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My co-founder is a pothead

7 points by mudil ↗ HN
My co-founder, who also happens to be my brother, is a chronic pot user. This is getting to the point that it significantly interferes with our business development and progress.

He wakes up late, sometimes 1-2 pm. He lacks any desires to develop the site, to come up with new features or plans. My ideas are dismissed by him because new features/plans mean more work for him. Everything he does relating to our business has absolute lack of interest on his part. Ironically, he makes his living of the site, and I don't. (I am well compensated at my full time job, so the website is a sidekick for me.)

What can I do with him? How do you deal with colleagues like that? It is getting to the point that I fear I will disavow him one day and we will loose the site...

11 comments

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rdtsc
> My co-founder, who also happens to be my brother

There is your problem. Out of all the family- and friend- run businesses I know most end ruining the business and the family (or friendship).

mudil
What about Coen brothers? They make pretty good movies.
mudil
Well, I kinda agree with you, especially since he is a younger brother. But the truth of matter, the problem is in his pot smoking, and not in family-run business. There are plenty of family businesses (from Coen brothers to small shops in Calcutta), and they generally do OK.
kls
the problem is in his pot smoking

I tend to disagree, drug use is usually only a symptom of a problem. His problem seems to be lack of motivation. He may be masking that lack or his internal disappointment with himself for it with his use of drugs.

In my life I know an individual who smokes pot, she is also one of the most productive people I know. The problem is most assuredly not the pot, it is the lack of motivation. The pot may be contributing to it, but it is not 100% responsible for the lack of motivation, there are internal issues at play, some of which could be self worth or just out and out laziness.

_delirium
I actually know a lot more successful family-run businesses than non-family-run businesses, but I don't have statistics either, so it'd be interesting if someone does. Of those I personally know about, a restaurant, for example, started by two random people is much more likely to founder over personality issues than a family-run restaurant is.
[dead] mbzastava
Nice point-blank statement there buddy. The problem is the chronic pot use, not the fact that his partner is a family or friend...
[dead] mbzastava
tell him that his pot use needs to be brought into moderation. you will not disavow him over pot, you know better, but your side project will most likely come to a halt as it is not entirely in your interest to maintain these stressful encounters when you don't really need to. And he is obviously more interested in his pot right now. the best bet would be to start painting him mental images of what his life will look like 10 years down the road, and to consider the real levels of remorse and regret he may feel if he does not take a slightly more serious approach to life and his future.
brudgers
Your pothead brother makes his living off the site - i.e. it is a lifestyle business and that lifestyle is...well, pothead.

I don't get the impression that his being a pothead was something you were unaware of going into it.

SlipperySlope
Thirty years ago I smoked pot that I grew myself every day for a couple of years. I have been straight for twenty years, and what made me that way was the choice between dreaming of accomplishments, and the reality of actually accomplishing goals.

Pot is a distraction for someone in a startup. You might confront your brother and compel him to make a choice. I suppose that he must be separated from his friends and social situations in which he smokes pot. He should strengthen his character to derive pleasure more from his work.

mudil
Thirty years ago pot was very different from what it is today. I suppose, I have to agree, I have to make him face a choice. But then what? If he doesn't change, do I leave or force him to leave?
SlipperySlope
If he does not change, then if you can make him leave with estrangement, then I suggest making him leave. Otherwise the business is ruined but the sibling relationship may endure.