Ask HN: Is it possible to have a structured work day in software dev?

149 points by vcool07 ↗ HN
Lately, I feel exhausted with all the late night meetings thats required of me at work. Discussed it with my manager few months ago and he offered to take me off on-call rotation and put me in a leadership role. While this was good initially, lately this has come up with its own set of challenges, where in I'm required to have nightly meetings with other teams who are outside of my timezone. Since I'm in a leadership role now, my manager says its inevitable as I've to be present in these meetings.

I feel so burned out and anxious all the time, not because of overwork, but due to a lack of formal structure in my work day.

I'm thinking of starting out on my own someday, but I wonder, is it even realistic to have a 9-5 kind of structure in IT/software dev field ? Whether i work for a big org / startup / myself, is it inevitable that I have to work round the clock and I've to accept it as a way of life ? Is there a sub-field in software dev where in I can login at a specific time / logout at a specific time and not have to worry about work after I log out.

PS: Honestly speaking, I used to work at IT service industry not too long ago (perhaps in mid 2000s), where I was working on a boxed software. Except for some crunch time during major releases, there was no pager duty expected, the pay was average at best and work was monotonous bug fixing, but I felt much more at peace since work was always predictable most of the time. With this on-call culture thanks to the 99.99 uptime thats become the de-facto industry standard for most companies, I wonder whether such companies exist anymore !

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Sounds like you are being overworked. A 9-5 as an Eng Manager is achievable, but you might need to jump ship to find it.

Working late has a huge knock-on effect on your social life and ability to interact with society around you. That's probably contributing to your burnout.

If there's budget or willingness, having someone in that timezone who can perform your role for that meeting may be possible.

I'd be very wary of taking any regular work outside of your contracted hours unless there is a lot of $$$$ involved and your relationships can survive it.

You might get some mileage out of a long vacation, or agressively pruning your work hours.

Usually the company will arrange meeting time that's closest with both parties working hour. Let's say between 6-8 AM or 18-20 PM. Otherwise that very late time meeting will be rare and in special situation.

Having that kind of meeting be regular sounds like a bad management to me.

Sure. Get a job at an insurance or a bank
I used to work as a programmer for an investment bank. Got in at 10 AM, left at 6 PM. Almost never thought about work outside of those hours.
Spot on. Usually bank has a very strict working schedule apart from production issues.
Fun technical challenges.

Predictable, steady work schedule.

Nice compensation package.

Pick two (at most). Sometimes you‘re really lucky, but it won‘t stay forever as the organization will drift into one of the corners naturally.

Note it‘s okay to re-pick occasionally as sometimes you need one more than the other in life.

I sure did, and found some peace in this great article from NYT: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15107818

I honestly think the solution for your problem is much easier than you think. Find a new job. It looks like this company will always find a way to overwork you, one way or another. It's not everywhere as toxic, so I'd start looking for something better.
Your company is badly managed.

Mine also has international teams across the globe and we don't regularly have meetings at unreasonable hours (except for employees in India)

This is done by not expecting managers in Europe to manage day to day work going on in Asia, etc.

Your company doesn't value your well being and you should leave.

As a Software Dev in India, we are always screwed with unreasonable work timings working for local or international companies
> ... I wonder, is it even realistic to have a 9-5 kind of structure in IT/software dev field ?

Sure it is. The company must be small enough to not have interational clients or big enough to have dedicated support team for different timezone. But not that big to have entire dev team in different timezone you need to communicate with. Or even bigger to have also management in every time zone necessary.

My friend works as a dev in a big corporate software company and has a stable schedule. Not 9-5 but more like 11-7 by his own choice. He said his colleages with familly life can start at 7 and be home after 3pm.

There're some good comments on this thread.

This seems like an issue with the Org given the information posted, but it also seems like you have a somewhat supportive manager. There is a lot of merit for considering finding a new role or a more "temporally normal" Org.

If your goal is to only work a 9-5 schedule starting your own company may not be the best option, but YMMV.

Good luck!

It is absolutely possible. Where I work, developers have no more than 4-6 hours of meetings per week!

We do meandering sync calls[1] for 1 hour, four times a week. Plus a weekly demo call.

It's a matter of how much your management cares about developer experience and efficiency. Get another job :)

[1]: https://www.honeycomb.io/blog/standup-meetings-are-dead/

> We do meandering sync calls[1] for 1 hour, four times a week. Plus a weekly demo call.

Whatever works for your team and company, but this sounds excruciatingly inefficient and disruptive. This means that your entire team is interrupted for at least an hour every day, to be part of a meeting that may or may not be productive.

IMO meetings should be anything but meandering. They should have a clear agenda, a strict start and end time, and everyone should be clear on what the outcome was and what was agreed.

Addressing some of the points of the article you linked:

> No one reads async stand-ups.

> If you dig into the “everything async” world you will find the teams that do it best are actually lying.

That might be your experience, but is not objectively true. In my company we use Geekbot, and while I can't speak for everyone, most people do read the async updates.

Let's keep in mind what standups are: quick meetings (15m tops; that's why they're done standing up), where the team can synchronize on work in progress, and address any blocking issues. If there are no blockers for my team members, do I really need to know what they're working on? That should be obvious from regular communication over Slack or GitHub.

So the whole concept of daily meetings, even quick ones, is not strictly necessary. Extending this to an hour daily, and repurposing it for general banter or other regular meetings, seems very unstructured and chaotic.

> Creating a daily social space for the team builds trust and compassion. We get to learn about each other’s hobbies, interests, and lives outside of work.

Ah, so you're using these meetings for social activities. Personally, I don't think knowing my coworkers on a personal level is required to have a professional and cordial relationship. Everyone is different, and I appreciate that others do need that sense of connection, but I wouldn't enjoy forced social activities. At my company we do optional one on one and group sessions specifically for banter and getting to know each other. These can be fun, but the good thing is that they're entirely optional, and are scheduled precisely for this one purpose.

In addition to this, there can be game sessions and, preferably, physical meetups that can serve to create this personal connection, but again, I don't think any of it is strictly necessary to work with someone. There are completely distributed teams that have never met in person, that have established sufficient rapport and trust between them to do great collaborative work. "Teams will always work better when they know one another" is objectively wrong.

The entire concept of forced social activities is reminiscent of large corporate environments where management thinks team building exercises are what makes teams do great work. This always felt cringy, fake and ultimately didn't result in anything. Trust is built naturally by working with someone; not by being forced to learn about their personal lives. The fact our working environments have shifted to being mostly online doesn't change that fact.

> Finally, it actually reduces meetings and interruptions for the team. When we have a team retro, we do it during the sync. Weekly, monthly, quarterly planning—it all happens during the sync.

Frankly, this sounds awful. This means that people are never sure what the purpose of the meeting is and how long it will last. Doing these daily would absolutely interrupt any activity that requires long periods of concentration, such as programming. I would much prefer to have days without any meetings at all, and have scheduled meetings for a specific purpose.

Also, you have quarterly, monthly and weekly planning meetings? That sounds overly excessive.

But again, if all this somehow works for you, then by all means, keep at it. But most of these would be deal breakers for me to work in such an environment, and you shouldn't present this advice as something that wi...

If 'emergency' is the default way of working leave, there are no justification for that.
I'll be completely honest: I work at small indie game dev studio with friends. This means we have to crunch for release, work every day and stay at night sometimes. Nobody force me to do it, but it happens. I love this job, but working like that is bad for long-term performance and will inevitable cause burnout.

As others have said you are being overworked by your employeer. It's not only mean they dont care about your health, but also it means their processes are bad exactly because company itself will only lose in the end: quality will drop, productivity will sink and people will leave.

As about working on your own be it freelance or starting your own company: this way you will only have to work much more. So far I haven't seen any single successful entrepreneur or founder who wasn't working 12 hours a day for at least several years before they get anywhere.

Freelance certainly does not have to be 12 hrs a day to be successful.
That's can work once you have established profile and clients for long-term support - true. Before you reach this moment you really have to work a lot on your profile / getting customers.

Also it obviously gonna depend on what is your speciality. I guess some RoR / Java developer will more likely to find long-term contract.

I've had a single late night meeting in my 7 year career, so yes it's absolutely possible.

But, you may need to change job.

Besides 6 months at an Israeli company where the weekends are Friday+Saturday, I’ve never had work meetings outside business hours.

I’ve had two employers who had one “let’s all work late and eat together” day a week, but this was consistent and coordinated with everyone’s families.

Unpredictable work hours are entirely avoidable if you’re not in a startup.

I work a strict 9am–6pm schedule from western Europe, and interact with both Asian and American colleagues. I simply decline all meetings that are outside of my work window, and it would probably be against the law for my management to expect me to do otherwise ("right to disconnect").

I do know, however, that some of my colleagues in Asian countries feel an non-official pressure to accept late-evening meetings so that European and American colleagues may participate.

In a sense you outsourced your pressure to a country where it is less socially accepted to refuse I guess?
Another aspect to this is that the far-away collegues might be fewer, so they adapt to the majority.
its still possible to do meetings (timewise) between europe and asia at for both acceptable hours though,societal pressure aside
It can be, but people have to be a bit flexible on both sides.

The most extreme example I have is myself, in France, having calls with people in New Zealand. That's an 11-hour difference. Basically, we'd have them at 8 AM CEST, which is 7 PM NZDT.

8 AM is somewhat early by Paris standards (usual office day begins at 9 - 9:30, with many people coming in around 10) but it's still feasible. I don't know how the day is organized in NZ, but I'd assume being done at 8 PM is a bit late but still tolerable.

But New Zealand is not Asia, all of Asia is a lot closer time-zone wise than NZ to Europe. E.g. depending on the DST, 4pm in Japan (the furthest east) is 9am in Spain (2nd furthest west), two totally compatible times. The problem comes when you try to make THAT compatible with the California as well, which we determined it's just not possible in my last company.
> But New Zealand is not Asia, all of Asia is a lot closer time-zone wise than NZ to Europe

Exactly. So if it works for Europe with New Zealand, it should work at least as well with Asia.

You should be weary with Spain, though. Even though it's quite out West, they're still using Central European Time (same as Hungary / Poland in the East), which is completely absurd. Hell, even France shouldn't be using CET, but WET / GMT. Only Portugal uses WET, and you have to go East to Finland / the Baltics / Romania / Bulgaria / Greece to switch time zones again (EET / GMT + 2). [0] is a handy map of time zones in Europe.

> The problem comes when you try to make THAT compatible with the California as well, which we determined it's just not possible in my last company.

You mean a call involving the three at the same time? Yeah, I can't see how that could be reasonable for all parties involved.

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Time_Zones_of_Europe.svg

Yes I'm quite weary of Spain, I lived there for 25 years! I am also wary of it since it's in the wrong timezone :)
I've been on the other end of that (taking calls in NZ from Spain and the UK) and agree. From what I can tell, working hours culture is very much the same in New Zealand as it is in France. Those in Spain always seem to be working late to suit NZ schedules, but I don't know if that's a normal thing or just our company.
It's not normal to work past 8pm in Spain. However, I know several people happily attending international meetings from home between 8-11pm because 8pm is the standard go to bed time for the kids.
What are the common business hours in Spain? I was thinking everything happens later there, so a 10 PM dinner is not uncommon, because of the ridiculous time zone they use (Central European Time, when most of the country is West of GMT).
Traditionally 9:00 to 18:00 with 1h lunch or 9:00 to 19:00 with 2h for lunch (a bit more old fashioned) in my experience.

In some companies you might start later and finish later. Of course every company is different and some might insist on you being until very late there.

Well, 10, 11, or 12 hour difference, depending on time of year. Having been on the other side of that (in NZ, dealing with UK people, so 11-13 hour difference), 8PM isn't really tolerable - that's two-three hours past normal finishing time, so you either nip out for dinner before the meeting, or you're eating super-late. Plus missing bedtime for kids, possibly having a longer commute home (public transport frequency falls off a cliff after peak hours), although maybe a much shorter commute if you drive.

It worked out for me because I worked 1PM to 11PM or so (my bosses weren't thrilled about it, but not a lot they could do), but I'd have been very unhappy if I was working a normal 8 - 5 or 9 - 6 day.

These days I live in Europe and won't work outside my standard hours, with very rare exceptions, backed up by some fairly strong laws (Germany, so not as strong as France, I think) and some interesting wording choices in my contract.

The need to schedule meetings at unreasonable times is one of the drawbacks of outsourcing and globally distributed teams, no disagreement here.

It's within the (usually hard-fought for) rights of employees in many countries to refuse such meetings. Unless they explicitly signed up for such a schedule of course. However, I would be very surprised if freelancers and people in leadership positions can refuse to participate in such meetings. In turn, they usually have higher salaries.

Of course, it sucks for people in other countries not being able to refuse to work at weird times. But if they could refuse, their country would immediately be much less attractive as an outsourcing destination.

Edit: tl; dr: regular remote meetings should between people in leadership positions. Day-to-day work should be managed by local managers, else it will either suck for everybody or suck enormously for workers in the country with weaker worker rights.

And the offshore team should be large to perform autonomous work. We often get only one or two guys from India or China who need to work closely with the US team . So it ends up with the offshore guys sacrificing their nights or the US people have to sacrifice.

It looks cheaper on paper but this way you get all the overhead of offshoring but bad productivity. It’s terrible.

The way I see it, the pressure has been "outsourced" to the employer rather than being an implicit pressure on the employee. Western European companies can also require workers to be on pager duty or work outside normal working hours, but it needs to be treated as actual work, adhere to the regulations, and be appropriately compensated. Prohibitive costs may convince the employer not to exercise this option and instead "outsource" the pressure to employees in areas with more lenient regulations. This is the choice of the employer, not of the employee working in the western European country.
You can't argue with the clock.

When I was living in Hawaii I was up at the crack-end a few times a month, pounding coffee, trying to ignore the roosters.

Social acceptability had nothing to do with it. It wasn't a great hour for Brussels either.

I do that too. I am not giving into the pressure set up by the company and it’s up to the other people to refuse too. Otherwise the company sets up abusive systems and workers play along. We all need to resist this abuse.
My company has a culture where it's totally okay to refuse, I've even gotten invites at 2am whenever they hold a webinar during their morning. Regardless of that we still see replies from engineers there when it's 2am for them (they are not on call at that time and it's not an emergency).
I work on a team that is split across North America and Europe, and or standard is that we all avoid meetings outside our working hours.

It’s understood that European folks try to schedule Europe-only meetings in the morning so that there is plenty of time available in the afternoon for NA colleagues, and conversely NA folks keep their mornings open for team meetings.

I personally shift my work day to starting at 7 so that I have an even larger overlap, but not all of us do that and it is not expected of anyone.

How do you deal with the 9 hour difference between Europe and West Coast?
I work remotely from New Zealand for a company in Ireland

I altered my work hours to 3AM to 12 noon. It is amazing.

I catch everyone in the office at the end of the day for meetings. I pick up and finish and work they need done, I get 3-4 hours of deep work every day when they are all gone.

And then I finish at noon, so I can go exercise and enjoy the day working on my startup.

Bed at 6PM to wake up at 3AM

This schedule may work if you have no other obligations. But it won’t work for a lot of people.
Yeah kids will f** that schedule completely.
Not to mention the biological fuckery of trying to maintain those hours
I regularly have a meeting at 17pm CET with a colleague on the west coast. That's 8am for him.

Yes he has to wake up 1h earlier than me on that day, but he also probably earns 2 or 3 times my salary just because of his location so fair enough.

The company’s boneheaded decision to hire people in incompatible time zones doesn’t create some kind of moral obligation for employees.
The disregard for time zones is really annoying. From the US offshoring to middle and South America works really well. But somehow we often end up with India where it’s basically impossible to find a decent schedule for the 12 hour time difference.
I think your attitude is unreasonable in some ways. With remote work, you can (I'm assuming) plan your day, work your hours that suits your team. This includes taking your kids to the park during daylight hours, then working from say 5pm - midnight.

The right to disconnect feels more about letting people disconnect "after hours". But this depends on your hours.

I fail to see what is unreasonable in my attitude, you give no explanation in your comment.

My "team" is composed of around 700 people across Asia and Europe.

My kids are in school during work hours.

My 6pm—midnight slot is strictly private life and there is no reason for it to be otherwise.

So, your last line contradicts the rest of your own comment.

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Ok, that's all pretty subjective.

I said in another comment, If you were a police officer, pilot, truck driver, deep sea diver or in numerous other professions, you'd be expected to do some weird hours and have a lot of time away from home.

This is where I think people are being unreasonable. Remote work, we have it better than ever, no commutes, no time away from family, almost non-inconvenience but now, even a late night meeting is against "my time".

I think with remote work, the cost of walking 50 meters, sitting in a comfortable chair and dialing into a meeting from 11pm-12am is pretty inconsequential all things considered. You can probably have the meeting in your jammies on the couch.

I'm not 100% discounting that it's inconvenient, but I mean, relative to the things I've been through and others have to go through, it's minuscule in comparison.

Lastly, I think you're just lucky you work for a company who allows you to just say no to meeting with your peers in other time zones. Again, you might be lucky and everyone has a good crossover with you, but many don't have this luxury, and never meeting with your peers, at least where I work, means you're not part of the team and you're getting fired.

We rotate the difficult meetings in the group so we all feel some of the pain, but three is a bit of pain and I guess that's why it's called "a job" and why I'm part of a team.

Meeting ending at 00:00 means you go to sleep at 01:00 or so. That may be fine if you can sleep on till 9:00. But if the rest of the house wakes up at 6:30 to make their schedule… you’re in for a trouble.
That's true, it's not a good situation to be in that one having been through it myself, also someone who has had my fair share of insomnia.

Staying at peoples houses who get up early and make a lot of noise after a hard night falling asleep is never much fun.

A lot of good points on this thread, and even though I've always advocated for doing more async work within our team, I'll push a bit harder now.

I think the unreasonable part of it is, if the other participants were in the same mindset then there would be no meeting.

I'm all for restricting employers from my personal space, however I would expect the same to be applied to all other members rather than be a special case.

Personally, I tend to rotate the awkward meetings so it sucks equally rather than weighted more on someone else. As a remote worker, myself and my family are ok with that because I'm available during the daytime.

That's not their fault or problem though. It's the company's.
Regardless of who's to blame, the problem still exists.

However, if you're unable to work async nor be flexible to accommodate your fellow team members, then I suppose the company's recruitment process is to blame.

I’d agree they should be upfront about out of normal working hours meetings. I know id pass.
How is having a structured workday where you consistently work the same 9 how window and expecting to spend your evenings with your partner/kids/friends unreasonable?
Honestly, if that's what you guys want, a 9-5. Go for it

For me working remotely isn't just about having my ass in a different geographical location, it's about flexibility. Both in my private and professional life.

I didn't say you can't spend time with your kids, but personally, working 8am-9am then 8pm-12pm doesn't sound so bad either. (for example). I find kids need to do homework and get to bed early so those times for me would work pretty well.

The right to disconnect for me is when I don't have to care about work anymore for that day. Whenever I work some odd hours to have free time during the day this time is simply much less enjoyable. I know I will have to attend to work obligations while I'm supposedly on free time to enjoy daylight hours. This pressure is not something I can turn off at will.

With remote work I appreciate having the option to use the inevitable idle time to be more efficient with house chores and such but remote work never brought me the freedom you tout...

I have worked remotely in the past before COVID and tried your suggested approach, would be free during afternoons and work from 17-00, or split the day in morning and evening work. It didn't ever give me the same relaxation as I get from having free time until the end of the day.

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I'm kind of the opposite, I enjoy doing things in the day and sitting on my butt at night.

So there you go, we're different.

0900-1800 CET is 1900-0400 AEDT. How would that work?
Hmm? That means half your workday already overlaps with the time you are in the office anyway. If you just schedule all meetings before 23:00 you should be fine.
I think cross TZ meetings should not recur in the same TZ.

Once way to make things more fair is to set up two or three bi- or three-weekly recurring meetings to cover all participants time zones. So everyone gets it to happen in their own TZ at least every other week or so.

I know the practice is often different, depending on where the company's headquarters are, but I encourage folks to spread the rotating TZ idea out of fairness and respect for colleagues elsewhere.

We do this too, but according to others, it would be against the right to disconnect most likely.
A similar thing happens at my employer. Westerners work more regular daytime hours, there’s no obvious pressure for asians to work nights, but almost all of them are.
I very rarely have late meetings, so I can usually keep to about a 8-16 schedule as a senior developer. I even usually manage to have lunch at the same time day-to-day. I guess it helps that almost all of our developers are in the same timezone as I am, and the few that aren't, are usually just a couple of hours off.
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Have you tried setting clear boundaries? Often this is all that's required.
It’s more likely in large orgs. I work at a large one and my group consists of 800 people spread across the world. A lot of us got stressed out and burned out due to time zone spread in the pandemic.

Our LT took the feedback and we have since regionalized the teams so people don’t work too far out of their time zone.

If that’s not possible, perhaps find somewhere else that works in one time zone.

Quit as soon as you can. Overworking yourself for an employer who clearly doesn’t respect your time is not worth it.

At worst you’ll carry around the scars of burning out for the rest if your life.

And yes, it is possible to work reasonable hours. Not only that, but it should be the default.

> is it even realistic to have a 9-5 kind of structure in IT/software dev field

Absolutely, at least in Europe. Not everywhere, be wary of “we’re family” and “hustle” types.

Uptime rates should have no connection to your work hours.

99.99% uptime does not mean you need to be on a meeting every night.

Your manager is bad. Really bad. Becoming a manager doesn't mean you put on some ring and now you're in the "inevitably bad club".

Like others have said, find a new job that respects you.

> Your manager is bad. Really bad.

This. Find a new job. That's everything you need to know.

/e: also,

"I feel so burned out and anxious all the time, not because of overwork, but due to a lack of formal structure in my work day."

Please do it asap and treat yourself to at least two weeks of personal time before switching jobs. You're shortening your lifespan here because someone else is doing a shitty job (and I not only mean your direct manager).

This is assuming it's easy to find a new job, I don't think it's all that easy right now.
I'm hiring developers in Georgia (Europe) and Germany right now! No US at the moment though. And there will be others, especially in Europe that have trouble hiring new developers.

Out of interest, why do you feel it would be difficult right now, wherever you're from?

In the USA - it's not trivial currently (or really ever). Leetcode and system design - regardless of economic environment - are always difficult to pass the interview loop for. With 2 mediums or 1 hard being the standard in <40 minutes for multiple interviews in a row - it can be a challenge for devs to get through the gauntlet.

Talent is oversaturated at all levels in the USA while cost of living just keeps going up and up and up. This is why leetcode and system design are pushed so hard - they filter out a ton of candidates on arbitrary shit that you will likely never do in your day job... and if you do, you won't have to do it in less than an hour.

Add on that lots of companies aren't hiring and every company knows it - you're not going to get the best offers.

Yeah, I agree on that. We do 30 minutes chit-chat and a second round discussing code skills with the tech lead. Especially because the job markets in Germany, Georgia and Ukraine (the countries we're working with) are competitive af. But I wouldn't want to anyway. Also no leetcode, system designs etc. I always prefer a bit of fresh code and a github link.
Because many nations are facing a recession? There is a war in Europe? Soaring interest rates?

I don't want to be condescending but as someone who is hiring, I find it unusual you're not aware of looming economic slowdown?

I'm also starting a company now, but I'm definitely not hiring or spending much money at the moment until the outlook improves. Maybe you will get lucky and coast through it but I'd do some research.

You are condescending, even without your straw man disclaimer ...

As if I don't know what's going on around me? Weird take. There are still enough positions, especially in the IT sector in Germany, where we don't have enough applicants or employees for (sorry, don't know how to phrase it better). The IT sector is a major economic factor, overall and especially for a lot of companies. ESPECIALLY in economically hard times. Sure, hiring will slow, but just because in the US there are lots of big IT companies having big lay-offs, don't assume it's the same in other countries.

Have a look: https://sifted.eu/articles/startup-tech-company-layoffs/

Companies that are laying off are the ones that have been dysfunctional anyway or have only been able to operate because of peculiar circumstances (Gorillas, Getir) and don't have a viable business cases.

We both don't know how it will be, but I personally really need those people. We are pre-market, we have enough funding and runway. I know what I'm doing. Also, it really depends on the company and the sector. At any given time, I guess at least a few companies will do good and can hire people. We're one of those.

All the best with your company.

/e: ok, found what I was looking for: https://www.ifo.de/en/press-release/2022-08-02/shortage-skil... This is especially dire for any IT related positions.

I was coming from a place of concern, sorry if it came across in the wrong way. I'm glad you have funding etc, good luck to you too.
An assumption I bring it to most questions like this:

The world, including the tech world, is much bigger than you think.

Though I have only seen a tiny fraction of it myself, here’s where I’ve had reliably contained workdays: 1) Machine learning systems for internal Ops processes, we technically had on call rotation but I never heard of anyone being paged at a terrible hour 2) Data engineering for strategic dashboards, where “I will fix it when I get in tomorrow“ is totally fine 3) A cross geography team who is clients are in my time zone, which set the norm that the other people had to shift their working hours instead (I’m not saying that this is globally optimal, but they knew what they were signing up for, and I can be confident this pattern will persist)

Each has their own trade-offs, but my point is that you can find options anywhere along some dimension if you keep looking

I was going to respond saying that you should be strict about declining meeting outside of working hours and protect your time, but then I remembered that my company is not every company and this may not be supported or possible. It does sound like you are overworked and the company may be poorly managed in this regard.

I think your best options are to speak with your manager about it or start looking for other jobs with better work-life-balance. The companies you are looking for certainly do exist!

Discount everything I'm going to say if:

* You're meetings go later than midnight or 1am, I think that's unreasonable.

* You're working more than 8 hours a day.

I also used to complain to myself about this a lot, then I became resentful and I became kind of grumpy / surly in the meetings. I complained to my managers about it and then I realized, for them, meeting attendance was more important than anything else. So I just adapted my schedule to that aim and it was a success.

For me it wasn't late night, it was early morning meetings that were a problem, I'm a night owl, I understand everyone is different, there you might like working early mornings for example.

Anyway I still struggle with the meetings, but I realized that I used to get up early and commute, and I also realized I have a very flexible life and I even have some of my meetings from bed if I'm extra tired, just turn off the camera.

After a while looked around me and saw that there are truck drivers, who drive all night, they are away from family for long periods of time. Pilots have to do all sorts of weird hours. I guess nothing is perfect, but at least once your meetings are done, you're off to a comfortable bed.

TL;DR: While it seems bad, is your situation really that bad, can you somehow make it work for you? Can you take most of the day off and work evenings? Can you be more flexible yourself?

Yeah, figuring out what you've really been hired to do is so important to happiness.

We all have our own idea of what excellence in software engineering looks like, but sometimes we're actually working as chairsitters, other times we're email account managers, sometimes we were only hired so our name/expertise/certifications can be listed on the "About Us" page.

Most of us would say an engineer can still be excellent with a flexible start time, but a chair sitter absolutely can't have that. However it would be fair for a chair sitter to get on the clock time to devote to upstream open source projects or to experiment with new database systems that might be useful for scaling.

I hear you, but don't see the parallels.

I'm talking about meeting attendance being important not just "chair sitting". It's important as a senior engineer to contribute to meetings for planning, setting direction, performance reviews etc. Which is what I'm doing in these meetings.

At one stage I was busy with projects and I'd refuse to attend the late night meetings, because I was busy, I thought just coding was what was important. Then I started to attend the meetings, wake up at 6am and work again. But that's when I realized that, the waking up early and working wasn't what they wanted from me , they wanted me to contribute to the meetings.

So now I reserve myself more for the important meetings task.

> So I just adapted my schedule to that aim and it was a success.

Stockholm syndrome, maybe a bit of ptsd.

I’d not follow such advice @op. Find a place that respects you.

What are you talking about?

Honestly, on my late meeting days, I just work about 3 hours and attend the meetings late at night, because that's what's expected of me and that's enough. The meetings can be intense so I just save myself for them and generally enjoy my day.

My company respects me a lot, but it also respects the fact that it's not all "one timezone is important and others suck" We have to meet with people all over the world and sometimes, it's my time to compromise and meet / work late?

That does sound like your employer respects you. Three hour work days on late meeting days sounds like a good deal. I jumped the gun and assumed you have to work extra, which is sadly the expectation in many places that have such late night meetings.
Yes, it starts with the word no.
Time to jump jobs until you find an org that relies more on async comms than scheduled meetings...