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Ask HN: How to regain my mind back?

55 points by L0in ↗ HN
Over the last few months i have created a few threads where i ask questions which exposed some insecurities and/or things that currently trouble me. In my last question i asked "How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?". The overwhelming number of answers in that thread really helped me. Since then my mind is a bit calmer, and my mental health is more stable. Now, this improvement is probably more due to start taking the correct medication around the same time i made the thread, but i do believe the variety, the diversity, but also uniformity of the answers helped me to put some things into perspective and changed my thinking.

From that point on I took the opportunity to make some small, but crucial changes in my every day life. Some change are: Thinking what i want my daily life to look like, what i have space for in my life, introducing rules on how i spend my time, stop using SM platforms, or limiting the usage to bare minimum for the platforms i need to have some access, exercising and more. The book "Digital minimalism" by Cal Newport informs my efforts. I highly recommend it.

Now, the reason i make this thread is because i have noticed that i «forgot» how to think and engage with others. What i mean by that, assuming that i once knew how to do these things, currently i feel i can't think, It's like my mind has become passive, just consuming without processing. I have difficulties with evaluating information when reading articles or when i participate in conversations, a lot of times i feel my mind blank like i have nothing to say (in serious and non-serious conversations), having difficulty forming opinions besides on basic black and white topics. Another example that i realized fairly recently is that i don't evaluate a comment, a post, etc on my own but rely on others opinions with the comments, upvotes/downvotes, shadowbanning, etc they do.

35 comments

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tempxyz
On years wasted on pointless things: The best time to plant a tree was 50 years ago, and the second best time is today.
runjake
- Reduce inputs (social media, etc as you mentioned).

- Exercise daily.

- Eat well. Don’t consume much: caffeine, alcohol, refined sugar.

- Get plenty of sleep.

- Read books.

And seriously consider:

- Speaking to a mental health counselor. They can be heaps of useful.

esperent
> Don’t consume much: caffeine, alcohol, refined sugar.

Alcohol and sugar agreed.

Moderate caffeine intake is largely considered to be beneficial though so I'd remove that from your list. Green tea, yerba mate, and coffee are all healthy beverages for most people. It's important to not drink too much or too late in the day so it doesn't affect sleep, but otherwise caffeine is generally healthy.

Huge meta analysis here. https://www.bmj.com/content/359/bmj.j5024

L0in
Funnily enough, I've never been into coffee. Probably because i haven't really explored the various flavors and types of coffee. But i do drink a lot of beverages that contains caffeine, and it's in my plans to stop entirely.
toombowoombo
Do you have other types of thoughts in those moments? What if your mind started focusing more on how it feels to breathe, or on how cold the smell around is or etc and that's why part of your mind stops the computation of the parts connected to the external communication connections?
toombowoombo
My point being: what if you have your mind fully active, but just focused on things that are more difficult to measure.
toombowoombo
Things that are unquantifiable, imponderable, invisible, etc.

Unsure how to describe them such that you have the same understanding as me.

metadat
You might not have noticed, you can go back and edit your comment up to an hour or two after posting.
ianai
It's ok to not process somethings/sometimes. For one, it frees the decision/thinking process up for better/more worthy mental pursuits as decision/thinking is a mental finite resource. For two, it buys time to remember there are other alternatives than the gut/first response.

You might just be seeing how void much discussion in various places actually is of true significance. (Going for walks has helped me see this before as it seems to 'clear the mind'.) Like that scene in Breaking Bad when Hank tells Walt to "shut up, he's already made up his mind. He's just waiting for you to shut up."

This might be a time for you to re-explore for yourself what your goals and definitions of what you want/don't want are. There are likely things/discussions within which you simply have no interest. This is healthy.

wruza
I’d make sure this “forgot” part was not induced by specific medications first. May turn out it’s a temporary and/or unavoidable effect.
L0in
It's not. I was in the same situation long before I started meditation
L0in
Correction: Medication
mikewarot
Thinking, seriously thinking about things, instead of relying on your preconceptions is hard, and consumes a lot of energy. We're biased towards not actually thinking. Passive watching of TV or YouTube after a day of thinking and problem solving is reasonable, as is the occasional dessert, but as we all know by now... it's not health to do exclusively.

Try to pay attention to circumstances around the feeling of "oh, that's too complicated."

koheripbal
I used to think that thinking differently, innovating, or really considering an argument outside your comfort zone, consumed a lot of "mental energy".

I've since learned that it's theorized to actually consume more physical energy to think hard.

So make sure you time your deep thinking time for a time of day when your energy level is up to it.

yucky
Not sure if it would work for you, but a friend of mine who was noticing something similar has joked on numerous occasions that what ended up working for him to get out of that funk was going on long walks and talking to himself, literally. Framing problems out in his head and then talking out solutions or different approaches or whatever out loud. The joke being that he regained his sanity by looking like a crazy person, but if it works...

Probably easier to do if you live near some woods, lest your neighbors try to have you committed.

L0in
I used to have automatic long conversations with myself and that really helped me. But after the start of an important period in my life the cognitive back and forth stopped, and a lot of times i tried to re-start it but my attempts were in vain.

For example: "What do i want to eat today"

"Yesterday you eat X but you being thinking about ordering Y for a long time"

"Yes, but i don't want to spend that much money for Y. It doesn't worth it. I can by Z with that money."

" Well... then thing something else... you can by something that costs less"

That back and forth also applied to more serious matters.

Railsify
exercise daily, shower daily, sleep at least 8 hours daily, read daily, eat minimal sugar/carbs, read daily, spend time with friends/family weekly.
timeon
> eat minimal sugar/carbs

Does this really influence the problem?

aintmeit
Some people just embrace losing their minds entirely.
sallystarace
Write a journal daily, an open letter to yourself. Articulate your thoughts, what is bothering you, what you are pleased with, as accurately as you can.
alecco
https://hubermanlab.com/ has a lot of great academic content on this
L0in
I've tried to listen his podcast, but i couldn't get into it. I don't know why. it's just puts me off. I don't think it's the content. The content was the main factor that made me check it out.
t0bia_s
Podcast are, for me, bad platform for learning new things. Text is more efficient to get useful information. So I understand you.
L0in
It's not the medium per se, although i space out a lot when i'm listening to something. But, i might being totally wrong, his podcast comes off as self-help voodo that comes from someone with a academic background.
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ilovhn
Have you considered seeing a neurologist?

Maybe you have a medical brain issue that could be identified.

ManlyBread
>a lot of times i feel my mind blank like i have nothing to say (in serious and non-serious conversations)

I know this feeling. I manage to overcome it by practicing small talk and being less afraid of voicing my real thoughts. For small talk any topic is fine, no matter how short and mundane. If you get into a habit of practicing small talk at every occasion it should help you talk about the things you actually care about. For expressing my real thoughts I've stopped giving "calculated" replies (like changing the wording in order to not upset / offend anyone) and started caring less about what other people think of me.

>having difficulty forming opinions besides on basic black and white topics

Go to any discussion board, pick any topic and play devil's advocate. It will help you interact with opinions that you disagree with and make you evaluate takes you wouldn't evaluate otherwise. This is especially effective if you pick a stance you personally disagree with.

michaelcao
I suffered depression when my father passed away so i found a transcendental meditation teacher and learn transcendental meditation and it changes my life. You can find the teacher at tm prg. Teacher will give you a mantra and you practive twice a day (20 minutes each time). You can read the book Strength in Stillness: The Power of Transcendental Meditation to learn more about it.
bvoq
Use it or loose it
t0bia_s
To be honest I envy your ability of not thinking. I think constantly. Would be nice to turn my brain off sometimes, and just exist.
L0in
You misunderstood me. I'm a full time overthinker with years of experience. My mind turns blank when i'm socializing within a group of people. The only thought i might have it's self-conscious thoughts.