I am 33 years old haven't gotten a programming job yet. I could be making so much money now if I'd done it years ago. I'm hoping to finally make that change in the next few months.
But I couldn't stick to one language or specialization, I have a bunch of half-working projects and nothing finished. I kept switching depending on what interested me at the time. And I kept putting it off due to poor mental health and travel.
I'll never catch up to people that started in their early 20s, but I hope I can figure out how to climb the ladde as quickly as possible.
If I could go back I would finish one thing before starting another.
I also wish I had studied computer vision at uni instead of being the idiot teenager that did game development.
Same here. Mid thirties. Friends are running successful companies, making 6 figures, in early retirement. I'm still living in a small apartment struggling with a Swiss cheese resume.
My advice to others: don't think "I'm still young, there's still time." Push push push today! You will rapidly run out of time. All through my twenties I did various jobs, I thought that great software job was just around the corner. Turns out it's not that easy and when you're older people expect a lot more from you.
Why not study medicine and become a doctor? The web dev industry is too ageist and mostly runs on churning new-grads, whereas as a doctor, gray hair is an advantage not a perceived "disability".
Or try less hip domains in SW development popular with gray beards like embedded. Pay isn't as hot as web dev, but age is not a problem.
Edit, since I'm comment throttled and can't reply: In my country studying medicine is free/vey cheap. And SW devs don't make six figures here so studying to become a doctor is way better for your bank account and job security than competing with thousands of new-grads in an ageist industry.
This is strange advice? I would assume becoming a doctor is hard, extremely expensive, takes a long time and not something you should go into because ‘you see your friends making 6 figures’
My daughter went to med school right out of college and is just now doing her last year of fellowship in her specialty. Next year, she'll be earning much more than I do. It was expensive, but not enormously so compared to what one will earn.
Webdev is risky as an older person if thats all you know because its the most popular, and therefore most competitive.
My advice is to use webdev as a backup to a specialisation of some kind, ideally something you can grow with. Embedded is a great choice, and its definitely more technical work.
I’ve been a software engineer for many years, I stick at it because I enjoy it. Paying well is secondary. It requires a lot of focus, but the enjoyment of solving problems and being creative, is what drives me, not financial. That’s why I still do it. If you can find that enjoyment, don’t worry about not catching up, it will come.
I read the number of developer jobs doubles every 5 years. So with 5 years experience you’d be in the top 50%
>I read the number of developer jobs doubles every 5 years
Is there any indication this will go on forever? Moore's law is also dead. At one point "software is eating the world" will also come to an end. In my city it's already more difficult to find a plumber than to find an app/web developer.
well, nothing is certain. My point was, starting is better than not starting and regretting that you are too late to start. Deciding what to start is the question.
> I'll never catch up to people that started in their early 20s, but I hope I can figure out how to climb the ladde as quickly as possible.
I was in a similar position a couple years ago. You don't need to catch up. Just pick a certain direction, i.e. frontend, backend, embedded, devops and stick to it. Once you got a certain years in the industry, it is easy to find better paying jobs and it is way easier to get hired.
> And I kept putting it off due to poor mental health and travel.
I've been you, quite literally. And with an extremely similar age timeline even.
I won't tell you _you will make it_ because we are not owed a specific outcome in exchange for our efforts, but I can tell you it can be done. Channel that regret into creating the proper scaffolding to propel yourself into trying to make it work.
If you don't end up _making it_ at least you will be able to say you did indeed try your best until you couldn't.
The ideal best time to do it was ten years ago. Next best time is today.
> I'll never catch up to people that started in their early 20s, but I hope I can figure out how to climb the ladde as quickly as possible.
I programmed from been a kid in the 80's, I truly loved it (still do) but I didn't start my full time career in programming til I was nearly 30 (I trained as an industrial electrician because I didn't think I was smart enough to be a software engineer - crippling self confidence issues and a horrific upbringing - ended up working minimum wage),
I shot up the ladder and in my early 40's I'm exactly where I would have been had I started at 21 - the later start and working different jobs in difference industries gave me a soft-skillset I wouldn't have otherwise gotten.
So while you are starting a few years after me its well within the realms of possibility if you get the right breaks.
Choosing to go to a mediocre university to study something weird instead of doing a CS degree at a prestigious university (I would have been able to get in).
For any thing I might wish had been different, there was a reason, whether I know it or not, that I did something that looks bad. I've become more able to accept my past even though things look quite bleak to me these days. In that past I learned some things that give me ideas of what I want to do now, and I'm grateful for that.
Recently I’ve told those close to me “any decision with enough hindsight can be seen as good or bad” - like we wanted to sell some Pixar Cars play sets a while ago but never got around to it in a year or so.
This week Disney+ just debuted Cars: On the Road a series and now they are popular again here at home. Went out and got them cleaned up and back in action. So failed at the sale goal for over a year, then they failure turned into a convenient win that was unforeseen cuz I had no idea a new Cars bit was coming.
I did get a hint at the grocery store though when I saw a new die cast character. Some kinda rusty monster truck. Yes…I am trying to collect them all…
Be careful with this regret. In my country you can go to jail if you punch people and harm them, even in self defense. Running away from fights is a better deal than having a police record.
Well waste is perhaps a strong word. But I bought a lot of unnecessary crap that I didn't need. I could've put a lot more money into investments and I would likely have double the amount of capital I have today.
Ha! I tell myself exactly the same thing, I even registered to Mt Gox (which I think - my memory is not to clear - included sending some identification papers) to finally just chickening out when it was time to put my money by instead asking my non-tech family what I should do - which of course was not to put money in that weird thing.
Now, I half have a large regret and half tell myself that I would have lost it all anyway.
The price of bitcoin went up so much after mtgox went bankrupt that the bitcoin the bankrupcy trustee has found is currently worth about $2.8 billion.
At some point in the next year or two, up to 90% of that will be returned to the 25,000 creditors who filled in the paperwork to make a claim years ago.
Meh, would probably have sold once my $10 investment reached $1000 or $10,000 or so anyways, no way most people would've kept their head cold (and _gambled_) on it going even further.
I let a divorce ruin me mentally during a pivotal year of my company. Had a rough valuation of ~100MM and blew my top 3 market position because I let my ex convince me that it was all my fault that our relationship failed. In reality she was just struggling with being gay. I stopped paying attention at work for about 18 months in an attempt to “save my family” but I just ended up losing everything. Oh well.
Thanks for sharing because it reminds me of a situation I went through which was similar in some ways. I had a back-to-back of really bad managers. Ever met people who are offended and basically angry that you are smarter than they are or ever will be?
I made good money in a terrible spot for 2 years. Dropped to 145 pounds or so at 5’7” (now 165 abd healthy). Broken emotionally and in spirit. The worst part? Those closest to me kept insisting I was being off base and Jeff wasn’t really that bad. Oh and don’t quit until you have the next job lined up, which even with 2 applications a week was useless at the time.
All of them were just afraid of instability or that I wouldn’t find work. Maybe at the time they were right. I’m also glad to share the following which I probably couldn’t have done without that awful experience…
In 2022 I discovered my role is getting massive raises, promotions, and work-life balance because of the stress that comes with deadline driven sales processes. Within 5 months I saw a dream job on paper be a bush-league cult pressure cooker. Also they were underpaying market rate by $10-15,000 in salary.
I spoke up about an issue and got Terminated for non job performance reasons. After 5 months there I just updated my resume and leave their name off because Momma told me if you don’t have anything nice to say…and I’m the job hunt in Fall 2022 it doesn’t matter. People are asking “when can you start?” more seriously than “why are you looking now?” because it’s obvious - the market is hot and six-figure gigs are falling out of the sky with signing bonuses for the first time ever.
So, as unsettling and not-their-comfort-level this time has been to them, for me it has been therapeutic and inspiring. I’m a finalist in 3 different firms, 2 are promotions, all pay $15,000 - $20,000 more in base salary so I can keep up with inflation, and hybrid office presence versus butt in chair for a Boomer’s sense of control.
Yea it’s a little over a month but the future is blindingly bright after all that suffering along the way. Yes I love the people who are bothered by this different approach, but it’s my goddamn life and I listened to them last time and it was shit so they can either get with reality or shut up and manage their own lives and leave mine alone.
Been there, employee #12 in 2016 at startup that created one of top ten cryptocurrencies. Was not crypto nut, I worked in research, friend gave me a gig. Disposed all crypto assets a few months before 2017 peak, bcos wanted simple divorce. Friends were telling me to convert everything to coins and run into Thailand LOL.
On the plus side, there are a lot of crypto bros here in Thailand and you could probably still find a blockchain to do research for if that's still your thing.
They keep telling me to buy Bitcoin, I keep buying beers instead...
I wish I had asked my dad more things and recorded/wrote them down.
My old man is in for stage 4 cancer and it gets harder to ask him things. Every little tidbit of info he gave me over the years I cherish greatly, but I often times (read: nearly always) forget the context or nuance of the statement, meaning that, of the thousands of moments I’ve had with him, only a select few are ones that provide me any insight into who he is/was and/or advice for my life. The rest are just passing thoughts that make me think “damn my dad was cool”, which is good in its own regard, but certainly not the same.
I don't know if it's any consolation, and I'm sure you've considered this, but it's impossible to remember and perfectly grasp the nuance of every moment spent with anyone. There's an inevitable loss, not just of the physical person, but the depth of their impact in your life. This is part of the nostalgia and sadness and joy of remembering loved ones.
I'm sorry to hear and I wish you and your dad the best. Hope you find peace and those moments in your head prove to be a forever lasting memory of a wonderful man.
My dad started writing me letters after major life events and birthdays, on new years, etc... I save them all.
They boil down to advice like being grateful for what you have, looking back and being proud at what you’ve accomplished, valuing the people in your life especially those that take time to help you, and realizing how lucky you are and at the same time encouraging working to put yourself in positions where you make your own luck.
They seem to come at the right time, after I have a phone conversation when I tell him I’ve failed at something or am frustrated with someone.
It’s less about him and more about me but it helps me remember the kind of man he was, one of the greats.
Forget nuance, what I would have given for one meaningful moment from my largely aloof old man. You are lucky to have that relationship in ways you'll never know.
My dad died earlier this year from prostate cancer. I wish deeply that I had spent more time with him, listened more closely to him. I lay awake every night thinking about lost opportunities I had during my life, moments when I chose to do anything other than just hang out with him.
You have a hard road ahead, I hope you have a support network filled with people who love you. I am a loner with no support network outside of my family and it has been fucking hard.
Im seriously considering asking my father to sit down with me and record all his stories I loved to hear growing up. I am not sure why, but I feel "uncomfortable" in some ways asking it. I know I will regret it one day when I am older and his gone, but I struggle to find the courage to ask for some reason.
I was always interested in IT, but studied business instead because my parents thought IT would be too stressful.
Ended up programming a distributed simulation optimization tool for my master thesis (in business), while already doing multiple online startups.
Do I regret not studying CS and following a SWE career? I really don't know because many skills from the business side have served me well too. Would I have started those companies without understanding customers, marketing, accounting, taxation, investing?
So I try not to regret things because I don't know the alternate timeline. Could be better, could be worse.
Similar story but I studied Physics. I've been on positions with more or less SW development, but switching to a real programmer job seems so hard while working full time...
If it makes you feel any better, I read a clickbait article this week on why young people shouldn't save for their retirement. The gist is that they can easily make up the difference in their high-earning older years, so it's not worth the sacrifice of trying to save in their low-earning years, especially when the market is flat. I don't necessarily agree, but it is a perspective I hadn't heard before.
I'd disagree with that, I think it's worth the sacrifice to learn the discipline needed to save. Think about what you'd spend it on otherwise? Something consumable, most likely. Something that won't have any benefit for you in the long run, or possibly even tomorrow.
Did you work from home? Because my attention span also dropped significantly during covid. What helped was getting out of the house to get some work done.
I'm in the exact boat as you. The burnout set in so slowly that I didn't realized I was burned out until I stopped working and had the time to look at my life.
That’s what happened to me with my second burnout. The first one hit me like a brick. I’m glad the second one isn’t as bad as the first one mentally. I regret not taking enough rest during my first burnout as I never fully recovered, this time I’m taking things more seriously.
Wow, that's a big one. I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like you've been through a lot. What was it about your job that burned you out? I'm sure this would be helpful for me to know, as well as others who may be in a similar situation.
Yes it will improve. Just make sure you give yourself time outside of work. You don't need to do fancy things, sometimes just getting food you never had before, go see a building, simple life is what saved me from burnout. It took me almost a year (after a change of job) to start living again fully and break off my self deprecation and focus issues.
going to an Ivy League university under a government scholarship, which I then regretted so badly I had to break my 6 year required work contract and pay back ~400k including interest. probably set my life back at least 10 years.
i shouldve tried harder to evaluate my options but at 16 i just went with what everyone said was a good enough path.
Interesting question, and it really boils down to "given what you know now, what would you have done differently in the past?"
Most regrets stem from poor information or prediction capability such as the story of the one that went into game development during college instead of a better course or the one that didn't focus on programming until late in life.
I think the biggest regrets doesn't come from lack of prediction or information but just from the lack of willingness to take risks.
Life is finite and so whether we take risks or not, we all end-up in the same place; but to those who took risks and it paid-off, the journey is much more pleasant and the reckoning at the end is much more fruitful.
Of course this is just a platitude and isn't really that helpful, since there are a lot of risk-takers that just end-up dead or worse-off.
But the idea is that a person can't win by not taking risks since we're all dead anyways and so maybe a calculated risk is the answer.
If you live and work in Ireland for 5 yrs you can become Irish as well as British, and effectively get your EU rights back. If I was younger, I'd be very tempted. Of course this door may not be open for ever with united Ireland on the horizon. If you don't do it, you may end up replying "I wish I had" to an identical Q to this on HN in 20 yrs time ;)
I’m quite familiar with Ireland (I’ve lived there), and the Irish government’s process for citizen applications. Hard no from me for various reasons. It’s why I said “other than Ireland”.
I have other options though and I’m actively exploring them. But unsurprisingly none are “easy” :-)
Care to spill the beans on why "Hard no?". I have to say that seeing the way the UK is going, (or should I say England since the rest of the UK probably will break off before long, Scotland for sure) , Ireland looks tempting to me. I'd worry about anti-English sentiment there. People bitch about the Irish health service but NHS probably no better now it seems to me.
I regularly suffer homophobia. (I still visit regularly). I’ve been spat at, intimidated on public transport, stared at, pointed at, ignored in cafes etc. Never experienced that anywhere in the UK…or anywhere else I’ve traveled and lived.
Your concerns about anti English sentiment are valid. I got tired of the “we’re just joking” excuse.
The housing crisis is extreme. Foreigners often think it can’t be that bad. It’s 10x worse than you think.
Car centric society (understandable - it’s been built that way).
Similar issues to the UK when it comes to landlord politicians, housing policies, healthcare, transport, prices etc.
Hard to make true friends. That’s from my friends who have lived there over 10 years and are very sociable people.
I could go on but it’ll be opinion and not direct experience and I don’t want to offend any Irish people reading this.
Thank you for taking time to reply :) I'm very sorry you had that experience especially homophobia. After asking the reasons, I wondered if you'd come back and say you were non-white , which seems to be not be fun to be particularly in some rural parts of Ireland. I know an Indian guy who was happy in Dublin last time I spoke to him... but have heard horror stories too.
I have a number of lovely Irish friends. Some living here in England, some I met in USA. At the same time, if people from a minority group are having a hard time in Ireland, I think its fair to call that out and its not an insult to the Irish in general. Of course, Britain was very homophobic in the not so distant past too.
Yeah Ireland does actually seem more car-centric than England, partly just comes of being less densely populated (which is one of the nice things).
My impression is housing crisis even worse in Ireland then England. England at least has affordable regional cities especially in Midlands and North.
One thing I really missed when going to Ireland on holiday, was the English Rights of Way legislation. We have clear public footpaths here, whereas in Ireland, access and relationships with landowners seems more sketchy.
However, for us English, and our kids, our own country seems to be going completely mad, and Ireland is an obvious way to have an insurance policy a.k.a EU passport. Then again, looks like a lot of EU countries are going a bit mad right now. I'm not convinced that the EU people were sad to exit from, will be the same sort of EU in 20 yrs time.
that I wasn't braver as a teenager and that I didn't stand up and fight for myself until I was much older. So many years lost to suffering because I was too afraid of consequences...
At the same time, around middle school something snapped and I stopped caring much about consequences, got in a fair bit of trouble that ended up costing me opportunities down the line.
Great question. I wish I would not change anything. Sometimes, I wanted to get out of technology and tried to find another job. Nonetheless, it was a waste of time. I should focus on software development because it's my strength. All of us should use our strength to be a giver. Money will follow.
That can be survivorship bias. Money will follow if you have a great network and/or live in a hot area with tons of networking and jobs opportunities for your trade.
Being good at what you do is not always enough to succeed financially.
Last week, actually. Was a bit careless and inebriated while working on a demo and suddenly I realized I had luksFormatted the luks partition holding the only copy of keys for cryptocurrency worth ~$200k. That was a sizable fraction if my supposed net worth. Either I'm still in denial or I've risen above obsessive materialism as it doesn't affect me too much so far, though. Its just money.
Unplugged the drive and haven't touched it since but I'm not holding my hopes up.
Same here, lost the keys to a sizeable wallet that was god knows how big at one point, I stopped checking a while ago but it was a good exercise in letting go and learning to value other things. I can't complain, most of my regrets are related to how I spent or wasted money, there's worse things and life went on to turn out great regardless of my net worth.
It bothers my ex much more than it does me. She has contacted me on at least five separate occasions asking me if I had reconsidered my decision to not search for the old desktop the wallet resided on.
cryptsetup luksFormat on sdx3 with default parameters over an existing partition with (I think) the same parameters but a different passphrase. Realized my mistake shortly after typing "YES" and I don't think further writes happened since.
Like mentioned in other comment, I'd def shell out a portion of the money to recover the rest but not sure where to start. Given the amount I'm hesitant to do any further operations myself with the drive (Samsung evo SSD) plugged in.
I'm not in a position to advise, but I'd try a few recovery firms- given the context, they should be able to provide realistic estimates on what's possible. Even if it's 10% of whatever is inside if you are successful.
Everything and Nothing. Leaving the comfort zone more often is something which will make you grow. And I didn't do that in the past. Bit of a life story:
I'm 36 now. When I turned 22 in 2008, my mom surprised me with her having sarcoidosis, a disease which will turn functional cells into non-functional ones. Quite an issue when it starts in your lungs. A year later, my father surprised me with him having cancer.
Long story short, they passed away in 2013 and 2017. I should also mention that I have four younger siblings. I raised my little sister until the beginning of 2020, when she turned 18. And then, the pandemic hit.
I wish I'd talked more to my dad. I wish I would have been more socially active, would have gone on a fishing trip with him. Worked on the car. You know? Things you do with your dad. Instead, I buried myself knee-deep into coding. I read books. But I missed life.
And I accumulated debt. Oh, am I in debt right now. 46k still left to pay off, with which I'm struggeling.
And the path I choose? Up to today, I don't even know if it's the right one. I'm a coder. But from time to time, I need external validation. I need "the stage". And I love to teach other people stuff. Working from home, I realized that I don't have any problem talking directly into a camera. Just recently, I moderated a panel discussion with 7 participants and an audience of ~100 people. I wasn't aware of me being able to do that. But there were people in my company who believed in me and said "Do it!" and I decided to leave my comfort zone.
That was maybe the best feeling I had for a long, long time.
tl;dr:
a) Avoid the debt trap
b) Spend time with your loved ones, as much as you can. Grow bonds.
c) Leave your comfort zone. Experiment. And never be afraid to fail.
Kudos to your strength and caring for your siblings.
> I need "the stage".
Maybe this can be fixed easily? Like go on conference on behalf of your company and give a talk?
I also work from home 99%. Recently, we did a non-profit event and sold some kind of lottery tickets. Proceeds were donated 100% for local causes. Getting out there and selling tickets for 3-6 hours actually gave me energy. I had conversations with strangers that just went extremely fluid. I enjoyed that, but would hate to do it as a full time job.
Thank you! Yes, I'm currently trying to get more involved on that side. Also, outside of my job, but I'd like to have some training there. Which is currently, from a financial point of view, not possible. But I'll figure it out, as always. :)
I've consciously moved on from ruminating on the past and replaying alternate timelines in my mind, to thinking about what I actually can change: the present, and the future.
Life is a blind let's play. It's more fun to watch exactly because you don't know what's going to happen. Having the ability to play it again would destroy consequence, and thus meaning, to one's actions.
Spending extraordinary amounts of time thinking about the past got me literally nowhere. When I realized this, practically every problem in my life started unwinding and I found friends, love, passion, work, and peace.
Once I came to the conclusion that past actions only have a limited affect on the immediate present - like real genuine hooks versus memories of stuff - then life is a series of situational decisions. Trying to get them all “right” is a fool’s errand leading to heartache. On the flip side, it gives lots of chances to try and live out personal principles and perspectives on how to operate in this life, and takes away the guilt of existing with consciousness a little, and for me, makes each day a bit more fun.
It’s almost like being able to walk through walls in Doom (clipping life) - very powerful and a lot of people look on and wonder “how do you do that?” because I am a genuinely happy guy.
Agree. I often tell myself, and others, when bad things happen: Eventually, something good will happen, and you had to go through the bad things to get there.
That said, it’s hard not to regret getting a real band together while my voice was still there.
Idea and execution had potential but I lacked networking or courage. Also professors was really dismissive about it. I could have it used in 2 different courses only.
I wished I pushed it harder to even different universities and courses.
Nothing. If we were to go back in time, we'd make the same `mistakes' again as that's who we _were_ (its the cumulative development since those points in time that gave a different perspective that would make us act differently).
Most of our life is failures. Once I hit a particularly low point (and also with age), I appreciate the journey much much more as cliche as it sounds. For a different reason - with an expectation to mostly fail, we are set free to truly live.
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[ 7.4 ms ] story [ 306 ms ] threadBut I couldn't stick to one language or specialization, I have a bunch of half-working projects and nothing finished. I kept switching depending on what interested me at the time. And I kept putting it off due to poor mental health and travel.
I'll never catch up to people that started in their early 20s, but I hope I can figure out how to climb the ladde as quickly as possible.
If I could go back I would finish one thing before starting another.
I also wish I had studied computer vision at uni instead of being the idiot teenager that did game development.
My advice to others: don't think "I'm still young, there's still time." Push push push today! You will rapidly run out of time. All through my twenties I did various jobs, I thought that great software job was just around the corner. Turns out it's not that easy and when you're older people expect a lot more from you.
Or try less hip domains in SW development popular with gray beards like embedded. Pay isn't as hot as web dev, but age is not a problem.
Edit, since I'm comment throttled and can't reply: In my country studying medicine is free/vey cheap. And SW devs don't make six figures here so studying to become a doctor is way better for your bank account and job security than competing with thousands of new-grads in an ageist industry.
My advice is to use webdev as a backup to a specialisation of some kind, ideally something you can grow with. Embedded is a great choice, and its definitely more technical work.
I read the number of developer jobs doubles every 5 years. So with 5 years experience you’d be in the top 50%
Is there any indication this will go on forever? Moore's law is also dead. At one point "software is eating the world" will also come to an end. In my city it's already more difficult to find a plumber than to find an app/web developer.
I was in a similar position a couple years ago. You don't need to catch up. Just pick a certain direction, i.e. frontend, backend, embedded, devops and stick to it. Once you got a certain years in the industry, it is easy to find better paying jobs and it is way easier to get hired.
I've been you, quite literally. And with an extremely similar age timeline even.
I won't tell you _you will make it_ because we are not owed a specific outcome in exchange for our efforts, but I can tell you it can be done. Channel that regret into creating the proper scaffolding to propel yourself into trying to make it work.
If you don't end up _making it_ at least you will be able to say you did indeed try your best until you couldn't.
The ideal best time to do it was ten years ago. Next best time is today.
I programmed from been a kid in the 80's, I truly loved it (still do) but I didn't start my full time career in programming til I was nearly 30 (I trained as an industrial electrician because I didn't think I was smart enough to be a software engineer - crippling self confidence issues and a horrific upbringing - ended up working minimum wage),
I shot up the ladder and in my early 40's I'm exactly where I would have been had I started at 21 - the later start and working different jobs in difference industries gave me a soft-skillset I wouldn't have otherwise gotten.
So while you are starting a few years after me its well within the realms of possibility if you get the right breaks.
Good Luck!.
This week Disney+ just debuted Cars: On the Road a series and now they are popular again here at home. Went out and got them cleaned up and back in action. So failed at the sale goal for over a year, then they failure turned into a convenient win that was unforeseen cuz I had no idea a new Cars bit was coming.
I did get a hint at the grocery store though when I saw a new die cast character. Some kinda rusty monster truck. Yes…I am trying to collect them all…
Everything else was wasted.
Now, I half have a large regret and half tell myself that I would have lost it all anyway.
At some point in the next year or two, up to 90% of that will be returned to the 25,000 creditors who filled in the paperwork to make a claim years ago.
Did keep a couple as a hedge fortunately.
I console myself in the fact that I would have sold any Bitcoin I might have mined well before the price really took off.
I made good money in a terrible spot for 2 years. Dropped to 145 pounds or so at 5’7” (now 165 abd healthy). Broken emotionally and in spirit. The worst part? Those closest to me kept insisting I was being off base and Jeff wasn’t really that bad. Oh and don’t quit until you have the next job lined up, which even with 2 applications a week was useless at the time.
All of them were just afraid of instability or that I wouldn’t find work. Maybe at the time they were right. I’m also glad to share the following which I probably couldn’t have done without that awful experience…
In 2022 I discovered my role is getting massive raises, promotions, and work-life balance because of the stress that comes with deadline driven sales processes. Within 5 months I saw a dream job on paper be a bush-league cult pressure cooker. Also they were underpaying market rate by $10-15,000 in salary.
I spoke up about an issue and got Terminated for non job performance reasons. After 5 months there I just updated my resume and leave their name off because Momma told me if you don’t have anything nice to say…and I’m the job hunt in Fall 2022 it doesn’t matter. People are asking “when can you start?” more seriously than “why are you looking now?” because it’s obvious - the market is hot and six-figure gigs are falling out of the sky with signing bonuses for the first time ever.
So, as unsettling and not-their-comfort-level this time has been to them, for me it has been therapeutic and inspiring. I’m a finalist in 3 different firms, 2 are promotions, all pay $15,000 - $20,000 more in base salary so I can keep up with inflation, and hybrid office presence versus butt in chair for a Boomer’s sense of control.
Yea it’s a little over a month but the future is blindingly bright after all that suffering along the way. Yes I love the people who are bothered by this different approach, but it’s my goddamn life and I listened to them last time and it was shit so they can either get with reality or shut up and manage their own lives and leave mine alone.
They keep telling me to buy Bitcoin, I keep buying beers instead...
My old man is in for stage 4 cancer and it gets harder to ask him things. Every little tidbit of info he gave me over the years I cherish greatly, but I often times (read: nearly always) forget the context or nuance of the statement, meaning that, of the thousands of moments I’ve had with him, only a select few are ones that provide me any insight into who he is/was and/or advice for my life. The rest are just passing thoughts that make me think “damn my dad was cool”, which is good in its own regard, but certainly not the same.
I hope you and your dad are both doing well.
They boil down to advice like being grateful for what you have, looking back and being proud at what you’ve accomplished, valuing the people in your life especially those that take time to help you, and realizing how lucky you are and at the same time encouraging working to put yourself in positions where you make your own luck.
They seem to come at the right time, after I have a phone conversation when I tell him I’ve failed at something or am frustrated with someone.
It’s less about him and more about me but it helps me remember the kind of man he was, one of the greats.
Either way, sorry to hear about his condition.
My dad died earlier this year from prostate cancer. I wish deeply that I had spent more time with him, listened more closely to him. I lay awake every night thinking about lost opportunities I had during my life, moments when I chose to do anything other than just hang out with him.
You have a hard road ahead, I hope you have a support network filled with people who love you. I am a loner with no support network outside of my family and it has been fucking hard.
I was with my Dad in his final hours, but it wasn't until after he'd passed that it occurred to me to thank him, and it still upsets me 3 years later.
Ended up programming a distributed simulation optimization tool for my master thesis (in business), while already doing multiple online startups.
Do I regret not studying CS and following a SWE career? I really don't know because many skills from the business side have served me well too. Would I have started those companies without understanding customers, marketing, accounting, taxation, investing?
So I try not to regret things because I don't know the alternate timeline. Could be better, could be worse.
1) that your spending needs won't increase as your salary does.
2) that your salary meaningfully increases over time (more true for the top 15% than for 85% of others)
Unless hiperinflation.
I’ve since switched jobs after a break but I still struggle with focus and attention span. Hoping that improves over time.
Did you work from home? Because my attention span also dropped significantly during covid. What helped was getting out of the house to get some work done.
i shouldve tried harder to evaluate my options but at 16 i just went with what everyone said was a good enough path.
Most regrets stem from poor information or prediction capability such as the story of the one that went into game development during college instead of a better course or the one that didn't focus on programming until late in life.
I think the biggest regrets doesn't come from lack of prediction or information but just from the lack of willingness to take risks.
Life is finite and so whether we take risks or not, we all end-up in the same place; but to those who took risks and it paid-off, the journey is much more pleasant and the reckoning at the end is much more fruitful.
Of course this is just a platitude and isn't really that helpful, since there are a lot of risk-takers that just end-up dead or worse-off.
But the idea is that a person can't win by not taking risks since we're all dead anyways and so maybe a calculated risk is the answer.
Not saving enough when younger
Not moving to Europe when it was easier to do so (I’m British)
Oh well. Life is too short to dwell on such things. You can only change the future, not the past.
I have other options though and I’m actively exploring them. But unsurprisingly none are “easy” :-)
Your concerns about anti English sentiment are valid. I got tired of the “we’re just joking” excuse.
The housing crisis is extreme. Foreigners often think it can’t be that bad. It’s 10x worse than you think.
Car centric society (understandable - it’s been built that way).
Similar issues to the UK when it comes to landlord politicians, housing policies, healthcare, transport, prices etc.
Hard to make true friends. That’s from my friends who have lived there over 10 years and are very sociable people.
I could go on but it’ll be opinion and not direct experience and I don’t want to offend any Irish people reading this.
That can be survivorship bias. Money will follow if you have a great network and/or live in a hot area with tons of networking and jobs opportunities for your trade.
Being good at what you do is not always enough to succeed financially.
Unplugged the drive and haven't touched it since but I'm not holding my hopes up.
Life does go on.
Like mentioned in other comment, I'd def shell out a portion of the money to recover the rest but not sure where to start. Given the amount I'm hesitant to do any further operations myself with the drive (Samsung evo SSD) plugged in.
I'm 36 now. When I turned 22 in 2008, my mom surprised me with her having sarcoidosis, a disease which will turn functional cells into non-functional ones. Quite an issue when it starts in your lungs. A year later, my father surprised me with him having cancer.
Long story short, they passed away in 2013 and 2017. I should also mention that I have four younger siblings. I raised my little sister until the beginning of 2020, when she turned 18. And then, the pandemic hit.
I wish I'd talked more to my dad. I wish I would have been more socially active, would have gone on a fishing trip with him. Worked on the car. You know? Things you do with your dad. Instead, I buried myself knee-deep into coding. I read books. But I missed life.
And I accumulated debt. Oh, am I in debt right now. 46k still left to pay off, with which I'm struggeling.
And the path I choose? Up to today, I don't even know if it's the right one. I'm a coder. But from time to time, I need external validation. I need "the stage". And I love to teach other people stuff. Working from home, I realized that I don't have any problem talking directly into a camera. Just recently, I moderated a panel discussion with 7 participants and an audience of ~100 people. I wasn't aware of me being able to do that. But there were people in my company who believed in me and said "Do it!" and I decided to leave my comfort zone.
That was maybe the best feeling I had for a long, long time.
tl;dr:
a) Avoid the debt trap
b) Spend time with your loved ones, as much as you can. Grow bonds.
c) Leave your comfort zone. Experiment. And never be afraid to fail.
> I need "the stage".
Maybe this can be fixed easily? Like go on conference on behalf of your company and give a talk?
I also work from home 99%. Recently, we did a non-profit event and sold some kind of lottery tickets. Proceeds were donated 100% for local causes. Getting out there and selling tickets for 3-6 hours actually gave me energy. I had conversations with strangers that just went extremely fluid. I enjoyed that, but would hate to do it as a full time job.
Life is a blind let's play. It's more fun to watch exactly because you don't know what's going to happen. Having the ability to play it again would destroy consequence, and thus meaning, to one's actions.
Spending extraordinary amounts of time thinking about the past got me literally nowhere. When I realized this, practically every problem in my life started unwinding and I found friends, love, passion, work, and peace.
It’s almost like being able to walk through walls in Doom (clipping life) - very powerful and a lot of people look on and wonder “how do you do that?” because I am a genuinely happy guy.
That said, it’s hard not to regret getting a real band together while my voice was still there.
this might say something deep about the interative process of software development. perhaps we should only get one try.
Idea and execution had potential but I lacked networking or courage. Also professors was really dismissive about it. I could have it used in 2 different courses only.
I wished I pushed it harder to even different universities and courses.
Most of our life is failures. Once I hit a particularly low point (and also with age), I appreciate the journey much much more as cliche as it sounds. For a different reason - with an expectation to mostly fail, we are set free to truly live.