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Ask HN: Do you discuss issues or just hope they go away?

1 points by throwaway103xx ↗ HN
I come from a family that struggles to communicate and just hopes that problems will go away.

One parent offended the other? A week without talking and then in the next Sunday family lunch let's pretend nothing happened. They divorced after many decades and don't speak to each other anymore.

Same at work. One coworker might disagree with something, just goes along and starts to resent the other person. But on the surface everything is fine.

What's your approach? And if you prefer to speak, has that ever backfired?

2 comments

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nilslindemann
Man, all people who can not clearly communicate are nuts to some degree. Your parents were nuts, that coworker is nuts. Always communicate, always close communication circles. Why do you think they say "copy that" in military? Your parents should have said that more often to each other ;-)

I am not saying to argue with antagonists. They just argue because they are bored, not because they want to solve anything. I have had the best results by clearly stating the fact: "You do not interest. Go away."

nilslindemann
What I said in the previous post may sound a bit harsh, but of course I do look at others and try to grasp what they feel, and I let them know what I feel. And I do not judge them for who they are or for how I feel.