Ask HN: How to figure out a good direction/goals for the year ahead?
I'm very interested in the idea of having a great year, being ambitious, achieving a lot in that year etc, really moving my life forward rather than languishing but I always struggle to articulate what that would mean, how I should achieve that, what I need to change etc and when I start trying to think about it, I quickly become overwhelmed. My excitement and interest in doing this, quickly becomes a hindrance as my perfectionist tendencies tend to kick in and I try to look at it from every angle and have no idea what I should do.
I read articles / watch youtube videos and everyone has a different process and different journaling prompts etc, that just make me want to throw up. I guess I'm just not really good at self awareness, but I do have a clear desire to want to do something and to be able to move forward, but defining this, defining what really matters, figuring out what standards I have to hold myself too, how I need to think, what mindsets I need, how I need to schedule myself etc, just quickly makes my head explode, to the point I think i’ve thought quite hard about this every year, but at the end of each year, i’m not sure how helpful it has really been as I don’t seem to be any further ahead than those people that seem to give zero thought to any of this, except that I wear myself out trying to think about it, because I have this desire to improve myself.
Does anyone have a process they follow to cut out the noise?
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I recommend bullet journaling, to get stuff on paper/written down first before you take action. Then you can revise past notes to see how much you've progressed. It's worth being very clear about what you want, and have a rough draft of the means to get it.
There's a phrase I always loved: 'What's meant for you won't pass you by'.
I'm going to be looking into fine tuning process in some way.
It seems to turn into the opposite: as the expensive gadget sits unused, its physical presence creates a guilt association that makes it increasingly unlikely that I’d pick it up again because I don’t want to face the unappealing remorse.
Learning works out much better for me when it’s a thing I can do in a corner of a hard drive or notebook or whatever, almost pretending it’s not there.
My three habits from this year were:
* work out everyday
* do something “interesting” everyday
* read everyday
As I look back on the year I can definitely say I’m in better shape, more active in finding cool stuff to do, and reading more books than I have in my adult life.
YMMV, but I suggest focusing on the little things that point you towards where you want your life to go.
Very curious about what you would do on a daily bases that would qualify as "interesting"? Any particularly rewarding "interesting" activities? I'd love to inject some routine variety in my life.
* Read in a cafe / the park
* Try a new restaurant with a friend
* Go see a movie in theaters
* Go to a concert
* Check out a local art show
* Try an art project at home
The gist of it was that I ended up putting more effort into planning my week by asking myself "what's the cool thing I'm doing today". From there you end up finding venues and actives that have an event that you want to attend (eg a concert) and on slower days you find an excuse to hang out with a friend / do a hobby you find relaxing.
My advice is to set a timer and gradually increase it. Start with 10 minutes. Put your phone in the other room. Set you timer. And just read. Repeat. On the third day raise it by a minute. Repeat. Start looking for other ways to exercise your ability to sustain focus and reduce quick hit, dopamine juicing time sucks. You will get better over time.
I had a long list of really technical and hard to read books. So faced with reading them, I always defaulted to something easier.
Instead, if you start with something gripping and easier to read (even some trashy fiction) it builds up momentum and the habit. Once you get some momentum you can start tackling the harder books, alternating back to easier stuff when motivation wanes
I think that's the first step to take. Finding, and articulating, three/five things, you'd like to have done by the end of next year.
From there on you can step backwards, define goals inbetween and find the things you need to do.
One of my goals, two years ago, was "get rid of the debt and save some money". So I broke that down to "pay off a credit" and "save money". I then took my yearly bonus to pay off most of the credit, set up a monthly payment plan and waited for the credit to be zero. Great goal inbetween, great feeling, too. Then I took the money I saved each month and put it in another account, now I've saved up almost three months of expenses. In February I'll hit that goal and switch the savings plan to actually invest some money in ETFs/solid stocks and save more money up that way.
Feels good. Small steps. Lots of them. And no complicated "if this then that and also that"-stuff. Just doing.
For example, I want to become a better systems programmer, but I'm not really sure what to do with that desire. Goals are hard. But when I see C++ code, I know that I tremble at the sight of syntax I'm not familiar with, and that uncertainty is much easier to act on. I still won't "know" C++ in its entirety after an afternoon Googling session, but I definitely made some progress
You know how great writers say they clear their writer's block by just starting?
I found something profound about that. Writing is hard when you don't have anything to write about, and maybe there's something analogous to be said for goal setting.
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210329-do-maximisers-...
The other thing is a bias for action. Start doing something rather than looking at courses and blogs that teach you how to do the thing. Its easy to take 100 different courses which in the end just make you confused about what to do.
I'd say, focus on identifying your own problem and find specific solutions that work for you.
You've mentioned perfectionism which I also struggled with but I've learned to manage. What worked for me is:
1) Learning to deal with my inner critic. Google a technique called "morning pages". Basically you have to learn how to act while ignoring your inner critic and trusting your gut.
2) Learning to accept that perfection doesn't exist and try to learn a bit more in every experience. I simply do the best I can given the resources I have at the time and move on. Finishing something is better than not doing anything at all. A wrong decision is better than no decision.
I've spoken with it a few times at length over the last couple months and each time it has drilled down to the actual problems I am dealing with and gave me good, supportive advice on setting goals and actionable plans. But YMMV.
You can't change everything all at once and these questions helped us zero in on the one or two things that would make the most difference in our lives.
to cut through the noise, you might need to find a trusted friend/mentor who doesn't overthink things and could be non-judgmental, but still suggest how you might make specific changes in an area you've both agreed upon is important to you. It sounds like that could be a game-changer for you.
All the best to you!
[^1]: Donald Whitney is writing to Christians, so some people might find his more general (21-30) questions more relevant.
[1] https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/25744928
[2] https://www.youtube.com/@CalNewportMedia
In general, fewer goals are better, or you’ll spread yourself too thin and achieve none.
If you can’t answer the above question, then the answer could be “I want to be able to answer this question in five years”, which would mean trying out a lot of different activities and endeavors in order to get a better grasp on what fits you and what you want to achieve.
> I have this desire to improve myself.
This raises the questions of “improve in what way, specifically?” and “to what purpose exactly?”. Wanting to be ambitious shouldn’t be an end in itself.
do more: building, exercising.
- Write out bad ideas on spare paper to get them out of your head.
- Write out good/private ideas into a diary, like a conversation or journal you have with yourself.
Any non-practical information you want to keep in your head should be organized. Opinions, theories, and whatever should be threads that are tied down to some mental storage device, (a mental map) or a software solution (excel doc).
After a while you start to see patterns in the media you're receiving and it becomes less mentally taxing to watch.
The desire to self improve is not a goal. It is a desire. Overheating with desire, cannot help you to move forward.
I'd focus on conserving one meaning or something you can see, and dodge the idea that you're going to mentally generate a good direction out of the infinite slew of media inputs to your life.
I don't think you (or anyone) can outsmart the problem of self improvement.
Why? because no matter where you are going, you go from where you are at the moment.
We tend to forget, downplay, overlook our past achievements and what we are good at we give it for granted, like if it was normal for everyone and compare with others that way better, (there is always someone way better! at least for 99% of us).
When I'm overwhelmed I just practice acceptance, and think "let's do it just a little bit better" that is helping me with perfectionism.
Acceptance, would you still love your best friend if they are not "having a great year, being ambitious, achieving a lot in that year etc, really moving my life forward rather than languishing" I bet you would, why often we treat ourself worse than to our best friends?
Remove all that pressure, and create your own compass that feels good just for you! making things better, that somehow feel rewarding, if you are not having those feelings maybe shake things up, and do some changes.
Hope it helps!
Over time, I’ve learned that my success rate at achieving big important items within one or two years is negligibly low, but over a 3-4 year span, it’s higher than what intuition would suggest.
The interesting consequence for me has been having to pick the big items carefully - if it’s going to happen over the next 4 years and by then it doesn’t matter as much, it’s not really worth it.
Thinking long term is really hard. I suck at predicting what I would want 5 years from now. I’ve resorted to using a heuristic of “Will this matter irrespective of when I can get there?” as a substitute.
For example, wanting to live closer to my parents and spending more time with them seems like a better pick than wanting to learn how to train an LLM from scratch.
[1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGuFdX5guE