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I stopped reading at buy a MacBook Pro.
Macbook Pro, objectively, has the best font rendering / display out there. Even on a nice screen, Linux font rendering is shit.
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MacBook Pro -> literally anything works

iTerm2 -> Foot/ Alacritty

Tide -> Starship

I kept waiting for the author to say why fish is so much better than zsh, and all I got was some unsubstantiated gnu-bashing.
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It’s pretty obviously satire and the author is just pointing out the absurdity of it all.