I've never been sure whether I'm someone who genuinely takes something from these things or whether I just like the idea that I might be able to. The only passage I have really ever had stick with me is from the Hagakure and I've felt applies nicely to how I see efficient dev:
Among the maxims on Lord Naoshige's wall there was this one: ''Matters of' great concern should be treated lightly.''
Master lttei commented, "Matters of small concern should be treated seriously." Among one's affairs there should not
be more than two or three matters of what one could call great concern. If these are deliberated upon during ordinary
times, they can be understood. Thinking about things previously and then handling them lightly when the time comes
is what this is all about. To face an event anew solve it lightly is difficult if you are not resolved beforehand, and there
will always be uncertainty in hitting your mark. However, if the foundation is laid previously, you can think of the
saying, "Matters of great concern should be treated lightly," as your own basis for action.
tl;dr You should be prepared for issues that are of great significance so that the actual decision process becomes easy. It is the small issues that arise day to day that you should put great attention to.
> For anyone that’s striking out, or wants to make change, I think his life holds a lot of lessons. Eji Yoshikawa’s “Musashi” might be the best start for you, if you want to read one Japan’s classical novels, and get a bunch of resolve.
Alternatively, anyone looking for something easier to digest should check out Vagabond, an award-winning manga by Inoue Takehito that chronicles Musashi's life.
The problem with Vagabond is that it's not finished. I read Musashi after reading Vagabond because I didn't want to wait for the chapters anymore. Both are great and you should know there are mayor differences specially in Sasaki Kojirō character.
When I worked as a dating coach, one of the most common mental tics we had to work to get out of students was an obsession about being "in the right".
This manifested in all sorts of ways that would totally kill social interactions: correcting a girl on some factual detail in some story she was telling; saying hateful things to girls to "reject them first" at the first sense that she might not be totally interested; not being willing to take chances in social interactions; a complete unwillingness to touch girls, ever, for any reason; and most importantly, an inability to HAVE FUN.
The above is fact; my conjecture about /why/ (which possibly isn't) was that often these guys had been battered about mentally and socially by people, and their mental refuge for their self image was the "correctness high-ground".
Anyway:
- If you want to live a life full of "being right" and not having much fun, these rules look excellent.
- If you are unable to discern between eating great food from time to time and total all-out gluttony, if you follow these rules you will avoid gluttony. The same applies to most of the others (avoid pleasure for pleasure's sake?! Get a grip)
- If you get a geek boner at the idea of being a samurai, print these out and put these above your bed
There are many, many great spiritual books encapsulating the small amount of good advice in this list, but really the above is a recipe for navel-gazing piety.
Going to excesses of gluttony or austerity are for the mentally weak, rather than winning life philosophies.
Or the one who is confident in himself, and goes up to the girl for the experience of it, to make friends, and depending on if the girl is cool or not, pursue something deeper?
-------------
I'm not sure how any of these principles prevent you from being an awesome confident guy that gets women.
Maybe these rules that you're talking about are just made by guys to prevent themselves from doing what they're scared of.
But, don't these principles suggest to do exactly what you're scared of?
Please understand that I am answering this from experience - four years working as a full-time dating coach - rather than as what "should happen":
The answer is the first, and also, the second guy is kidding himself.
If you want to be an awesome confident guy that gets women, be an awesome confident guy that gets women. If you're seeking to define yourself by Living Like A Samurai, you have a weak model of self, and need to learn that life happens in shades of grey, rather than in absolutes.
I think I get where you're coming from. A lot of this can be interpreted as a way to shun yourself from the world and not face reality. But can't anyone do that with anything helpful?
I lived in Colombia for a while, and partied a lot. Met tons of girls, along with guys who tried using what a lot of dating coaches teach, but it only restricted them...they defined themeselves absolutely by what they did.
Then again I met a ton of guys who used what a lot of dating coaches teach to be awesome confident guys that get women.
Maybe it all comes down to striving to be awesome confident guys, and defining yourself by anything--especially in absolutes--goes against that. That's why anyone that says they're a samurai, or a pick up artist, might not go very far.
Hence the idea that philosophy or dating lessons are not at fault, it's the people who interpret them.
> A lot of this can be interpreted as a way to shun yourself from the world and not face reality. But can't anyone do that with anything helpful?
There are lots of texts on rising above worldly pleasures, and some are very good. I'm a particular fan of Ekhart Tolle's work, and I enjoyed the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying... The Tao of Pooh, and the Te of Piglet got me through a difficult adolescence.
As with any idea, though, simplifying it too far tends to lose important subtleties. The mental austerity mentioned in the original post is likely to strike a resonant chord with many men who wished they had better self-control, and who wished they were acting with more general agency in their life. Men are complete suckers for certain ideals of manhood, certain archetypes that are well presented. If this is something that interests you, I can strongly recommend the books Iron John by Robert Bly, King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore, and the excellent Way of The Superior Man by David Deida.
I find this quote by Alan Watts particularly poignant, and perhaps an antidote to the original post:
"We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, maybe heaven after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4)
An interesting story about Musashi, and what may have influenced some of what he wrote prior to his death, was his encounter with the monk Takuan. Musashi saw a snake approaching the monk in mediation, and witnessed the snake simply crawl over Takuan without any fear. But as the snake approached Musashi, it recoiled to strike, then ran away. Musashi was grieved because he felt that what he had cultivated was lacking -- he had developed his fighting skill so much that nothing would approach him. In contrast, Takuan demonstrated a deep peacefulness and naturalness that led to all, even a snake, accepting him.
As to how much of this is legendary or not, I'm not certain, but it's something to contemplate.
14 comments
[ 2.8 ms ] story [ 53.4 ms ] threadAmong the maxims on Lord Naoshige's wall there was this one: ''Matters of' great concern should be treated lightly.'' Master lttei commented, "Matters of small concern should be treated seriously." Among one's affairs there should not be more than two or three matters of what one could call great concern. If these are deliberated upon during ordinary times, they can be understood. Thinking about things previously and then handling them lightly when the time comes is what this is all about. To face an event anew solve it lightly is difficult if you are not resolved beforehand, and there will always be uncertainty in hitting your mark. However, if the foundation is laid previously, you can think of the saying, "Matters of great concern should be treated lightly," as your own basis for action.
tl;dr You should be prepared for issues that are of great significance so that the actual decision process becomes easy. It is the small issues that arise day to day that you should put great attention to.
Alternatively, anyone looking for something easier to digest should check out Vagabond, an award-winning manga by Inoue Takehito that chronicles Musashi's life.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagabond_(manga)#Differences_wi...
This manifested in all sorts of ways that would totally kill social interactions: correcting a girl on some factual detail in some story she was telling; saying hateful things to girls to "reject them first" at the first sense that she might not be totally interested; not being willing to take chances in social interactions; a complete unwillingness to touch girls, ever, for any reason; and most importantly, an inability to HAVE FUN.
The above is fact; my conjecture about /why/ (which possibly isn't) was that often these guys had been battered about mentally and socially by people, and their mental refuge for their self image was the "correctness high-ground".
Anyway:
- If you want to live a life full of "being right" and not having much fun, these rules look excellent.
- If you are unable to discern between eating great food from time to time and total all-out gluttony, if you follow these rules you will avoid gluttony. The same applies to most of the others (avoid pleasure for pleasure's sake?! Get a grip)
- If you get a geek boner at the idea of being a samurai, print these out and put these above your bed
There are many, many great spiritual books encapsulating the small amount of good advice in this list, but really the above is a recipe for navel-gazing piety.
Going to excesses of gluttony or austerity are for the mentally weak, rather than winning life philosophies.
Which guy do you think does better with women:
The one that goes up to a girl looking for sex?
Or the one who is confident in himself, and goes up to the girl for the experience of it, to make friends, and depending on if the girl is cool or not, pursue something deeper?
-------------
I'm not sure how any of these principles prevent you from being an awesome confident guy that gets women.
Maybe these rules that you're talking about are just made by guys to prevent themselves from doing what they're scared of.
But, don't these principles suggest to do exactly what you're scared of?
The answer is the first, and also, the second guy is kidding himself.
If you want to be an awesome confident guy that gets women, be an awesome confident guy that gets women. If you're seeking to define yourself by Living Like A Samurai, you have a weak model of self, and need to learn that life happens in shades of grey, rather than in absolutes.
I lived in Colombia for a while, and partied a lot. Met tons of girls, along with guys who tried using what a lot of dating coaches teach, but it only restricted them...they defined themeselves absolutely by what they did.
Then again I met a ton of guys who used what a lot of dating coaches teach to be awesome confident guys that get women.
Maybe it all comes down to striving to be awesome confident guys, and defining yourself by anything--especially in absolutes--goes against that. That's why anyone that says they're a samurai, or a pick up artist, might not go very far.
Hence the idea that philosophy or dating lessons are not at fault, it's the people who interpret them.
There are lots of texts on rising above worldly pleasures, and some are very good. I'm a particular fan of Ekhart Tolle's work, and I enjoyed the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying... The Tao of Pooh, and the Te of Piglet got me through a difficult adolescence.
As with any idea, though, simplifying it too far tends to lose important subtleties. The mental austerity mentioned in the original post is likely to strike a resonant chord with many men who wished they had better self-control, and who wished they were acting with more general agency in their life. Men are complete suckers for certain ideals of manhood, certain archetypes that are well presented. If this is something that interests you, I can strongly recommend the books Iron John by Robert Bly, King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore, and the excellent Way of The Superior Man by David Deida.
I find this quote by Alan Watts particularly poignant, and perhaps an antidote to the original post:
"We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, maybe heaven after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4)
As to how much of this is legendary or not, I'm not certain, but it's something to contemplate.