And I think the best thing is to ignore such tweets. Twitter rewards short, silly, and controversial takes like that with engagement, so there'll always be endless of them. The poster may not even believe it but just typed it to get engagement and social validation (hell of a drug)...If people were to write articles responding to every silly tweet, the world wouldn't be able to read all of them in time.
This is an interesting anecdote, but I think the author is talking somewhat cross-purposes with the original tweet. The tweet seems to be talking about the idea that every house needs to have a man in charge, so that when the man of the house leaves, he must delegate his work of "protecting the womenfolk" to his son. This idea that women always need to be looked after, even by children, is absolutely worth criticising - it's a vague and mostly meaningless sentiment that doesn't serve the household at all, but simply reinforces masculine and feminine roles.
But in the author's case, the women are already the major breadwinners and protectors of the home. And they do not seem to be delegating the protection of house at all. Instead, this is a question of responsibility and chores. If you live in a community - male or female - you have a responsibility to help support it. This particular responsibility is couched in terms of masculinity, but it doesn't really have to be - imagining the author as a teenage girl doesn't change the story.
Yes, you could interpret the original tweet as making a point about responsibilities in the household, but I think there are two key differences between the two cases that show that that's not true.
Firstly, the author received a specific task which was meaningful to supporting the household and was valuable. In the tweet, the son is given a vague instruction with no support, and no real value to the household. When we give jobs to children, it's important for them to understand why they're doing that job, and see that it matters. But "take care of your mother" is a nothing task that only serves to reinforce a particular idea of gender essentialism in the home.
Secondly, the author's task was delegated to him by both parents together (and I assume they discussed it beforehand). In the tweet, the task is given solely by the father regarding the mother. Did she want to be "taken care of"? Or does she rather have practical needs like hoovering or cleaning dishes that would be more useful to solve? This sort of task is simply about telling a child that men are in charge, without dealing with any of the actual responsibility of being in charge.
I think the author sees the tweet as the tweeter saying that children, or boys specifically, shouldn't be involved in the household, and - rightly - criticises that idea. But I think the tweet is more about the idea that men have some sort of secret duty of protection towards women that needs to handed down, father to son, above and beyond a child's regular work in the household. That second idea is absolutely worth criticising (although a tweet might not be the best way of doing it).
> imagining the author as a teenage girl doesn't change the story
That's obviously false and the author is very clear about the developmental reasons why it is false.[1] What you dismiss as "gender essentialism" is biological fact: there are actual fundamental differences in how adolescent male cognitive structures develop and how adolescent female cognitive structures develop.[2] Sociopathy is a distinctly male problem, and societies where respected male role models don't specifically tell male adolescents to value taking care of others are societies where adolescent males join gangs [3], get radicalized online, and engage in school shootings [4].
[1] "It’s a reminder to boys that they have a duty to their families. It’s a cue to young males—who have a tendency to be self-obsessed—to think of someone other than themselves. It is intended to suppress entitlement."
[2] "Being female confers an advantage when it comes to empathy" Dr. Laurence Steinberg, Age of Opportunity 95-96 (2015).
I don't know why you think it's obviously false. The problem is that the child sees chores as arbitrary labour without value to the themselves, not realising that by serving the family they help themselves as well. That's something that every child has to learn - are you going to claim that a girl in this situation is going to go "whoopee, chores, that's really what makes my feminine brain tick"?
I absolutely agree that we need adult male role models to tell male adolescents that they need to take care of others. We need it for women too, but that's a less pressing need for most of our societies. I suspect that the original tweeter would agree to that too. But the point the tweet was making is that "look after your mother while I'm gone" is not that. As I pointed out in the comment, it (a) doesn't give any actionable instruction or help, and (b) doesn't come from a decision made by the whole community. Instead, it's just a harmful reinforcement of the idea that men have an inherent "protector" role that defines their identity.
Do you have any evidentiary support for the idea that redirecting testosterone-based emotional responses in a pro-social (protective) rather than in an anti-social (aggressive) way is "harmful"? HN is not the place for propaganda.
Sorry, I think we're talking cross purposes somewhat. I don't think that what you've described is in of itself harmful, and I don't think I've made that claim. I do think that the language used in the original tweet does a bad job of "redirecting emotional responses" because it doesn't give the person a meaningful, useful task, nor is it even particularly pro-social. Whereas in the anecdote given in the article, the author was given a meaningful task to do, and was able to learn from that.
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[ 3.4 ms ] story [ 34.6 ms ] threadBut in the author's case, the women are already the major breadwinners and protectors of the home. And they do not seem to be delegating the protection of house at all. Instead, this is a question of responsibility and chores. If you live in a community - male or female - you have a responsibility to help support it. This particular responsibility is couched in terms of masculinity, but it doesn't really have to be - imagining the author as a teenage girl doesn't change the story.
Yes, you could interpret the original tweet as making a point about responsibilities in the household, but I think there are two key differences between the two cases that show that that's not true.
Firstly, the author received a specific task which was meaningful to supporting the household and was valuable. In the tweet, the son is given a vague instruction with no support, and no real value to the household. When we give jobs to children, it's important for them to understand why they're doing that job, and see that it matters. But "take care of your mother" is a nothing task that only serves to reinforce a particular idea of gender essentialism in the home.
Secondly, the author's task was delegated to him by both parents together (and I assume they discussed it beforehand). In the tweet, the task is given solely by the father regarding the mother. Did she want to be "taken care of"? Or does she rather have practical needs like hoovering or cleaning dishes that would be more useful to solve? This sort of task is simply about telling a child that men are in charge, without dealing with any of the actual responsibility of being in charge.
I think the author sees the tweet as the tweeter saying that children, or boys specifically, shouldn't be involved in the household, and - rightly - criticises that idea. But I think the tweet is more about the idea that men have some sort of secret duty of protection towards women that needs to handed down, father to son, above and beyond a child's regular work in the household. That second idea is absolutely worth criticising (although a tweet might not be the best way of doing it).
That's obviously false and the author is very clear about the developmental reasons why it is false.[1] What you dismiss as "gender essentialism" is biological fact: there are actual fundamental differences in how adolescent male cognitive structures develop and how adolescent female cognitive structures develop.[2] Sociopathy is a distinctly male problem, and societies where respected male role models don't specifically tell male adolescents to value taking care of others are societies where adolescent males join gangs [3], get radicalized online, and engage in school shootings [4].
[1] "It’s a reminder to boys that they have a duty to their families. It’s a cue to young males—who have a tendency to be self-obsessed—to think of someone other than themselves. It is intended to suppress entitlement."
[2] "Being female confers an advantage when it comes to empathy" Dr. Laurence Steinberg, Age of Opportunity 95-96 (2015).
[3] https://ojjdp.ojp.gov/sites/g/files/xyckuh176/files/pubs/96n...
[4] https://www.statista.com/statistics/476445/mass-shootings-in...
I absolutely agree that we need adult male role models to tell male adolescents that they need to take care of others. We need it for women too, but that's a less pressing need for most of our societies. I suspect that the original tweeter would agree to that too. But the point the tweet was making is that "look after your mother while I'm gone" is not that. As I pointed out in the comment, it (a) doesn't give any actionable instruction or help, and (b) doesn't come from a decision made by the whole community. Instead, it's just a harmful reinforcement of the idea that men have an inherent "protector" role that defines their identity.