Ask HN: Frustrated and stressed: Maang remote work and new team advice
I'm on a team where I have 15 years of experience in the language that's used for most of the work whereas everyone else is 1-3.
1. They don't ask for my advice.
2. I don't have much to work on. I'm supposed to "find" projects and room for improvement but I don't have any way to gather input or ask what the pain points are. I shouldn't bother working on things unless they're going to move the needle otherwise there's no credit toward performance.
3. They barely communicate with me.
4. They talk over me in meetings.
5. They don't ask for my input.
6. They don't give me feedback.
7. They don't ask me for feedback.
8. They skip 1:1 meetings.
9. They don't answer my questions.
10. They treat me like a non person.
11. They treat me like a secretary in the larger company meetings.
12. I keep asking myself: "Why am I here? What's the point?"
There's a hiring freeze and my manager's manager said "it will all be better once you meet the team in person."
a. What would you do specifically? If you want to know more to give a better answer, please ask.
b. Should I just work on my own things, up my skills, learn the environment, and prepare to change teams?
c. What's the point of going to work if you're bored and have nothing meaningful to do?
23 comments
[ 2.8 ms ] story [ 64.3 ms ] threade. I'm also working on my own side projects mostly related to automated installs of high-availability k8s, a minified server-oriented Linux distribution similar to CoreOS/Arch/Alpine, and the Rust ecosystem.
Have they recently been “burned” by another seasoned engineer and are not open to advice or feedback? Team abuse happens and it sucks to walk into that.
Set a deadline today for measurable things to improve. You have a good list of measurable things to start with. Discuss this with your manager. Measure progress and if they haven’t improved by your deadline, leave.
My manager is difficult to get any time with and they're basically never around.
Edit: Also, the senior people aren't interested in career advancement and I can't interest them in what comes after the craptastic technical debt we're working on supposedly cleaning up. I've been told not to touch X and Y because it's "special code". I feel like my hands are being tied behind my back and being setup to fail.
One of my coworkers flat-out said he "Just here for a job and to go home at the end of the day." No curiosity, not interested in learning, and they don't have a software development background.
I'm looking for contacts in other departments, making notes of what sort of pain points there are at-scale, and trying to meet people who are outside the department.
That's literally it. As in, not just algorithms (the "leetcode" per se), but also design/architecture interviews. And then, applying ad nauseam, until you get in.
I’m going to give it a year, and if it doesn’t get better then I’m out. I’m going to continue being very clear with them about what I want and will offer specific solutions but if it doesn’t change then I’m out.
You do you but if you’re asking if you should be interviewing then you probably should trust your gut.
Sonewhat assuming so, I think when a team does not trust a person to get a lot done, they give them less. I think this can also snowball, lack of direction leads to churn and lots of lag time to get answers to hit task completion, which leads to slower task completion and more team apathy/disengage.
IMO, just focus on the tasks given to you. Get them done to a T, nothing extra, and be somewhat public about noting a recent task done.
I think this is something of a personal branding/perception problem. After some time of knocking things out of the park, there will be evidence for why the team should engage you.
I don't think this a healthy team dynamic, trust I think should be the default until otherwise rather than an earned thing. (If a manager requires a new hire to prove their trustworthiness, it can put a person in a catch-22 where the they can't prove their trustworthiness until they are trusted)
In the meantime, consider changing how you look at this situation so that at least while you work to solve it you don't feel stressed out.
I recommend reading on stoicism first thing in the morning before dealing with work.
Why don’t you initiate any change you’d like to see in the team or in the codebase?
It might be a shitty team, but in the end it’s your responsibility to be proactive.
If i hire someone with 15 yoe i expect him to be the provider of ideas and solutions, not a consumer.
Of course I would also communicate my expectations upfront and help realize them. But there’s only so many good managers in the world.
If your management doesn't respect and value you specially they will send signals to everyone else that you can be ignored. Like it or not, your peers entirely look to your management for who to respect and listen to and ignore.
If your VP etc are not telling them: "This guy is the shit! So valuable" they will ignore you. Nothing you can say or do will fix it. No heroic acts or genius insights will work.
Your peers are just drones that do what they are told. They will obey the signals being sent to them. If your management does not respect you and listen to you, no one is going to respect and listen to you.
I had 10+ years of experience in a particular domain at a leading FAANG-like company. In fact, I was a leading expert. The VP of that group felt threatened by me and sent signals to stomp and ignore me. So guess what? That's what my peers did.
I am sorry but nothing you can do will fix the above situation other than working for management who respect you. I left that situation and report directly to the CEO of my current company, who loves me.
Furthermore:
If you want to work with competent people, I have learned my lesson. Big companies are a complete waste of time. Everyone sucks, just does what they are told, there is no creativity and the talent level is low (as well as motivation level) even at the very top companies.
What snapped me out of it was reading an article by a recruiter who flat said: "Big companies don't actually want talented people, because they just argue with management. They want people in the middle of the pack who generally obey orders."
Will never go back to a large multi-thousand person company for the sake of my soul and sanity.
Finally:
All the signs you just outlined are signs of a company with way too many people who aren't being productive. That means arbitrary lay offs are coming.
If you're just starting out in your career it makes more sense to tough out a situation like this, but for someone who has already put in a few years there's no reason to hang out on a team you don't get along with.