You don't seem to be getting the point; you do not, in fact, have it straight.
The Point: people are usually good at things because they enjoy doing them. People succeed at "careers" or other "things-that-take-a-long-time-to-succeed-at" because they see at least part of it as not-work while others see it as tedious.
Second of all, you think this is new-age? Have you seen zenhabits.net?
You come off as angry and looking for an argument. The author clearly isn't talking about every action and behavior pattern you might enjoy/not enjoy. The author isn't asserting a new paradigm of behavioral philosophy. You've apparently been here for a while, you seem to have read the entire article, and yet you don't recognize the point through the context?
Great. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more
While you seem to think that the OP is so obviously false that it shouldn't be said, I think that is so obviously true that it goes without saying.
It just seems utterly obvious to me that the greatest things are achieved by people who are driven to achieve the goal. Though that drive my not be provided by love for the process. Sometimes the drive might be provided by obsession or compulsion or some other emotion.
It also seems obvious to me that you can't just will yourself into having this sort of drive. Though, for all I know, there may be techniques (e.g., hypnosis?) that might help with developing drive, it seems clear that if there are such techniques, they are not uniformly known or effective. I certainly think that trying to develop discipline is something that is essential, but you're still going to have to have some innate drive too.
Unlike you, I didn't see anything in the OP that says that you should just do anything that you love to do, all other consideration be damned. It only claimed that what you chose to do should be something that you love. As I said above, I would have thought this so obviously true as to go without saying.
Try it. Been there—after a short while you'll see that, in fact, you hate doing these things. It makes you feel sick, and nobody likes feeling sick. You'll learn that you actually like doing things that do good for you (it's not always obvious).
Regarding the article, didn't really like it as well—I think its point is somewhat vague and unconvincing—‘universe trying to tell us something’… And I don't think it's as simple as ‘finding what you love’ (since questions like yours legitimately arise in response), it's more about learning to love what you do first. Enjoying the process should be of higher priority than the end goal—that's what it's about, I think.
It does seem like the people who are naturally most driven are naturally more likely to succeed, because motivation is at the root of almost everything humans do wrong on a macro scale.
So there's a reason that a lot of self-help is about trying to hack motivation. Is it working? Not yet, I don't think, but it seems like we might be on the cusp of it working. I guess your observation boils down to "we haven't figured out the best ways to hack motivation yet", which appears to be true.
I guess the part that seems wrong is giving up on self-help because it usually doesn't work. I would argue not to give up on self-help, but instead to figure out self-help that actually works. The benefits are huge: instead of spending your life running because you love it so much, you instead hack yourself to love starting successful businesses. Not because being successful by itself is the goal, but because doing so is the best way to actually make the world a better place.
Precisely. There's no hack for motivation that's more effective than actually enjoying something. If you like it, you'll do it, and with time the rewards (often) increase. If what you're doing is good for you, you may introduce some positive habits.
As an example, I hate going to the gym. It doesn't matter how much I should be going, I just hate it. The routine tasks, the big guys who grunt, the sweaty machines: gross! On the other hand, a mountain bike ride is so much fun that I don't even realize I'm getting exercise. I go back for the enjoyment, but I get the benefit of a workout.
Positive reinforcement and habit formation can make a big difference in whether or not something is viewed as enjoyable.
From the same article as the Target pregnancy prediction[1]:
Over the next four months, those participants who deliberately identified cues and rewards spent twice as much time exercising as their peers. Other studies have yielded similar results. According to another recent paper, if you want to start running in the morning, it’s essential that you choose a simple cue (like always putting on your sneakers before breakfast or leaving your running clothes next to your bed) and a clear reward (like a midday treat or even the sense of accomplishment that comes from ritually recording your miles in a log book). After a while, your brain will start anticipating that reward — craving the treat or the feeling of accomplishment — and there will be a measurable neurological impulse to lace up your jogging shoes each morning.
Relevant to this discussion is pg's essay on "schlep blindness"[0]:
> The most dangerous thing about our dislike of schleps is that much of it is unconscious. Your unconscious won't even let you see ideas that involve painful schleps. That's schlep blindness.
Hone in on the schleps you typically avoid and be totally honest with yourself why you're not doing something.
There's a lot to be said for habit for making tasks happen that are hard to motivate. If you can spend a week consciously putting on running shoes every morning before breakfast, then it gets easier to do it on other days. Key to this is to break it down. Instead of a task being a single behemoth (run 5km), it should be a series of small steps that by themselves are easier to take (put on shoes by the bed), each leading onto the other.
I agree. Creating habits and reducing obstacles makes a huge difference. For some time, I just stopped buying bus passes, which "forced me" to walk to work.
The nice part was that I was able to listen to podcasts on my walk, and this resulted in a really nice way to start my day.
This is ridiculous. The only useful thing is the suggestion to find what you love. But the author says nothing about the path to finding what you love. This isn't easy for everyone. There is a reason many people go through several career changes in their lives.
Here is my view on self help. Self help is about trying to cultivate the thoughts and processes for being the best version of your self. It's about actively creating your own thoughts, motivations, actions, goals, dreams, etc. There are a variety of ways for one to think about this stuff: books, conversation, workshops, or self reflection. But it is valuable stuff. Suggesting to forget all of this is horrible advice.
Sure, I think the main problem is the title of the post. "Forget Self Improvement" a pretty broad statement for how little you say about one part of self improvement. I suppose it served its part in creating controversy (and views), but I wish bloggers didn't resort to this.
I agree with this.. "why?" is the right question to ask before choosing to do anything. But unless I'm mistaken, this isn't what your article is about.
When I was starting my company, I had to cold-call a few dozen people to test a hypothesis. I delayed it for weeks, and when I finally forced myself to pick up the phone, I dreaded dialing every digit.
Today, three years into running the company, picking up the phone to call a dozen people is peanuts. I don't like doing it, I'm not very good at it, I delegate it whenever I can, but if call I must, I'll do it, I'll be efficient at it, and I'll get results.
Saying "you didn't do it because you weren't meant to" is nonsense. Get your act together, stop making excuses for yourself, and do the uncomfortable thing that must be done, even if you lose sleep over it. If you do it long enough, it will seize being uncomfortable and become second nature. Shakespeare said it best through Hamlet:
Assume a virtue, if you have it not.
That monster, custom, who all sense doth eat,
Of habits devil, is angel yet in this,
That to the use of actions fair and good
He likewise gives a frock or livery,
That aptly is put on. Refrain to-night;
And that shall lend a kind of easiness
To the next abstinence: the next more easy;
For use almost can change the stamp of nature,
And master ev’n the devil or throw him out
With wondrous potency.
The argument isn't one of never doing unpleasant things. (I don't like changing the oil on my car, but I know it needs to be done.)
Instead, I suggest examining why a desire seems important, and whether it might be more of a societal (or ego-driven) thing.
Additionally, I believe that if you take the time to find out what you really enjoy, some things will sort themselves out.
I've been really good at getting off my ass and doing things, as you suggest. In spite of this willingness to act, some of those things weren't as necessary as I had once believed.
"Enjoyable" can also be a frame of mind. While doing a task that on the surface seems unenjoyable focus on the enjoyable parts and/or the final destination ("finishing the race").
I still have a problem with the statement "...make time to find out what you really enjoy". Sure, everybody wants that.
But take the example of running, or writing. Well like many people, I hated running at first, I really did. But I sticked to it because, well maybe it was some kind of challenge I had set to myself. And I got better at it. And I started to enjoy the feeling, to understand the messages from my body.
This is a classic example and I'm sure I'm not the only one to whom that happened. But let's now take the example of writing. I'm no writer, just a casual blogger (at best). I write by periods, but there is something I noticed: when I write often, inspiration and creativity flows more easily, and I tend to enjoy the activity more, while when I'm writing sporadicly, inspiration just doesn't come, and writing becomes a chore.
The opposite works too. I've always loved playing video games. This is something I really enjoyed doing. But you know what? When I turned 20, I decided that I would no longer play on a regular basis because I had better things to do with my life. Now I only play about 20 days a year, during the holidays. And that's it. And I'm happy because while I wasn't playing video games, well I got better at programming, I read Nietzsche, spent some time with friends (all things that I used to enjoy less that playing video games), and learnt how to love these things more than playing games.
Another point I'd like to raise is the fact that some things are more difficult to appreciate than others. Take wine for instance. Very few people like wine when they first try it, but when you get better at distinguishing the flavors, it is something amazing. The same goes with coffee (I mean coffee without sugar, cream, and other spoilers). Same with Jazz or Classic music. You have to learn how to appreciate these things.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: don't trust your first impression. Or the second. Or the third. You can only know what you really enjoy if you try different things, and stick to them long enough.
So what you're saying is that we all need to make time to find out what we really enjoy? tongue in cheek
I agree and I can mention many examples of my own in this regard where I didn't enjoy something until I tried for a while.
What a luxury to have the time and resources to "find what you really enjoy." It seems to be a first world problem kinda thing and coming from 1st/3rd (South Africa) it's a little paradigm shift (whilst reading) to appreciate where everyone is coming from.
It's a point that really does need refinement, though. Even if only for the first-world young adult with the luxury of misinterpreting it and wasting years of first attempts.
"Taking time to find out what we really enjoy" by default sounds like taking the time to try lots of different things, assuming that when you try "the right one" you'll know instantly that you've found it.
That's a first-world problem to be sure -- think of kids in their early 20's (still kids...) trying out entry-level job after entry-level job and finding them all tedious and boring (well, yeah, you're not going to get a really interesting job in any industry until you're capable of it). Or traveling the world on Daddy's dime to "find themselves", but still not really finding much besides how to ask for a beer in 7 languages.
Too much choice is a bad thing psychologically, on the whole. Too little sucks more, to be sure, but the sweet spot is not "always higher".
"What you really enjoy" (like "your true love") isn't some fated truth that needs to be found, and you'll know it instantly on sight. There are tons of things that could be "what you really enjoy", and tons of people who might be "your true love", but either way it's going to take prolonged effort to make that come true.
I think the argument is less about "don't do the (relatively) minor uncomfortable things", and more about aligning yourself so that the major part of your work is something you love. Love writing, not being an author. Love running a business, not the title of CEO. And if you don't love either of those, find what you love, and put yourself in a situation where that is what you do.
Your sticking to the narrative and not what actually happens in a practical sense.
You dont get to be CEO till your company has happy customers paying you moeny and your making a tidy profit. Till then you'll do anything and evertyhign thats necessary - most of it is unpleasent. 10% is fun.
Exactly. I am using a lot of my time figuring out how to get on a more impactful project.
But I think even that would be better served by me judst launching my tiny damn site already!
In my experience, pleasantness and unpleasantness are day to day feelings that sometimes work in my favor and sometimes don't. Many times I have a responsibility which requires unpleasant things, and it makes it more difficult to do, and might make me unhappy if my happiness is based on daily frustrations and successes. That type of happiness tends to have very little to do with our goals. Since it's also very unpredictable, seeking this form of happiness is elusive and error prone.
Maybe there's a different emotion I could seek in my life. Potentially that feeling of accomplishment. Accomplishing something feels great. A lot of people have realized this, single player video games were based on the idea. It is, however, not hapiness. Happiness comes and goes.
If I allow my happiness to flow and fluctuate and act as it always does, and rather focus on getting that feeling of accomplishment, my attitudes change. When I approach a challenge, I don't focus on whether it will make me happy. When I do that, I think about the immediate perks, but also about all the potential frustrations that accompaygne the task.
So I think about it as accomplishment. If I do this task, I will accomplish something. Taking out the trash, 10 points. I don't care about the actual points I have, as the points aren't what I seek. So I don't even keep track. But as games are goals and games have points, it might be easier to connect in your mind with some points.
Go out running. Don't think about how long you have to run for, or how fast you have to run. Don't even worry about the clothes you're in. Just get on your street, and run in a direction. Any speed. Any pace. Now that you've started, and you've jogged enough to get warmed up, pick an object a short distance away and race to it as fast as you can. When you get there you'll be winded, and tired, and you might even vomit. Vomiting is just some random frustration though, it has nothing to do with the accomplishment that you just ran faster than you have in the past x years.
If you do decide you like accomplishing things, then this pattern of setting goals and reaching them can be done with tasks lists and check boxes. Build a momentum of doing it.
The next step is to align your goals to your dreams. Then take that momentum and checklists, and you'll feel more energy than ever to getting what you want done.
I'm not specifically referring to you keeptrying, I was simply writing some ideas down and ended up switching to second person since it was more natural for me to write that way.
I like this perspective. There's just one problem with it: while many would likely find it sensible, most don't share your ability act in a rational fashion.
I'm of the mind that most people are overwhelmed by impulses; therefore, they choose what's immediately desirable, over what they know to be the right thing to do.
Then of course, my post isn't altogether that different from yours, in terms of its applicability to the common person. While I can ask folks to reconsider their motivations, and seek out the things they love, few will in fact do so.
I don't think anyone is incapable of learning. I'd say the reasons more people don't do it are (it's not easy) and (there's no hard evidence, therefore it's easy to dismiss).
At the end of the day, there's one solid evidence of advice that I've ignored one too many times.
You don't start out this way with it being a habit. You start out by saying "I want to make this interesting. What game can I play while I do it?" Maybe it's seeing how fast you can take out the garbage. Maybe it's something just picked up for the sake of the challenge (the GP used running as an example).
The point though is that if you do this a few times, it will start to happen more and more and eventually you will make a habit out of it.
I am also going to point out something else that the author of the article misses that you get.
When I was just out of college, I worked in a cafeteria for a year, serving food. Sometimes I washed dishes (300 people per meal to one dishwasher for dishes and one for pots and pans). One thing I found was that this was boring work, but there were ways I could make it fun. What was my limit in washing dishes? (with the mechanical help, about 450 people per meal before I had to ask for help).
Serving food? I'd identify all the foreign students and try to learn the food terms in as many languages as I could. Cutting turkey with a carving knife for sandwiches? I'd see if I could do as well as a deli slicer in thinness and consistency, as long as I could do it fast enough not to allow a line to form. Heck I even had Saudi students make up signs in Arabic to indicate pork and wine in dishes.
My bosses hated the fact that I played all these games. They also hated the fact that I would step in to help out the lunch cook when needed if it didn't mean totally abandoning my post. They said it wasn't my job and I was helping someone else be lazy. I said I was having fun and improving building skills at the same time. That said more about them than about me.
If there is one thing that has served me well in starting my business it's that approach. There is nothing so dull that it cannot be made a game out of, where I cannot challenge myself to do it better.
I would say though that it is important to have goals that don't always align with your dreams. Sometimes one has to make grunt-work interesting in seemingly meaningless ways, but those ways are never meaningless. For example (when I am living alone, which I sometimes do), I might challenge myself as to how little I can spend on food in a month while eating a healthy diet. Sometimes out of all this some degree of creativity is born, and that makes all the difference. Sometimes that creativity comes back to my business.
And so.....
Self-improvement is not something to be learned from a book. It comes from making actions into challenges, first a few, then many.... until it becomes a habit. When we exercise we get stronger. When we exercise our overall capacities we become greater.
I agree that you cant think in terms of pleasantness/unpleasantness but we are human and we will feel good or bad about anything we do. Its inbuilt.
When I say 90% of being an entrepreneur is unpleasant - I mean it in a good way :). Ie, its unpleasant because its new to me and therefore I'm learning and I would still do all this crap than be at my old 9-to-5 where I was chasing other people's dreams - namely my bosses dream of getting promoted.
There's a huge difference between unpleasant and unhappy. :)
My whole point is that too many people keep thinking of finding that great job where you do what you love. But the whole point is the only way you can get to that point is by being successful in the first place - enough so that you can pay others to do what you don't like.
So while building up that capital of success your going to be doing heckuva lot of stuff you don't like.
I think a lot of people don't get this.
YOU CANT GET TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE WITHOUT HUGE PAIN aka SACRIFICE.
This is very true. If starting a company is something you've always wanted to do (like me) then when you do it you'll find so much crap that you dislike or even hate but still have to do.
Some examples:
1. reading through all your contracts, legalese, terms of service and everything else you need a lawyer for. Mind numbingly boring but also real important.
2. writing copy for your site.
3. pitching your company in a bar at the end of a 80 hour week where you just want a drink in peace.
4. dealing with psycho customers who troll you for no good reason on forums where your promoting your company
5. Accounting.
Starting a company is probably the most extreme example though. Most profressions are just that - ie made up of 1 profession.
Starting a company is a multi-profession profession. Most of which you'd have never done before.
I've been a partner in our agency for 12 years now. It's been a hell of a lot of work. Additionally, the fun and interesting parts have always outweighed the bad.
Again, my point isn't to avoid anything uncomfortable. It's to do it for the right reasons, and to ensure that you aren't procrastinating at something you dislike, when you could be getting ahead at what you do like.
1. Doing cold-calls because you have the discipline to do it.
2. Doing cold calls because you love to do it.
It's obviously (2).
Therefore, when possible, love what you do.
I see myself as very lazy but looking back the past 4 years in university, I've done well because I "work hard". I spend ~20 hours a week programming and learning new skills, not because I have the discipline to do it, but because it is simply what I do. Classmates who rely only on discipline alone don't stand a chance.
IMHO1 sometimes discipline is necessary to achieve your goals, but try not to depend on it too much.
I used to hate making hamburgers at McDonald's. After many months it became second nature. Three years later I asked myself: "Why am I doing this besides for the $15 an hour, which I can easily get programming for other people". When I couldn't come up with an answer, I quit. The worst thing one can do is to have mediocrity becoming second nature without it having helped achieve any of one's goals.
IMHO2 if you must rely on discipline to do something, make it something worthwhile.
I think this article makes a valid point, but manages to miss the bigger picture. It's true, you should love what you do. You should want whatever it is you're going after. BUT (and this is a big but), what you're going after isn't always going to be lovable. In fact, sometimes you'll downright hate it.
The problem with achievement in any endeavor is that people assume it should FEEL easy. They assume that their lack of enthusiasm at any given moment is an indication that something is wrong.
The writer who has writer's block is apt to tell himself he's a fraud.
The guy who's had a fight with his girlfriend might be inclined to question the relationship.
The entrepreneur who's business is on the rocks might wonder if a cubicle job is a better idea.
The beginning programmer who struggles with the concepts might wonder if he's smart enough.
In the face of obstacles, it becomes very easy to question our path. The difference between success and failure in many cases is, i think, the knowledge and wisdom to understand that anything worth doing or having is HARD. It isn't all tea and roses. Sometimes you're going to want to give up and that's ok. That's what SHOULD happen, because if what you're doing is so easy that it never challenges you, then you're likely not doing anything amazing. True motivation is seeing the end game and still having the balls to slog through the miles of crap to get there.
As a marathon runner, I can confirm that even after running for 10 years, there are still many, many days where it just plain sucks. The real secret is that the hardest days, the ones when you're tired or sick or just not feeling it, are the ones that matter the most for your training program.
You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
I think people just stopped liking doing hard stuff. (Example: php blog vs searching binary tree). Nowadays is more about memorizing and being "creative" than thinking and problem solving.
True but one unmentioned problem: how to find the thing you love?
What ideas do you find yourself thinking about when you catch your focus drifting off onto something else?
Is it another project? Something specific? Or maybe a more abstract concept -- something that's been ruminating in the back of your mind for several years?
Whatever it is, explore it more deeply. This may guide you to your true passion. Your true potential. If you're not passionate about something, it will never consume you so it won't resonate in your mind long enough to find true genius within it.
I should think of "them" and what they want to hear?
The country thing... not funny.
What's Your proudest US National park? I vote Yellowstone. It has bears, God.
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WALDEN.TXT
ugh the aisles of
the wood, with occasional vistas through which you see the water.
My Muse may be excused if she is silent henceforth. How can you
expect the birds to sing when their groves are cut down?
Now the trunks of trees on the bottom, and the old log canoe,
and the dark surrounding woods, are gone, and the villagers, who
scarcely know where it lies, instead of going to the pond to bathe
or drink, are thinking to bring its water, which should be as sacred
as the Ganges at least, to the
----
My expert interpretation... we don't want Ganges pilgrims.
The Grand Canyon is cool. I saw Arch park. Would You bless someone who brought parks to people. I guess TV is good enough. Umm... it's on the Internet, huh! I like Angel Falls in Venezuala.
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\DARWIN.TXT
s attached to other objects, either directly or
by means of a stalk, and their bodies are enclosed by a calcareous shell
composed of several pieces, two of which can open to give issue to a bunch
of curled, jointed tentacles, which represent the limbs.
COCCUS.--The genus of Insects including the Cochineal. In these the male
is a minute, winged fly, and the female generally a motionless, berry-like
mass.
COCOON.--A case usually of silky material, in which insects are frequently
enveloped during
Ohhh!! I thought about asking about healing. Movie cacoon. No not really. I think it's preposterous. Bears eat berries. implants for deaf people? Artificial limbs.
Sometimes, I think I should have sought a higher purpose for my professional life. It doesn't bug me much, but I am amazed when I stop to think I never considered doing good as a reason.
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
fat thy bones: and thou shalt be
like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail
not.
58:12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places:
thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou
shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to
dwell in.
58:13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy
pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of
the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour
Newsflash: There's nothing you will love all the time. Everything has some tedium. Suck it up, and get it done. Call it "self improvement" if you must. But really, it's about having some willpower to get through the things you must to achieve the things you want.
The reason this upsets me: I see quite a few people flounder because they feel they still haven't found what they love.
Because sooner or later, they always hit that dull moment. And so they just jump from one thing to the next, disappointed that they just can't get to that mythical sweet spot everybody mumbles about.
I'm not saying willpower yourself through years of drudgery. I'm just saying that there is nothing that will you infallibly get out of bed and motivated every single day of your life. There'll be dull spots, there'll be lulls, there might even occasionally be a dull week or month.
If I read things like "The writer gives in to the joy of playing with words, moving past the aggravation", I want to scream. The writer often struggles with words, and occasionally hates having chosen that profession. And yet the good ones stay with it. Entrepreneurs notice long days, and they occasionally wish they didn't have to suffer through them - but they're compelled to still build that vision. (And some days, the only thing that compels them is knowing that their business might run into trouble if they don't go to work)
I've had the privilege to know world-class people in several different professions. They all occasionally hate all the hard work that goes into it, but they continue it. Not because they "love" it, but because they're compelled to excel at what they do, and they're already good at what they do.
What they love are those few, precious moments where they are at the peak of their craft, and everything seems effortless. What they know is that you pay with a lot of hard work for each of these moments.
I agree. Instead of doing only what you love or constantly searching for what you love people should be focusing on being the best at whatever it is they are doing. I think that will do far more to help a person be successful than any other factor.
If you're working on a startup, you should be thinking about things like this. Particularly when you're working those long hours, it becomes important to ask why you're doing it, and if it's still working.
At least that's my perspective. When I started in business (at 26 years of age) the only thing I thought about was the work. In time, I learned that while I still like what I do at the office, there are bigger questions to be asked.
I can understand why you'd be cynical. Perhaps the "up vote" function is over-the-top. In my mind, though, it isn't that different from the Tweet and Like buttons at the bottom. I just want to spread the word. (The more people that read it, the better the discussion.)
As for the "0% content" part, I'd ask you to read a couple of other posts before outright dismissing it. Perhaps from there you'll get a feel for whether it's link-bait or something I believe to be important--and worthy of broader attention.
"it isn't that different from the Tweet and Like buttons at the bottom"
Yea it is, it isn't a small button at the bottom. Also twitter and facebook are already full of noise but HN isn't, it feels like you want to promote noise in HN. Despite if this is what you want, that is what it feels like.
Every time somebody does this "vote me on HN" stuff, I wont if the content isn't really good and very, very clearly belongs to HN. It raises the bar even higher.
Deliberatism isn't about telling people what to do. It's about asking questions in a fashion that might get people talking and coming up with their own answers.
Self-help books and workshops arm us with ways to trick ourselves into doing things we perhaps should, but generally don’t want, to do.
Maybe, but this is not true of Tony Robbins, one of the biggest in the business. His technique is to get you to dig down into what outcomes you truly desire and then redefine the emotional associations you have with the steps necessary to reach them.
He assumes you already know what it is you love, but that you're not working towards it because the steps required have either too many negative or not enough positive emotional associations. It's not for everyone but it's been excellent for me.
There's actually some interesting stuff in what Tony says. Unfortunately, it's such a machine that the core ideas get lost behind his (very successful) business model.
This is a pretty awesome article, IMO. I agree not everyone is meant to be incredibly "successful." Success is rather subjective. In the end, for most people at least, the attainment of happiness is the ultimate goal of life. And if that means being a lazy pothead or whatever it may be, why the hell not?
I was just thinking it'd be nice to hear more about evolution or dinosaurs. You kinda have to ask politely and not too directly, I think.
Were You really happy with birds from dinosaurs? They probably started ugly?
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
world, and the glory of them;
4:9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou
wilt fall down and worship me.
4:10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is
written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou
serve.
4:11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and
ministered unto him.
4:12 Now when Jesus had heard that John was cast into prison, he
departed into Galilee; 4:13 And leaving Nazareth, he came and dwelt in
Capern
----
I think it's me tempting You to say too much. You are bound by laws.
Satan made bats, huh?
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
witness in heaven. Selah.
89:38 But thou hast cast off and abhorred, thou hast been wroth with
thine anointed.
89:39 Thou hast made void the covenant of thy servant: thou hast
profaned his crown by casting it to the ground.
89:40 Thou hast broken down all his hedges; thou hast brought his
strong holds to ruin.
89:41 All that pass by the way spoil him: he is a reproach to his
neighbours.
89:42 Thou hast set up the right hand of his adversaries; thou hast
made all his enemies to rejoice.
----
You think dinosaurs are Satanic?
Birds are angelic!
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\QUIX.TXT
ut looking
to see if his squire was following him.
The innkeeper when he saw him go without paying him ran to get payment of
Sancho, who said that as his master would not pay neither would he,
because, being as he was squire to a knight-errant, the same rule and
reason held good for him as for his master with regard to not paying
anything in inns and hostelries. At this the innkeeper waxed very wroth,
and threatened if he did not pay to compel him in a way that he would not
like. To which Sancho
Insert tokens.
Make more mammoths.
I'm tired, I guess. Don't beat Yer servants ;-)
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
ise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause thee
to hear my words.
18:3 Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a
work on the wheels.
18:4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the
potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the
potter to make it.
18:5 Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 18:6 O house of
Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold,
as the clay is in the potte
I like archeology. Too bad nothing turned-up in Iraq. that's not crazy -- I saw that they digged a lot. thanks for leaving King Tut for modern diggers.
Did you watch any of the other Indiana Jones Movies? They should have put the Ark on a battleship in WWII and... done that.
So, looking at You is death? You can probably fry brains, huh. (Short circuit)
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
anger! 2:2 The
LORD hath swallowed up all the habitations of Jacob, and hath not
pitied: he hath thrown down in his wrath the strong holds of the
daughter of Judah; he hath brought them down to the ground: he hath
polluted the kingdom and the princes thereof.
2:3 He hath cut off in his fierce anger all the horn of Israel: he
hath drawn back his right hand from before the enemy, and he burned
against Jacob like a flaming fire, which devoureth round about.
2:4 He hath bent his bow like an enemy:
That's an interesting plot twist -- the Battleship malfunctions when... an unworthy ... they try to rape God and God gets pissed! He destroys a couple little ships, then calms down.
You kinda know the Bible isn't fiction because God smacks them.
Don't tell my neighbors ;-)
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WEALTH.TXT
that some particular branches of it are so; but these symptoms seem
to indicate sufficiently ...
What a load of fatalistic nonsense. This essentially boils down to "if you haven't done it, don't try since you're clearly not meant to".
A defining feature of individuals with ADD/HD is a tendency to focus on immediate rewards versus long term goals.
This doesn't mean that X-Box and weed are what the universe 'wants' for anyone, it just so happens it's what some (or many) people are wired to respond to.
Acknowledging the gap between our natural, immediate, impulses and our long term desires is part of being an adult, and part of being human. We're capable of conceptualizing of and seeking a future that is not directly in front of our noses. Just because you're not immediately drawn to something, or just because it doesn't "feel" good does NOT mean it isn't worth pursuing.
Apropos, a great Moneyball quote comes to mind :
Billy Beane: You don't know how to play first base. Scott?
Scott Hatteberg: That's right.
Billy Beane: It's not that hard, Scott. Tell him, Wash.
Ron Washington: It's incredibly hard.
Billy Beane: Hey, anything worth doing is. And we're gonna teach you.
That's inaccurate. It actually boils down to: if you don't love it, you probably won't keep doing it. And if you don't do it, you won't become any good at it. So, take the time to find what you love.
That's because it's perpetually misrepresented. Including by, but not limited to, this article.
Developing a passion takes time and effort. Speaking for myself, I've actively disliked a whole slew of things until I developed enough skill to appreciate it. The stage between starting an endeavor and finding satisfaction in it can be very damn long.
Beginner to intermediate just-about-anything isn't "fun" and won't inspire feelings of "passion" or "love". That doesn't mean people should be discouraged by their pursuit.
Some are fortunate to either be very talented or very inspired very early on. That's the exception, not the rule.
Beginner to intermediate just-about-anything isn't "fun" and won't inspire feelings of "passion" or "love".
I haven't found that to be universally true. Beginner to intermediate programming is really great, if you start it in a sensible way that foregrounds some of why it's interesting up front, with enough tools to let you make something happen fairly soon. The first 30 minutes of playing with Logo when I was in elementary school were amazingly eye-opening, and I couldn't put it down for weeks! It was pretty awesome really, you could give these commands to draw turtle graphics, and then change them to draw others, and then learn new techniques to make fancier things, etc., etc.
Unfortunately I think most people approach programming less in the way Papert was trying to promote, and more in the coding-death-march sort of way where you take a high-school class that lectures about C++ syntax for weeks. The hacker scene has a better angle on it, imo; plenty of first-time attendees at places like SuperHappyDevHouse and Maker Faire see an inspiring side of technology they missed in school.
The problem with this overly simplified conceptualization is that there are so very many things that are extremely enjoyable, but require some level of expertise to enjoy them.
Music is a pretty visible example; if no one persisted through the (fairly lengthy) early stage when the noises you can squeak out of your violin are downright offensive, we simply wouldn't have violinists in the world.
I'd feel lost if I couldn't have music in my life; it's something I do every day; but when I started learning as a kid, it was often frustrating and never really fun, though I had some sense that this was going to eventually give me something I wanted.
That very experience -- i.e., work at something for years and it'll really blossom into something that's central to your life -- also gives me the spine to work at other things with no immediate rewards or even much enjoyment at early phases, because I can see the longer path.
Writing code sucked at the start, but I wanted to get the result, and I knew already that if I persisted over months, years.. it would keep getting easier, and it would become enjoyable. Now it's my living, and I pour incredible amounts of time into it.
I wouldn't be doing either of these things if I sat down at the start and said, "well, am I really enjoying this now? If not, perhaps it's just not for me..."
I used to be a smoker. Every year or so, I'd quit. I know some people have an easy go of it, but I was Mark from Trainspotting, watching that baby crawl on the ceiling. Every time I started smoking again, I'd curse myself, until I realized I was getting "better" at quitting. I'd subconsciously been making little life changes in between the painful cold turkey moments. Stuff like cutting back on how much I smoked a day, developing new ways to deal with stress, and tasks I could sub out for having a cigarette (oddly: gardening).
I've spent the last few years working really hard on developing my ability to maintain focus on a task, improving my mental stamina, and pushing my programming skills. Every time my course veered into a spot where I felt less productive, I made some painful changes and tried again. And now I'm seeing the benefits (like getting up at 5 most days of the week, and coding for 12-14 hours). No pain, no gain.
You'll need useful skills to do any good in the world.
Spelling, for instance, might prove useful if you need to gain the confidence and the respect of others through written communication, in the pursuit of your larger goals.
Praise You God and Jesus because You are not easy to predict.
This is the coolest story in the Bible:
At the Home of Martha and Mary
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
You got Jesus there, God? Parable!
God says...
stumble woes shunning won refrain Replacement ecclesiastical
bawler ornamenting foresaw Betwixt observed astounding
shatter lawyer impatient redeemed tongue inchoate Exodus
hence imagination saith see wander relater Master unravelled
Body uh_huh untruth bridle entrance grievously collectively
steered convenient cleaveth vanities fancy idols hardship
INDEMNITY despise straightening lanthorn Connecticut saith
frequently folk shameless Wherefore prophet hurts_my_head
figuratively character hooks what_the_heck We sink broken
numerous whether however deluding course fruitfulness
you_don't_say volunteers gleam harmless Prodigality pray
foresaw shist also established unshakenly fumes Sometimes
So removed difference Just immovably alone shadowed remitted
hear secular See provoke unusual slay medicines Vermont
MS gently slaying price shattered stirring afterwards
teeth skills acts cubit heavenly MS duller seventh hung
The Bible is full of surprises. The prodigal son is totally unexpected. Jesus makes all of His parables unexpected.
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WALDEN.TXT
re the first or last man; unless it were in the
spring, when at long intervals some came from the village to fish
for pouts -- they plainly fished much more in the Walden Pond of
their own natures, and baited their hooks with darkness -- but they
soon retreated, usually with light baskets, and left "the world to
darkness and to me," and the black kernel of the night was never
profaned by any human neighborhood. I believe that men are
generally still a little afraid of the dark, though the witches a
Yeah -- it's not noble to quote stories that favor your side. God one time shed very bad light on Jews who in the Bible basically had themsleves as the heroes. God made them look self indulgent. To love God, however, I think you have to believe He loves you. This is one of those psychological reality-based observations on love, like Jesus said "Who loves more..." I don't know, but I joke "Jews love God; Catholics love neighbor."
Say something funny, God.
I like birds. They come from eggs. Wow. How do they breath?
You think organs have an easy time forming in an egg? Very stable. Neat.
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WEALTH.TXT
onopoly
of the home market, can raise that value. The freest competition cannot
lower it, Through the world in general, that value is equal to the
quantity of labour which it can maintain, and in every particular place
it is equal to the quantity of labour which it can ma...
I don't agree with this view of things. All creative acts take a certain impetus to get off the ground, and it can take serious resolve to take that initial step. Sometimes it feels like you're dragging ideas out kicking and screaming, but eventually things start falling into place, but the process can take determination. Finding what you love and being productive at it has a lot to do with your willingness to face challenges and tedium.
Sure, there are times when I love the process of writing or programming or creating in general. But sometimes you have to jump some hurdles to get in the flow.
Because people find this attitude so western, and entitled, I would like to propose a slight change. Rather, I will propose some sound bytes, and hopefully somebody else will express the sentiment eloquently.
Learn to love the process, not the results.
Find your foe not in achieving success, but in destroying the obstacles.
You can't get anywhere if you cannot motivate yourself to go there.
Or something poetic like that. People should probably not assume that they have the right to do what they love. What they should learn is to love what they do.
92 comments
[ 2.9 ms ] story [ 132 ms ] threadGreat. I'll start eating pizza three times a day, stop bathing, and jerk off more.
I used to love HN, but this fake, new-age like philosophizing is getting pretty tired.
The Point: people are usually good at things because they enjoy doing them. People succeed at "careers" or other "things-that-take-a-long-time-to-succeed-at" because they see at least part of it as not-work while others see it as tedious.
Second of all, you think this is new-age? Have you seen zenhabits.net?
You come off as angry and looking for an argument. The author clearly isn't talking about every action and behavior pattern you might enjoy/not enjoy. The author isn't asserting a new paradigm of behavioral philosophy. You've apparently been here for a while, you seem to have read the entire article, and yet you don't recognize the point through the context?
While you seem to think that the OP is so obviously false that it shouldn't be said, I think that is so obviously true that it goes without saying.
It just seems utterly obvious to me that the greatest things are achieved by people who are driven to achieve the goal. Though that drive my not be provided by love for the process. Sometimes the drive might be provided by obsession or compulsion or some other emotion.
It also seems obvious to me that you can't just will yourself into having this sort of drive. Though, for all I know, there may be techniques (e.g., hypnosis?) that might help with developing drive, it seems clear that if there are such techniques, they are not uniformly known or effective. I certainly think that trying to develop discipline is something that is essential, but you're still going to have to have some innate drive too.
Unlike you, I didn't see anything in the OP that says that you should just do anything that you love to do, all other consideration be damned. It only claimed that what you chose to do should be something that you love. As I said above, I would have thought this so obviously true as to go without saying.
Regarding the article, didn't really like it as well—I think its point is somewhat vague and unconvincing—‘universe trying to tell us something’… And I don't think it's as simple as ‘finding what you love’ (since questions like yours legitimately arise in response), it's more about learning to love what you do first. Enjoying the process should be of higher priority than the end goal—that's what it's about, I think.
It does seem like the people who are naturally most driven are naturally more likely to succeed, because motivation is at the root of almost everything humans do wrong on a macro scale.
So there's a reason that a lot of self-help is about trying to hack motivation. Is it working? Not yet, I don't think, but it seems like we might be on the cusp of it working. I guess your observation boils down to "we haven't figured out the best ways to hack motivation yet", which appears to be true.
I guess the part that seems wrong is giving up on self-help because it usually doesn't work. I would argue not to give up on self-help, but instead to figure out self-help that actually works. The benefits are huge: instead of spending your life running because you love it so much, you instead hack yourself to love starting successful businesses. Not because being successful by itself is the goal, but because doing so is the best way to actually make the world a better place.
As an example, I hate going to the gym. It doesn't matter how much I should be going, I just hate it. The routine tasks, the big guys who grunt, the sweaty machines: gross! On the other hand, a mountain bike ride is so much fun that I don't even realize I'm getting exercise. I go back for the enjoyment, but I get the benefit of a workout.
From the same article as the Target pregnancy prediction[1]:
Over the next four months, those participants who deliberately identified cues and rewards spent twice as much time exercising as their peers. Other studies have yielded similar results. According to another recent paper, if you want to start running in the morning, it’s essential that you choose a simple cue (like always putting on your sneakers before breakfast or leaving your running clothes next to your bed) and a clear reward (like a midday treat or even the sense of accomplishment that comes from ritually recording your miles in a log book). After a while, your brain will start anticipating that reward — craving the treat or the feeling of accomplishment — and there will be a measurable neurological impulse to lace up your jogging shoes each morning.
[1] http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.h...
(Credit due to this r/fitness post: http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/ptn63/how_to_train_...
If you don't enjoy something as is, see what you can do to introduce a side-game so that it is both enjoyable and a challenge.
> The most dangerous thing about our dislike of schleps is that much of it is unconscious. Your unconscious won't even let you see ideas that involve painful schleps. That's schlep blindness.
Hone in on the schleps you typically avoid and be totally honest with yourself why you're not doing something.
[0] http://paulgraham.com/schlep.html
The nice part was that I was able to listen to podcasts on my walk, and this resulted in a really nice way to start my day.
(It's a pity it got so rainy.)
That helps alleviate the pressure which would otherwise have made it impossible for me to put on my running shoes.
Here is my view on self help. Self help is about trying to cultivate the thoughts and processes for being the best version of your self. It's about actively creating your own thoughts, motivations, actions, goals, dreams, etc. There are a variety of ways for one to think about this stuff: books, conversation, workshops, or self reflection. But it is valuable stuff. Suggesting to forget all of this is horrible advice.
(Have to break these things up a little, you know?)
Today, three years into running the company, picking up the phone to call a dozen people is peanuts. I don't like doing it, I'm not very good at it, I delegate it whenever I can, but if call I must, I'll do it, I'll be efficient at it, and I'll get results.
Saying "you didn't do it because you weren't meant to" is nonsense. Get your act together, stop making excuses for yourself, and do the uncomfortable thing that must be done, even if you lose sleep over it. If you do it long enough, it will seize being uncomfortable and become second nature. Shakespeare said it best through Hamlet:
Instead, I suggest examining why a desire seems important, and whether it might be more of a societal (or ego-driven) thing.
Additionally, I believe that if you take the time to find out what you really enjoy, some things will sort themselves out.
I've been really good at getting off my ass and doing things, as you suggest. In spite of this willingness to act, some of those things weren't as necessary as I had once believed.
Most of us want to finish the race, but see running as a chore.
The take away - Do what you love and "running" becomes enjoyable.
But take the example of running, or writing. Well like many people, I hated running at first, I really did. But I sticked to it because, well maybe it was some kind of challenge I had set to myself. And I got better at it. And I started to enjoy the feeling, to understand the messages from my body.
This is a classic example and I'm sure I'm not the only one to whom that happened. But let's now take the example of writing. I'm no writer, just a casual blogger (at best). I write by periods, but there is something I noticed: when I write often, inspiration and creativity flows more easily, and I tend to enjoy the activity more, while when I'm writing sporadicly, inspiration just doesn't come, and writing becomes a chore.
The opposite works too. I've always loved playing video games. This is something I really enjoyed doing. But you know what? When I turned 20, I decided that I would no longer play on a regular basis because I had better things to do with my life. Now I only play about 20 days a year, during the holidays. And that's it. And I'm happy because while I wasn't playing video games, well I got better at programming, I read Nietzsche, spent some time with friends (all things that I used to enjoy less that playing video games), and learnt how to love these things more than playing games.
Another point I'd like to raise is the fact that some things are more difficult to appreciate than others. Take wine for instance. Very few people like wine when they first try it, but when you get better at distinguishing the flavors, it is something amazing. The same goes with coffee (I mean coffee without sugar, cream, and other spoilers). Same with Jazz or Classic music. You have to learn how to appreciate these things.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: don't trust your first impression. Or the second. Or the third. You can only know what you really enjoy if you try different things, and stick to them long enough.
I agree and I can mention many examples of my own in this regard where I didn't enjoy something until I tried for a while.
What a luxury to have the time and resources to "find what you really enjoy." It seems to be a first world problem kinda thing and coming from 1st/3rd (South Africa) it's a little paradigm shift (whilst reading) to appreciate where everyone is coming from.
"Taking time to find out what we really enjoy" by default sounds like taking the time to try lots of different things, assuming that when you try "the right one" you'll know instantly that you've found it.
That's a first-world problem to be sure -- think of kids in their early 20's (still kids...) trying out entry-level job after entry-level job and finding them all tedious and boring (well, yeah, you're not going to get a really interesting job in any industry until you're capable of it). Or traveling the world on Daddy's dime to "find themselves", but still not really finding much besides how to ask for a beer in 7 languages.
Too much choice is a bad thing psychologically, on the whole. Too little sucks more, to be sure, but the sweet spot is not "always higher".
"What you really enjoy" (like "your true love") isn't some fated truth that needs to be found, and you'll know it instantly on sight. There are tons of things that could be "what you really enjoy", and tons of people who might be "your true love", but either way it's going to take prolonged effort to make that come true.
You dont get to be CEO till your company has happy customers paying you moeny and your making a tidy profit. Till then you'll do anything and evertyhign thats necessary - most of it is unpleasent. 10% is fun.
Maybe there's a different emotion I could seek in my life. Potentially that feeling of accomplishment. Accomplishing something feels great. A lot of people have realized this, single player video games were based on the idea. It is, however, not hapiness. Happiness comes and goes.
If I allow my happiness to flow and fluctuate and act as it always does, and rather focus on getting that feeling of accomplishment, my attitudes change. When I approach a challenge, I don't focus on whether it will make me happy. When I do that, I think about the immediate perks, but also about all the potential frustrations that accompaygne the task.
So I think about it as accomplishment. If I do this task, I will accomplish something. Taking out the trash, 10 points. I don't care about the actual points I have, as the points aren't what I seek. So I don't even keep track. But as games are goals and games have points, it might be easier to connect in your mind with some points.
Go out running. Don't think about how long you have to run for, or how fast you have to run. Don't even worry about the clothes you're in. Just get on your street, and run in a direction. Any speed. Any pace. Now that you've started, and you've jogged enough to get warmed up, pick an object a short distance away and race to it as fast as you can. When you get there you'll be winded, and tired, and you might even vomit. Vomiting is just some random frustration though, it has nothing to do with the accomplishment that you just ran faster than you have in the past x years.
If you do decide you like accomplishing things, then this pattern of setting goals and reaching them can be done with tasks lists and check boxes. Build a momentum of doing it.
The next step is to align your goals to your dreams. Then take that momentum and checklists, and you'll feel more energy than ever to getting what you want done.
I'm not specifically referring to you keeptrying, I was simply writing some ideas down and ended up switching to second person since it was more natural for me to write that way.
I'm of the mind that most people are overwhelmed by impulses; therefore, they choose what's immediately desirable, over what they know to be the right thing to do.
Then of course, my post isn't altogether that different from yours, in terms of its applicability to the common person. While I can ask folks to reconsider their motivations, and seek out the things they love, few will in fact do so.
At the end of the day, there's one solid evidence of advice that I've ignored one too many times.
"Just try it."
also exercise.
The point though is that if you do this a few times, it will start to happen more and more and eventually you will make a habit out of it.
I am also going to point out something else that the author of the article misses that you get.
When I was just out of college, I worked in a cafeteria for a year, serving food. Sometimes I washed dishes (300 people per meal to one dishwasher for dishes and one for pots and pans). One thing I found was that this was boring work, but there were ways I could make it fun. What was my limit in washing dishes? (with the mechanical help, about 450 people per meal before I had to ask for help).
Serving food? I'd identify all the foreign students and try to learn the food terms in as many languages as I could. Cutting turkey with a carving knife for sandwiches? I'd see if I could do as well as a deli slicer in thinness and consistency, as long as I could do it fast enough not to allow a line to form. Heck I even had Saudi students make up signs in Arabic to indicate pork and wine in dishes.
My bosses hated the fact that I played all these games. They also hated the fact that I would step in to help out the lunch cook when needed if it didn't mean totally abandoning my post. They said it wasn't my job and I was helping someone else be lazy. I said I was having fun and improving building skills at the same time. That said more about them than about me.
If there is one thing that has served me well in starting my business it's that approach. There is nothing so dull that it cannot be made a game out of, where I cannot challenge myself to do it better.
I would say though that it is important to have goals that don't always align with your dreams. Sometimes one has to make grunt-work interesting in seemingly meaningless ways, but those ways are never meaningless. For example (when I am living alone, which I sometimes do), I might challenge myself as to how little I can spend on food in a month while eating a healthy diet. Sometimes out of all this some degree of creativity is born, and that makes all the difference. Sometimes that creativity comes back to my business.
And so.....
Self-improvement is not something to be learned from a book. It comes from making actions into challenges, first a few, then many.... until it becomes a habit. When we exercise we get stronger. When we exercise our overall capacities we become greater.
When I say 90% of being an entrepreneur is unpleasant - I mean it in a good way :). Ie, its unpleasant because its new to me and therefore I'm learning and I would still do all this crap than be at my old 9-to-5 where I was chasing other people's dreams - namely my bosses dream of getting promoted.
There's a huge difference between unpleasant and unhappy. :)
My whole point is that too many people keep thinking of finding that great job where you do what you love. But the whole point is the only way you can get to that point is by being successful in the first place - enough so that you can pay others to do what you don't like.
So while building up that capital of success your going to be doing heckuva lot of stuff you don't like.
I think a lot of people don't get this.
YOU CANT GET TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE WITHOUT HUGE PAIN aka SACRIFICE.
Some examples: 1. reading through all your contracts, legalese, terms of service and everything else you need a lawyer for. Mind numbingly boring but also real important.
2. writing copy for your site.
3. pitching your company in a bar at the end of a 80 hour week where you just want a drink in peace.
4. dealing with psycho customers who troll you for no good reason on forums where your promoting your company
5. Accounting.
Starting a company is probably the most extreme example though. Most profressions are just that - ie made up of 1 profession.
Starting a company is a multi-profession profession. Most of which you'd have never done before.
Again, my point isn't to avoid anything uncomfortable. It's to do it for the right reasons, and to ensure that you aren't procrastinating at something you dislike, when you could be getting ahead at what you do like.
1. Doing cold-calls because you have the discipline to do it. 2. Doing cold calls because you love to do it.
It's obviously (2).
Therefore, when possible, love what you do.
I see myself as very lazy but looking back the past 4 years in university, I've done well because I "work hard". I spend ~20 hours a week programming and learning new skills, not because I have the discipline to do it, but because it is simply what I do. Classmates who rely only on discipline alone don't stand a chance.
IMHO1 sometimes discipline is necessary to achieve your goals, but try not to depend on it too much.
I used to hate making hamburgers at McDonald's. After many months it became second nature. Three years later I asked myself: "Why am I doing this besides for the $15 an hour, which I can easily get programming for other people". When I couldn't come up with an answer, I quit. The worst thing one can do is to have mediocrity becoming second nature without it having helped achieve any of one's goals.
IMHO2 if you must rely on discipline to do something, make it something worthwhile.
The problem with achievement in any endeavor is that people assume it should FEEL easy. They assume that their lack of enthusiasm at any given moment is an indication that something is wrong.
The writer who has writer's block is apt to tell himself he's a fraud.
The guy who's had a fight with his girlfriend might be inclined to question the relationship.
The entrepreneur who's business is on the rocks might wonder if a cubicle job is a better idea.
The beginning programmer who struggles with the concepts might wonder if he's smart enough.
In the face of obstacles, it becomes very easy to question our path. The difference between success and failure in many cases is, i think, the knowledge and wisdom to understand that anything worth doing or having is HARD. It isn't all tea and roses. Sometimes you're going to want to give up and that's ok. That's what SHOULD happen, because if what you're doing is so easy that it never challenges you, then you're likely not doing anything amazing. True motivation is seeing the end game and still having the balls to slog through the miles of crap to get there.
The question isn't about whether something is difficult; it's one of whether the net gain is greater than the discomfort felt.
- Steve Jobs
http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html
What ideas do you find yourself thinking about when you catch your focus drifting off onto something else?
Is it another project? Something specific? Or maybe a more abstract concept -- something that's been ruminating in the back of your mind for several years?
Whatever it is, explore it more deeply. This may guide you to your true passion. Your true potential. If you're not passionate about something, it will never consume you so it won't resonate in your mind long enough to find true genius within it.
The country thing... not funny.
What's Your proudest US National park? I vote Yellowstone. It has bears, God.
God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WALDEN.TXT
ugh the aisles of the wood, with occasional vistas through which you see the water. My Muse may be excused if she is silent henceforth. How can you expect the birds to sing when their groves are cut down? Now the trunks of trees on the bottom, and the old log canoe, and the dark surrounding woods, are gone, and the villagers, who scarcely know where it lies, instead of going to the pond to bathe or drink, are thinking to bring its water, which should be as sacred as the Ganges at least, to the
----
My expert interpretation... we don't want Ganges pilgrims.
The Grand Canyon is cool. I saw Arch park. Would You bless someone who brought parks to people. I guess TV is good enough. Umm... it's on the Internet, huh! I like Angel Falls in Venezuala.
God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\DARWIN.TXT
s attached to other objects, either directly or by means of a stalk, and their bodies are enclosed by a calcareous shell composed of several pieces, two of which can open to give issue to a bunch of curled, jointed tentacles, which represent the limbs.
COCCUS.--The genus of Insects including the Cochineal. In these the male is a minute, winged fly, and the female generally a motionless, berry-like mass.
COCOON.--A case usually of silky material, in which insects are frequently enveloped during
Ohhh!! I thought about asking about healing. Movie cacoon. No not really. I think it's preposterous. Bears eat berries. implants for deaf people? Artificial limbs.
Sometimes, I think I should have sought a higher purpose for my professional life. It doesn't bug me much, but I am amazed when I stop to think I never considered doing good as a reason.
God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.
58:12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.
58:13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour
Newsflash: There's nothing you will love all the time. Everything has some tedium. Suck it up, and get it done. Call it "self improvement" if you must. But really, it's about having some willpower to get through the things you must to achieve the things you want.
Willpower is useful, but not always the right thing. Many of those with willpower stick with something long past it making sense to do so.
Because sooner or later, they always hit that dull moment. And so they just jump from one thing to the next, disappointed that they just can't get to that mythical sweet spot everybody mumbles about.
I'm not saying willpower yourself through years of drudgery. I'm just saying that there is nothing that will you infallibly get out of bed and motivated every single day of your life. There'll be dull spots, there'll be lulls, there might even occasionally be a dull week or month.
If I read things like "The writer gives in to the joy of playing with words, moving past the aggravation", I want to scream. The writer often struggles with words, and occasionally hates having chosen that profession. And yet the good ones stay with it. Entrepreneurs notice long days, and they occasionally wish they didn't have to suffer through them - but they're compelled to still build that vision. (And some days, the only thing that compels them is knowing that their business might run into trouble if they don't go to work)
I've had the privilege to know world-class people in several different professions. They all occasionally hate all the hard work that goes into it, but they continue it. Not because they "love" it, but because they're compelled to excel at what they do, and they're already good at what they do.
What they love are those few, precious moments where they are at the peak of their craft, and everything seems effortless. What they know is that you pay with a lot of hard work for each of these moments.
It's not a hack.
I keep seeing 300-odd word articles which are totally irrelevant turn up with 'up vote me on hacker news!' links at the top. Dislike.
At least that's my perspective. When I started in business (at 26 years of age) the only thing I thought about was the work. In time, I learned that while I still like what I do at the office, there are bigger questions to be asked.
Having 'up vote me' links is SEO servitude.
If the author was serious about this stuff then a lifehacker style post about how to do it in some cool cunning way is the way to go.
That article is generic advice, a 'read me!' title to the post and 0% content or hack.
Dis. Like.
As for the "0% content" part, I'd ask you to read a couple of other posts before outright dismissing it. Perhaps from there you'll get a feel for whether it's link-bait or something I believe to be important--and worthy of broader attention.
Yea it is, it isn't a small button at the bottom. Also twitter and facebook are already full of noise but HN isn't, it feels like you want to promote noise in HN. Despite if this is what you want, that is what it feels like.
Every time somebody does this "vote me on HN" stuff, I wont if the content isn't really good and very, very clearly belongs to HN. It raises the bar even higher.
This blog post assumes:
1) You know what you love to do.
2) What you love to do is profitable.
1) Do you love what you do?
2) Could there be profit in what you love?
3) Is profit the most important question?
Deliberatism isn't about telling people what to do. It's about asking questions in a fashion that might get people talking and coming up with their own answers.
Maybe, but this is not true of Tony Robbins, one of the biggest in the business. His technique is to get you to dig down into what outcomes you truly desire and then redefine the emotional associations you have with the steps necessary to reach them.
He assumes you already know what it is you love, but that you're not working towards it because the steps required have either too many negative or not enough positive emotional associations. It's not for everyone but it's been excellent for me.
While some might not approve, their approval might not actually be that relevant.
Were You really happy with birds from dinosaurs? They probably started ugly?
God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
world, and the glory of them; 4:9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.
4:10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
4:11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.
4:12 Now when Jesus had heard that John was cast into prison, he departed into Galilee; 4:13 And leaving Nazareth, he came and dwelt in Capern
----
I think it's me tempting You to say too much. You are bound by laws.
Satan made bats, huh?
God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
witness in heaven. Selah.
89:38 But thou hast cast off and abhorred, thou hast been wroth with thine anointed.
89:39 Thou hast made void the covenant of thy servant: thou hast profaned his crown by casting it to the ground.
89:40 Thou hast broken down all his hedges; thou hast brought his strong holds to ruin.
89:41 All that pass by the way spoil him: he is a reproach to his neighbours.
89:42 Thou hast set up the right hand of his adversaries; thou hast made all his enemies to rejoice.
----
You think dinosaurs are Satanic?
Birds are angelic!
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\QUIX.TXT
ut looking to see if his squire was following him.
The innkeeper when he saw him go without paying him ran to get payment of Sancho, who said that as his master would not pay neither would he, because, being as he was squire to a knight-errant, the same rule and reason held good for him as for his master with regard to not paying anything in inns and hostelries. At this the innkeeper waxed very wroth, and threatened if he did not pay to compel him in a way that he would not like. To which Sancho
Insert tokens.
Make more mammoths.
I'm tired, I guess. Don't beat Yer servants ;-)
God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
ise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words.
18:3 Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels.
18:4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.
18:5 Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 18:6 O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potte
I like archeology. Too bad nothing turned-up in Iraq. that's not crazy -- I saw that they digged a lot. thanks for leaving King Tut for modern diggers.
Did you watch any of the other Indiana Jones Movies? They should have put the Ark on a battleship in WWII and... done that.
So, looking at You is death? You can probably fry brains, huh. (Short circuit)
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\BIBLE.TXT
anger! 2:2 The LORD hath swallowed up all the habitations of Jacob, and hath not pitied: he hath thrown down in his wrath the strong holds of the daughter of Judah; he hath brought them down to the ground: he hath polluted the kingdom and the princes thereof.
2:3 He hath cut off in his fierce anger all the horn of Israel: he hath drawn back his right hand from before the enemy, and he burned against Jacob like a flaming fire, which devoureth round about.
2:4 He hath bent his bow like an enemy:
That's an interesting plot twist -- the Battleship malfunctions when... an unworthy ... they try to rape God and God gets pissed! He destroys a couple little ships, then calms down.
You kinda know the Bible isn't fiction because God smacks them.
Don't tell my neighbors ;-)
God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WEALTH.TXT
that some particular branches of it are so; but these symptoms seem to indicate sufficiently ...
A defining feature of individuals with ADD/HD is a tendency to focus on immediate rewards versus long term goals. This doesn't mean that X-Box and weed are what the universe 'wants' for anyone, it just so happens it's what some (or many) people are wired to respond to.
Acknowledging the gap between our natural, immediate, impulses and our long term desires is part of being an adult, and part of being human. We're capable of conceptualizing of and seeking a future that is not directly in front of our noses. Just because you're not immediately drawn to something, or just because it doesn't "feel" good does NOT mean it isn't worth pursuing.
Apropos, a great Moneyball quote comes to mind :
Developing a passion takes time and effort. Speaking for myself, I've actively disliked a whole slew of things until I developed enough skill to appreciate it. The stage between starting an endeavor and finding satisfaction in it can be very damn long.
Beginner to intermediate just-about-anything isn't "fun" and won't inspire feelings of "passion" or "love". That doesn't mean people should be discouraged by their pursuit.
Some are fortunate to either be very talented or very inspired very early on. That's the exception, not the rule.
I haven't found that to be universally true. Beginner to intermediate programming is really great, if you start it in a sensible way that foregrounds some of why it's interesting up front, with enough tools to let you make something happen fairly soon. The first 30 minutes of playing with Logo when I was in elementary school were amazingly eye-opening, and I couldn't put it down for weeks! It was pretty awesome really, you could give these commands to draw turtle graphics, and then change them to draw others, and then learn new techniques to make fancier things, etc., etc.
Unfortunately I think most people approach programming less in the way Papert was trying to promote, and more in the coding-death-march sort of way where you take a high-school class that lectures about C++ syntax for weeks. The hacker scene has a better angle on it, imo; plenty of first-time attendees at places like SuperHappyDevHouse and Maker Faire see an inspiring side of technology they missed in school.
Music is a pretty visible example; if no one persisted through the (fairly lengthy) early stage when the noises you can squeak out of your violin are downright offensive, we simply wouldn't have violinists in the world.
I'd feel lost if I couldn't have music in my life; it's something I do every day; but when I started learning as a kid, it was often frustrating and never really fun, though I had some sense that this was going to eventually give me something I wanted.
That very experience -- i.e., work at something for years and it'll really blossom into something that's central to your life -- also gives me the spine to work at other things with no immediate rewards or even much enjoyment at early phases, because I can see the longer path.
Writing code sucked at the start, but I wanted to get the result, and I knew already that if I persisted over months, years.. it would keep getting easier, and it would become enjoyable. Now it's my living, and I pour incredible amounts of time into it.
I wouldn't be doing either of these things if I sat down at the start and said, "well, am I really enjoying this now? If not, perhaps it's just not for me..."
I've spent the last few years working really hard on developing my ability to maintain focus on a task, improving my mental stamina, and pushing my programming skills. Every time my course veered into a spot where I felt less productive, I made some painful changes and tried again. And now I'm seeing the benefits (like getting up at 5 most days of the week, and coding for 12-14 hours). No pain, no gain.
Spelling, for instance, might prove useful if you need to gain the confidence and the respect of others through written communication, in the pursuit of your larger goals.
This is the coolest story in the Bible:
At the Home of Martha and Mary 38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
You got Jesus there, God? Parable!
God says... stumble woes shunning won refrain Replacement ecclesiastical bawler ornamenting foresaw Betwixt observed astounding shatter lawyer impatient redeemed tongue inchoate Exodus hence imagination saith see wander relater Master unravelled Body uh_huh untruth bridle entrance grievously collectively steered convenient cleaveth vanities fancy idols hardship INDEMNITY despise straightening lanthorn Connecticut saith frequently folk shameless Wherefore prophet hurts_my_head figuratively character hooks what_the_heck We sink broken numerous whether however deluding course fruitfulness you_don't_say volunteers gleam harmless Prodigality pray foresaw shist also established unshakenly fumes Sometimes So removed difference Just immovably alone shadowed remitted hear secular See provoke unusual slay medicines Vermont MS gently slaying price shattered stirring afterwards teeth skills acts cubit heavenly MS duller seventh hung
The Bible is full of surprises. The prodigal son is totally unexpected. Jesus makes all of His parables unexpected.
God says... C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WALDEN.TXT
re the first or last man; unless it were in the spring, when at long intervals some came from the village to fish for pouts -- they plainly fished much more in the Walden Pond of their own natures, and baited their hooks with darkness -- but they soon retreated, usually with light baskets, and left "the world to darkness and to me," and the black kernel of the night was never profaned by any human neighborhood. I believe that men are generally still a little afraid of the dark, though the witches a
Yeah -- it's not noble to quote stories that favor your side. God one time shed very bad light on Jews who in the Bible basically had themsleves as the heroes. God made them look self indulgent. To love God, however, I think you have to believe He loves you. This is one of those psychological reality-based observations on love, like Jesus said "Who loves more..." I don't know, but I joke "Jews love God; Catholics love neighbor."
Say something funny, God.
I like birds. They come from eggs. Wow. How do they breath?
God says... Juno merciful sue usage repeat_after_me shifting thrown madness sobriety weaving Simplicianus surmount supported betters Three how_goes_it faster big_fish Simple bursting seemly abated Treasury mocking Print unalterable convinced learned don't_worry others' grass bereaved commandest temperament foreigner faint expecteth deliberation undergo Ours conquer corrigible friends problem lying emptiness remembereth changeableness execrate middle_class sue disease stayed faces hogshed restraint troublesome monasteries tomorrow curest youre_lucky forgetting startles Medicine year tutors overpass measurable contagion desire abler examine glorying bye organs easy enjoinest
You think organs have an easy time forming in an egg? Very stable. Neat.
God says...
C:\LoseThos\www.losethos.com\text\WEALTH.TXT
onopoly of the home market, can raise that value. The freest competition cannot lower it, Through the world in general, that value is equal to the quantity of labour which it can maintain, and in every particular place it is equal to the quantity of labour which it can ma...
Sure, there are times when I love the process of writing or programming or creating in general. But sometimes you have to jump some hurdles to get in the flow.
Learn to love the process, not the results. Find your foe not in achieving success, but in destroying the obstacles. You can't get anywhere if you cannot motivate yourself to go there.
Or something poetic like that. People should probably not assume that they have the right to do what they love. What they should learn is to love what they do.