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Ask HN: As a SWE, should you be calm or high energy?

3 points by seestraw ↗ HN
This is something I’ve been grappling for a while as a software engineer. I used to be very high energy, but after joining a software engineering team at a large company, I felt a lot of peer pressure to be queit and not expressive. To be expressive seemed like an instant ticket to being respected less. So I became queit and yes people started respecting me, 180 degrees turn. I noticed the same thing at all 3 jobs I worked in, all in FAANG and similar companies.

On one hand, I like that I am calmer now, but on the other hand, I feel like I have lost a sense of energy.

What is the ideal balance here? Anyone have a similar experience?

4 comments

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Solitude042
I find 'passionately-focused' works for me - channel your energy into visible productivity, team uplift, prof dev, etc... When your energy becomes a distration to others, or aimed in a direction not supporting the workplace goals, it does show a lack of personal discipline and detracts from your coworkers' opinion.
seestraw
I understand what you’re saying. But I am not talking about distracted talk. Even workplace and project focused talks. I find the culture to be very different in non engineering teams.
gjvc
"Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues." (17:28, NIV)
brodouevencode
I think it depends on what you mean by high energy.

Are you talking loudly and interrupting work? Yeah, that would get on my nerves too. Are you excited about releasing new features and animated in your presentations because that's the appropriate time to be energetic? That's fine and you do you. Situation and context matters a lot.