Ask HN: Should I quit my job?

39 points by throwaway160123 ↗ HN
For a while now (a couple of months) I struggle with having any motivation at my programming job. I like the company's profile and have a great team, but: - I was hired at a lower level than I interviewed for. Was going for a senior dev position, having 10 years of professional exp in the area, but apparently was hired for a mid position. I found out about this only 6 months in. - My manager and other people in the management admitted to me I should've been hired as a senior dev. No one till now could explain to me how this happened. - Apparently, the company can't adjust my level, because "the processes won't allow it". - In order to get to the level I was supposed to be hired at, I need two promotions in a row. This will mean I need 1.5-2 years with the company just to get to the senior position (!!!). - I keep getting great reviews in the review cycles (not to brag, just to paint the full picture), but it leads to no actual actions being taken by the company: neither in terms of the levels nor in terms of the compensation. All this feels like a pat on the head. - The title itself is meh, but it has a very tangible effect now: the company is comparing my salary to mid-level devs (usually having half of my experience) and uses this to justify no or minimal salary increases, in spite of the overachiever reviews and the inflation being at almost 20% in my country. - All this leads to me having close to zero motivation and energy left to work here, hence me wasting time by writing this post. - This situation left me with a bad taste in my mouth about the industry in general. I feel really disillusioned right now, even though it's not my first company. It's the first one I am so frustrated with. - Considering the current job market, I am a bit afraid to just quit. I have enough saved up to survive quite a while without a job and have no family to support, but still, feels like a risky move. - At the same time, I really don't have the energy to be jumping through 100 hoops in the interview process once again, at least not for the time being. - It might be a chance to give it a shot as an indie dev, I have some ideas I wanted to try out and it's one thing I could get excited about in tech.

TL;DR I am probably burned out, looking for validation from anonymous people online to make a serious life decision, what could possibly go wrong.

79 comments

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well there is no need to immediately resign

the employers behaviour here is offensive to any persons sensibilities and I think everyone reading this would be of the same mind to moving on as soon as possible. The way to do this is of course start talking with other employers, there is no reason why you couldn't rustle up some more suitable opportunities whilst you continue in post with this employer. Go only when you have found the right opportunity

yes, this. Start the conversations. Start slow and allow yourself to get excited about another opportunity.

IMO burnout is hard to identify in the moment, but looking back, its clear to see :). Keep your job for now, start the job hunt, and good luck.

That's sensible advice for sure. At the same time, I feel like I can't apply myself anymore, and I hate to half-ass the work I do (I'm sure a lot of folks here will understand this).
Find a head hunter to do it for you. They'll usually find a company for you and set everything up so that you won't have to go through too many hoops. I haven't tried this myself, but heard a few good stories about it.
Do headhunters actually exist?

I've heard they do but figure they are unicorns

I've only been in the industry for thirty years tho

yeah I do understand this. I think this is to your credit btw. The way to handle this is set up a time line to get out, then regression plan back. This should give you some sort of action plan. What helps here is action orientation
I would highly encourage you to do a little interviewing, just to get past the anxiety. Try interviewing for things you aren't very interested in. It makes it much less stressful, and it gives you a sense that you aren't trapped. I went through a similar thing myself a few months back, and just doing some interviewing actually made doing my current job easier. In the end I had some frank conversations with my manager and was able to salvage my current position, but the interviewing really facilitated that. The important thing though, is you really should not stay at your current job as it is. Aside from it making you unhappy, you're doing damage to your resume. Being under-titled doesn't look good to potential future employers.
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Companies are always finding ways to justify lacks of pay rise. The company I was working for got acquired by a much bigger company with all these complex procedures in place and they intentionally allocated all the acquired employees much lower "career levels" so that they can justify no pay rises by pointing out that we're over-paid for our level. I've got 25-years of experience but am on the same level as new graduate hires. They also know that because I'm a foreigner and do have a family to worry about that I'm not going anywhere in a hurry. The industry is also quite badly ageist. Trying to even get a new job once in your mid-40s can be a challenge.
Don’t just quit your job without another lined up. Milk the current company for everything you can while finding a new job. They’ll find a way to offer you the position and pay you deserved from the beginning when you put in your 2 weeks. Don’t accept their crap, find a better job, and move on. I do think you’d regret quitting without anything lined up. I’d just twiddle my fingers and do as little as possible at current company.
This, get them to pay for training and online courses. Get everything you can out of it.
If the current job is causing a lot of stress/burnout, carrying that into a new role is setting yourself up for failure. Having a few months gap isn't a problem IME and it helps with recovery.
Why can’t you do both? You can line up a new job and take a break in between. I regularly take a month or more between jobs. Most employers are fine waiting a bit longer for top talent.
When I went through something similar it would have taken way longer than a month to recover. I didn't know how long when I took the break. Also I was too burnt out to interview well.
The stress from not having a job lined up would have eaten me alive. I wouldn’t recommend that for anyone. I’m glad your case panned out but I would tell OP to line up a new job if they can.
I disagree, unless you are mentally breaking down you should hold.

You will be exponentially more attractive to recruiters while employed. Recruiters/HR will treat you as high value and will value your time a lot more if you are just changing jobs.

The opposite is true for someone looking for opportunities whilst unemployed, irrespective of industry experience.

The difference in recruited experience is massive having experienced both scenarios. It is just an unavoidable human bias from future employers.

Pad your start date for your next job by two weeks to a month. It might not be enough to fully recover, but it should hopefully still help quite a bit.
This depends heavily on how good you are at setting boundaries. How good are you at saying no to your boss and teammates? Depending on culture (yours and the company's) this can feel impossible.

Being unable to say "no" is also a great way to burn out in the first place. The advice of "just slack off" is often given in cases like these, but... if the person could do that, would they be burned out in the first place?

You can easily burn out for a number of reasons
What are they going to do if he says no? Fire him? Not give him the promotions they haven’t been?

If he’s been doing as well as he claims, he can sit on his hands for a few months and start slow rolling his work.

Especially if you're working remotely, start looking for other positions.

Upgrade your LinkedIn to premium and set it so that only recruiters see you're open for work. With 10+ years of experience you'll have recruiters crawling in your inbox like cockroaches :D

Only quit when you've already signed a contract with the new employer, just be mindful of any notice periods you may have.

Do you have significant equity vesting? That would be the only reason I would hang on/coast in the current role.

It sounds like this is stressing you out big time and you're very burnt out. How many months of runway do you have if you quit today? I would anticipate 4-6 months of unemployment but it sounds like you're not in North America so it might be different where you are.

Basically my advice is quit immediately, live off savings for at least 3 months and don't think about applying for jobs. Don't even code if you're not enjoying it. Do something else, feel like you're mastering some hobby, and after 3 months start looking for jobs. You'll find you have a lot more mental capacity to deal with interview bullshit and hopefully in the next role you won't burn out as quickly.

Why do you want a senior position? More money? More responsibility? In other words, what do you really want?

Would you be happy with a promotion that came with a meaningless raise? A promotion that had you doing the same thing?

In my experience, titles are absolutely meaningless outside of larger tech companies that have leveling guidelines.

Does your company have a leveling guideline?

This sounds like AWS, but probably resembles most large companies. Hire great people down a level, and suddenly you are raising the bar. However, you are also grouping folks with 10+ years doing great work with folks who just got promo'd on their first job out of college.

I have not quit. Instead I became a high achiever in other aspects of life. I listen to folks at work talking about programming podcasts and online tech conferences..... I won a bike race last year and podium'd in a 100 mile off road race. I can cook pretty quickly these days, which results in making healthy, tasty food that my kids actually eat (along with the kraft mac n cheese which is an anchor nobody can escape).

Anyway, once you step away from computers life is huge. Give your job what it needs, and give the rest to yourself.

Not AWS, but yes, sadly I expect my employer is not the first one to do this.

Sounds like you have a lot going on in the real life, and I have to admit I am a bit jealous now, I def should "get a life" outside of my work identity, something I have struggled to do successfully so far tbh.

I'm also 42 years old. None of this happened overnight. It is one of those things where you have to ignore where you will be in 5 months, and focus on 5 years.
I didn't "got a life" for like 5 years (8 if you count my productive school years when all my friends were also devs). I tried multiple sports in those five years, doing sport camps on summer to learn new stuff (mostly water-based in the beginning, i had a 31-32 BMI). I finally found out two sports i really like, i moved in a smaller city, closer to my family, and now am pretty much fulfilled. I have enough money to offer great vacations to my family, i hiked accross Europe in the last 3 years (well, actually mostly Spain and Portugal, i'm doing Italy next autumn, so hopefully at 60yo my trip will be done)(Btw, Spain: Best outside sport infrastructure i've came across yet).

I know it's a really "just do sport bro" advice, and i know that not everybody can do it (i actually have ankle issues since i was 18, and slowly becoming obese did not help at all, but i found a nice PT and techniques that mitigate the pain in the morning). You probably have money so you can try expensive sports like sailing and parasailing (i know i did).

The pandemic helped me in regard with moving out, trying new stuff (i took a 6 month sabbatical where i tried half a dozen new activities).

With every year, I care less and less about comparing myself with my peers. I reached a level I can have a very comfortable life with and anything after this is gravy. I will work hard and try to level up but I won’t grind or trade any of my personal time for money. Especially with kids, I am very short on time!!
Nice! The second best moment of my life was the first time I finished a century. What was your time?
My best time ever was with a large group of folks on a route with about 5000ft of elevation gain, and we did it in just under 5 hours. By myself much closer to 6 hours of ride time plus breaks. Doing a century is awesome, and then everyone says a double century is the same, just longer. I want to keep going and see how far I can go. I would much rather do this than learn a new programming language every year.

What are your times? What was the first greatest thing?

My first century was 4500 ft of elevation gain in Normal. I came in 2nd to last after an 85 year old woman who did a century every year on her birthday! I was 300lbs at that point, so it was quite an accomplishment I'm an 8-10 hour rider, but I always finish, and feel helllla good afterwards!

The greatest thing was my father giving me a hug after my first solo flight. He wasn't very affectionate.

> along with the kraft mac n cheese which is an anchor nobody can escape

...truer words were never spoken! :D

Never quit a job without something lined up. One of the first things your interviewer will ask is "What happened at the last job?"
I agree with your first sentence, in the current market.

But an interviewer asking me about my previous job doesn’t worry me. “I left because I decided to take a 6 month sabbatical.” is a perfectly good answer. Don’t like it? Please let me know at the beginning of the interview so I can walk out without wasting my day.

i bet the processes will allow it if they really see the risk of losing you. If even then they don't care --> leave as fast as you can. Company is not your friend and usually not interested in "wasting" money on giving you more salary then they have to.

at least my 2 cents

Don’t quit, start searching for better jobs.

Don’t go indie, it will burn your savings - scratch this itch later when you’re better motivated.

Don’t get disillusioned with the industry, bad jobs are more common than good jobs, move on until you find one that appreciates you better.

Sure it’s easier to stay with the familiar prison than face the possibility of the unknown, but the bravery of stepping out is the cost that must be paid for the search for happiness, the easy decision is usually not the correct one.

Start applying!

Title doesn’t matter. Pay does.

Also titles are not the same across companies. SR dev at one place is a level 5 dev at another is a lead dev at a third.

If you are at the pay you want with a lower title, that is pure gold. It means an easy promotion, which is a pay bump.

Fighting for a higher title as an IC when happy with the pay seems like you are fighting against yourself. You want to be hired at the highest possible title so you have many years to go until a promotion?

> Title doesn’t matter. Pay does.

For your current role. If you want to switch, it definitely does.

You're not job hopping to FB from Google at L3 and going up to L6.

You might be getting paid like a L5 now - but if you want to leave or get laid off or forced out or whatever - you'll probably end up with a huge career decline and pay decline than if you also had the proper title.

Depends. A higher job title helps you land higher level jobs down the line and is expected with a certain amount of experience. If I see a resume where someone spent significant time as a mid-level while having 10 years experience, I'd wonder whether that person was not capable of working at a higher level.
I'm surprised that you say that you have 10 years of professional experience if you were actually having this conversation with a company.

Get another job.

The interviews are part of the process. This is tough love: Suck it up. There's a part of you that does have the energy, and you know that. The fact that you can get excited as an indie dev says that you're not as burned out as you might think. You're just scared. It makes sense. But you can do it.

I hope this helps.

Companies hiring you at a lower lever and then making it very difficult to you to level up due to "processes" are a dime a dozen. Start by doing the bare minimum at your current job, including taking long(er) breaks during the days if you happen to work from home.
> TL;DR I am probably burned out, looking for validation from anonymous people online to make a serious life decision, what could possibly go wrong.

This is it, on top of it being a crappy company.

Don't worry. Most of us that have been around long enough have been there. Just dig the ditches while trying to find a new job. While the job market is tighter, there are still plenty of senior level jobs out there. From the conversations that I've had with recruiters, there's really a glut of juniors, while there's a lot of space for seniors.

Don't stay and "work your way into a senior". That's a bait ands switch as old as time. They're trying to get senior level talent at mid level cost. Do the work of an average mid level if you're paid as a mid level.

In the mean while (while looking for other positions), find something that mentally stimulates you.

If you quit today, expect this to be your last technical position. You will not find another job this year.

I know incredible engineers with great experience, well known engineers, who have been unemployed 50% of the time or more during Covid.

It's no longer a seller's market, it's a buyer's market. If you do find a new job, it will take you a long time, and you will take a lower salary than you have now.

For FAANG jobs, yes. For non-FAANG, it sounds like there's still a good amount of demand, especially for senior-level.

Regardless they shouldn't just quit without having another job lined up, and you have to be a bit more careful with your choice of company (maybe choose one that already jumped at the chance to do its "well everyone is laying off 10% of their staff, we should too even though we're still making record profits").

This is definitely happening. After 6 glowing interviews, I was expecting an offer two weeks ago from a startup. small company, profitable, growing quickly, only 100 employees, just closed a $70m funding round. While waiting for the "final" interview, I noticed the 40 jobs on their website disappeared. Finally heard from them 10 minutes after the interview was supposed to start, to tell me they had decided to halt hiring and "rightsize" their (skeleton) staff.
That's probably overstated but directionally correct. I know people landing new jobs. I also know of people who have been looking for quite a while and there's no particular reason to think things will improve this year. In general, if someone doesn't like where they are, they should by all means start looking around--but I wouldn't quit on the assumption I can find something better next week or next month.
I was in a similar situation a year and a half ago. I quit my job with nothing else lined up, despite advice to the contrary, and found a new one in a few months.

It worked out well for me, and I'd probably do it again without much hesitation if it felt necessary.

That's probably not enough to decide if it's worth it for you, but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents.

Economic conditions were very different 18 months ago...
Word of caution: the market today is in a completely different regime than a year and a half ago. I would be hesitant to drop out without something lined up. I don’t expect things to improve drastically in the coming 6 months.
Search for another job offer in a place you fancy, then talk to your manager about it.

Either you're valued and suddenly the procedures won't be an issue, or you have found yourself another place to work.

But take your time, no rush. Just make sure you keep showing your value in your current job, that's your only currency.

Right! It's amazing how many immovable processes suddenly become very flexible when the business is about to lose someone they value.

In this case though it would take a lot to make me stay. They have already lied or given a deeply misleading impression of your seniority. I would not expect their overall management style to change.

It's a bad time to quit and honestly, the stress and financial impact of unemployment is far worse than working an annoying yet lucrative job.

I've said this in many similar threads but programmers/SWE are among the most privileged workers in the world economy and the grass is NOT greener on the other side. SWEs make enough money they can retire in half the time as the average worker if they so desire, so I'd stick it out and focus on other things in life outside of work for fulfillment.

> SWEs make enough money they can retire in half the time as the average worker if they so desire

In the US only.

Outside the US they still typically make significantly more than other workers in their own countries. Especially if they work remote for a western company.
Nowhere near enough to retire earlier.
In your employment contract - it should have your job title / level.

I'd find another job and - if you were lied to, I'd talk to a lawyer.

And do what? Possibly tarnish your name forever and waste a metric ton of money? No man. You just leave.

Plus, a lawyer would be a luxury these days with all the mediation agreements being forced down our throats.

Sounds like you burned out for a slow-moving enterprise that likely expects regular employee turnover. Also with 10 years of experience and still not having senior title is definitely not a great deal either. The goal-posts for developer titles have moved for some time now (junior, standard, senior, tech-lead/staff, senior staff, etc. etc.) and some have gotten senior title by just having few years of experience. Cultural variance across tech / IT companies are still pretty wild.

You should look for medium or small companies that doesn't have a lot of bureaucratic management layers if you want more direct feedback on the effort you put in. In my experience, success in large enterprises was usually helping your manager sell your project to rest of the company.

Anyways, you definitely should be looking for new opportunities while also cutting back on the amount of effort you put in your current company. General markets might be burning but demand for IT is still forever growing.

Before reading: If you're at the point of asking, the answer is probably yes. This isn't true of all professions, but for software development it usually is.

After reading: HELL YES. Get the hell out of there (but don't just quit without finding another job first, I mean just start interviewing as soon as you can). "The processes won't allow it" is corp-speak for 'don't expect anything ever from this company'. I've worked at levels above me (did the job of my boss after he quit) and never got a promotion for it, despite being told I should get one if I just hang on, for three years. The way to get to your level is to leave that company and join a new one at the level where you're supposed to be.

The hurdles to getting a new job suck, but you have to do it for your own sanity. Start doing whatever you need to prepare for it now, and make it a priority, even over your job if need be.

Before quitting, can you find ways of operating in your current role that bespeak senior level ability? Like introducing a new framework, or doing a bigger than expected refactor that helps other departments as part of your regular work? Can you propose something to a project manager that opens up new horizons? Start over-achieving well beyond the expectations, and see if that finally gets you the recognition you want. You don't need a formal title to get the respect and permission to act that a senior dev has. Look up primus inter pares - it's a great position to occupy in an org.