I am a man who is susceptible to limerence, and so parasocial interactions are a moral hazard for me. All it takes is for me to spot a nice singer in a cool video and then I get hooked, and I get into her life and study her bio, and follow her on all social media, and dream about her and create a verifiably artificial relationship in which she has no idea I exist, but we're close to getting married next month.
And if she's a distant celebrity on social media, at least it's safe. Sometimes I develop limerence for someone in real life, and it's even worse.
And I've had this all my life. I remember as a small child, I had McDonald's bed sheets (please don't laugh). And there were two child characters on the sheet, a boy and a girl who were friendly. And I would stay up at night kissing the girl and razzing the boy. So I had this parasocial romance with a 2D cartoon.
I watched a lot of TV and I had one crush after another. Elizabeth Montgomery on "Bewitched". Christina Applegate. Melissa Joan Hart. I collected magazine clippings, video shorts and edits, bios, I sought autographs, you know, all sorts of things before the Internet even happened. Once I was online I started fan-club mailing lists, I searched and read/edited Wikipedia articles, everything.
In fact I got wind that Melissa Joan Hart would be in Beverly Hills for a public appearance in 2011, so I purchased a ticket and rented a car. I visited her candy shoppe where she was not present, but I put on a show for the workers there, that's for sure. I went to the event and it was obvious that I desperately wanted to meet/touch/speak to her, and she wasn't having any of it.
Yeah, so parasocial interaction is a crazy thing, and I'd say that these days, I'm better equipped to discern the line between my fantasy and the reality of a relationship. But it's not easy when so many celebrities (especially obscure ones) are so accessible, just a DM away! Imagine the thrill you get when your favorite influencer "likes" your comment or replies! People are sure to shell out for a Patreon subscription when that happens.
Interesting, thank you for sharing! This behavior is somewhat outside my experience, which is why I posted the link.
What do you think about AI personas -- will they likely trigger limerence for you? My whole interest in this topic was initiated by the discussion of existing and possible future products along these lines that is happening here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36417826
I would say no, currently AI wouldn't be capable of holding my attention in the way a human would. Because I expect my relationships (no matter how artificial or distant they may be) to have depth. You know, I study the person, get to know their bio and vital statistics, their history, and I suppose AI could fabricate that kind of stuff, but it would all be fake.
And there is a parallel there to actresses who play a character in a show, and so they too have an artificial persona, but there is still a human with a real personality and history behind that character, and most of my limerence with actresses is spent studying the real person and getting to know her biography, beyond the artifice of a character in a show. With an AI, there wouldn't be anything satisfying like that.
I think that also limerence often carries the poorly-founded hope that there could be a consummation of the relationship, no matter the distance or insurmountable obstacles. With an AI I think it's a foregone conclusion that there wouldn't be any consummation. In fact it could be extremely bizarre, because an AI could in fact profess its love for someone and express desire to be close and a willingness to consummate that relationship! Now that is most unlike most parasocial interactions!
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[ 3.3 ms ] story [ 15.8 ms ] threadAnd if she's a distant celebrity on social media, at least it's safe. Sometimes I develop limerence for someone in real life, and it's even worse.
And I've had this all my life. I remember as a small child, I had McDonald's bed sheets (please don't laugh). And there were two child characters on the sheet, a boy and a girl who were friendly. And I would stay up at night kissing the girl and razzing the boy. So I had this parasocial romance with a 2D cartoon.
I watched a lot of TV and I had one crush after another. Elizabeth Montgomery on "Bewitched". Christina Applegate. Melissa Joan Hart. I collected magazine clippings, video shorts and edits, bios, I sought autographs, you know, all sorts of things before the Internet even happened. Once I was online I started fan-club mailing lists, I searched and read/edited Wikipedia articles, everything.
In fact I got wind that Melissa Joan Hart would be in Beverly Hills for a public appearance in 2011, so I purchased a ticket and rented a car. I visited her candy shoppe where she was not present, but I put on a show for the workers there, that's for sure. I went to the event and it was obvious that I desperately wanted to meet/touch/speak to her, and she wasn't having any of it.
Yeah, so parasocial interaction is a crazy thing, and I'd say that these days, I'm better equipped to discern the line between my fantasy and the reality of a relationship. But it's not easy when so many celebrities (especially obscure ones) are so accessible, just a DM away! Imagine the thrill you get when your favorite influencer "likes" your comment or replies! People are sure to shell out for a Patreon subscription when that happens.
What do you think about AI personas -- will they likely trigger limerence for you? My whole interest in this topic was initiated by the discussion of existing and possible future products along these lines that is happening here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36417826
And there is a parallel there to actresses who play a character in a show, and so they too have an artificial persona, but there is still a human with a real personality and history behind that character, and most of my limerence with actresses is spent studying the real person and getting to know her biography, beyond the artifice of a character in a show. With an AI, there wouldn't be anything satisfying like that.
I think that also limerence often carries the poorly-founded hope that there could be a consummation of the relationship, no matter the distance or insurmountable obstacles. With an AI I think it's a foregone conclusion that there wouldn't be any consummation. In fact it could be extremely bizarre, because an AI could in fact profess its love for someone and express desire to be close and a willingness to consummate that relationship! Now that is most unlike most parasocial interactions!