Ask HN: Has a life coach ever worked for you?

44 points by democdvrnudj ↗ HN
Did you at any point in time have a life coach? Did that help you grow professionally and personally? Would you recommend getting one?

40 comments

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No but by default I would assume that anyone who calls themselves a life coach is full of shit.
Yeah, it reminds me of the following quote: "The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever becoming one."

I would have a hard time trusting anybody whose primary identity is "life-coach".

But I don't think I have any problem with people who do it for fun or good ol' fashion compassion :)

How is a life coach different from a clinical counselor/psychologist? If they are mostly the same thing, I can confidently tell that they can be helpful and are not full of shit.
Because a clinical counsellor or a psychologist requires real training?
I'm guessing approximately 0% of "life coaches" have doctorates, pass exams,and go through licensing processes comparable to a clinical psychologist.
Yeah me too but I think there are as many "valid use cases" as there are quality "life coaches" - but I personally assume that's about 20% of total life coaches. The main thing I don't like is it seems like life coaches are selling a bit of a cult of personality. I'm unsure how life coaching differs from professional counseling or similar

edit: couple words

What about pastor or shaman?
While i may agree with you, generalisations of sorts are incorrect.
Not all generalizations surely.
Life coach industry is full of scammers.
I think the term just applies the usual formula "<x> coach" (e.g. "football coach", "tennis coach") to a broad topic: x=life. Personally, I don't think there is a problem with that etymology.

Some people are bad at making clear their goals, their limits and organising their life around it -- enter life coach. Having said that I think the field is full of imposters who should but don't consume the services they advocate. There is also a lack of empirical basis to the training and certification programmes available for life coaches, leaving the space pretty bullshitty for consumers.

I've worked hard to create deep candid friendships with many people. My friends tell me when I'm dreaming too big and when I mess up. They help me choose between shifting priorities and forks in the road. Sometimes they just tell me everything's going to be fine :)

I suspect that not everybody has relationships like these. For people without candid friendships or mentors, I suspect that a life coach would be incredibly helpful!

If you're looking for a life-coach, email me at hello@taylor.town :)

I honestly have no idea what I'm doing, but I really want everybody to thrive with the same level support that I have! I'll do 3-month "sprints", and I won't accept any payment.

EDIT: You can also schedule a 30-min chat with me at https://calendly.com/taylor-town/30min

> My friends tell me when I'm dreaming too big

I read this somewhere: "If noone's told you your ideas are crazy lately, you aren't being creative enough."

Ha! My friends like my "crazy" ideas, but they kindly remind me of my history of starting ambitious projects and giving up as soon as things becomes boring/tedious.

Ideas are easy; honing discipline is hard as h*ck!

I really enjoyed this video recently, Jack Conte telling his history of failed projects. I'd only heard of the 2 or 3 successful ones before, but this made me aware of his 10 or 20 failed projects, or projects no-one else enjoyed, for every 1 hit. I don't think it's a coincidence he had a few hits. Also the way he says they all felt the same while doing them, the wildly popular and the ones none noticed, is interesting. Also I heard Gershwin wrote 20 songs for every 1 good one. It seems people mostly fail, even the most successful.

Patreon CEO shares his most epic failures https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf5rKTCMNnU

Conversely, I have (for free) life coached a number of people (although mentoring may be a better term) and they seemed to value and appreciate it, and got good results.

Talking to people with experience having already done the things one is trying to do is almost always helpful, in lifestyle or any other area of endeavor.

As a guy in his 20s, I'd like to note that certain Amway branches disguise themselves as "life coaching" and "mentoring" programs so definitely do a gut check about the motivations of anyone you take on as a coach/mentor.
Not life coach per se but I was required to have psychotherapy as part of work.

And it can feel invigorating like standing on a mountain you just climbed and inhaling.

There is something irreplaceable about I'm gonna spend 50minutes talking about me. Just freely thinking out loud.

I'm not sure if life coaching is different I'm sure it is as it's focusing on goals but felt relevant!

Wow that's not something I've heard of before. Do they require staff to do the therapy in the hopes it will make a more productive workforce?

I think I'd like to work at a place like that.

I believe this is common in mental health professions and in professions that are traumatizing by nature (such as content moderators, intelligence professionals, etc).
Yes I’ve had life coaches at 2 points in my career and found them very very effective.
We all already have a life coach each, the holy Jesus. Through our communication I have not only improved my physical and mental well-being, but have also solved quite difficult programming challenges.
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Oblique, but what has worked out for me far better than coaches and mentors is enemies. Identify people who are annoying and awful and be sure to not do those things that they do. This can be an ugly business, but in practical life terms it can be more important to set a floor and consider limits than to reach for the stars and jump as high as you can. And of course both are important.
I hired an executive coach who previously did exactly what I did. She helped me get rid of imposter syndrome and focus on what I was good at and how to sell that. I would do it again in heartbeat
I honestly think that any valid life coach would just call themselves a licensed/certified therapist (or something similar). There is a lot of opportunity for scams or abuse, and it's probably not worth it. Around here you're going to pay the same amount (or more) for some jackass who can print "Life Coach" on a business card as you'll pay for a certified therapist.

If some one really wants to get paid to help people they should do the necessary preparation to do it responsibly. I've seen a lot of scammers and people who seem to think that being alive is the sole qualification for a life coach.

There is a role for free help like, say, AA sponsors, priests, lay pastors, or whatever life-coach-like role someone wants to take. There is also a social structure, or set of traditions or whatever that place limits on the role. Because they are done for free there is a sort of "good Samaritan" expectation.

There is also a role for paying for more specialized help, like maybe a business coach or mentor or whatever.

I saw a life coach for 12 weeks and a therapist weekly for a year - similar cost. I found the therapy (gestalt/CBT) much more beneficial in general but like a muscle it needs to be maintained. The life coach was quite interesting at the time but what they called "self limiting doubts" was framed a lot better through psychotherapy.
A friend was training to be a life coach and I was his guinea pig. I imagine we all like to talk about ourselves so there was definitely a feel good factor. I guess the real test of life coaching is did it help you get somewhere you wouldn't have got to anyway? On that note, I think I would want to be coached by someone who had been where I want to go. Otherwise, just google the questions life coaches ask and save yourself some money.
You have one life. Do you not want to be in charge of it? Stop listening to other people.

No, do not hire a fucking life coach. You are as smart and as dumb as anyone else.

I have. It comes down to who the coach is. I always say a therapist helps you gather the trash. A life coach helps you take out the trash. I recommend interviewing a bunch of folks - what do you want them to be good at, who should they have worked with before. I run it like any candidate process. Technically this person is working on your betterment.
I am a life coach and engineer, working as hardware architect in security.

My personal experience is that coaching works, but you need to know who are you with and what you want to achieve.

As many said, most life coaches are like sport coaches.. go through a formula and use it to all clients. Of course this doesn't really work.

There are a few who see you as you are, with your specific issues and can really provide assistance to have a new perspective.

The main difference between coaches and therapists is the perspective. Therapists look at your past and help you find a solution. Coaches look forward and try to help in creating a different life.

I work using a different method that can help you create a new life, using your past decisions and emotional state.

Should you have more questions, my email is in my profile

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A life coach is interesting to talk with and bounce off what's going on in your life and what your goals are.

I received good advice, most of it was common sense but it was good to have someone to talk to.

It was good talking about goals and checking back in to talk about progress and be accountable.

Depends on the life coach and what they can offer. Cost vs value.

A lot of the same benefits could be obtained through a mastermind group or mentor.

In my opinion, the point of a coach, whether it is a life coach or a personal trainer or another type, is providing accountability. If you think a life coach would help you with accountability it would probably help but before spending that money I would brainstorm other ways to hold yourself accountable to your goals and forming any habits needed to reach your goals. Best of luck!