Most young men live in quiet desperation, is it possible to resolve this?
Same thing regarding a growing number of women too but men don't have the same support structure as women do. But this discussion isn't really about that -in a world where everything is connected and everyone's looking to solve a problem how do we solve loneliness?
There are apps like meetup but how effective are they? especially once your in your late 20s/early 30s it becomes exponentially harder on average to make lifelong bonds.
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[ 61.3 ms ] story [ 1813 ms ] threadhttps://disboard.org/ is a good index of them.
https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/29/health/men-friendships-wellne...
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7488709/One-five-me...
https://medium.com/the-weekend-reader/why-dont-men-have-frie...
Not that this is entirely my experience, but somewhat. But I'm a more "sensitive" guy and a lot of my friendships form accordingly. I'm probably not usual.
0 - F3 stands for “Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith”. The “faith” part doesn’t specify/require any particular religion, or that attendees observe any religion at all.
I’m a woman and I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about here.
Regardless, I’ve struggled with intense social anxiety and loneliness since about 13.
The only long-term ”solutions” I’ve found that help have been: having a partner, good relationships with my family and joining a club (in my case, a football club) that has recurring sessions weekly.
Obviously, the latter is something that’s more easy to “engineer” than the first two.
So my only advice is to find or start a club or interest group that regularly meets. I’ve found that groups on Meetup often don’t have the same group if people attending. So rather search for local sports groups or community groups where you’ll meet some of the same people week after week and be able to build relationships with them over time.
The kind of loneliness I'm referring to is were you're completely alone and you don't have a partner, when you can go two months sitting indoors and have 0 texts on your phone. Obviously this is a complex subject so theres nothing I can really expand on without stating bias.
I blame Covid personally. Before Covid there was stuff going on that could motivate me to go do stuff, but not so much the last years or two. Even going out to bars feels tedious now.
Do some group fitness class, they usually have some kind of social event once and a while, so you can at least get to casually know a few people.
And that's just a problem on both sides of the aisle. It will probably continue to dominate modern politics, until improving democracy becomes more profitable than making people argue passionately.
> and teaching young men and women to blindly follow is always a bad idea
Uh huh? Sounds like you’d have no problem with blind following as long as it aligns with your beliefs.
I never once claimed that there’s evidence that “teaching young men and women to blindly follow is always a bad idea” came from blindly following beliefs. That doesn’t even make ducking sense? Are you good? You seem a bit out of it. If you’re going to reply, at least make it comprehensible. Also tolerance was not even in my mind when I wrote that so take your blind copy/paste buzzwords back to Reddit.
[1] in the older sense of the phrase; nowadays most people use it differently, but it originally meant ~"answering without really answering".
I personally found a lot of enjoyment in swing and ballroom dance bc the level of exercise is less strenuous, there's more variety of people to talk to, there's generally no alcohol, and they typically have a structured intro time for beginners before an event.
- Read widely, both fiction and nonfiction. Become interested in and even familiar with experiences outside your own comfort zone.
- Work on empathy and tolerance. Be ready to hear and even validate things you don't fully agree with, whether it's politically or epistemologically. Learn to respect others and see them as people with full life experiences, rather than merely as potential partners or friends to enhance your life experience.
- Get life experience that is interesting. Note that this doesn't mean traveling widely or having an "interesting" job. In fact sometimes those things make you seem boring and are anyways often inaccessible. There are more accessible things to do, like volunteering with people who have different experiences than you, working on a local cause that is important to you, or learning to make art that represents your feelings.
- Make yourself go outside. The world is outside. Learn about the history of your local area and visit the important places in it.
- Pay a little bit of attention to things like hygiene, grooming, clothes. You don't have to go crazy, just shower thoroughly every day, get regular haircuts, and wear clothes that roughly match your age.
- As others have mentioned, find somewhere with a stable group of people and show up consistently.
- Get therapy, even if you think you don't need it. Most people need it.
- Avoid toxic X. Masculinity, femininity, whatever. Being lonely can make you feel like you need a rubric to follow. Don't buy it. Don't even take what I'm saying above as a rubric.
Ultimately the goal isn't to find an app that matches you with the perfect person or group of people, but to become someone who is interesting to and interested in more people overall. I empathize with the fact that people are sometimes hard to like, but almost everyone has something to recommend them if you are willing to listen, and so do you if you're willing to explore and expand yourself and share that with others.
Some groups:
* Mankind project
* Sacred Sons
There are people who I know pretty well, but still have no idea where they live and what their real name is. Couldn't pick them out of a lineup if my life depended on it.