Ask HN: How to manage autistic developer?
I moved to a new team and after a few months, this coworker that reports to me can't stop giving me trouble. It usually of the communication kind but there are other issues not worth discussing here. We all work remotely.
The point is that, by asking a few people that are close to him, I discovered he has been diagnosed as autistic. These people tell me HR knows it but everyone is afraid of getting sued or something so it's a don't ask don't tell situation. People simply ignored him.
I will be honest, he drives me crazy on a daily basis. But I want to adapt and accommodate his disability to the best that I can. It's not a situation that I ever experienced as a manager but I think I can make it a useful learning experience that works for both sides, hopefully.
Have you been in this situation? Do you have any advice for making his and my life easier?
63 comments
[ 2.3 ms ] story [ 160 ms ] threadCoworkers, with a preexisting work history with this employee, know that HR is afraid of getting sued.
Why would an HR department be afraid of being sued by an employee?
The most likely explanation is that they want to fire them for performance and are trying to limit the likelihood of a lawsuit.
Why would a coworker be able to speak to HR’s internal assessment of an employee’s ability to be fired?
The most likely explanation is that they’ve gone to HR, or a manager, with problems, and the manager has asked HR if they could fire the employee for cause before.
“People simply ignored him” is more ambiguous, but in the context above, I take it to mean - other coworkers want him fired, but given HR’s inaction, they are taking their own action by ignoring the coworker and working around them rather than trying to include them.
Also, perhaps you should understand their PoV, it is likely they have deeply thought something through and perhaps they find it best or understand that they simply do not need to communicate with you.
The difference between the population of those who have received a diagnosis and those who are on the spectrum is night and day, and it's often the line which separates whether you'll have any reasonable chance at life. The OP suspects his coworker has received such a diagnosis.
So when I hear OP say that his coworker may have a diagnosis, that absolutely changes the picture in my head. It's up to you to decide whether professional medical diagnosis is a signal to you.
Next time, please be more empathetic to the people who have not been diagnosed for whatever reason. "On the spectrum" means autistic. Whatever other interpretation you might want to give it is on yourself.
If you fire him because he is autistic, then he can sue you successfully. If you can point to a specific problem with his performance related to communication or anything else, then I don't think he will be able to make a case if you fire him.
I'm not a lawyer but that just seems logical.
I would assume that if you write or say anything about the autism at work, then you are looking at a discrimination lawsuit. If you make an official record of unacceptable behavior or performance without referencing it, then you shouldn't have a problem.
If the company, as represented by HR, is disinterested in trying to help improve conditions for all, then you probably can either tolerate it or leave. This isn’t really a problem with an individual that the individual needs to fix. It’s a Human Resources issue that the company needs to work out.
- Team members who need to communicate too frequently can have dedicated time scheduled for them when it's convenient for you.
- You're allowed to tell them that you're busy, or to not respond to them until it's convenient.
- With folks who have trouble making themselves understood, I like socratic method type questions to get them to answer their own questions, or to get on the same page.
As a manager, you can be helping them to set goals, and listen to what they think they say they need to meet them. You can work with HR on any additional assistance they need.
While folks with autism spectrum disorders sometimes need additional support, your role as their manager doesn't need to change dramatically to address that specifically. You will also encounter people who either don't have a diagnosis, or you won't know have a diagnosis, and you will need to address their needs whether or not you know about it.
I mean you've got to accept that he won't be aware of, let alone considerate of, other people's feelings. Social rules will be a challenge for him. He won't respect you simply because you're a manager. You have to earn his respect. He will be very logical and reasonable with what he does understand. His ability to remain on task is going to be limited unless he's fired up. But if he gets there, his productivity may shock you.
He will likely overestimate how much he understands. But when he actually gets things, he really will get them.
This is all vague generalities.
Many autistics are very much considerate of other people's feelings - once they're made aware of them. Most that I know are in fact much more considerate than NTs.
That said, it's still possible that they will come across hurtful or disrespectful even when they're making an effort to accomodate such feelings - simply because they will be more logical and less emotional in their speech and general demeanor.
It helps if the communication and effort goes both ways - the autistic person trying to accommodate the feelings of others, and others trying to understand the (sometimes brutal) logic of the autistic.
Depending on the details, it might be helpful to ask him if he can think of any changes that could be made to make your working relationship more effective.
What actually is the issue you're facing? Can you be specific?
If you can find a way to communicate effectively with this person, you might be able to turn this situation into a positive. The folks on the spectrum I've worked have typically had insights and working strengths that neurotypical people didn't, such as an extremely detailed and in depth view of systems to a degree that many of their peers considered obsessive.
Yes, communicating with them takes extra empathy and sometimes patience, maybe some work environment reasonable accommodations. Maybe there are some communication styles, or simply individuals, they respond better to. It takes training, and not gonna lie, a lot of heart.
But nobody can give any useful advice (or even anecdotes) if you don't explain what's going on. "They are autistic." OK, and? What's the issue you're facing with them? What have you tried so far?
I suspect that giving too many details may make it obvious who they are. Perhaps the co-worker reads Hacker News?
Honestly, if the poster is serious about being a professional manager and wants good advice on this, they should reach out to a professional organization that provides resources e.g.:
https://www.neurodiversityhub.org/resources-for-employers
Using anecdotes from HN as a guide doesn’t seem like a great approach.
(I'm quite aspie, and these are generally the questions I wish people would answer for me.)
At the risk of "projecting" from my own life experience, you're possibly keeping it all bottled up inside, giving him zero opportunity to address your concerns, let alone be aware of them.
Is it a behavioral issue? You may find yourself needing to "explain common sense," and set expectations accordingly. (Likewise, if the problem is behavior during meetings, you might need to reflect on if your meetings are useful, or just "gatherings of people so someone feels important.")
Is it a performance issue? You can only do so much with those, so it's best to do whatever you'd do with a person who has a performance problem. (Usually some form of training, set clear expectations, re-assignment to a different task, or PIP.)
Are they annoying, requires handholding, or just need a lot of attention? https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=38258003 has good strategies. What I've done with people who want/need a lot of attention is to set regular meetings, and then be selective about handling interruptions.
That being said, IMO, it's best to discuss these issues with HR and your higher-up. Decide what your boundaries are, and what the company's boundaries and expectations are.
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Autism isn't an excuse for violating personal boundaries.
A few years ago I watched a documentary on autism and one of the autistic people was going through other co-workers desks.
If your autistic team member is repeatedly violating personal boundaries, you need to treat them as you would any other person: Point out the infraction and then terminate them if they cannot fix the behavior.
A disability like autism doesn't grant someone the permission to partake in antisocial behavior.
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Is your role correctly identified as manager? Or are you really an architect, project lead, or a principal engineer? Some companies are under the illusion that everyone wants to be a "Manager," and incorrectly label every leadership role as a manager.
(Some of the clues for situations like this is that you would only have one to three direct reports, and that you will spend a lot of time hands-on in the code or other engineering activities.)
The critical difference in a situation like this is that managers handle people problems, leads delegate their people problems back to their manager.
If your role is mislabeled as manager, then you really should make your autistic co-worker your boss's problem. If that doesn't work, you should get reassigned or find a job elsewhere.
I'm a father of two severely autistic boys. Check out my blog post on what I wish people knew about autism: https://tiberriver256.github.io/autism/as-a-father-what-i-wi...
TL;DR
Every autistic person is unique and different. Just like every other person you meet.
I highly recommend you:
- Take the time to get to know them
- Communicate your expectations clearly "I expected you to communicate in x fashion, because of y. You recently communicated in z way. That didn't work for me because of abc"
- Ask them what their preferred methods of communication are and have them explain why
- See if you can come together to find a communication style that works for the both of you.
The most rewarding aspect of having a direct report is seeing them grow. The most beneficial part of having multiple direct reports is the growth potential it gives you in learning from a diverse set of humans.
Don't miss the opportunity here. Good luck!
From your post, you've given nothing to support their perspective, which make me think you're low in empathy.
There was an interesting post on HN some weeks ago about autism and authority you could probably dig up.
Communication style and tone are important, and autistic people do not get a pass on trying to understand them, even if you may want to give them more grace when they slip up.
With that in mind, a goal should be something like “coworkers report improvement in communication style and tone.” It should be something that other people assess, not a checklist of things for the employee to self-report progress towards. (You never want to give people who don’t correctly see how they’re perceived by others the option of grading themselves. First, their lack of self-awareness means that they aren’t the best judge of improvement, and second, treating things a a checklist to complete will give the impression that you wanted some line items addressed, rather than a holistic improvement in a vague problem area.)
When you document, pay special attention to times when their misunderstanding caused rework. Use those as examples to help them improve. It can be tough for autistic people to take a vague problem and figure out a plan to tackle it, so the more specific examples of problem, outcome, and desired change you can make for them, the clearer it will be what is expected of them. It is better for you and for them - they have a better chance to improve, and you have documented instances of business impact if a turnaround doesn’t happen and you need HR to sign off on moving on.
For accommodation - they have not told you that they have a disability, you’ve heard it secondhand. It’s their choice to make you aware of their autism, and also their responsibility to request accommodations since they have not told you yet. However, you can make informal accommodations, but I would treat it the same way you accommodate employees’ individual personalities and strengths/weaknesses. They, like everyone else, should not be below a certain standard of behavior, but within that standard there will be differences in what each individual needs. You employee sounds like they need direct coaching and clear examples of what is or is not working. Try to give them tasks with high clarity and limited communication requirements, if you can. However, if you find they need more clarity than a reasonable person would expect, again I would have a goal of “the PM reports a decrease in the amount of back-and-forth on tickets you pick up, without a drop in velocity” or something similar. If they find they need more formal accommodations than that, well, now is the time for them to tell you about their autism diagnosis.
Best of luck! This is a challenging managerial task.
It is Movember. Maybe use it as an excuse to open up in a conversation with your colleague on men's mental health issues and how stigmas around neurodivergence are unfair? Maybe you can grow mustaches together and raise awareness for a good cause. I'm saying that it sounds like your first step here is to have some empathy and try connecting on a personal level.
A developer with autism may turn out to be an astounding asset. If you are managing this person, then it is up to you to find what motivates and produces the best work from them.
Welcome to management.
HTH
For a start google "working with aspies" or "working with mild autism adults". It'll give you a list of suggestions and expectation setting.
When you're ready, get into a meeting with him. Present the problems and how that's bothering you, get him to see your side or the side of the offended parties. Then suggest changes to his communication style, and set a goal for him.
Best of luck!
Like, could you imagine if instead of autism this post was say about woman - if someone said they had a female report giving them trouble, with no specifics, and then asked for advice on how to manage women in general - i think people would think that is rediculous.
If you have to communicate verbally, any topic can become contentious. When that happens, say something positive and revisit it later.
When a toddler hits you the best way to react is vocal and exaggerated hurt. Same principle. They will have extraordinary empathy if they see it that way.
Ask them how they are doing often and offer to help. Be on their team.
Praise often.