Seems like a great way for nation state adversaries to catfish their way into important repos. /s
Seriously, though, what about developers who are looking for someone that brings other skills and interests to the relationship? Or people who like the idea of dating a developer, but aren't one themselves?
Then there's the issue that people might want to keep their developer/professional identity separate from their romantic identity, for reasons of privacy, security, and staying on the right side of HR.
If it's not too late to pivot, I would recommend using Wikipedia accounts as the user pool, since the site allows users to create their own Talk pages, on which they can add their interests and what they are looking for.
Do people want things like this? Not just developers, I mean people just like them? Genuine question. Maybe I'm burned out, but the last thing I want to talk about outside of work is computers/programming.
In my life dating, people like me just made for a rather boring relationship. My wife and I couldn't be more different of people, with wildly different interests, but it makes for always interesting conversation and learning from one another.
It usually depends on the specific practice/specialization or facility, but yeah, most doctors are in the category of 24/7 essential healthcare - especially when they're first starting out and lack any semblance of tenure.
This works well for me, too. My wife is a teacher. I appreciate her schedule and her outside perspective on my chunk of the tech industry, and the diversity of our perspectives makes us a better parenting team. I also appreciate the income diversification; I know lots of couples who have highly correlated salaries. Not a reason to choose a partner but something to try and de-risk if you’re in that position. Lastly, it’s nice to bounce product ideas off someone who is unimpressed by flashy features.
This isn’t to say that I think developers dating developers is a bad idea, choosing a partner is the most personal possible choice and I’m glad to see an interesting new angle on it.
Same... I've never dated another dev, but have dated people who were very similar in almost every way, and those never really worked out long term. My current partner, who I've been with the longest by far, is very different in all the ways except the ones that really matter (values, personality compatibility, emphasis on good communications and collaborative problem-solving).
I appreciate the diversity and our different perspectives a lot, along with our ability to talk through differences together in a "we both win or we both lose" kinda dialogue, no shouting or anything, just a lot of back-and-forth sharing.
for programming, I totally agree. for science, it seems like it's a different story. there's numbers of famous teams of spouses who work side by side in the same field/lab. universities will even find a faculty position for your spouse if they want you enough.
I'm biased perhaps, but I think science is fundamentally more interesting and rewarding than doing engineering for a FAANG. (disclaimer: I work for a FAANG but on more and more pure math stuff.)
That was what I was thinking. A dating service for devs is going to be like 99% guys. On the up side, though, it might underscore the benefits of having a more diverse tech industry.
I get what a few people said about not wanting to be talking about work all the time, but for me, it's more about shared passions. I'd much rather be dating somebody who understands why some hack I did is particularly clever, and maybe even has a better one. I have trouble finding any real chemistry with people who aren't part of my world.
Regular dating app trying to appeal to women are already 90% men. A dating app appealing to a male-dominated demographic is going to have virtually no women at all.
It has no info about how it works, who runs it, etc. Just a random form. Maybe a phishing attempt? I wouldn't trust it...
Edit: I think there are a lot of sites in this vein, whitelabeled dating sites/apps that try to rip off the big ones by forming their own tiny niches. It doesn't necessarily mean it's fake, but even if it's real, the network is probably going to be so small as to be worthless.
Yeah, just the right-click Search with Google Lens. I think it's built-in to Chrome these days?
Something about the "skinny vector people" just seemed really boilerplate to me, along with telltale signs of "someone used a bootstrap-like framework" like the cards not having the same vertical height. Nothing on the page made it seem like it was actually designed for a dev-centric service, it all just looked like it was ripped off a generic dating template. So I just wanted to confirm that hunch.
Could you please stop posting unsubstantive and/or flamebait and/or snarky comments (not to mention personal attacks) to HN? You've been doing it a lot, unfortunately, and we ban this sort of account.
This might be an off topic and immature critique but the image under the "Start Meeting" heading places the hilt of the looking glass in a very... precarious location - maybe especially for a dating app.
Don't women in tech already struggle with unwanted sexual advances? It's hard to imagine them voluntarily signing up for a service to be surrounded by even more tech bros... (sorry, guys...)
It's hard for me to even imagine "coder" as a dating persona; why would anyone care? Income bracket, maybe, but there are already matchmaking services/filters for that. Passion for technology? Maybe, but there are already communities for that where you can meet others without the overbearing expectation of romance.
In general I think dating and social loneliness is already heavily lopsided against hetero men; women don't need a "find me a dev who wants to date me" app, their existence is constantly bombarded with that. Why would they ever sign up for something like this?
I don't know how this would play out for queer devs, so I won't speculate there.
What if this is an app for women to find a relatively well off (replace with intelligent, etc) partner given that this app is, essentially, a filter that dictates level of income/job bracket (location dependent, but you get the idea).
But you can find smart people with acceptable incomes on any ol' dating app. People already allude to their professions all the time, and you can pretty easily suss out intelligence -- all that without narrowing your dating pool to "devs who for some reason aren't on the bigger dating sites".
And if you're a hetero woman dev, chances are your network is already filled with hordes of eligible bachelors a degree or two away -- if you even want to date in that pool.
I think that's the biggest "if" here... "devs" are not really a sexy stereotype in the way that date-an-athlete or date-a-doctor or date-a-rapper would be, I don't think. If anything, it probably hurts your chances. I certainly wouldn't go around throwing, "Hey babe, ever been with a dev?" Lol.
Normally I’d agree, but there’s a market for everything and everyone, and timing is key. There exists a market for this, especially for people coming from abroad who have preconceptions around what kind of a person they want to be with. Engineers, in this case, are a category that is filtered - in good and bad ways.
Having talked with several hetero female friends, they have dating difficulties as well. They’re different, but not obviously lesser, than those of hetero males.
Unsolicited (and often specifically anti-solicited [which I’d have thought wasn’t a necessary step, but…]) dick pics.
Straight up “hey hottie, wanna bang?” (75% of the time asked more crudely).
Asking for nudes before a first date.
It made the dudes who merely ignored her profile seem like Prince Charming.
I can’t tell if “maybe it works 2% of the time, so I’ll just fire off 100 ultra-low effort contacts and hope for a nibble” or if these guys are hopelessly clueless.
Then, though it might seem like a luxury, but if she left her profile up for a week, she’d have high double digits of new contacts on any of the larger sites every week. Finding the 2 or 3 good matches in the deluge of contacts, propositions, and dick pics was overwhelming.
I can see women wanting to “show me only a tiny sliver of the overall population, since the full firehose is far too much anyway”. Whether SWE is the right slice I can’t say, but it seems like there’s plenty of desire on both sides and plenty of disposable income from both sides.
If the author if this app happens to read this, can you perhaps explain the thought process behind creating this app? Are you expecting thousands of women to flock to try their luck matching with a developer (a male dominated industry)?
If you're looking to develop another dating app perhaps look for ways to address the problems with existing ones. Here are a few examples: Horrible male to female ratio. Men swipe at everything, women are incredibly picky. F*boys. Female safety fears. Catfishing. Scams. Superficial decision making in matching. Ghosting. Lack of reputation building and tracking in the app. Crappy profiles. Old outdated pictures. Lack of actually wanting to meet.
My humble suggestion: Pivot and come up with something unique that makes online dating a notch better than it currently is.
Some of this can be fixed with technology - but men swiping on everyone, women being picky, and other ancient habits are probably not on that list.
What you’re after is more than likely much closer to a traditionally arranged communion (dating, marriage, whatever). The filters, pre selection, etc, would be in place by design. As we all know, that isn’t going to fly at all. You’d get your head cut off (in Minecraft) if you suggested this to women today as a viable means of pairing with men.
What you’re looking at now is what happens when we take the facade of civilization, society, some concept of fairness etc in the “dating marketplace” and the filters away, and we show humans as they are. Their wants, needs, desires, desperations. And if things look bleak to you, I assure you, it’s not because of technology and it’s not something technology will fix.
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[ 3.5 ms ] story [ 102 ms ] threadThe community here needs to see more than a landing page to have a substantive discussion.
Seriously, though, what about developers who are looking for someone that brings other skills and interests to the relationship? Or people who like the idea of dating a developer, but aren't one themselves?
Then there's the issue that people might want to keep their developer/professional identity separate from their romantic identity, for reasons of privacy, security, and staying on the right side of HR.
If it's not too late to pivot, I would recommend using Wikipedia accounts as the user pool, since the site allows users to create their own Talk pages, on which they can add their interests and what they are looking for.
In my life dating, people like me just made for a rather boring relationship. My wife and I couldn't be more different of people, with wildly different interests, but it makes for always interesting conversation and learning from one another.
I dumped an ex-gf because she was going to be a doctor and that's not the life I wanted for my family.
There are plenty of developers who are quite different from yourself.
What being a developer seems to indicate is: making decent financial/career choices, willingness to automate away your job
Lol, out of curiosity, what does this mean?
Source: Dated a nurse. :-D
edit: Also they might be changing/rotating shifts, so for some time my date and me could only meet in the mornings on weekends.
Anyone who works with people whose health condition can change any moment.
Night shifts, holiday restrictions, inflexible hours.
Anyone who is married to a health professional will plan around their schedule.
This isn’t to say that I think developers dating developers is a bad idea, choosing a partner is the most personal possible choice and I’m glad to see an interesting new angle on it.
I appreciate the diversity and our different perspectives a lot, along with our ability to talk through differences together in a "we both win or we both lose" kinda dialogue, no shouting or anything, just a lot of back-and-forth sharing.
I'm biased perhaps, but I think science is fundamentally more interesting and rewarding than doing engineering for a FAANG. (disclaimer: I work for a FAANG but on more and more pure math stuff.)
I have to actively push myself to avoid talking about work, I enjoy it.
I get what a few people said about not wanting to be talking about work all the time, but for me, it's more about shared passions. I'd much rather be dating somebody who understands why some hack I did is particularly clever, and maybe even has a better one. I have trouble finding any real chemistry with people who aren't part of my world.
Regular dating app trying to appeal to women are already 90% men. A dating app appealing to a male-dominated demographic is going to have virtually no women at all.
https://whitelabelfox.com/tinder-clone-app/
https://queenmatrimony.com/
https://www.blind-me.com/en
It has no info about how it works, who runs it, etc. Just a random form. Maybe a phishing attempt? I wouldn't trust it...
Edit: I think there are a lot of sites in this vein, whitelabeled dating sites/apps that try to rip off the big ones by forming their own tiny niches. It doesn't necessarily mean it's fake, but even if it's real, the network is probably going to be so small as to be worthless.
Something about the "skinny vector people" just seemed really boilerplate to me, along with telltale signs of "someone used a bootstrap-like framework" like the cards not having the same vertical height. Nothing on the page made it seem like it was actually designed for a dev-centric service, it all just looked like it was ripped off a generic dating template. So I just wanted to confirm that hunch.
actual feedback: use graphics that aren’t heavily implying that this is only a platform for strictly male persons and female persons to meet.
it’s 2022. you could also just declare that as your intent but you won’t survive long imo.
I guess you really did mean “find people like you” as in you the developer?
https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
couldn't have chosen a worse demographic in my opinion, it's like a virtual engineering school dating scene(i.e probably not much fun ...)
but yeah, I agree. the gender ratio is bound to be wack.
It's hard for me to even imagine "coder" as a dating persona; why would anyone care? Income bracket, maybe, but there are already matchmaking services/filters for that. Passion for technology? Maybe, but there are already communities for that where you can meet others without the overbearing expectation of romance.
In general I think dating and social loneliness is already heavily lopsided against hetero men; women don't need a "find me a dev who wants to date me" app, their existence is constantly bombarded with that. Why would they ever sign up for something like this?
I don't know how this would play out for queer devs, so I won't speculate there.
And if you're a hetero woman dev, chances are your network is already filled with hordes of eligible bachelors a degree or two away -- if you even want to date in that pool.
I think that's the biggest "if" here... "devs" are not really a sexy stereotype in the way that date-an-athlete or date-a-doctor or date-a-rapper would be, I don't think. If anything, it probably hurts your chances. I certainly wouldn't go around throwing, "Hey babe, ever been with a dev?" Lol.
Straight up “hey hottie, wanna bang?” (75% of the time asked more crudely).
Asking for nudes before a first date.
It made the dudes who merely ignored her profile seem like Prince Charming.
I can’t tell if “maybe it works 2% of the time, so I’ll just fire off 100 ultra-low effort contacts and hope for a nibble” or if these guys are hopelessly clueless.
Then, though it might seem like a luxury, but if she left her profile up for a week, she’d have high double digits of new contacts on any of the larger sites every week. Finding the 2 or 3 good matches in the deluge of contacts, propositions, and dick pics was overwhelming.
I can see women wanting to “show me only a tiny sliver of the overall population, since the full firehose is far too much anyway”. Whether SWE is the right slice I can’t say, but it seems like there’s plenty of desire on both sides and plenty of disposable income from both sides.
If you're looking to develop another dating app perhaps look for ways to address the problems with existing ones. Here are a few examples: Horrible male to female ratio. Men swipe at everything, women are incredibly picky. F*boys. Female safety fears. Catfishing. Scams. Superficial decision making in matching. Ghosting. Lack of reputation building and tracking in the app. Crappy profiles. Old outdated pictures. Lack of actually wanting to meet.
My humble suggestion: Pivot and come up with something unique that makes online dating a notch better than it currently is.
What you’re after is more than likely much closer to a traditionally arranged communion (dating, marriage, whatever). The filters, pre selection, etc, would be in place by design. As we all know, that isn’t going to fly at all. You’d get your head cut off (in Minecraft) if you suggested this to women today as a viable means of pairing with men.
What you’re looking at now is what happens when we take the facade of civilization, society, some concept of fairness etc in the “dating marketplace” and the filters away, and we show humans as they are. Their wants, needs, desires, desperations. And if things look bleak to you, I assure you, it’s not because of technology and it’s not something technology will fix.
- be attractive
- be good at talking
- be respectful to women
- have a manic episode
- tell her how you feel, to her face
- tell her she’s attractive
Then once your mood stabilizes, if she didn’t report you to HR, you can probably escalate to cocktails.
Like most Lisp programmers, I'm only compatible with women who also program Lisp (unless they only know Emacs Lisp, of course).