I suspect you don't actually want to "ramp down existence," but I have felt this way before, so I will share my experience.

I used to think that there was no righteous way to live and that I should give up. What I realised was that it was inaction in my own life that I actually found distasteful. I was living in a cruel world but I was a bystander in it, and as a bystander, a tacit endorser of the motions of society.

This feeling becomes more dull as I do my best to live authentically and with integrity by my own standards. Most pathways in life will be painful at some point. It's important that I choose my own pain, not have it chosen for me.

I hope this is of some value to you.

Death is short term hard, long term easy. Life is all over the place - sometimes hard, sometimes easy, usually misunderstood and massively influenced by whatever happens to be one’s current mood. Some have stable moods, some swing, some are more/less influenced by sleep, exercise & blood sugar level.

Ethics, morality, and philosophical approach in general typically evolve over a lifetime. Maybe your current one is incompatible. Ok. Maybe it’ll be the same forever. Ok.

But then again, maybe it won’t? Are you still young enough to be sure? (I’ve been so sure of so many things...)

Personally I found some semblance of peace when I finally accepted who and what I am, tried less to fit in and more to live & let live, and found a sleep, exercise & eating pattern that worked well.

Maybe you would too?