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Do Programmers Cope with Breakups Differently than non programmers?

4 points by BonoboIO ↗ HN
As a programmer currently navigating the turbulent waters of a breakup, I’ve been reflecting on how my professional mindset impacts my personal coping strategies. In dissecting the relationship, I find myself in a loop of self-analysis and blame, scrutinizing every possible mistake I might have made. This intense self-review feels similar to debugging code, where every detail is examined and re-examined.

This leads me to wonder, is this approach to coping with breakups - this deep, analytical dive into what went wrong - common among programmers? Are we more prone to applying our problem-solving and analytical skills to our personal lives, especially in emotionally charged situations like breakups? How does this compare to the coping mechanisms of non-programmers? I’m interested in both personal experiences and observations on whether our profession shapes our personal responses to such emotional events.

9 comments

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alex_lav
Programmers love to think they’re different from other people.
fizzbizz28
As a programmer, thats kinda true!
alex_lav
Maybe it’s just the human experience. Do plumbers think they’re wired differently?
DangitBobby
I think it's fair to say that programming isn't for everyone, and further that people with a certain type are personality are more likely to be interested in or excel at it. It's also probably fair to say that programming takes a thoughtful and structured approach, which if you do for long enough almost certainly begins to affect your general mindset and how you approach problem solving in general.

I may be just spitballing here, but from what I understand, people often sort themselves into disciplines based on how they perceive themselves and what skills they perceive it to require, and so it stands to reason that the average programmer can be expected to have a different personality from average people of a different group, or all other groups.

alex_lav
I do not agree with most of this post, and I believe it is indeed “just spitballing”, but I appreciate the intent.

Programming is a set of thoughts and behaviors that exist in many aspects of life unrelated to programming. The group you’re describing would be everyone that spends a lot of time in those thoughts and behaviors.

Also I kinda just categorically reject that programming shapes one’s personality to that extent.

jrflowers
Everybody thinks they are special, but so do programmers, which is what makes them special.
BonoboIO
Short answer would no.

Just thinking if it is that way only for me or if everybody has the same „evil creature“ inside that projects everything onto itself.

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ossm1db
int relationship(double effort) { return -1; }