Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

The biggest change I'd like to make would be to defeat my social media and entertainment addiction - not even entirely, just contain it to a 2-hour window every evening. I keep failing at that, but there were weeks/months when I was successful, and it made an enormous difference, way more than I expected.

meditation, ashwaghanda and really working on improving your sleep quality are probably also good moves.

One format for doing this is "the wheel of life". There are lots of templates and online guides, but here's one place to start:

https://scottjeffrey.com/wheel-of-life/

I recommend this because people often set goals like "I want to start going to the gym" without connecting that to some larger vision for how you actually want your life to change as a result.

I’ve tried almost all supplements and they all have a negative effect when taken for more than a few days. Things that work for me and make me feel better- low dose testosterone replacement 35 mg x 2 per week, 50 mg prescription Viagra every night, one long run per week of 5 miles. My life is night and day different on or off this regimen. Off, the world is gray and joyless, I feel like Bilbo Baggins when he describes feeling like “too little butter over too much bread.” On this regimen, I feel joy and alive. I feel hope.

go through the reasons in you head why. over time you will understand what drives it.

this may help you react the way you want vs. the way you have historically

{emotion} —> anger, anxiety, anything else deemed negative

Not that any of it ever permanently fixes my deeper issues with anxiety or depression: I have to run/exercise every morning to feel really good and ready for the day. But I think that's the deeper point: it's the good habits that make life bearable and even (sometimes) enjoyable.

1. I found some "active" shit I legitimately enjoyed doing: playing music, writing, walking, iyengar yoga

2. I walk a lot

3. I do yoga intensely once a week

4. I keep a journal

5. I learned how to manage my emotions from a powerful book called "The Anger Management Workbook for Men" by Aaron Karmin, and embracing it changed my life and enriched it in ways I absolutely never could have predicted

6. I have found a couple of communities that I am a part of

None of this stuff happened overnight, but the shift into the right direction started occurring a lot more quickly than I expected, and the not feeling like complete shit all the time, the extremely poor and sometimes very destructive coping mechanisms, they are a work in progress, but I am so much closer to my ideals than I could have expected in such a short time.

If I had to pick one to recommend, it would easily be the Karmin book. Best investment I've ever made.

I tend to go through periods where I do a little too well with everything, take on too much, get overwhelmed, then fall down for a bit before I decide I have the ability to care again. The best thing I can do for my mental health is be more consistent and mindful such that I grow continuously rather than follow boom/bust cycles.

So, I'm building that to help! :)

Other than that, everything else everyone is saying is good. Exercise, diet, companionship, self-awareness. I've just never found lack of familiarity of the good things to be the limiting factor. For me, it's always just about convincing myself I can do it, and it's worth doing continually, whenever I fall off the wagon. My own brain is its own worst enemy that loves to overthink things rather than stick to what's clearly working. Then, I do the things, and all the fears melt away, confidence appears in bounds, motivation grows with the confidence, and we're back in the race called life.

My sanity is eroding and I hit a wall every day. I also found that I don't have time anymore to keep up with technological developments like I used to, which is unfortunately eroding my value as a developer, so now I'm looking into hybrid PM/management/developer roles.

There seems to be a popular perception of the mind as a thing with many knobs and dials that has a tendency to get out of whack and require servicing by a qualified professional. It's really not.

There are a probably infinite number of things that can outright go wrong with a brain, resulting in an equal infinity of fascinating symptoms that are rightly in the domain of the medical profession. However, like other parts of the body of which the same can be said, those things are unlikely to be wrong you. Most "mental health" issues are not of that nature, but fall into one of two categories:

1. Suffering because something external is actually affecting you. Eg. If you're suffering mentally because you are in an abusive relationship or because you hate your job it's not fundamentally a mental health issue but something you need to straighten out in your life. If you can't you will continue to suffer in some way however much therapy you get. This can of course lead to problems of type 2.

2. Self-created (or self-exacerbated) problems. Pathological mental systems, misunderstandings of the world and your part in it, unhealthy cycles of self doubt and self torment, etc.

Problems of type 2 are very real, but they don't mean there is something wrong with you. Everybody experiences these things to some extent and learning to escape from them is part of learning to be a functioning adult. By far the most important technique to learn is letting go of things. You cannot prevent ideas from entering your mind, but whether you let them remain is ultimately up to you.

When something in your mind causes you suffering - a bad idea, an intrusive thought, a self-defeating behaviour, a necrotic value system, an unrequited love, etc - you can let go of it. Doing so is a physical act, not a mental one. It's not always easy. It can be extremely difficult, but it is always possible.

Meditation, as I see it, is physical practice at doing this. You simply sit and let go of whatever thoughts enter your mind, always returning to simple awareness of the present, your body (especially breathing and posture) and your surroundings. You cannot stop the thoughts entering your mind. They will continue. That is right. You are practising letting go of them when they do.

What you learn from this is that retaining thoughts is optional. You only need to pay any attention to the ones that do you some good. The physical ability to let go of the others is one of the most important skills you can acquire. It's worth practising.