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The amount of security that'll be required to keep people from sleeping in the beds and grabbing/stealing from here is probably astronomical.
Hmm, so will everything be glued, nailed or bolted down? Looking at local IKEA there is quite a lot of random stuff on display. Both sold in store and also things like books that are not.
The IKEA in Emeryville is not all that far away from impoverished areas.
Weird to have an IKEA in a downtown area. In London they are all on industrial parks in semi rough suburbs like Wembley, Croydon, Tottenham
I think this is more of a showroom for delivery. There are other ikeas within a short drive that are more in line with the industrial park warehouse setup
There’s an ikea in Hammersmith. I assume there no sed service box area, and perhaps a smaller display. If you want something it will presumably be home delivery.

I assume the market hall stuff is on site though.

There’s a central-London IKEA scheduled to open soon on Oxford Street on the Fitzrovia side - I think it’s the old Oxford Circus TopShop site. I’m looking forward to it!
In Stockholm there is an IKEA in literally the most central and most expensive commercial real estate in Scandinavia -- at Sergelstorg. I'm moving into a new apartment now, so it has been extremely useful to have an IKEA by the central train station!
I think IKEA is strategically making downtown stores all over the world. They recently (well, over a year I think) opened a downtown location in Stockholm, and it's excellent. They provide many of the smaller items you would find in an IKEA, and some showrooms. It's awesome for people without cars.
I am not american so I might be a bit unenlightened here. But it sounds weird that San Francisco is running so bad and their put their faith in a "hero" dressed as an Swedish furniture store.

What am I missing here?

You're missing something lost in translation. It's not "all of San Fransisco" that is putting their faith in a "hero". It's a development.

In the US, it's common to have a major store people want to travel to (here IKEA, or a big Walmart, in the past it might have been Macy's) "anchor" a commercial development. A bunch of smaller ancillary stories and food places are built around the same parking area or indoor mall, in the theory that the foot traffic will drive business.

Also, a large, reliable renter makes the project financing smoother. There's (almost) no risk IKEA will stop paying for their space compared to "TigerTeamX's Emporium".

What the article is therefore claiming is that "if a giant commercial project with an IKEA fails, then no large commercial project is likely to be able to succeed".

I know that people love to repurpose ikea stuff for various things, but I'm pretty sure you can't use a furniture store to fix a housing crisis.
Housing crisis is but one of many crises coming to a head in Sf: drug addiction, crime, breakdown of civil order, loss of public trust. Oh and the commercial real estate crash that’s coming at the end of the summer which will hit even healthier downtowns. Downtown SF is only going to get worse.
You didn't notice the humor because you're so focused on the politics. Where do you think I was going to fit all that crap? If a joke has a paragraph where a punchline should go, it's a shaggy dog.
Sounds like a buying opportunity. It won't stay that way forever.
I used to live between Market and Folsom, 2-3 minutes away from 945 and still visit occasionally as I have friends and family in the area.

The amount of sheer delusion exhibited by the people quoted in this article -some of whom seemingly possessing strong vested interests- is mindboggling. Rest assured that it will take nothing sort of multiple miracles to revitalize the area, IKEA opening shop not being one of them.

How in the world can an Ikea solve the crime and homeless issues? Not clicking.
We need Ikea, it sucks that there isn't anything like that in the city. Ross is always packed. It would be nice to actually see the furniture in person rather than taking a chance buying online. As far as "astronomical security"...The dollar store on Market street does fine with preventing people from stealing from them, they just don't put up with it when they see someone steal and make them empty their pockets. If the couple of employees there can do it I'm sure Ikea will be fine. No one is going to sleep in their beds, unless it's a yuppy that is there testing them out before buying it. I doubt many people are going to put a futon on their back, walk out and sell it for crack. How shallow can someone be to think that.