Ask HN: How do you stop letting your work performance affect your overall mood?

3 points by croqueton 2y ago ↗ HN

I'm a programmer, like many of you. I'm 31 years old, working as team lead where I luckily still get to do lots of coding.

On days where I do well at my job I feel good, optimistic and motivated in my life, including non-work related activities.

Unfortunately the same is true when I don't have a productive day. It makes me feel depressed, worthless, unable to plan ahead and unable to look at the positives in life.

How do I learn to separate the two? I think I have a good work-life balance, but work seems to disproportionately affect my mood. On a day where I can't solve a bug or my progress is slowed down due to some distraction, I feel like shit and I can't seem to shake it off.

4 comments

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Quixotica1 2y ago ↗

Sounds corny but this book has a lot of practical advice on how to process emotions and build healthy habits. It’s written by a psychologist and it’s a lot of CBT with explanations of the stoic origins of the current recommended CBT practices. Helped me out.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Think-Like-Roman-Emperor/dp/12501...

ericalexander0 2y ago ↗

Meditation and/or exercise. It's very human to ruminate over a negative experience. Both meditation and exercise can help refocus your mind on more important things.

paktek123 2y ago ↗

You seem to be defining your self-worth as your performance at work. At work you are simply a replaceable employee, whether you do well or not is defined by a bunch of managers and higher ups at your job. Why are you letting them define your self-worth? I'm pretty sure you are worth way more than that. Define your self-worth yourself don't let others decide, there is more to life than work.

JoeyBananas 2y ago ↗

Divest in your job. Find other things to do that you care about.