The title is a little bit click-baity, but also understandable when you've done (or rather: had to do) that sort of work on your own; the dirty practical side is that you're both a child and adult at the same time, and all the conflicts and discrepancies that stem from this fact are yours to suffer from and resolve.
There's both the need to tend to the needs of a 36-year-old person that physically and mentally exists, but there's also the need to tend to all the emotional needs of the person who was stunted and prevented from proper emotional growth.
This can make for some really big discrepancies in practice, as described in the article, and results in additional trobule when you need to explain the matter to other people who have not encountered that sort of developmental issues in their lives. Which, I assume, this article attempts at, and for that, as someone who travelled that path on his own, I'm deeply glad.
Personally I don't visit particular episodes, but rather a feeling, a drive towards a specific emotional reaction.
And try to think back to, recall, when that feeling first started, and then imagine meeting myself at an age where I experience that emotion.
Often some memories about the surroundings or events from that time will naturally present themselves. E.g. when meeting my 5-7 year old self it's often around an old bunker that I used to play on.
When connecting to that manipulative 8 year old bastard mentioned in the article, I initially imagined meeting at a dog show(!). But was not able to communicate with that child even when intentionally changing the surroundings to my room, and eventually had to imagine just chilling with a TV show.
I suppose it's a form of self-hypnosis and haven't studied the mechanics of it.
I have been going on a similar journey. My childhood was trauma over and over again. I learned to cope but those skills no longer serve me at 45. It seems you have been much more literal about "connecting with your inner child". I suppose there are many ways to do this. Good luck with your journey. I appreciate the struggle.
As someone who has recently started therapy, I really do feel what you are saying.
What I started wondering now is how different my life may have turned out would I have been smart enough to get therapy in my 20s.
It turns out, the amount of things we normalize during childhood with our 5 year old brain is astounding. You don’t even have to be a bad parent. Just lough at your toddler a few to many times when they fall down and they might just end up feeling worthless until they are 35.
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[ 3.1 ms ] story [ 68.4 ms ] threadThere's both the need to tend to the needs of a 36-year-old person that physically and mentally exists, but there's also the need to tend to all the emotional needs of the person who was stunted and prevented from proper emotional growth.
This can make for some really big discrepancies in practice, as described in the article, and results in additional trobule when you need to explain the matter to other people who have not encountered that sort of developmental issues in their lives. Which, I assume, this article attempts at, and for that, as someone who travelled that path on his own, I'm deeply glad.
Just months ago I would have answered 6 years, so there is some progress!
https://www.ursulakleguin.com/blog/91-the-inner-child-and-th...
And try to think back to, recall, when that feeling first started, and then imagine meeting myself at an age where I experience that emotion.
Often some memories about the surroundings or events from that time will naturally present themselves. E.g. when meeting my 5-7 year old self it's often around an old bunker that I used to play on.
When connecting to that manipulative 8 year old bastard mentioned in the article, I initially imagined meeting at a dog show(!). But was not able to communicate with that child even when intentionally changing the surroundings to my room, and eventually had to imagine just chilling with a TV show.
I suppose it's a form of self-hypnosis and haven't studied the mechanics of it.
It's a metaphor