Ask HN: What is something you wish you were taught at a younger age?

12 points by penaazv ↗ HN
Read a version of this online and it's definitely worth asking on HN :)

25 comments

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Everything but more. When somebody tells you that child has to be busy with rest and/or consuming kids content this is bullshit leading to a stupid adult. I can not forget when I visited a library first time (6yo) I was even not allowed to take any Physics/Chemistry books, all I could take was only silly literature for kids.
I was recently reading The Almanack of Naval Ravikant (great book btw), and one of the interesting things was he spent all his after-school hours in the library, for years! (It was a circumstantial thing)

But it's such a great way to get into reading, and feed your child-like curiosity with the best resources.

One of the things I'm grateful for is that my father has numerous books, especially encyclopedias. Even if they were old, I learned so much stuff that I would have not been exposed to or would have the time today to learn. The only real restriction in the house was porn and violence in graphic form.
One of the interesting ideas in some parts of the US homeschooling movement is that kids should spend their first 4-ish years of schooling in heavy memorization mode. Supposedly younger kids really enjoy it, and they may as well load up with good baseline knowledge since they're not going to be producing any interesting analysis of anything.
How to learn--speficically the six strategies identified by cognitive scientists:

1. Spacing 2. Retrieval practice 3. Interleaving 4. Dual coding 5. Concrete examples 6. Elaborative interrogation

www.learningscientists.org/ is a good place to start learning about these techniques.

I'm kinda taken aback by how I haven't come across this yet. Thank you so much for sharing!
How to make connections with other people;

How to figure out a long term objective by myself and stick to it;

How to lead;

Basically all soft skills that make one more comfortable when navigating in the dark and dangerous sea that is one's life. Without them one would be anxious for all life. Yeah, you can train yourself on each of the skills, but usually 1) It's already too late, and 2) Sometimes you get the wrong ideas so the more you train the worse the situation becomes.

I'd like to elaborate on the points.

First I believe it is extremely difficult to teach these skills and more to teach them "right". Because you can only teach by showing how you do it, so it totally depends on the teacher's experience (i.e. it is a "double" luck question -- the student needs to be lucky to get a teacher to teach these skills, and lucky to get a right teacher).

In addition the student has to learn the skills when they are still young, otherwise it's not going to make any significant impact. Sure you can learn the skills in the 40s but then it's going to be a lot easier and impactful if you figure them out when you are 10 (trust me I saw those people).

So eventually it's a triple-luck question.

That trans men exist.

Best case it could have saved me twenty thousands dollars in medical expenses and given me a body that doesn't look like it was stitched together by Frankenstein due to transitioning as an adult. I might also have been able to start a career I enjoy at a younger age, instead of wasting four years of college and five years of my career on a job I hate.

Worst case, it would still have made me a less obnoxious and sexist child. Once I understood how I was different, I was a lot nicer to the people around me.

(I know this is controversial and maybe bordering on flame bait - even though that is not my intention, so I'll try to ignore any responses.)

The Trivial: How to properly tie my shoes. Half the time, by chance, I'd be tying them wrong, and they'd come undone.

How people think, and especially the fact that nobody has it figured out. We're all guessing at how to do things. If you think you do have it figured out, you're likely very wrong.

The value of curation. I picked up a lot of hoarding habits along the way that are so destructive, so much waste and loss. I wish someone had taught me about picking and choosing, instead of just collecting more and more stuff.

The last one hits home. Along with habits, I guess it also applies to people and memories.
That it is possible to do something with your life.

That sounds a bit obnoxious but when I was younger I (and my peers) was told constantly that I would not get through college, or fail on that project, or not get a good job, fail at starting a company, on and on.

The guy (or girl) that good grades was told they could do anything of course. But what I learned growing up is that is relatively easy to ace a high school test if you put some effort in. In doesn’t tell you anything about what you will be able to do in later life. That A you got on Bio isn’t going to help you with your job now (even if you are a Bio engineer).

Life is so much more complicated than a few tests. People achieve great things all the time from a diverse set of backgrounds.

Sure you probably won’t become the next Steve Jobs but there are so many great things to do that are very achievable for an average person with a little work ethic and passion, and who knows maybe you will do something that connects with other people and you do end up changing the world!

I absolutely LOVE this comment. It's so true. And super well-said.

Life is certainly way more complicated than a few tests. And there's so many great things to do and achieve!

Thank you so much for writing this. A much-needed reminder.

Note-taking. I was good at understanding stuff, but the only example of note-taking I had has been religiously copying everything the teacher was writing, and school was always about memorizing. I distrusted that heavily because it feels so alien to me. Now I've learned about proper note-taking and learning new stuff is effortless.
Would you like to share something specific that helped you get better at effective note-taking?
The zettelkasten site and forum: https://zettelkasten.de

The book "How to build a second brain" by Tiago Forte.

Andy Matuschak's site: https://notes.andymatuschak.org/About_these_notes

The Garden movement (it is the motivation)

How to take smart notes by Ahrens

And a lot of research and trying stuff. Now, I outline stuff while I'm reading (the good books) explaining stuff as I would to another person. Then I do a synthesis by grouping related stuff together, adding them to previous notes and creating new ones. Then I link these groups together, as everything is related, and you can find the links if you're curious enough.

This is such an amazing list. Thank you so much for sharing!
I am using LibreOffice Writer that is structured with Headers so I can quickly jump on right section from the side bar. Also am always adding the source of information at the end of particular piece of the note and saving that source (webpage, book etc) in similarly structured folder next to the note file. Started doing this several years ago and works well for me.
Keep away from cheap treats. Better to have something extravagant rarely than shitty chocolate daily.

Find a daily exercize and keep with it.

That party friends don't last. It's kind gross to be the oldest person at a party.

If you have any inkling that you might want to have a romantic partner and kids, lock that partner in by the end of university or at the very latest by the time you're 25. The pickings get slim after that.

To keep a journal. My long term memory is awful, I have no idea what I was like 10 years ago.
Brush your teeth. Buy shoes that fit. Walk 2-3 miles every day. Dont eat until you feel full. Feeling full comes 10 minutes after eating.
Invest for the long term. You may get lucky and have an exit, but you’re more likely to get rich by saving and investing over a long time period.
Experiment more! Try clothes on that you can't afford. Try loosing 10 pounds. Try being super lazy. Stop doing all the normal things you do every day. Try living somewhere else. Try not watching TV/Movies for a month. Try reading 2 hours a day. Try calling your parents every day. Try staying off the internet for a week. Try volunteering. Try traveling alone. Try waking up at 5 AM.

It is very very easy to do what comes naturally and never deviate from that. Break the pattern.

You earned this upvote :)

> Break the pattern.

Well said!