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on my car you can disable the audible alerts for many of these features and i think you can disable the safety features entirely if you so desire
Sadly, in this case, the DINGs when starting the engine are hardcoded. The blind spot and lane departure system can be turned off, but forcefully turns back on when you restart the engine.
Any reason you're hiding the make/model of the car?
It seemed unimportant during the writing of that admittedly hyperbolic post because I think I'm having the perfect median 2023 new car experience; other than that no reason, it's a Kia Ceed. I'm probably getting a beat up 2003 volkswagen next.
I own a 2001 Corolla in a country I don't even live in any more. I put it into storage just to be able to use it when I visit, because it's more reliable, more practical, and infinitely less infuriating than literally anything sold in the past 15 years. Car cost me under $3k, 310,000kms on the original manual transmission and no issues. Meanwhile, 3 year old Subaru's are requiring $10,000 transmission replacements because manufacturers still can't build CVTs that last more than 80,000kms, and won't sell you a manual any more.
Go for the ‘03 VW. Other than the auto trans, the Mark 4 Golf/Jetta (97-‘06) is arguably the best car ever made, and the TDIs are as efficient as a prius. A reliable, fun to drive car that only costs a few grand!
and the TDIs are as efficient as a prius

Not exactly. Real MPG figures put the best TDI at ~60MPG or 200g CO2/mile. Prius is 65MPG or ~165g CO2/mile, ignoring CO2 from extraction, refining etc. You can't directly compare diesel and petrol by mpg.

Renewable diesel is widely available in the USA, especially in California (where it's over half of diesel sold), which has about 1/3rd the CO2 footprint of petroleum diesel.

Yes, the newer Prius models are indeed slightly more fuel efficient than a 20 year old TDI, but the TDI has a much lower cost of ownership, lower carbon footprint, and most importantly- is much more fun to drive.

Both of those numbers are basically rural highway hypermiling numbers, not realistic long term averages. Actual TDI hypermilers can even get over 80mpg, of course driving really unusually (https://www.kbb.com/car-news/vw-golf-tdi-sets-fuel-economy-r...). I think Prius hypermilers do get even more than that. Realistically you're only going to get around 40-50mpg in either of them in regular use. One thing I really like about the TDI, is the economy doesn't drop as much if you drive aggressively, which I like to do.

To be honest though, an old TDI is a hobbyist car, to get it to be reliable you need to learn all about tuning and maintaining one.

lol, i have never understood the issue with toggles resetting on engine-off. like, what toggle EVER would you want that for?
It's probably meant for when the sensors malfunction and you want to drive it to the nearest approved repair shop.
I think the reason is that you come to rely on the safety features, and if somebody else drives your car and turns it off, you're more likely to get in an accident now that it doesn't DING you.
It must be for liability. It’s not for you. It’s to protect the automaker.
Is it a recent model year? If so, what make and model if you don't mind me asking?
Some manufacturers don’t allow this. My partner got a 22 Subaru forester and the audible alerts cannot be turned off without disabling the system altogether. although to be fair they are relative unobtrusive most of the time unless they are critical

This is a disturbing trend though. The car has in cabin cameras to identify the driver. So if I drive it I’m recognized and the seat is adjusted automatically. Handy, right? However, they also have “features” like gestures to adjust the climate control where you make a fist in the air to adjust the temperature up. This is remarkably easy to false trigger. There is no way to turn it off except via the dealer who assured us at delivery that it could be turned off (I was certain this feature would be stupid and annoying during test drive and was right). However, it’s still on a year later because none of their stupid techs can figure out how to turn it off. We almost want to return the car over this. It’s very frustrating to be driving down the highway and having a discussion and suddenly the heat is set to 80F because you talk with your hands. Absolutely moronic design

I get a lack of ability to disable alerts and controls for the stuff related to autonomous driving/lane assist/acc/etc; I’m sure that’s rife with legal liability and allowing the system to work without alerts has some lawyer on their team all freaked out. But hvac control schemes?? Seriously??

If you buy a car then they later ask you to accept a new TOS you should be able to refuse and return the car for a full refund.

You thought you had a contract with them, then they made you a counter offer. Under the Uniform Commercial Code (UCC) I think you have the right to refuse and get your money back.

You should also be able to refuse and _not_ return the car but keep using it under the original terms that you actually signed with
They should be forced to have separate updates for fixes/updates and another for new features. fixes/updates should not require new ToS, and should be possible to auto-update for safety reasons. new features should be forced to wait for an intentional agree to update before installing.
The problem here is that new features often involve some refactoring work. Then, if you didn't opt for feature X, the company isn't going to go out of their way to make and ship and maintain a fix for the old non-refactored version, so if you want fixes, there is no way to get them without feature X... Unless they are using feature flags of course, but then no fixes/updates are exactly "safe" for the combination of features agreed to.
It's a perfectly manageable problem. We just have to tell them they have to manage it.
Why can't they just maintain stable branches with bugfixes backported to them? You don't need feature flags for this, you can literally do this with just semver. Plenty of products support some number of previous minor versions but will backport bugfixes to them, and plenty of others have LTS releases that have a longer window of bugfixes still being made without new features.

If the claim is that there's something fundamental about car software that makes this less possible than literally every other type of software in existence, the burden is on the car companies to prove it. I strongly doubt this is the case, but if it is, I'd argue that the more prudent thing is to just _not_ keep adding features, because fixing bugs for the multi-ton behemoths hurtling alongside one another at high speeds sounds more important than literally anything that they could provide to the car that people have already decided is worthy of purchasing with the current set of features.

The problem with trying to keep it under the original TOS is that the company will just ignore your rights and pretend you agreed to the new TOS. What proof do you have that you did not click "I agree?"

If you have the right to return a 3-year-old car with collision damage and get a 100% ful refund, then they will NEVER change the TOS and ask you to agree.

Also, this was the Uniform Commerical Code (UCC) for many years until they decided (IIRC) that software was not subject to the UCC. Maybe we can make the case that software has come of age and fraud is now fraud?

This shit is so hilarious, it's a Kia... as Mozilla recently researched, they have updated their TOS to include storing "sexual orientation". What the hell do you need that info for? Why even expose yourself, as a company, to the potential public shaming once someone finds out that on page 542 of your new terms it says "we want to know what turns you on"?
Out of curiosity, what model?

I have a 2020 Telluride and while it has a lot of the features you list, I can also configure almost all of them.

The company doesn’t need that info. One random product manager or marketing manager that wants a promotion and has a KPI to beat Subaru cares about that metric for the 6 months that metric matters to them, and as a result hundreds of millions of people must suffer from undue stalking behavior.

But at least it’s Data Driven™

This being enforced sure would put an end to TOS being revised. (Which, overall, would be a good thing.)

What I dream about is consumer protection laws mandating that the car owner can simply opt out of whatever 'services' the car offers and then not be nagged about it.

Just a large, friendly dialog box with the two options 'Sure, collect all the data you can about me, my passengers, my driving habits, the environs I drive in, and whatever inferences you may derive from collating data, including, but not limited to the above. The data will be sold to whoever are willing to pay us for them.' and 'Just leave me the heck alone!'

I wrote this mostly to test-drive the awesome mataroa blogging platform. Wanted to write a short two paragraphs but once I got into it, there was no end to my pent up annoyance at the sorry state of car software UX.
Yes, yes, let the hate flow through you.
"Demented Tamagotchi on Wheels"

You made my day with this. As the other guy said, just let the hate flow.

What is the make/model, so we can avoid/be wary of it?
also I suck with car knowledge, but I believe the hot tire pressure is different from when they're cold. Perhaps the car's software doesn't take that into account?
I believe air pressure increases with temperature, which shouldn't set off a low pressure warning.

I wonder which style of tire pressure monitoring they're using.

One is to measure the output from the wheel speed sensors. A difference in speed is assumed to mean a difference in size. A smaller tire must be a low tire.

The other is to have actual sensors in the tires that read pressures. They're usually paired to the car.

I have a set of tires (with sensors) in the garage that my car will pick up from the driveway. The sensor reads and everything looks great. The alarm will go off to tell me the sensor isn't reading anymore a few KMs from home, and it is correct.

> The other is to have actual sensors in the tires that read pressures.

Hell, my car (admittedly a performance vehicle) will give you exact PSI, but more than that, even gives you individual tire temperatures.

Raising the temp raises the tire pressure, so that definitely shouldn't cause a low pressure warning.

But, broadly speaking, definitely sounds like they didn't take something into account w.r.t. hot tire pressure. Maybe the tire sensors are throwing a warning because the temp is too high, and the software is incorrectly displaying it as a low pressure warning, or... or some other hellish combination of failure.

> the software is incorrectly displaying it as a low pressure warning

The post doesn't specify if the display actually says low pressure, or if the TPMS warning light comes on, which we usually interpret as low pressure (most common case). If it is the TPMS light, I'm sure that's more of an "out of range" warning than "low pressure."

The post specifically says, "It complains about low tire pressure" so I took the author at their word.

But on the other hand, you may be right. Maybe it's just a TPMS light. It's a fun ranty blog post, the author wasn't necessarily being super precise with language =)

But the other other hand, not all TPMS systems can detect overpressure (indirect TPMS only detects underpressure)

Yeah, friction heats the tires (and air inside them) when being driven, more so with more speed and time, creating extra pressure in the tires. I've had my car complain to me about tire pressure a handful of times, only to check the pressure and noticed 3 more PSI than usual in one tire, all others OK.
Some cars use "indirect TPMS," which means instead of a sensor in the tire's valve stem, it measures the speed of each wheel and uses some fancy math to determine if the pressure is low.

I'm not sure if the Kia Ceed is one of such cars, but if it is, there may be some wackiness in their indirect TPMS system. Especially considering the OP says it only happens after prolonged driving at high speeds.

My wife's 2015 CRV works this way.

We've verified with three tire pressure readers that all the tires are the exact same pressure (within ~0.5 PSI). We've manually done the magic to reset the computer.

The TPMS system light still comes on after a few minutes of driving. Dealer service department has no idea what's wrong.

hot air=denser. When tires travelling on road, rubber get hot. Hot rubber make hot air.

So, "low pressure" after an extended drive is opposite of expected behavior. More common that you prolly run into yourself is the low pressure light in the mornign when it's cold, that then goes away as you drive for a little bit.

I edited the post to contain that info (a Kia Ceed) as I'd want to avoid that myself too. But sadly I think that means avoiding 90% of all new cars nowadays...
I was reading it and said to myself "geez, sounds like that Kia minivan I rented". I got to the end and was delighted.

The two cars I actually own, a VW and a Toyota have much better experiences in my opinion.

JFYI, you can call yourself lucky with engine starting, the new i20 (Hyunday, so from Corea as well) in order to start needs:

1) neutral

2) clutch depressed

AND:

3) brake depressed (hand brake pulled doesn't count)

seriously, why would you avoid naming whilst shamung?
Great writing! And I totally sympathize which is why I now drive a rebuilt 26 year old car.
Very entertaining.

Many features can be disabled, and most allow you to do things the old way (e.g., closing the trunk manually), but some features either block you from doing things any other way or making it extremely difficult to do the old way, for example minivans with power doors make make it very difficult to open a door manually and refuse to open when the vehicle is not in park.

Old cars have their own drawbacks, but at least they're not bossy.

> infotainment unit

oh. mine has exactly 5,000 slots for mp3 filenames. Not seeing more. A 2022 top-model car. And that "supercomputer" boots in freaking 35+seconds.. Well, i have 35000 songs to listen to. so.. Bundle them together.. LP-sides-like.

Zuruck in zukunft?

I bet it's shit on purpose. Now, if you pay 5000 euros more for the premium model, you'll get 10 times more songs and boot in 10 seconds (I.e., they'll flip the premium model flag bit in the car software)!
it was a top-ever model. No further premiums. comeon, who can fit more than 5000 pieces on a 256Gb USB stick?

but, i forgot these ones..

> goddamn tires

ah yes. ding.. it complains about tire pressure being different. Nah, it won't tell which tire. Or how much (1% or 10% or 70%).

So if you see me suddenly stopping in empty mid highway, and walking 3 times around the car kicking each tire 2 times exactly, that's a good omen.. when the sun heats on the left..

> wiggling the wheel

ah and this one. On a laser-straight highway. With perfectly aligned wheels and drive train. With 170km/h. You must wiggle the steering wheel.. or you'll be ding-donged to insanity. Safety first?

> ah yes. ding.. it complains about tire pressure being different. Nah, it won't tell which tire. Or how much (1% or 10% or 70%).

I've given up on tire pressure sensors. Our tire pressure alert light is probably on 50% of the time.

Check tires, half the time they all read fine. They all look fine. They're OK, then the temp drops 10 degrees F, now the light's on. Man, I just can't be bothered. Tell me which the fuck tire you're worried about (which you fucking know!) and I'll start paying attention again. The guessing game is no fun.

> it was a top-ever model. No further premiums.

I see, perhaps in that case you have to wait for a couple of years for a very reasonably priced upgrade (subscription model!) to unlock the extra features (that are there all the time, just restricted by software).

Thank you, this makes me appreciate my rusty old Saab even more. It's in the shop a few weeks every year, but it seems like it's worth it!
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New cars with minimal electronics do exist on the US market, but they are on the low end. Still, saving a lot of money and having no annoying features might make them worth considering.
I'm driving a dumb car. It's getting old, showing its age, opens by putting a physical key into the door. It has like zero annoyances (except f'ng over the climate I guess). It has buttons. It has a radio with buttons I can control without having to take my eyes fo the road. The radio is probably the most sophisticated piece of electronics in it, gladly connecting with everything sensible because it has a line-in jack. tldr; the car plainly and simply just works and is a tool with an awesome utility value for me (especially nice is that given the age we don't care at all anymore about scratches, so I can literally throw my bike in and not care).

Now, the sad thing is: this should be normal. And 20 years or so ago, this would have been just a normal car amongst most others. Today, compared with cars like the one in OP's rant, it's as if my dumb cheap ugly car is a feature for behaving the way it does. The other sad thing being that a lot of people don't seem to realize this. Like, waiting for your trunk to close is somehow a good thing. I'll probably won't get a car anymore when this one breaks down (yes, I know I'm lucky I can get away with that, stil..). I don't want to feel getting annoyed and dumbed down by something which should be my tool, not the other way around.

I'd love to be car free again, I spent 5-ish years exclusively riding my bike and I miss it like crazy.

I had a 95 Camry that I loved to death until it died spectacularly on I70 outside of Vail. Then I had an Audi RS3 that was fun to floor from time to time but otherwise annoyed the hell out me. The tech was absolute crap, everything was overly complicated, just annoying. I now has a Model 3 and despite having the most tech of them all, it does it astonishingly well. I have all the climate controls set to auto and I have not touched them in three years. The car preheats/cools at a set time every morning so when I get in with the kids it's comfy. I never think about gas or maintenance. I don't even need to remember to grab a key. You literally get in with your phone in your pocket, put it in drive and go, using only one pedal to drive. In the weirdest way it's the best dumb car I've driven (and I was a freelance automotive reviewer reviewing 2-3 cars a week for almost 10 years).

Thanks for this alternative view on things, makes me realize even more it's not the tech per se which is the issue, but the way it is executed.
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I just bought a Mazda MX5. I love the car but utterly loathe the "entertainment system". When it isn't hanging/crashing (which it does about once a week) it prevents using any of the screen controls while the car is moving. Instead you need to take your eyes off the road longer to use a physical dial to scroll to the control you want to press. Oh and this weekend I kept getting warnings about high-wind conditions 200 miles away from me that I could not close at all while the car was moving, meanwhile no music and no GPS.

I just don't understand how whoever approves this thinks it's a good idea. It seems to be this way across almost all Mazda models. There used to be a way to turn that off but Mazda removed that. So there are indeed people actively making this moronic behavior a thing.

My last car was a previous version. I was able to disable the change lane warning and other annoyances and didn't use any "infotainment" except connecting the phone or plugging a USB stick with MP3s. No GPS either.

The change lane warning was terrible. In a busy city it was totally wrong: approaching the line in anticipation of changing lanes is unavoidable. It also triggered when another vehicle behind was approaching still very far away. I tried to come to terms with the system, but I had to disable it all eventually.

I'm afraid of buying a new one. If all that crap is impossible to disable, I refuse to pay for it.

> disable the change lane warning

Does Mazda not disable the lane change warning when you use a turn signal?

There are so many people in these kinds of threads that tattle on themselves and will never admit that they might have unsafe driving habits.
How does that help? If you use a turn signal when changing lanes, it should only be done after you've departed your lane, as an indicator that it was intentional. :p
Just know if you're ever in a related accident, insurance will ask/check if that was enabled for their analysis.
Not unless there's a lot of money on the line.

Step daughter had an accident where the issue was a collision mid intersection, assumption of one party running a red light. No cameras, no witnesses except her and the other party, and both were adamant they had a green.

The car she was driving absolutely has telemetry that could have shown "was she at a complete stop, and for how long", immediately before the collision, i.e. showing being stopped at a red light before going (still some discussion on timing if jumping the gun, sure).

Insurance wasn't even remotely interested. It's not worth it to get that information unless, like I (and they) said, it's a very serious accident with a lot of money on the line and no other ways to determine fault.

The warning triggers when you approach the line, not when you cross the line. That seems logical, but it was calibrated in a way that it started even if I moved a little to the left so I could use the rear-view mirror, as usual when I have a truck behind me.

Other times it started even driving totally centered in the lane, why? Irregularities in the road surface or temporary lines that someone painted during works and nobody deleted properly.

The alerts were dangerous because, if I'm already paying attention, I now get the idea that there's some danger elsewhere so I just start to nervously look in all directions, before reaching the conclusion that the system is incorrectly second guessing me.

I have a 2021 MX-5. The dealer had to do a software update recently which fixed most of the hanging/crashing bugs in the infotainment system. It also fixed a very weird issue where Google Maps would be 5-20 seconds behind on CarPlay (meaning I frequently missed my turn!).

The weather alert thing is super annoying, but it can be disabled. I had to re-disable it after the infotainment update, presumably because they disconnected the battery. I wish I remembered which random place I had to go in the UI to disable it... IIRC it was hidden in the settings for traffic or something?!?

Edit: It's buried in Sirius settings. I don't subscribe to Sirius, so I wouldn't have thought to go there, except I had exhausted all other options.

Hard disagree. My MX5 is my favorite car I had in the last 10 years.

My only gripe with it: Car Play crashes sporadically, while Android Auto works just fine, also why Wi-Fi isn't working for AA?

Not once have I used it as a touch screen or taken my eyes off the road to use a physical dial. You know where I did have to do it? In my Jeep that is only touch screen and buttons don't remember what I'm currently using unlike MX5. Also, those high wind warnings are far more annoying in Jeep than in Miata.

: If I'm using car's radio and Car Play's Google Maps - pressing the nav button will bring Google Maps and pressing the media button will bring the car's radio. While in some cars, it will always bring the car's version of utility or always Car Play/AA version.

Mazda removed touchscreens from all models starting 2019 or so: https://www.motorauthority.com/news/1121372_why-mazda-is-pur...

So consider yourself lucky to even have the option!

I personally think Mazda has the least annoying tech of any mainstream car - you can generally turn off annoying beeps (unless legally required), they've kept physical controls for everything, and they've managed to maintain some semblance of steering feedback.

Before carplay and android auto, at least on my 2015 Mazda3, the UI was designed with the knob in mind, and you could quickly navigate through the menus without looking once you became familiar with the most often used functions. Of course, now that you have interfaces that were not designed with a knob in mind, we suffer trying to spin the knob and highlight the appropriate touch point.
The knob is a UI/UX disaster itself. A digital system that literally requires you to look at the screen instead of the road to access nested after nested menu items.
I just bought a brand new Mazda3 (2024 model year) and picked it up on Monday. I am able to disable all of the features you're mentioning on this car, and I can also choose whether alerts are only visual in the HUD or if they are visual + audible.

The only thing I can't disable is the ding when you start the car without first having your driver's seatbelt buckled, which does annoy the shit out of me because it's a turbo car and I want to give it a few seconds of warm-up before driving to be nicer to it, which I do while getting settled. I always wear a seatbelt, but I buckle it last before I start driving, not first when I first get in the car.

Otherwise it seems pretty great. It was very annoying off the lot, but 20 minutes with the owner's manual in my driveway and I made it tolerable while keeping all the advance technology.

Maybe I'll find additional annoyances over time, this is my first car I've owned with all the new-fangled safety technology designed for normies who can't drive properly.

Some of those dings are mandatory
I'm guessing the driver's seatbelt ding is one of the mandatory ones. Thanks to the 99% of terrible drivers in the US and our incompetent regulators, we get enforced mandatory enshittification.
I think they can optimize the ding to be tolerable. I own Subaru in Canada and it only dings me for seatbelts after I starting moving faster than 20kmph.

Even if the regulations require a ding for any speed, I assume it doesn’t need to ding when in park.

That would have been a significant improvement. But compared to the OPs experience in the link, I am okay with my current level of frustration. This is a small item to be bothered by.
You're correct about it being mandatory:

> At the left front designated seating position (driver's position), a warning system that activates a continuous or intermittent audible signal for a period of not less than 4 seconds and not more than 8 seconds and that activates a continuous or flashing warning light visible to the driver for not less than 60 seconds (beginning when the vehicle ignition switch is moved to the “on” or the “start” position) when condition (A) exists simultaneously with condition (B) ...

> (A) The vehicle's ignition switch is moved to the “on” position or to the “start” position.

> (B) The driver's automatic belt is not in use, as determined by the belt latch mechanism not being fastened, ...

https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-49/part-571/section-571.2...

If 99% of the drivers in the U.S. are indeed terrible, then anything that makes 100% of the drivers strap into their seatbelt upon entering the vehicle is improving safety. In that case, the regulators would be competent.

Enshittification would be something like selling third-party access to drivers eyeballs in a way that fucks up the infotainment UX, or selling driver data in a scummy way that encourages phishing attacks from within the infotainment screen.

Not sure how it would actually continue from there, but eventually this process of screwing up the end product in the interest of rent-seeking would make it difficult for the person to actually drive from point and to point b, which is the whole purpose the car was designed for. And at that point people would start questioning Kia (or whatever) as an actual vehicle useful for transportation, and the company would then fail.

That would be enshittification. What you describe is just an annoying safety feature.

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That is insanely frustrating.

Does the car turn itself off if you're in park and undo your seatbelt?

No. But if you ever remove your seatbelt while it's on, it immediately starts dinging, even if you're in park with the parking brake set (which is an electronic parking brake). It typically takes me around 20-30 seconds to get settled before I drive after I get in the car, and for that entire time it dings every 5 seconds until I buckle the seatbelt.

For someone that is obsessive about safety and is a skilled driver, it feels like some type of indictment that my vehicle is insulting me and accusing me of wanting to drive without a seatbelt, which is the furthest thing from the truth.

Sibling commenter- looks like you've been shadowbanned since you came back in 2022. You might want to reach out to the moderators to see if you can get this removed.
Part of me thinks it's auto companies both making sure they dot their i's and cross their t's in case they get hauled into court regarding vehicle safety as well as hammering "look, we're safer than other vehicles!" down consumers' throats.

Or my perceived level of competence among the average driver is way off and the general population needs to be coddled.

Same. Have a 2023 CX-5. Spouse disables the lane guidance. I can live with it.

The seat belt chime is too damn loud and persistent. And it seems crazy that it chimes even with the car in park!

2021 cx-30. I would even rip apart the center console if I knew a way to disable this.
See whether it is possible to disable via coding (OBD). My Audi can be customized down to "how many dings, including zero", and when they trigger, like "not if you're stopped".
In EU, the 2024 Mazda3s now have to comply with new directive where they DING every time you go slightly over the speed limit. What they think is a speed limit (which is commonly inaccurate due to bad nav data or bad sign recognition data).

DING.

In the US, you can turn the ding or visual indicator off. You can also adjust when the notification happens. I kept it to visual only and set it to alert when I went more than 5MPH over the speed limit, because I want to help keep myself honest.

It's disappointing it's forced to ding in the EU. In the US, there are many roads where you /must/ drive over the speed limit or you become a road obstruction that is actually putting yourself and others at risk. As an example, several Interstate highways have sections that drop to 65MPH through major metros but outside of high-traffic periods, the established speed is 80MPH on these, just as it is on other sections of the same Interstate (where the speed limit is likely 75MPH).

Then make it mandatory to have all the vehicles equipped with 'Dingibility', just like in the movie Demolition Man :-)
Wait until you find out about the Mazda telemetry / data collection. Disabling it results in a prompt asking to re-enable it every time you start your car.

Imagine if your iPhone asked you to enable some non-default setting every time you unlocked it. As if you had the audacity to change your devices’ behavior!

So far my newest car is a 2006 BMW with just enough electronics to be helpful but not so much I get the constant noises I've had when renting anything newer. Amazingly nothing major has let go yet.

Did enjoy renting a Tesla Model 3 but I can't stand the 'modern minimal apartment' driving experience, give me a Supra style wrap around cockpit or give me death.

What I came to say though, is this is making me want to restomod my way through the rest of my car ownership career, I'm almost done with a 1981 Mini but after that putting tesla motors and pi driven dashboards in cars exclusively from pre 2010 has a growing appeal.

A 1981 Mini is a great way to get killed. I've had 11 of them (not a typo) and I can probably do a tear down and rebuild while blindfolded but I wouldn't drive one day to day for any amount of money. I did take one on a trip to Scotland and it was a fantastic experience and tons of fun comments from passers by (Clubman, Innocenti engine boosted as far as it would go) but seeing the truck wheels pass by from below the axle is a sobering picture. Please drive something solid.
Hi fellow mini owner! For anyone else reading this - I wholeheartedly agree. Do not buy a mini without knowing what you're getting into.

For myself - Mini's were my first two cars, and the second one is the one I'm restoring. For some reason I still don't fully understand my parents encouraged me to own a vehicle with the reliability and structural strength of a wet paper towel.. And if you know me I'm not exactly risk averse. But I love that thing and it's still one of the most fun vehicles I've driven after all this time. It's also possible to rev it out without constantly breaking the speed limit, something that the BMW and my CBR 1000RR both struggle with (CBR gets plenty of track time).

It's been repainted, solid subframe mounts, blue coil springs, adjustable dampers, adjustable brake bias, disk brakes at the front - you name it. Currently planning the build of a 1275GT motor (SW1 cam etc) and planning to use a Motogadget blue unit to solve many of the electrical gremlins. I don't know if it will be a daily or even if I will keep it long (I love building stuff so when its done I start looking for the next thing), but I've always meant to do some mini club cruises.

Looks like you have the right idea :)

Being risk averse will probably at least result in you driving it like your life is on the line (which it is...).

Keep an eye on the dogbone mount where it goes into the firewall as well as the linkage arms (they're flimsy) and steering housing. Any failure there can cause instantaneous trajectory changes that you can't correct any more.

Clubs are a good way to get to know other people that have done a lot of work on Minis, they're a hoot to drive. If you ride a bike then you're probably already taking the same kind of risk that driving a Mini holds, the bigger problem is other vehicles not seeing you.

Best of luck! And if you ever run into any weird issues hit me up, email in profile.

The Aygo/C1/107 would probably be the closest thing to a classic Mini, but still safe. The 1st gen BMW Mini gets close too.
If an Aygo hit a classic Mini I suspect you wouldn't be able to tell that there were two vehicles involved in the collision, the Aygo would probably drive right through the other vehicle, especially if the Aygo hit the Mini from the side.

I've looked at strengthening the Mini chassis but gave up on account of the kind of weight that would add.

Settings you can't access from the UI of your car can often be changed by purchasing an OBD2 cable and using the config software for your car brand.

One of the first things I do with a new Toyota is pop open Techstream. Just don't break your engine by fiddling with things other than cabin light delays, car alarms, etc.

For others wondering, the article refers to a Kia Ceed
Damn the author hit the experience on my head. I was (forced) into an electric car rental by Hertz and it was one of the most awful experiences I had. Brand escapes me now, but it did everything the author was ranting about. I'm glad it was only a rental.

The nice thing I love about my bmw is the coding apps that exist for it. The first thing I did was code the car to not chime at me for a seat belt and more importantly, not throw up a warning message on the infotainment system.

I've edited more things using that coding app too but having the ability to do that is important to me.

This is a real cycle of suck.

An auto is complex and it's very hard, if not impossible, to figure out how nice or annoying it's going to be until you've really spent some serious time with it.

So automakers make these infuriating cars, and people buy them because it's hard to tell how infuriating they are, but by then it's too late for the customer, and so the automaker is never properly incentivized to make their things suck less.

It’s astonishing to me that car companies continue to push infotainment solutions like they do. It’s clearly outsourced to the cheapest possible development groups. Say what you will about Tesla, at least the center dash feels contemporary. I’m getting sick of it changing constantly, but on the other hand is my 2021 Hondas computer which feels like it would have been pretty cool in 1994.

You’d think BMW or Porsche would be the company to seriously invest in a Car OS, but it keeps not happening. I guess no one cares?

Mercedes is trying with MBOS.
Mercedes is absolutely terrible at software development. The cars themselves used to be fantastic but it's mostly plastic junk now that just looks flashy and the software is so bad it should be illegal.
You’d think BMW or Porsche would be the company to seriously invest in a Car OS, but it keeps not happening. I guess no one cares?

Oh, they care, all right. VW has tried, multiple times (see the whole Cariad debacle). Now GM thinks they can succeed where VW and others have failed.

Automakers simply don't understand the facts of life: there's a club consisting of technology companies who determine how consumers engage with their 'smart' devices, and they ain't in it.

Porsche at least shows some signs of understanding that. They have recently told their parent company to take a long walk off a short pier, and are opening talks with Google. VW AG's technological blundering has probably already cost Porsche billions... and counting.

Right? I just want them to give up. I know the era of the replaceable head unit is over, and probably rightly since modern screens are much larger than you could fit in those days. But please let me swap out the infotainment computer. I can find get a device that provides better maps, phone, and GPS in my old desk drawer.

Just let me flip up the screen and plug an SBC into some USB ports and a DisplayPort.

Big companies refuse to believe it's a better deal to get one $250k programmer than 10 $25k programmers.
I'm currently renting a newish Fiat 500. If I open the drivers door when the Start/Stop system is engaged, the engine won't restart. I can't even turn the key to start the car - the key needs to be completely removed from the ignition and inserted again. Causing the infotainment system to go into a 30 second restart.

Luckily there's a button that disables the system, which I need to remember to press if I need to get out of the car to open a gate or check I'm centered in a parking spot.

I am really trying to understand what problem the engineers at Fiat were solving when they implemented this functionality. What is the "problem" with the engine restarting when the key is in the ignition in the on position, when I'm sat in the seat, all doors closed, clutch depressed, while the car is still in neutral.

"Oh no! The driver is going to be really confused if they leave the key in the ignition, open the door for three seconds, then get back into the car, and the engine starts when they press the clutch like it would if they didn't open the door. Better brick the entire car until the key is completely removed and reinserted into the ignition."

My car also disables the start/stop system when I unlatch my driver's seatbelt. The engine does start by turning the key, though.

I think the logic is that if the driver left the car, there should be no danger of the engine starting without a driver, in case someone or something accidentally pressed the clutch.

Very recognizable!

I've driven quite a lot of different cars over the years, and every one has had the same and different flaws like these.

My current car (Audi) has a system that connects with other Audi's in the neighborhood and warns for "dangers" ahead. It cannot be disabled, not even temporarily. Those dangers are completely normal situations, unfortunately. It warns for "limited visibility" aka there is some light fog, but in practice this warning triggers every time there is some sun shining in the camera sensor. Another warning is slippery road, which is triggered when you plant your foot down and lose some traction (aka classic Audi driver behavior in my city).

The result is that almost every drive, even with perfectly sunny weather, you get a loud beep (the same beep as an engine check light or a flat tire warning) and a warning about poor visibility or slippery roads, which completely distracts you. It's bonkers. Why can't I disable this? I've seriously thought about pulling the SIM card in my car to break all network-enabled features.

A friend of mine has a 2023 Audi. Some of the front sensors are already damaged from normal driving. Apparently any scratches cause them to become unreliable.
Those features aren’t for you, they just put a coat of paint on them to pretend like it is. They are an excuse to increase data collection and reporting to the company.
I have a 2020 Audi, several times I've had to do an emergency swerve to counteract an emergency swerve done by the lane assist while on a slip road. It's also applied emergency braking when I drive down a narrow road that has a line of parked cars, which it thinks I'm going to drive into. It's a real fright to get sudden emergency braking applied when you are carefully negotiating round parked cars. Like you, I get the visibility warning at least once a trip.

Parking it beeps all the time for tight spots - in two tones for front and back. It is so hard to concentrate on parking, or even knowing what it is trying to communicate with me that I would be better just with it off so I can peacefully try to park it.

Also, it gets me to log in to the interface every now and then. If I don't then I can't access navigation, android auto etc..

My other car, a 2011 European Ford, is the complete antithesis.

Ha, even my Model 3 doesn't do any of this (or at least it can all be disabled so you don't see or hear it). I'd be irritated if there weren't ways to disable all that misbehavior.

Fortunately there are still plenty of cars you can buy brand new today that don't have this level of suck. No need to suffer with a 20 year old unsafe heap of a car.

The amount of distraction in a modern car is staggering. You can be driving down the freeway and receive urgent sounding dings with no apparent cause. I can’t wait for the lawsuits.
This is an advertisement for the GMT800 platform - the greatest vehicles ever made.

Not only do they not do this, they have 0 capability to do this. You can buy a "new" bed for $400, same with doors. Bought 2 headlight assemblies for $25 recently. That set of repairs on a Rivian is $14,000.

Hyundai Tucson has most of these features, except they aren't rude. There are rude features.

When you park the car and hit the pushbutton start/stop, it locks the back doors. Who thought this was a good idea?

You want to circulate air? (because you are driving by the dump or in traffic) Push a button. It turns back to outside air after a time. Maybe this is to deter people from gassing themselves. What's that say about Hyundai owners, yikes!

The auto-revert on air recirculation is a new one for me. I have a Kia and I'm pretty sure the systems are identical, so I'm going to see if mine does the same.
I think the trait I've noticed in my car is that the recirculation turns off if you put the HVAC on "auto".

There's a cool feature where it automatically turns on in certain situations like in tunnels. I wish I could add my own recirculation areas since i often drive by a smelly sewage treatment plant.

It turns back to outside air after a time

My mini cooper does the same -- the online consensus seems to be that it does that to prevent moisture buildup inside the car fogging up the windows.

But it sure is annoying during wildfire season when I'm trying to avoid poor air quality outside, I wish they had an override like if you hold the switch down for 5 seconds, it stays in that mode.

Switching to outside air after a while makes sense — CO2 levels in a small closed space quickly go up, and high CO2 impairs concentration.
In every car I’ve ever looked into, the baffle that selects between recirculate and windshield intake is intentionally leaky enough to prevent CO2 and moisture buildup even in full recirculate mode.
I have the opposite air circulation problem with 2013-present Toyota/Lexus models. If you press the pollen filter button (which turns on an ionizer before the filter to make big particles get easily captured by the filter) will automatically set the car to recirculate to help ensure maximum filtration and minimum sneezing. After a few minutes it turns off the ionizer, but also switches back to outside air, throwing away all the carefully cleaned air and triggering a guaranteed sneeze attack after waiting long enough for you to get on the high speed freeway.
Hello Hyundai owner... Evidently you live in a cool environment. When looking online I see this

>That function is called "Automatic Ventilation". Anytime temp is below 59 degrees and recirc is selected for more than 5 min the recirc will automatically change to outside air. However this auto feature can be cancelled. There is a simple procedure outlined in owners manual. It's on page 4/86 in my 2015 Accent owners manual. It's one of those hidden features buried deep in owners manual.

Check your manual and there's likely a way to turn it off.

I wonder if that's a special feature from the Korean manufacturer, like timers on oscillating fans.