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Ask HN: Difficult Career Decision

3 points by techguy_crisis ↗ HN
What can you do if you are a software engineering manager working at a good software company that got acquired by another organisation that has terrible work ethics, show no respect for its employees and triggers all the red flags inside you? I am finding myself wanting to quit because I'm almost at my limits of what I can endure but I am also struggling with feelings of guilt about leaving my engineers in this challenging environment.

5 comments

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DamonHD
I think that you have to look after yourself initially, like putting on your own oxygen mask before attempting to help those around you. You may be able to bring across some of your team members in due course.
diamondap
I second this advice. I've been in your position, and I can tell you that that kind of management simply doesn't care about the talent beneath them. If you leave, they'll replace you with someone else and treat them the same way. Do not work where you can't be effective.

Other good employees, including many of those you are currently managing, will likely follow suit over time. And management won't really notice or care when a first-rate team walks and is replaced by a second-rate team. Management will treat them all the same.

That said, I have seen good team leaders move to greener pastures and convince some their better developers, over time, to join the new team. This happens in almost all industries.

Don't let your mental health suffer. If you care more than the decision-makers above you about what you're doing, you can't win. Go somewhere that will let you do your best work.

BTW, when I was in your position, I hesitated a long time before making my move. It got so bad, I thought I didn't even want to work in the tech industry anymore. When I finally did make the move, the difference was night and day. Work was enjoyable again, and I was energized and full of motivation.

In case you're interested, here's a brief account of my situation and job change, from long ago: https://sheprador.com/2022/04/worst-manager-ever/

loopsody
You summon the war god inside you and attack every person, by name, that is responsible for the issues that are so damn obvious to you and probably everyone else. You will either get an honest chance to fix things or not. Either way, you are engineers, for fucks sake, don't behave like you can't handle whatever comes next ...

You are not trying to be a hero or anything and you obviously don't want to be a coward and most importantly, you want to act responsibly WHILE KNOWING EXACTLY WHO AND WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DEALING WITH, it's a company with gears and belts and whistles, damn it, ... and now ... with some shitty humans that have been making bad decisions way before they became your colleagues ...

If you are at your limits, your fellow engineers might get there, too ...

Just treat this whole thing like it was a problem that you and your team face all the freaking time, except this time, there is also sabotage (terrible work ethics, show no respect for its employees and triggers all the red flags) ...

sys_64738
Nobody is more important than yourself so do what is right by you first above all else. Other engineers will do what matters to them when the time is right. You're not their mom, just their manager.
rungood
Speaking from experience, if you were a strong manager, your team would likely follow you wherever you end up going. So I wouldn't worry about leaving them behind as much as focusing your efforts on finding a good next opportunity where the employer would have the capacity to bring on more resources.