention is a finite resource
* My attention has a non-zero value (the advertising market wouldn't exist otherwise)
* Advertising consumes my attention
Ergo, if I have not agreed for you consume my attention, you are taking something from me without my permission. The very definition of theft.
The tricky bit is defining "unsolicited".
If I requested content from your web site, I think I have given you implicit permission to advertise to me. If I am watching your TV channel, you have a right to show me advertising. If I'm on your property, you have a right to display whatever you want.
But if I'm driving down a public highway, you do not have a right to steal my attention with a billboard. If I'm laying on a public beach, you do not have a right to distract me with an airplane towing your tacky-ass sign through the air.
That said, there is no way I'm wasting my genie wish on ad blocking...
More money and you’re probably spending it on servants and lavish housing or entertainment. Those things might be cool, but it’s mental overhead that I imagine a lot of people just don’t want to deal with.
Realistically, I’d live the life I want with $5 million. I’m an asshole but I’m not the kind of asshole who wants to be a billionaire.
Sounds like a modest, reflected asshole to me ;)
- Try some ideas for inventions I had
- Make a nice game
- Support my family goals some more.
I love to work, to develop new stuff etc... But the pressure of being required to make some profit so I can pay rent, food, water, heat, etc... just takes almost all the fun out of it. If we could live in some utopia where every fundamental needs would be fulfilled, I am 100% certain my procrastination and my anxiety would just go away.
What is your current balance of doing things you like vs things you have to do?
What are things that you would love to do that you currently procrastinate?
I would basically still do the same thing if I didn't have to, but without the overwhelming pressure.
I would also travel more, my work can be done remotely, and I'd love to meet more people from around the world. But 90% of the money I earn goes to food/water/rent.
My procrastination just makes me do in a few days what I could do in a few hours. I don't really delay stuff, I just do it slower. I've stop pressuring myself into doing it quick because it would increase my anxiety.
> What do you think about death?
I try not to think about it too much. Contemplating your own mortality when you have anxiety and procrastinate easily, this is a highway to a depressive state (at least for me). I prefer to practice mindfulness.
If I understand that story correctly, the universe got stuck in a loop at the end.
It would be nice to not have worry so much and work so hard to just pay rent and cover basic expenses.
I've been doing this for (what seems like) a long time and I'm really kinda burnt out at the moment.
I have been burnt out myself in the past and it was not a pleasure to be in that state of mind. Do you have hope that this might become better in the future? Do you see "light at the end of the tunnel" so to say or are you more like trodding ahead in the dark?
I'd be so happy with just enough to cover rent, food, utilities and my pets' (minimal) expenses. Nothing extravagant, nothing for splurging.
I try not to talk about personal stuff on HN, but I guess today is an exception, here's a bunch of context you didn't ask for:
I moved out of a bad home environment at a very young age, while I was still a student. Juggling being a full-time student and being a full-time employee at the same time took a serious toll on me. And then I never got to take a break or vacation, never had time to 'reset', because rent is always due in a few weeks, I just had to keep working and working and working. Hence the burn out.
To make matters worse, I like to work as a generalist. I do development, graphic design, web design, writing, marketing, and a bunch of other stuff. I love this, but it's really hard to find people who are willing to bring on relatively young people for such a role.
Startups are open to it sometimes, but I've had some not great experiences where they've been borderline/outright exploitative.
The cost of living is very high where I live, and it's generally hard to find companies willing to pay someone my age a proper salary on which they can live alone, unfortunately. :/
It's not all bad though. Luckily I have some amazing people as friends, and they're a great support system. And last year I found an amazing therapist, and I think that has helped me a lot.
> Do you see "light at the end of the tunnel"?
I think I do, yeah. (But it's a tiny speck, faaaaaar away!) I've been though worse, and I always do find a way to get through it, it's not like I have a choice, right? :D
I would also not say I'm particularly depressed at the moment. I kinda just feel exhausted a lot lately, I would really just love a break, honestly.
I very recently started trying to find work as a PHP backend engineer. It's never something I've done full-time, but it's a language I've used extensively since I was a tween, and I have a lot of fun with it, so I think that would be pretty awesome if it works out :)
Anyway, yeah, sorry for the huge wall of text, dunno if it's something that interests you, haha. Thanks for asking this question though, I've had fun going through the other responses.
Also, it's heart-warming for me to read that you have hope and a path forward and I wish you all the strength to get ahead and ... to ... keep ... moving.
Just like in the poem https://poets.org/poem/do-not-go-gentle-good-night
And I hope that every now and then you find something pleasureable in life as well! (A notion which I miss in the poem - maybe there is a better one? :D)
And I am glad you enjoy reading the other responses! Thank you for mentioning this!
> And I hope that every now and then you find something pleasurable in life as well!
Here's a poem I like to read to remind myself that there are some really beautiful things in life that we don't notice: https://englishverse.com/poems/leisure
Do you already have back up plans to let your kids experience the unconditional love of her mom even when she is not around in a body any more?
To fulfil a classic anti-joke.
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/vx9bDegjn75KrpNTn/the-orange...
I the post, it links another post which tries to find predictors for which people like it and which don't. However, that link is broken. Do you know about a solution for this?
Any other wishes given that the genie seems to have escaped the control of the lawyers?
Whatever you wish for is rarely what makes you happy. Rich people have same-ish issues with depression as the rest, even though you'd think they can have all their wishes fulfilled.
We have the tendency to see the next thing we want, and to think "ahh, then I'll be happy. Just that one more thing". Then we get it and hours/weeks/months later we think, "really, that thing?".
Happiness probably doesn't look like what I imagine. Maybe it's hard work, but just so fulfilling? Maybe it's harm to me, which brings me to a whole different path of life? Or hell, maybe it's just a wad of cash, but at least I know it will make me happy.
I’m sure that if I pick one thing that is supposed to make me happy, it will probably not do that. It’s like thinking a software rewrite can fix your problems.
Ask for good software, not the opportunity to rewrite everything in Rust.
I’m currently focusing on my sports for happiness. But I’m also fairly sure that if I asked the Genie to make me an amazing sportsperson to make me happy, I’d find it disappointing.
For instance, suppose I'm on a freeway and the car has lost control and crossed a divider into opposite traffic. I'd like to be able to have my life-saving wish executed in milliseconds (like please don't hit that obstruction/car), which is currently not possible with the high latency user interface of the genie.
- Being able to do or work on what I want without it having to be about money and employment
- Being content, most of the time. Constant happiness is utopian, but if I can just be content with what I have, what I do and what I experience, that would be great
- Less mental fog and unfocusedness (not sure if that is an existing word)
Overall I just wish that every human on earth gets the chance to feel good about themselves and where they are in life.
Where I live I get to vote on a lot of things. I vote based on what I think is fair, not what brings me or my country the biggest benefit. In a way I try to be Anti-Nationalistic. Proud to be born and living where I am, but I don't let this cloud my judgement.
I try to criticize every group I deem to be doing wrong things, without being a hater and without taking sides. Be it my country, neighboring countries, Russia, USA, China, groups I disagree or agree with.
Military Service is mandatory where I live, but I made sure not to take part in it. Naturally I am a pacifist, or at least I try to be. Meaning that I am a pacifist, but I think its a privileged thing to be able to be a pacifist.
Be respectful of others, discuss, educate yourself and others.
I try to push and support people or organizations who uncover what I think goes wrong on our world. Tax aviodance/evasion on pacific islands, corruption, inside deals, power grabs, greenwashing, rainbowwashing, pinkwashing, CO2-Certificates bullshit, you name it.
But if I want to be cynical - I don't really DO anything. All I do is talk and write about what I think. I don't really know how I can bring myself closer to my picture of the future - and that's whats fucking scary to me.
Basically, I try to talk about my picture of the future when I get the chance, vote accordingly and try to behave like I would like others to. Be mindful, try to be sustainable, think ethical etc. I am in no way perfect, not at all. I am a first world-citizen. My PCs GPU consumes a lot of power, one of my hobbies is motorcycling, my apartment can be heated all year round. But I don't own a car, live vegetarian and almost vegan. Just trying to find a balance.
Sorry for the incoherent rambling, I really don't know how to answer your question. If I could, I wouldn't need a genie to help me. But if you have tips or your own thoughts, feel free to share.
I think you are already doing a lot. And the things that you talk about need consistent action. So, as long as you keep your principles, you are an agent of change. Is there more that you can do? Of course. Is there less? Also!
The question now becomes: where do you choose to draw the line?
Also reached out to you via email.
Perfect. Let's chat via mail about drawing lines ;)
What do you think about therapy sessions?
Caveat that I'd have to think long and hard about the terms of this and confer with other wishers on how trustworthy this genie is. I don't want to degrade to the point I can't move a single joint yet stay alive, or spend 700 million years encased in concrete or trapped at the ocean floor or whatever other horrible crap a malicious genie might come up with. So I need to figure out some way to word it in terms of not aging or suffering injury. Perfect resilience, but I still want the ability to die by choice.
Also, are you familiar with the work of Dr. Sinclair e.g. "Why we age and why we don't have to"? It seems like he aims for a version of (optional) immortality that you describe.
I'm not entirely sure how 'more time' would be accomplished. It could be living longer, not requiring sleep, not needing a salary to pay for basic needs (which would free up existing time).