Something I learned in CBT - while I can trust my mind to return facts I know most of the time, if I'm in a heated moment or excessively stressed out I can start making assumptions of the world (to save time and think faster?) - sometimes these assumptions are wrong.
Basically the therapist taught me to be less like ChatGPT, haha. I can express my assumptions and opinions of course, but I should note (at least to myself) where something I claim is an assumption I've made rather than a fact I know.
This was primarily for my low self-esteem and imposter syndrome feelings, but it works for pretty much everything.
---
Side note it turns out actual imposters don't have a mental portfolio of projects to hand that are actually really impressive when listed off in one sitting, haha
"oh yeah I tinkered on a project for a weekend while bored which went on to (indirectly) help raise millions for charity that one time"
If you also suffer from this I'd recommend making a "brag bin" - This is a tub I store complements and success stories that I can later go through when I'm feeling useless. This I adapted from (my systems use individual cards rather than documents) https://jvns.ca/blog/brag-documents/
Thanks for sharing this, I’ll have to try making my own brag docs. I’ve recently started a new position & I can feel the imposter syndrome creeping back in.
Some piece of psychology research said having others depend on you is a deep source of happiness. You were contributing to the hunter gatherer tribe or whatnot.
Another piece of psychological research. When you did something for a gold star reward, and they took the reward away, people stopped enjoying the activity.
Aka, just do kind deeds for others. Everything will be alright.
Also, do stuff for others, for free, using software. It's a really important part of enjoying your job.
I can think of a person in my family that needs to be needed in this way. Since I am somewhat independent, she is put off, probably subconsciously. Trying to find ways to be needed feels artificial. It’s hard to reconcile this. Maybe therapy.
“…for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ’If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.”
But in an old man who has known human joys and sorrows, and has achieved whatever work it was in him to do, the fear of death is somewhat abject and ignoble. The best way to overcome it -so at least it seems to me- is to make your interests gradually wider and more impersonal, until bit by bit the walls of the ego recede, and your life becomes increasingly merged in the universal life.
An individual human existence should be like a river: small at first, narrowly contained within its banks, and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfalls. Gradually the river grows wider, the banks recede, the waters flow more quietly, and in the end, without any visible break, they become merged in the sea, and painlessly lose their individual being.
The man who, in old age, can see his life in this way, will not suffer from the fear of death, since the things he cares for will continue. And if, with the decay of vitality, weariness increases, the thought of rest will not be unwelcome. I should wish to die while still at work, knowing that others will carry on what I can no longer do and content in the thought that what was possible has been done.
It’s cute but it doesn’t mean what people think it means. It’s not a call for hedonism or short-term happiness, but the complete opposite: a call for transcendence and meaning and good deeds reflected in eternity (i.e. after you die today).
This is not good advice and it largely goes against steve jobs work. This fundamentally works, for a small subset of people that are predisposed via their personality to extremely high levels of dilligence and conscientiousness who need to be told to stop working.
If you are the opposite, this advice basically says "stop sacrificing the short term for the long term, and stop working towards difficult but ultimately worthwhile things, and enjoy short term pleasure" which is terrible advice if you do that by habit anyway
It's not a rallying cry for hedonism, short-termism or defeatism.
It's a suggestion to correct course; to be self-aware; to get over your fears; to ensure you're pursuing things you find worthwhile and believe in; to accept that even for those things you will have days when you don't love them, but to consider a change if that feeling persists.
He goes on to say, “…all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose”, which is less often quoted but just as important.
I know that's how people take this advice. But that's not the explicit meaning of the words. It's like me telling you that you're an asshole and you should take it to mean that I love you.
I don't like the appeals to mortality (at all), the "things just fall away in the face of death" argument. It is like "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" all over again.
The "regrets" sound good, are honey for our eyes and ears. But of course, we reason, they should have—it's always them, not us—thought more about family and less about work, picked up the phone and called their friend, written a note to the family members who had invited them to their wedding anniversary.
In the end, we don't call our friend because we don't feel like it, maybe we tell ourselves that if we weren't so lazy and busy we would do it, as if laziness were an unappealable sentence instead of a choice. We don't change jobs not because we are afraid, but because we make some calculations about trade-offs.
We prefer to spend time at work rather than with the family maybe because the wife or husband has put on forty pounds since the wedding, and children surely are the greatest joy, but if we were to go back in time maybe we wouldn't make them. Plus, if we hadn't worked all those hours, who would have thrown money around the house?
How can we be on social media instead of talking to our family members, friends, kids, spouse, some may ask.
Maybe we are not just a victim of the times, it is just that we have talked to our friends 1500 times and in our pocket there is a world that engages us, interest us.
We would have loved to be more adventurous in expressing our feelings, of course, but we were well aware that those we wanted would never come with us.
We live life now and, apart from some unfortunate fellows, we are not likely to die tomorrow or in one week or in one year. Embarrassment will maybe go away when we are dying, but what about the 10/20/30 years or more between now and then?
> This is not good advice and it largely goes against steve jobs work.
I’d argue the opposite. It’s exactly aligned with his stated philosophy. Particularly in how this was influenced by an early LSD experience:
> It reinforced my sense of what was important—creating great things instead of making money, putting things back into the stream of history and of human consciousness as much as I could.
I don’t think that suggests hedonism or short term pleasure by any means.
Much more reasonable advice would be along the lines of
"If you aren't excited about what you are going to do today for many days in a row, you should change things up."
Substitute "excited" for any reasonable descriptor. This assumes a certain amount of agency, otherwise it is just depressing that things aren't great and you can't change them.
That might work for rich people. Most people have little choice in work etc. Often times it's better to just stick either it until the feeling passes, or to redefine your expectations to match reality. That's really hard, but much easier for most people due to lack of being rich.
I first encountered existentialism in HS within the book of “One Day in the life of Ivan D.” If a labor camp prisoner can find meaning and even beauty in those circumstances my HS self had quite a bit of opportunity around him. But it’s also a good entry point to stoicism, too.
Edit-special mention to Long Chen Pa’s “since everything in the universe is perfect in being exactly as it is, having nothing to do with acceptance/reject […] one may well burst out in laughter.” In a writing on Taoism (I think? Been way too long).
Edit2-Long Chen Pa must have been writing about Tibetan Buddhism.
Best advice I got was from my psychology professor. He said "if someone asks you to do something, especially in a social situation, tell them you will think about it". It prevents you from saying yes under pressure. I still rememeber using it when someone at my old workplace wanted me to sign up to be in a club (that had a fee). I never joined and I am proud that I didn't.
Also, I've learned a few things from Jordan Peterson: (1) reframe accurately what someone is telling you when they have a problem, and (2) give someome very specific positive feedback when they do something you like.
Finally, from my mom: don't care what other people think (in the sense of not letting it get in the way of doing something you know is right for you).
And a little bit of advice from myself: less is more. Don't accumulate things, don't go after the latest gadgets. Knowledge is power but too much knowledge (in the factual, scientific sense of knowledge) can take up mental space that would be better for personal development and care for others. And show respect for others AND the whole planet. It is what gave us life, and it's not a resource to use to create mostly irrelevant crap like AI and the latest iPhone.
Not if you will genuinely think about it. The assumption that it means no is often wrong. I’m cautious and say this often to things I then afterwards say yes to.
Explain which aspects you need to think about and why, and give a deadline for when you'll have the answer about those particular aspects.
The cases where you genuinely need to "think about it" are few and far between. I would even go as far as saying they are inexistant. The vast majority will be "I don't want to do it, but do I like you enough to do it?".
Disagree. Sometimes, I really do need to think about it...and especially with people I love (family and close friends), I sometimes do come back and say yes! And to be honest, I couldn't care less what others perceive.
>He said "if someone asks you to do something, especially in a social situation, tell them you will think about it". It prevents you from saying yes under pressure.
This is actually extremely obnoxious behavior and a big reason I stopped speaking to my mother. If the answer is "no" say "no." Only say "I'll think about it" if you really intend on thinking about it with a plan on when you'll get back to that person. OR the person you're talking to is a salesperson who is someone you will literally never see again.
If you have trouble saying no, then it's best to work on THAT.
Having tight positive feedback loops is great for motivation. For example when writing code, seeing immediately if it works. Either by hot reloading, automated testing or at least building it. I try to find the same in other mundane topics.
This resonates with me, and is what I always try to drum into less experienced engineers when we're pairing. You'd be surprised how often someone who doesn't know programming that well will sit down and code for a whole hour before checking if any of it works. I'm checking every line to see if it works before moving on!
Agree, that's definitely one of the gems of wisdom from the software product world that would work in many aspects of life.
Finding ways to get an MVP of something, getting feedback and iterating definitely makes one get the motivation from quick visible results, and also definitely teaches one a lesson or two about humility too.
"You are mistaken, your knowledge is partial, your certainty is a delusion, and real world consequences occur as a result. You desperately need to shut up. There are no exceptions."
You can test that advice here and now, first with your own apparent belief that advice can somehow be tested to be factually true, secondly by applying it to all of these comments.
Since you're on this site, sounds like your mom doesn't want you going after beautiful dummies.
My mom told me she saw lots of beautiful dumb girls marry successful men, and then their kids were dumb as bricks.
Also to be careful with dating short women because then your boys might be short. I said okay well then by that logic you don't want to date tall women either because you might have tall girls.
> Since you're on this site, sounds like your mom doesn't want you going after beautiful dummies.
It was actually part of a discussion about other people, not a direct advice to me; however it struck me as a hard truth and something I always thought but never formulated.
Long time ago a friend copied some albums onto minidisk for me.
When I played them I saw that he had named each album and track fully. This would have been done by manually choosing each letter using the arrow keys on the remote. It would have taken many hours to do this very tedious task.
When I expressed my amazement and thanks, he shrugged and said something that stuck with me ever since:
In other words, if it's worth doing, it's worth struggling through the many frustrating failures until you can do it well. Otherwise, you might get put off by not being able to do it "well"
I think it is meant to be true and also funny. First, you can start by agreeing with the advice, imagining how listening to other’s advice can be overrated. Then you realize that by listening to Andre you are actually breaking Andre’s advice (to listen to no one, including him!). So the advice is impossible to follow and quite clever.
This is a mix of Buddhist, Hindu, and Stoic philosophy: Ask yourself this, why do you do anything? For the sake of Profit? Recognition? Love? Or return of any kind?
Any deed done with reward in mind creates an expectation which, if not met, causes suffering. Similarly, you will end up focusing more on the reward than the task itself and will unable to be loyal to the task. The only reason you must do a task is because you must do the task i.e. it's your duty to do so (either self-imposed or originating from a construct you follow).
This is such a conflicting piece of advice that goes against the fundamental reward-driven human biochemistry. But I've found that in following it, you really begin to tune out suffering and start to discover something that's a bit above being human.
The suffering stems from the reward being external. If the reward is in the self or from the action itself, then there is less suffering.
Self fulfillment.
Less suffering only, to take into account an inability to act.
The last sentence sounds like a reward. Moreover, if I were to follow your advice, it would create an expectation of an exceptional discovery, that would cause me suffering, if not met.
That's a very valid point but I believe you touched upon the answer yourself, follow the advice but not because you want the exceptional discovery. Simply because.
Sure, I get it. BTW initially, when I read your post, I thought to myself - that's how my Roomba lives its live. It does things not for a reward, but out of inevitability. It was just constructed to be that way. Surely it's not on its way to enlightenment. But then I was reminded of the plot of a short film Zima Blue. If you ever find yourself with a Netflix subscription, you should watch it.
Define suffering, because the absolute of what you describe requires life with zero emotion and most would agree that a life like that would be depressing as hell. I've never met a depressed person who didn't say they were suffering.
I did say that this school of thought has roots in Stoicism so what you say does indeed make sense. But I guess there's more to it which can only be found if you follow it. There are some things that just can't be described/told and have to be felt.
I've been exploring some of the same schools of thought mentioned by the OP, and for me, one of the most critical aspects of living this day-to-day is a daily mindfulness practice. Emotions are not discarded, but your relationship with emotions changes.
Not meditation in the "focus on one thing to the exclusion of all else" sense, but mindfulness based on the practice of Vipassana, which roughly translates to "see things as they really are" and stems from Buddhism.
As part of this practice, one is taught that emotions are just appearances in consciousness like all other appearances in consciousness (sights, sounds, smells, feelings, physical sensations, etc), and by becoming aware of/observing emotions/thoughts instead of just feeling them and identifying with them, the power they hold fades quickly.
It's hard to describe the anti-suffering impact this seems to have in words, but for me, the difference has been remarkable. Emotions are still just as critical as ever to live a fulfilling life, but how you relate with those emotions can change with practice and re-framing.
I started this exploration as the ultimate skeptic, but have found it to be far more practically helpful than I expected. Having a good teacher seems to be important, as they will continue to help you navigate the earlier stages of figuring out what you're supposed to actually do (turns out it's more about what you're not doing).
I've personally been using Sam Harris' "Waking Up" app, and find that quite useful, but there are many more resources available.
A task that is autotelic is purposeful in itself (it is it’s own end goal, instead of being a means to another end goal).
This has been argued to be one of the defining characteristics of games.
Summarized into a saying: Treat every task as an end in itself, and you will experience more enjoyment. Enjoyment is a value in its own right. So do it, just for the sake of it.
I think this is more important in craftsmanship than we’d like to admit: striving for perfection for the sake of perfection.
It has also been argued that beauty in itself is a strong motivating force and the best heuristic to aim for in mathematics/physics.
And it's even more important in posts of power and responsibility. Carry the public office not because you want money, appreciation, and power, but because as a qualified person it's your duty to do so. Seek nothing but the joy of having been loyal to the job.
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Ok but what if the result of contemplating this is overwhelming existential dread? This comment kind of reduces life to a give and take philosophy. One where everything you do is to accomplish a task. I'm not sure that has anything to do with Buddhism. It's my understanding that part of Buddhism is the removal of the self, and appreciating the moment. I agree that focusing on the end result can detract from appreciating being in the moment, but this sounds sounds more like self-deception.
I prefer the Japanese concept that, and I'm paraphrasing here, "every action has a purpose." Putting value on the actions themselves adds an appreciation for the moment you are in, and the process you are doing. It then becomes a sign of respect for you to do everything in your life to the best of your ability. There's a whole philosophy about this, but the name of it escapes me.
A few things I've found that are related:
"The was of the peaceful warrior" - Book
I think often about this one I read a while ago (paraphrased):
“one of the quickest path to unhappiness is to not follow your true self”.
I believe we often face situations where we would rather be someone else or present traits that are not natural to us (eg to appear more likable). However, any behavior that is not led by who we really are, will inevitably make us like ourselves less. Stay true to yourself, your believes, and what brings you joy.
Functional programming matters. You look at everything as input => output, as cause => effect,... You don't need to dive into the internal complexity of anything, because it doesn't make sense. Complexity eventually failed, so you should never take care of them.
You can’t control the actions of others, only your own.
Another person is like a mountain: you can’t change anything about the mountain. You can only decide whether you’ll go around it, over it, or turn back.
I learned long ago to stop wasting my energy worrying about what other people did, and to focus on what I could do. Sometimes your actions can influence others, but you can’t make then do anything, they make their own choices and choose their own actions.
What you choose to do with this information determines whether you are cynical or not, not the presence of the information itself.
You could throw your hands up and say the world is screwed up so I should start screwing the world, or you could say the world is screwed up so I'm going to choose to try to make things around me a little better while also protecting myself a little bit along the way.
280 comments
[ 0.24 ms ] story [ 255 ms ] threadSomething I learned in CBT - while I can trust my mind to return facts I know most of the time, if I'm in a heated moment or excessively stressed out I can start making assumptions of the world (to save time and think faster?) - sometimes these assumptions are wrong.
Basically the therapist taught me to be less like ChatGPT, haha. I can express my assumptions and opinions of course, but I should note (at least to myself) where something I claim is an assumption I've made rather than a fact I know.
This was primarily for my low self-esteem and imposter syndrome feelings, but it works for pretty much everything.
---
Side note it turns out actual imposters don't have a mental portfolio of projects to hand that are actually really impressive when listed off in one sitting, haha
"oh yeah I tinkered on a project for a weekend while bored which went on to (indirectly) help raise millions for charity that one time"
If you also suffer from this I'd recommend making a "brag bin" - This is a tub I store complements and success stories that I can later go through when I'm feeling useless. This I adapted from (my systems use individual cards rather than documents) https://jvns.ca/blog/brag-documents/
Another piece of psychological research. When you did something for a gold star reward, and they took the reward away, people stopped enjoying the activity.
Aka, just do kind deeds for others. Everything will be alright.
Also, do stuff for others, for free, using software. It's a really important part of enjoying your job.
I find it to be the absolute opposite. It's absolutely draining.
You can quickly become exhausted and apathic when constantly having people rely on you.
And, lay out for them another important job to get on with.
- Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address
https://youtu.be/UF8uR6Z6KLc?t=562
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_mori
An individual human existence should be like a river: small at first, narrowly contained within its banks, and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfalls. Gradually the river grows wider, the banks recede, the waters flow more quietly, and in the end, without any visible break, they become merged in the sea, and painlessly lose their individual being.
The man who, in old age, can see his life in this way, will not suffer from the fear of death, since the things he cares for will continue. And if, with the decay of vitality, weariness increases, the thought of rest will not be unwelcome. I should wish to die while still at work, knowing that others will carry on what I can no longer do and content in the thought that what was possible has been done.
— Bertrand Russell
That "too many days in a row" is the critical part in this piece of advice in my opinion.
It's the Voldemort rule. (In the story he died ~75ish years old after making himself immortal, where most wizards easily live beyond 100)
* Not literally yet, but probably soon.
If you are the opposite, this advice basically says "stop sacrificing the short term for the long term, and stop working towards difficult but ultimately worthwhile things, and enjoy short term pleasure" which is terrible advice if you do that by habit anyway
It's a suggestion to correct course; to be self-aware; to get over your fears; to ensure you're pursuing things you find worthwhile and believe in; to accept that even for those things you will have days when you don't love them, but to consider a change if that feeling persists.
He goes on to say, “…all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose”, which is less often quoted but just as important.
The "regrets" sound good, are honey for our eyes and ears. But of course, we reason, they should have—it's always them, not us—thought more about family and less about work, picked up the phone and called their friend, written a note to the family members who had invited them to their wedding anniversary.
In the end, we don't call our friend because we don't feel like it, maybe we tell ourselves that if we weren't so lazy and busy we would do it, as if laziness were an unappealable sentence instead of a choice. We don't change jobs not because we are afraid, but because we make some calculations about trade-offs.
We prefer to spend time at work rather than with the family maybe because the wife or husband has put on forty pounds since the wedding, and children surely are the greatest joy, but if we were to go back in time maybe we wouldn't make them. Plus, if we hadn't worked all those hours, who would have thrown money around the house? How can we be on social media instead of talking to our family members, friends, kids, spouse, some may ask. Maybe we are not just a victim of the times, it is just that we have talked to our friends 1500 times and in our pocket there is a world that engages us, interest us. We would have loved to be more adventurous in expressing our feelings, of course, but we were well aware that those we wanted would never come with us.
We live life now and, apart from some unfortunate fellows, we are not likely to die tomorrow or in one week or in one year. Embarrassment will maybe go away when we are dying, but what about the 10/20/30 years or more between now and then?
I’d argue the opposite. It’s exactly aligned with his stated philosophy. Particularly in how this was influenced by an early LSD experience:
> It reinforced my sense of what was important—creating great things instead of making money, putting things back into the stream of history and of human consciousness as much as I could.
I don’t think that suggests hedonism or short term pleasure by any means.
Substitute "excited" for any reasonable descriptor. This assumes a certain amount of agency, otherwise it is just depressing that things aren't great and you can't change them.
Existence precedes essence.
I first encountered existentialism in HS within the book of “One Day in the life of Ivan D.” If a labor camp prisoner can find meaning and even beauty in those circumstances my HS self had quite a bit of opportunity around him. But it’s also a good entry point to stoicism, too.
Edit-special mention to Long Chen Pa’s “since everything in the universe is perfect in being exactly as it is, having nothing to do with acceptance/reject […] one may well burst out in laughter.” In a writing on Taoism (I think? Been way too long). Edit2-Long Chen Pa must have been writing about Tibetan Buddhism.
Also, I've learned a few things from Jordan Peterson: (1) reframe accurately what someone is telling you when they have a problem, and (2) give someome very specific positive feedback when they do something you like.
Finally, from my mom: don't care what other people think (in the sense of not letting it get in the way of doing something you know is right for you).
And a little bit of advice from myself: less is more. Don't accumulate things, don't go after the latest gadgets. Knowledge is power but too much knowledge (in the factual, scientific sense of knowledge) can take up mental space that would be better for personal development and care for others. And show respect for others AND the whole planet. It is what gave us life, and it's not a resource to use to create mostly irrelevant crap like AI and the latest iPhone.
There's not a single socially capable person that will not straight away understand that "I will think about it" means "no".
May as well say no.
The cases where you genuinely need to "think about it" are few and far between. I would even go as far as saying they are inexistant. The vast majority will be "I don't want to do it, but do I like you enough to do it?".
This is actually extremely obnoxious behavior and a big reason I stopped speaking to my mother. If the answer is "no" say "no." Only say "I'll think about it" if you really intend on thinking about it with a plan on when you'll get back to that person. OR the person you're talking to is a salesperson who is someone you will literally never see again.
If you have trouble saying no, then it's best to work on THAT.
I’ve done lots of things once and will never do them again.
Don't spoil it by making excuses. Make goals instead, and then: attain those goals.
You can test that advice here and now, first with your own apparent belief that advice can somehow be tested to be factually true, secondly by applying it to all of these comments.
Yes, I quoted myself.
My mom told me she saw lots of beautiful dumb girls marry successful men, and then their kids were dumb as bricks.
Also to be careful with dating short women because then your boys might be short. I said okay well then by that logic you don't want to date tall women either because you might have tall girls.
It was actually part of a discussion about other people, not a direct advice to me; however it struck me as a hard truth and something I always thought but never formulated.
When I played them I saw that he had named each album and track fully. This would have been done by manually choosing each letter using the arrow keys on the remote. It would have taken many hours to do this very tedious task.
When I expressed my amazement and thanks, he shrugged and said something that stuck with me ever since:
"If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well."
"If it's worth doing, it's word doing poorly"
In other words, if it's worth doing, it's worth struggling through the many frustrating failures until you can do it well. Otherwise, you might get put off by not being able to do it "well"
It has helped a lot with my hesitation to start projects.
> "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
vibe to it...
(or a Life of Brian "you're all individuals" thing)
Any deed done with reward in mind creates an expectation which, if not met, causes suffering. Similarly, you will end up focusing more on the reward than the task itself and will unable to be loyal to the task. The only reason you must do a task is because you must do the task i.e. it's your duty to do so (either self-imposed or originating from a construct you follow).
This is such a conflicting piece of advice that goes against the fundamental reward-driven human biochemistry. But I've found that in following it, you really begin to tune out suffering and start to discover something that's a bit above being human.
The suffering stems from the reward being external. If the reward is in the self or from the action itself, then there is less suffering. Self fulfillment.
Less suffering only, to take into account an inability to act.
Not meditation in the "focus on one thing to the exclusion of all else" sense, but mindfulness based on the practice of Vipassana, which roughly translates to "see things as they really are" and stems from Buddhism.
As part of this practice, one is taught that emotions are just appearances in consciousness like all other appearances in consciousness (sights, sounds, smells, feelings, physical sensations, etc), and by becoming aware of/observing emotions/thoughts instead of just feeling them and identifying with them, the power they hold fades quickly.
It's hard to describe the anti-suffering impact this seems to have in words, but for me, the difference has been remarkable. Emotions are still just as critical as ever to live a fulfilling life, but how you relate with those emotions can change with practice and re-framing.
I started this exploration as the ultimate skeptic, but have found it to be far more practically helpful than I expected. Having a good teacher seems to be important, as they will continue to help you navigate the earlier stages of figuring out what you're supposed to actually do (turns out it's more about what you're not doing).
I've personally been using Sam Harris' "Waking Up" app, and find that quite useful, but there are many more resources available.
This has been argued to be one of the defining characteristics of games.
Summarized into a saying: Treat every task as an end in itself, and you will experience more enjoyment. Enjoyment is a value in its own right. So do it, just for the sake of it.
I think this is more important in craftsmanship than we’d like to admit: striving for perfection for the sake of perfection.
It has also been argued that beauty in itself is a strong motivating force and the best heuristic to aim for in mathematics/physics.
Shopping Cart Theory:
https://i.redd.it/ym8g7jqtw6y41.png
This idea is taught in The 7HoHEP by Stephen Covey.
I prefer the Japanese concept that, and I'm paraphrasing here, "every action has a purpose." Putting value on the actions themselves adds an appreciation for the moment you are in, and the process you are doing. It then becomes a sign of respect for you to do everything in your life to the best of your ability. There's a whole philosophy about this, but the name of it escapes me.
A few things I've found that are related: "The was of the peaceful warrior" - Book
This is water - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC7xzavzEKY
Sorry if this is a little rambly, I have ADHD and my adderoll is doing its thing.
I believe we often face situations where we would rather be someone else or present traits that are not natural to us (eg to appear more likable). However, any behavior that is not led by who we really are, will inevitably make us like ourselves less. Stay true to yourself, your believes, and what brings you joy.
Simplicity matters.
Another person is like a mountain: you can’t change anything about the mountain. You can only decide whether you’ll go around it, over it, or turn back.
I learned long ago to stop wasting my energy worrying about what other people did, and to focus on what I could do. Sometimes your actions can influence others, but you can’t make then do anything, they make their own choices and choose their own actions.
There are other ways to make people do things as well like money or force.
Only strong minded people not afraid of death are truly immovable mountains.
"You can't change people, you can only manipulate them."
Society is messed up. Tech is messed up. But it doesn't matter. You just have to make a positive contribution somehow, anyway.
Still, planning is often worthwhile.
This changed how i view people completely for good.
You could throw your hands up and say the world is screwed up so I should start screwing the world, or you could say the world is screwed up so I'm going to choose to try to make things around me a little better while also protecting myself a little bit along the way.
Used mostly in bookkeeping and nucleair monitoring, but very usefull outside it as well.
Sounds silly but you'd be amazed just how much truth lies within it.