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Ask HN: Are Spaghetti Coders Immortal?

2 points by LangIsAllWeNeed ↗ HN
I keep hearing about clean code and telling myself I'm a clean coder...... but what about becoming an indispensable noodle nester? I've decided to make a draft of the steelman case for the noodle nest spaghetti monster approach:

I mean if I write a noodle nest empire, will I be less likely to get laid off again?

It's also way more fun and cool to say "I'm working on my noodle nest" than "I'm working on my clean code."

Neat little blocks hmm? With Noodle Nest method, your code can twist and turn in any direction, just like a bowl of noodles. With Noodle Nest, you don't waste time worrying about readability or maintainability. You just write, and let your code take on a life of its own.

Even better, learn assembly. Assembly++ noodle nest ++ kubernates == immortal ####

; This function calculates the factorial of n ; Don't try to understand how it works ; Just trust me fact: push rbp mov rbp,rsp mov rax,[rbp+8] cmp rax,[rbp+16] jne .L1 mov rax,[rbp+24] jmp .L2 .L1: inc [rbp+16] mul [rbp+16] mov [rbp+24],rax jmp fact .L2: pop rbp ret

####

7 comments

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neximo64
Does your noodle code solve a customer problem? Solving customer problems = immortality.
LangIsAllWeNeed
program main implicit none integer :: i ! Declare an integer variable character(len=16) :: msg ! Declare a character variable msg = "Immortal noodle nester" ! Assign the string value do i = len(msg), 1, -1 ! Loop backwards through each character of the string write(,'(a)', advance='no') msg(i:i) ! Write each character without advancing to a new line call sleep(1) ! Pause for one second end do write(,'(a)') "" ! Write an empty line to advance to a new line end program main
shoo
this is a crucial point.

if the noodle nest does not solve an important customer problem, it can be eaten or thrown out. being eaten or thrown out is not the pathway to immortality. it must provide an important business function or feature, yet resist low-risk modification or understanding.

immortality of a noodle nest that solves an important customer problem may be amplified by wrapping the noodle nest in a faux-OO shell. E.g. in C++, one could create a single "god" class, define a large amount of mutable state belonging to the class, and then distributing the noodle nest between dozens of methods that take no arguments, return no values, mess with the noodle state, and mutually recursively call each other. immortality of a faux-OO noodle nest wrapped inside a god object can be further enhanced by applying the GoF "monotheism" pattern to ensure there is only one god object instantiated at runtime.

LangIsAllWeNeed
This post was just a complete lazy joke. I will recalibrate humor. I really appreciate all the serious nuanced replies though and feel bad now haha.
dfrankle
Respectfully, I don't think writing spaghetti code is the key to immortality. While it might be fun and interesting, spaghetti code can be difficult to maintain and debug. It's also not the most efficient way to write code. Clean code is important for readability and maintainability, which will make your code more efficient in the long run.
LangIsAllWeNeed
I know :(, I just want to play
dfrankle
It sounds like you're looking for a way to have fun with coding and it seems like the Noodle Nest method is a great way to explore that.